DJing Discussion

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Most ridiculous comment/request ever made to you while djing?

Kool DJ Sheak One 8:38 PM - 15 September, 2006
I have had the most amazingly ridiculous comments made to me almost on a weekly basis,Like: "Do you have anything funky?"
(while im playing James Brown). Or "Do you have something I can dance to?"(while everyone is dancing). Or the classic "Do have any Hip-Hop?(while your playing Jay-Z etc.)
Just when I think I have heard it all, some genius comes at me with some crazy statements.
And now with serato, I get the two guys: the know it all, who says"this guy has every song ever recorded on his computer!"
And the other guy who cant handle the concept of serato and asks questions like"is that like an ipod player?"
Anybody else have some classic drunk people phrases?
Thundercat 8:44 PM - 15 September, 2006
It's my birthday, come dance with me...
DeezNotes 8:48 PM - 15 September, 2006
Can you play (insert song here that doesn't go with whatever it is you're currently playing)? I'm about to leave and I want to hear it before we go.

Hows about you stay at the damn party like everyone else and you MIGHT get to hear your song if you leave me the hell alone!?
djaction 8:50 PM - 15 September, 2006
"Play that NEW song about my grills!" (this was like 2 weeks ago)

"Play Some Hip-Hop!" (while ATCQ - Scenario is playing)..

"Play The 50 CENT BIRTHDAY SONG" (This is like a weekly occurence)

I gotta start writing this ish down.
birdbrain 8:50 PM - 15 September, 2006
the best is when i'm with people making these requests to other people and i just haveto hang my head.
scotty B 9:13 PM - 15 September, 2006
I was Djing a house party about a month ago. Was spinning mostly underground hip hop/ golden era ish.. there were a lot of cats breaking, and they were damn good. Every five minutes the same 3 girls would walk right through the middle of the circle, come up to me, and ask me to play Sexyback! the first two times I told them I would play that stuff later. after they asked 6 times in a half hour ....I never played it! Something about that song bugs me ever since!
Kool DJ Sheak One 9:20 PM - 15 September, 2006
We need to make t-shirts with some of these quotes. Shit is comedy.
concorde_pilot 9:21 PM - 15 September, 2006
i think this will become a very funny thread :D
tig ol' bitties 9:45 PM - 15 September, 2006
At a Harvard Party I DJ'd:

Dude:
"Did you know most people here are european"
Me:
"Nah, whats that supposed to mean?"
Dude:
"We like Techno, thats what it means"
Me:
"I wasnt hired to play techno, I was hired to play hip hop and throw in some 80's along the way"
Dude:
"but we all want tachno, this hip hop shit sucks"
Me:
"You paying me?"
Dude:
"No"
Me:
"ok, so why dont you shut up and go fuck your self" (mind you the dude was giving me the nasty attitude)

it worked so thats all that counts, I think he left, which is all the better.
Nihad 9:51 PM - 15 September, 2006
Quote:
It's my birthday, come dance with me...


i'd love to hear this one ..

have heard all from post one, man those are classic!!

tit ol >> classic aswell, but over here in europe it's the opposite. i'm doing a house music party and some girls got pretty upset coz i said i don't play r'n'b ... nasty ..
tig ol' bitties 9:56 PM - 15 September, 2006
LOL!
yeah man, its one thing if ya know i came prepared and had it, and the dude wasnt trying to like front on me, i would have been glad to play it.
But like when ya get all up in my grill and cop a tude you sure as hell aint getting your way.
Dj Ryme 10:21 PM - 15 September, 2006
Last night I got "can you play that new song by little joc"

and also last night some white guy comes up requesting bay area shit, he goes do you have any mac dre, I said "no", do you have any keek da sneek? I said "no". So then I throw on corey harts sunglasses at night to make him get half way happy until he realized it wasnt what he thought it was :)

And that was just last night!
uno seis 11:08 PM - 15 September, 2006
little joc...lol
Freedom 11:29 PM - 15 September, 2006
Best one is when girl comes request song, you play the song into the mix. 5 min later , Hey did you play my song yet?

they go smoke and mingle and dont even listen.
DJ Evil One 11:34 PM - 15 September, 2006
will you play sexy back for the third time tonight?
sixxx 11:38 PM - 15 September, 2006
"is that a banana in your pocket? Or are you happy to see me?"
Richierollz 12:03 AM - 16 September, 2006
Im DJing @ a Bar in a college area and some old guy, shit at least 60, comes up to the booth and asks for Gap Band -Burn Rubber on Me, Im like "No sorry i dont have that, I play Top 40, Hip Hop, R&B, all the newer stuff"
He fuckin pops a boner and goes off telling me " No You fucking have that song i know it... now play it, " Now he's really angry and his one eye is about to pop out. Im like "holy shit, who the hell are you guy" He was escorted out, last I ever saw him there. Seriously though, he really wanted to pick a fight with me.

DJ Sheak One, I want in on that T shirt deal.
My best request... "Can you play something decent"
My Reply ........"Yeah I dont think I have that, Who's it by or how does it go" While I'm playing Usher Yeah. WTF
joerockets 12:37 AM - 16 September, 2006
"Can you play some E-40?" while "I Hope I Don't Go Back" is blaring over the speakers
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 12:38 AM - 16 September, 2006
^^ that'd be funny if that dude had ssl and handed u a thumb drive with that song, or better yet, forced you to prove it by searching/finding that song by keyword... and you did have it :)


seriously though, i too hate aggressive people and their requests. if people were nice and friendly and just politely asked, i would play it, but if they were hella irate...
m0rph! 12:42 AM - 16 September, 2006
If anyone wants a good t-shirt, my boy sent me this link the other day:

www.fractalspin.com

Personally, I would sew the "moveable button" permanently to the second checkbox (in case some smart-@$$ tried to move it during the middle of my set). LMAO!
Kool DJ Sheak One 12:43 AM - 16 September, 2006
" No You fucking have that song i know it... now play it, "


Hilarious!
Or "You call yourself a DJ and you don't have __________ song?"
DJ Nevoc 12:49 AM - 16 September, 2006
I'd like a bud light and a vodka red bull.


He got mad cause I pointed to the bar and told him he had to order over there.
Likwid 12:55 AM - 16 September, 2006
Quote:
I'd like a bud light and a vodka red bull.


He got mad cause I pointed to the bar and told him he had to order over there.


haha, thats classic. i'm gonna start doin that.
akaider 12:56 AM - 16 September, 2006
i was playin a birthday party for my homie and the mom asked me if i had 'the happy birthday' song (and not the one by altered images). wtf!
Nihad 10:17 AM - 17 September, 2006
hahaha ..

some othe classics?

girl: "when will the band upstairs start to play?"
me: "dunno .."
girl: "you're supposed to work here right?"

or maybe even "where's the bathroom?"

funny she don't ask the band where to dump it ..
gucca69 11:59 AM - 17 September, 2006
get this i was spinnin in a bar last week on sat nite bout 12.30 doing my thing.
cool crowd everybody happy when this girl comes up and says '' could you do a big favour my friend over there is feeling a bit ill and has a terrible headache could you turn the music down a little bit please''
i just looked at her in amazement and smiled when she went down to her friend i cranked it up another notch.
crazy people out there!
TelosHedge 1:50 PM - 17 September, 2006
here's a wedding story with a nice quote in it -

i'm doing a relatively classy wedding at one of the top rated catering halls in this area. i would have to guess i've got somewhere between 250-300 guests, which is fairly large for our area.

the father of the bride comes up and requests a doo wop song. sure, no problem. pop it on. everybody's happy.

10 minutes later, he asks for another. again, no problem.

so now we're done with some formalities and i get everybody up to dance. a little bit of disco and funk is what's happening. he SPRINTS over to the dj booth and asks me:

"what the fuck happened to the doo wop????"
"huh? i played both of your songs... i can play a few more later on if you'd like"
"fuck that. right now. i want doowop all night"
"but your daughter and her spouse have requests they want to hear, and i have 300 people that want to dance"
"fuck them, i'm paying for this shit. doowop. no more requests."
"uhh, alright sir"

as soon as i said sir he screamed at me - he thought i said 'son' and freaked out. took a swing at me and shit. my MC grabbed him and calmed him down. pretty fucked up right? so i decieded to ruin that wedding. 4 hours of fucking doowop. i played 16 candles at a wedding.

people were coming up asking for dance music and i told them i wasnt allowed. the bride and groom were so mortified they didnt even come up to us.
CMS 3:35 PM - 17 September, 2006
@ Telos,

That's why I hate DJing weddings. They may pay more than my residency at the local club, but I don't have to deal with shit like that.
Julls 3:38 PM - 17 September, 2006
Telos,

I would have done the same thing. Good on you bro!
Kool DJ Sheak One 5:20 PM - 17 September, 2006
Weddings suck! You got two sides of the family telling you different things.
My favorite wedding quote"Do you like this shit?...Well nobody here likes this shit!"(comin from an 80 year old).
Dj Ace 6:06 PM - 17 September, 2006
'while standing behind the turntables setting a blend'- Hey are you the DJ?
Dj Ace 6:09 PM - 17 September, 2006
The funniest thing is I told him I wasn't the DJ and to ask the bartender to show him were the music was coming from!
DJ Nevoc 11:06 PM - 17 September, 2006
I did a wedding a couple weeks ago and as Im standing there mixing, there girl comes up...

girl: "You the DJ?"

me: "Ya."

girl: "Are you sure, cause if your not I'll drag your ass out
to the parking lot and run you over with my expedition."

me: "I'm positive."

girl: "Ok here is your money."
wakka 11:19 PM - 17 September, 2006
"You're not using CDs?"
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 11:31 PM - 17 September, 2006
dang, there's some super violent peeps out there
djnezzy 11:40 PM - 17 September, 2006
mixin 2 old skool garage tunes last nite a strange looking guy taps me i say to him 2 sec mate be there no as i got a mix on going so he keeps tapin me he says mate mate mate i turned round yes wat can i do for you he says can u play my humps black eyes peas a song i refuse 2 play at all times.ok mate i will just slot my humps in ov monster boy and tell me its real think that will go nice.not fuck off mate
ilon 12:54 AM - 18 September, 2006
this is one of my favoritie ones...

I'm playing Hips Don't Lie by Shakira when a thugged out white boy comes up to me and says.. "FUCK THIS MAINSTREAM SHIT BRO, U KNOW U CAN DO SOMETHING BETTER!" So I'm like.. "Sure, what would you like to hear" expecting for some cool request...

.


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


.


.

Whigger: "Can you play GOLD DIGGER?" - this happend like two months ago...
Julls 1:14 AM - 18 September, 2006
LOL @ Gold Digger. That shits funny.
Lando 1:15 AM - 18 September, 2006
While spinning last weekend, full of old school go-go/house/hip hop heads, one of the waiters asks me if I could play some Johnny Cash or Dolly Parton (mind you, the floor is packed). When I told him "no", he asked where were my CD's and CD player (right when I'm blending "treat em right instrumental" and "knee deep"....didn't know older folks could get hyped like THAT), c'mon man, ?????????????
TelosHedge 1:24 PM - 18 September, 2006
oh, i love it when people come up to me while i'm mixing. it's my favorite.

i do some acapella/instrumental blending and some of it gets a little difficult for me - and still people always know to come up during the hardest shit that i do and want to start talking about how ugly their kids are.

i think i'm gonna get a big red neon MIXING light and tape it to my head so people know to leave me alone.
ral 3:17 PM - 18 September, 2006
you still use turntables???
dcquik 3:36 PM - 18 September, 2006
can you play that one song? umm i forgot what it was called.
DjEmmTee 3:48 PM - 18 September, 2006
the best one is at 9pm, you get some chick that comes up and says your playing all the old shit, can you play sexy back and then promiscuous girl?
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 5:14 PM - 18 September, 2006
(10minutes after request....) how about when they be EYEBALLING you across the dance floor giving hand signals and sign language, trying to communicate with you "so like r u gonna play that song or what?"
djaction 5:24 PM - 18 September, 2006
"Can you play some dance music?"

(in the middle of THE PERCULATOR; people going bananas all over the place too)
dj solomon 5:54 PM - 18 September, 2006
i've pretty much taken to ignoring everyone... i make em wait at least 5 min before they can talk to me. Usually about 3 min is all they can handle in their drunken state, so they just walk away looking all frusterated and go tell their friends what an ass i am or how rude i am that i cant give them their full undivided attention.
Then when that one girl finally has the patience to wait out my little stream of mixes until i let one song play out she says: do you take requests
me: no
her: ok well can you play sexy back coz what you're playing right now is really slow and my girls and i wanna dance because its my friends birthday (as Im playing about 120BPM)

I, at that point just look and laugh and go back to what i am doing. Most of this riduculous request shit is happening because everyone is too nice and accomidating to drunk ass people and now its like if i dont take 50 request per hour as the human jukebox im an asshole for trying to do my job.
I try to break it down to non djs like this. Lets say someone works in an office doing spreadsheats, imagine if some drunk ass dood walked into your office off the street and started leaning over you tapping you on the sholder ever 2 minutes, going... "no dont put a number in there, that number is all wrong, you are using the wrong equations..." while having no idea what they are even talking about. That would pretty much suck huh.

Well that is what is going on for us every night my friends... ITS TIME TO TAKE A STAND. people will only stop requesting stupid shit if you stop being so damn accomidating to everyone...
so do eveyone a favor and start ingnoring the folks that you know are gonna as some stupid ass question like:
can you play sexy back
can you play some hiphop

or my favorite:

wiil you play some GOOD music!
ral 6:42 PM - 18 September, 2006
Quote:
Lets say someone works in an office doing spreadsheats, imagine if some drunk ass dood walked into your office off the street and started leaning over you tapping you on the sholder ever 2 minutes, going... "no dont put a number in there, that number is all wrong, you are using the wrong equations..." while having no idea what they are even talking about. That would pretty much suck huh.


nice way of how to put things down



Quote:
Well that is what is going on for us every night my friends... ITS TIME TO TAKE A STAND. people will only stop requesting stupid shit if you stop being so damn accomidating to everyone...


remember customer service, customer is always rite

but you dont have to always agree with the customer

lets see..

- i'll see what i can do
- let me find that music if i have it

will do i guess..
grrillatactics 6:57 PM - 18 September, 2006
See this thread on the Z-Trip forum with a ton of great responses and stories to this same topic:

forums.djztrip.com

Good stuff in there. Including a few by me (I am particularly fond of my story about the sound guy who couldn't understand why I would need monitors).
monkeybiz 7:20 PM - 18 September, 2006
"Well what if I let you play my iPod?"
m0rph! 9:33 PM - 18 September, 2006
Quote:
dj solomon scribbled:
i've pretty much taken to ignoring everyone... i make em wait at least 5 min before they can talk to me.

Yeah dude, I didn't appreciate that last weekend @ Fluid.
Frickin prima donna DJs... ;-)
dj solomon 9:57 PM - 18 September, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
dj solomon scribbled:
i've pretty much taken to ignoring everyone... i make em wait at least 5 min before they can talk to me.

Yeah dude, I didn't appreciate that last weekend @ Fluid.
Frickin prima donna DJs... ;-)


HA HA HA HA HA.. nice one
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 11:13 PM - 18 September, 2006
i paid my dang $5 cover charge at tha door.... now play my dang Doo Wop !!!!!!

and don't let me catch you calling me "Son" ok Sir, or i'll kick your hard drive between tha ball bearings!!
DJ MAC com au 12:09 AM - 19 September, 2006
This thread is cracking me up! It seems that club patrons all around the world have the same dumb ass questions . . . lol

I worked for this promoter for a couple of years that would have a few drinks and then for the rest of the night would come up and request songs that I was actually playing at the time. It was like he would hear the track and that would remind him that he liked it and then he would come and request it. At the start I used to argue with him trying to explain that the track he was asking for was actually playing right now . . . eventually I realised to just telling him "no problem, coming up soon!" Lol

My other favourite is when you get a girl come up and say "I heard you play *insert random track here* but I was in the bathroom, can you play it again now?" (2 mins after I just played it).

My standard response to all these dumb requests is "Sorry I don't have it, but I'll bring it for you next week!" They go away happy and they're always too drunk to remember next week!

Mac
dj trends 12:44 AM - 19 September, 2006
When people ask for shit i dont want to play i always say i dont have it... strangely when they ask for shit that i dont have i always say i have it.. My favorite is after a couple "i dont have that's" they respond with "what do you have?" like i have 45 minutes to list off the 4,000 songs in my computer.
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 1:01 AM - 19 September, 2006
necessity is the mother of invention.

seems like this is one of the main pet peeves that most DJs suffer from.

i wonder if someone has already invented a stand alone hand held device that you can attach a cable lock to so u can carry around from gig to gig. a device that folks who have the itch to request, can view. this device will be wireless/bluetooth, that lists the songs in your arsenal....categorized. also will keep track of what you just played, how many times u played, and the next time u plan to play.
joerockets 1:57 AM - 19 September, 2006
people will use it to try and download porn
JayB1200 2:09 AM - 19 September, 2006
it was the end of the night and i was playin the last song, this chick comes up to me and asks if i can play some bachata and i told her this is the last song of the night and she says, please play one song for me ill let you take me home with you...
i told her come home with me and ill play bachata all night for you at the crib. :-)
Kool DJ Sheak One 2:23 AM - 19 September, 2006
Bachata fuck up!
craigg 3:35 AM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
We need to make t-shirts with some of these quotes. Shit is comedy.


Wildest I ever had was a girl coming into the DJ booth and telling me she had enough room to kneel down under my console. The shirt will read "You have enough room to go down" (arrow pointing southward!)
craigg 3:50 AM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
Weddings suck! You got two sides of the family telling you different things.
My favorite wedding quote"Do you like this shit?...Well nobody here likes this shit!"(comin from an 80 year old).


A suggestion my friend... TURN THE SPEAKERS UP AS LOUD AS YOU CAN! He'll leave. lol
DJ Daffy 4:50 AM - 19 September, 2006
These are 3 of my favorites....

Girl: Can you play something different?
Me: Ok, what do you want me to play?
Girl: I don't know, just not this...something different.

or...

Dude: Bro, do you have the new track by "Insert local street rapper name"
Me: No I don't think I have it.
Dude: If I get the cd out of my car can you play it?
Me: Ummm no.

Lastly, we have all heard this I don't care where you dj at...

Girl: Can you play song #8 from the Pussycat Doll CD? (Insert any track number and any artist on this one)
Me: I only have track #2 will that work? (I make up any track number since I have no fu*#ing clue what song track number 8 or 2 are)

Of course if the girl is hot I might humor her through some of these answers and actually try and play what she wants. Unless it's too much work and she's that dumb then I just give up and go back to mixing. HaHa...
MusicMeister 2:34 PM - 19 September, 2006
Drunk patron: Can you play <insert artist here>?
(note: the artist is CURRENTLY playing)
DJ: Uh, that's what I'm playing...
Drunk patron: Yea, but not this song.


Patron: Can you play this (handing me a burned CD)? It's a super secret underground release of (insert well-known dead rapper's name here) that's super hot. The DJ last night played it!

Me: I'll see if I can work it in. (I listen to a couple tracks - it's ok, but not remotely danceable!).

Patron (comes up a couple time while I'm searching through the tracks to find 'something' I can play off this stupid disk): You gonna play that?

Me: I thought you said there were some good tracks on the CD!

I then sat the CD on the floor, rubbed it back and forth with my foot, and told him it was scratched up the next time he came up. Ok, I didn't rub it on the floor, but I sure as hell wanted to...
s42000 3:09 PM - 19 September, 2006
Her: Please please can you play ja rule ?
Me: *Nods head yeah yeah*

30 minutes later

Her: Please, I've been waiting for a while now ... If you play
it immediately I will let you eat my ***sy
Me: What did you say ?
Her: It tastes real good, that's what everyone says. You will not
regret it
Me: Sorry, I do not eat meat.
grrillatactics 3:31 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:

Her: Please, I've been waiting for a while now ... If you play
it immediately I will let you eat my ***sy
Me: What did you say ?
Her: It tastes real good, that's what everyone says. You will not
regret it
Me: Sorry, I do not eat meat.



LOL. Sounds like you have the bad end of that deal all the way around. She gets the song of her choice and a big "O"; you have to play some crap tune and you have to eat bad sushi...
dj kiss 3:45 PM - 19 September, 2006
(Gangsta Girl) Can you play that new mike jones track?
(me) which one?
(Gangsta Girl) you know that new one were he says his name is Mike Jones?


WTF?????
DJ Bombjack 4:02 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
remember customer service, customer is always rite

but you dont have to always agree with the customer


Nope. The person who signs your check is always right. Lesson #1.
ral 5:08 PM - 19 September, 2006
customer = the one who's signin the check
DJ Stuart (AR) 5:40 PM - 19 September, 2006
Drunk girl: "Can you play "Hips don't lie"?
Me: "I don't have it"
Drunk girl: "I see your laptop over there, download the damn song!"
Me: "Security!!!"

www.djstuart.com.ar
scotty B 5:52 PM - 19 September, 2006
I have a good one for the hip hop heads from this past weekend.
This Tatted up "bro looking guy comes up to me tryin to get my attention while am Juggling the Intro to "Still Dirrty" from Christina Aguilara... I ignore him until I let the song play, and have the next inst cued up. I ask what up? He says "Bro Do you have any real good Beats? Some dope Hip Hop" LOL.. I say ya give me a bit..All while thinking to myself this track is produced by DJ Premier!!! It doesnt get much better! Maybe he was thinking Lil Jon!
theJAV 5:58 PM - 19 September, 2006
I DJ'ed this housewarming party at my homegirl's house in Baltimore County this past Sat. night. While I was in the middle of an old-school dancehall reggae set, this big ass dude in a black fitted hat and all-black tee comes BEHIND the table i had my set up on, puts his arm around me like we're brothers or somethin, and was like "Yo man, you got any YO GOTTI?" . .I was like, "Um......NO" He responded, "Man you gotta play some GANGSTA SH*T up in here man, I'm tellin you! You play some gangsta sh*t like "Money in the Bank (Lil Scrappy/Young Buck)" right now, and this party will be jumpin man!"
Meanwhile, every girl AT the party was on the dance floor at the time . . . .

What's up with dudes at house parties tryin' to hear all that gangsta rap when as SOON as u play like 3 of those songs, all the females will dissipate from the dance floor and proceed to go smoke cigarettes or get another drink???

myspace.com
Kool DJ Sheak One 6:00 PM - 19 September, 2006
Broads Bluff with the promises.(if eating sweaty cooch is a reward). I have had the "If you play________, I will take my top off!!"
Aiight, Boom!...
"Yo, where them titties at?"
Dont believe the hype.
Chicks need to get naked regardless of what song is playing.
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 6:01 PM - 19 September, 2006
this thread is like reading the Sunday comic strip :)

any cartoonists here?
s42000 6:28 PM - 19 September, 2006
In a club before opening; only people in club manager and bartenders. Security had not even arrived.

Manager comes running from office
Manager: Can you change the music ?
Me: *stares blankly at him wondering what was up his crack*
Manager: Can you play something that people can dance to ?
Me *looks around* What people ?

I knew it was going to be difficult to deal with this moron for the rest of the night. I just packed up and left.
When I was packing my stuff, the guy was literaly crying and begging me not to leave. He got fired a month later.
craigg 7:01 PM - 19 September, 2006
hot blonde-haired girl: "Can you play I want to fuck you like an animal?"
what we should all hear from this question:
hot blonde-haired girl: "Can you **** * **** ** fuck *** like an animal?"
me: "Let's go."
djskeetz 7:10 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
(Gangsta Girl) Can you play that new mike jones track?
(me) which one?
(Gangsta Girl) you know that new one were he says his name is Mike Jones?


WTF?????



Hilarious!
djskeetz 7:10 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
Drunk girl: "Can you play "Hips don't lie"?
Me: "I don't have it"
Drunk girl: "I see your laptop over there, download the damn song!"
Me: "Security!!!"

www.djstuart.com.ar


Just as good!!
matt212 7:34 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
"Yo man, you got any YO GOTTI?" . .I was like, "Um......NO" He responded, "Man you gotta play some GANGSTA SH*T up in here man, I'm tellin you! You play some gangsta sh*t like "Money in the Bank (Lil Scrappy/Young Buck)" right now, and this party will be jumpin man!"
Meanwhile, every girl AT the party was on the dance floor at the time . . . .

What's up with dudes at house parties tryin' to hear all that gangsta rap when as SOON as u play like 3 of those songs, all the females will dissipate from the dance floor and proceed to go smoke cigarettes or get another drink???

myspace.com


True, true indeed. Same thing here, dude asked me if I had some Yo Gotti, but I only had the clean version at the time. I just told him, nope, ain't got it.

I have realised dudes rather dance with each other than to dance with the girls. When the girls are on the floor (Beyonce playing), the dudes are standing on the wall. Play some Jeezy or Yo Gotti, dudes run to the floor and bounce in each other faces all night long. I just don't get it.
DJ Bombjack 7:37 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
customer = the one who's signin the check

So not true. Dude if you're letting customers decide what you play then you're f&*ked.
s42000 7:55 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
I have realised dudes rather dance with each other than to dance with the girls. When the girls are on the floor (Beyonce playing), the dudes are standing on the wall. Play some Jeezy or Yo Gotti, dudes run to the floor and bounce in each other faces all night long. I just don't get it.


It's all becoming Brokeback .... freaking metro sexuals ..
DeezNotes 7:57 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
customer = the one who's signin the check

So not true. Dude if you're letting customers decide what you play then you're f&*ked.


If it's a wedding or special event, then they decide. If it's a club, it's MY PARTY! Everyone else is just invited to join in.
DeezNotes 7:58 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
Broads Bluff with the promises.(if eating sweaty cooch is a reward). I have had the "If you play________, I will take my top off!!"
Aiight, Boom!...
"Yo, where them titties at?"
Dont believe the hype.
Chicks need to get naked regardless of what song is playing.


Come on man... you should know to see the tits BEFORE you play the song.
Kool DJ Sheak One 7:59 PM - 19 September, 2006
If owner of club wants "The Hustle"
I will mix it into "Its going down"
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 8:05 PM - 19 September, 2006
S, what exactly were u playin (or whas it complete silence n homie was trippin...hearin wack beats outta thin air)
DJ Bombjack 8:08 PM - 19 September, 2006
Yes, I agree. Private parties/events, the check signer has the last say about the music. In fact I always tell them beforehand that the only person who can comment on the direction of the music is them (the check-signer). It keeps life simple and keeps those never-satisfied moaners away.

Club nights are kinda the same, except it would come down to eithe the owner or promoter. The worst scenario is when they don't agree and you're caught in the middle. It's happened a few times to me, in the end all you can do is tell them to talk to each other.
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 8:10 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
S, what exactly were u playin (or whas it complete silence n homie was trippin...hearin wack beats outta thin air)
S as in S24k
Kool DJ Sheak One 8:16 PM - 19 September, 2006
titties first, then song.
Got it!
grrillatactics 8:27 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:

Chicks need to get naked regardless of what song is playing.


Truth.
s42000 8:47 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
S, what exactly were u playin (or whas it complete silence n homie was trippin...hearin wack beats outta thin air)
S as in S24k


I was playing some late 80's freestyle ... just warming up, it had been a while since I was out and my boy was familiarizing with the lighting system.
mightyjunebugg 8:59 PM - 19 September, 2006
girl: "Can you play some Hip Hop like Brittany Spears or something"


me: (speechless) *blink blink*
DJ Nevoc 9:15 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
These are 3 of my favorites....

Dude: Bro, do you have the new track by "Insert local street rapper name"
Me: No I don't think I have it.
Dude: If I get the cd out of my car can you play it?
Me: Ummm no.



I get this all the time down in Alabama, because of the way Im setup I can play CDs with a couple button presses, however I don't let them know that and simply tell them I can't play regular CDs, only Serato CDs.
DJ Nevoc 9:18 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
Drunk girl: "Can you play "Hips don't lie"?
Me: "I don't have it"
Drunk girl: "I see your laptop over there, download the damn song!"
Me: "Security!!!"

www.djstuart.com.ar


oh my god, LOL!!!
monkeybiz 10:29 PM - 19 September, 2006
Quote:
...because of the way Im setup I can play CDs with a couple button presses, however I don't let them know that and simply tell them I can't play regular CDs, only Serato CDs.


Dude, that's brilliant!
gmobley 10:55 PM - 19 September, 2006
here's a few:

drunk girls: can you play "whatever the song was"
me: sure
drunk girls: can you play it next?
me: no
drunk girls: you suck
me: that's not helping you get your song played any faster
drunk girls: yeah but we love you

--------

song playing: sexyback
floor status: packed
girl: can you play something we can dance to
me: (confused, pointing to the floor) I think I am, looks like a lot of people are dancing
girl: yeah, badly

--------

girl: when are you going to play Don't Cha, I've been asking all night
me: soon
girl: (won't go away) (won't go away) (won't go away) (just standing there)
me: mix in next song, beat is playing, I fold my arms and look her dead in the eye, lyrics come in (move bitch get out the way, get out the way bitch get out the way)

Luckily, this girl had a sense of humor and didn't smack me.
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 11:06 PM - 19 September, 2006
don't u just love it when they do that =

(won't go away) (won't go away) (won't go away) (just standing there)

gosh, since your standing here...can u help me ward off the future requestors (extra layer of human body shield :)
dj trends 11:13 PM - 19 September, 2006
I've gotten, "I will suck your dick if you play Lil Kim." But i think that chick just walks around clubs telling everyone she'll suck their dick for everything from free admission to free drinks. I aint falling for that shit.

Back when i was still on vinyl the new Game CD got leaked on one particular day. The next night some asked me to play "dreams". 1. its slow as hell, 2. the song comes out in 2 weeks.
dj trends 11:55 PM - 19 September, 2006
I got 2 much too say... The worst shit ever is when you are doing your warm up set. throwings back drinks, auto-pilot, talkin to the female bartender, etc... The some loser ass who parties once a year comes out at 10:09 while the club gets packed at 11:45. Then they come to the booth and say, can you play "shakira, justin timberlake, beyonce, young joc.. etc... right now!!"
Dj Ryme 12:02 AM - 20 September, 2006
Ex girlfriend: blah blah blah blah blah

Me: plays bitches aint shit but ho's and tricks and points at her the whole time.

(true story)
ACME 1:25 AM - 20 September, 2006
Quote:
wiil you play some GOOD music!


or BETTER music
Julls 1:27 AM - 20 September, 2006
Or...can you play something we can dance to, while the dance floor is packed. Hahaha gets me everytime!
DJ MAC com au 1:35 AM - 20 September, 2006
The other one that gets me from time to time is I'm playing in a hip-hop club, place is goin off and I see this chick sitting down for like an hour, then she comes up and says:

Chick: "Are you going to play some dance music?"
Me: "No"
Chick: "Why Not?"
Me: "This is a Hip-Hop club, sorry but I think you're in the wrong place!"
Chick: *Walks back to her seat and sits down and pouts until the club closes*

WTF - why didn't she just leave and take her a$$ to a dance club??? *shakes head*
Dj Ace 6:06 AM - 20 September, 2006
This thread is too funny and real...but fellow DJ's we need to do something about this. How about we all carry around a please read this before you talk to the DJ sign?

It could be sort of like...

Your DJ is spinning with Serato. Serato is a state of the art highly technical piece of software for realtime mixing.

Rules for requesting songs:

1. Dont talk to me if I look busy.
2. I might or might not play your request so dont push.
3. If you dont like how i am playing leave and/or dont come back, this is not the club for you.
4. Dance to the music being played before you ask for another song.
5. No...I dont have a pen and I dont know were the bathroom is. :)
6. Yes...I am the DJ!
7. If you waste that drink on my equipment I will waste you!
8. Decide how bad you want to hear the song and how much you willing to pay for your request in advance.
9. If you use profanity so will I...
10. And one last thing...if you waste that drink REMEMBER I WILL WASTE YOU!

Thank you for approaching the DJ...and I hope your Club/Party Experience is not ruined cause i would not play that song! Have a great evening.

sincerly,
DJ ACE
djfourmoney 7:37 AM - 20 September, 2006
I joined just to get my cracks in -

I have been asked every possible tired question. Nobody is ever happy.

Stopped doing weddings a long time ago. Its not worth my time anymore, unless know the the bride/groom personally and I know we're going to throwdown later.

Large clubs are the ONLY answer, they can't reach you to ask you dumb ass questions.

Here some of my favorites -

Some White Guy: "Do you have something other than this rap shhh??"

Me: "Like?"

SWG: "Pantera?"

Me: "You can't be serious?"

SWG: "Why not?"

Me: "Do I look like I would have some Pantera in my crate?" "Playing that shhh would ruin the vibe in here, you can't come to house parties and just request any old thing and expect it to get played..."

SWG: (walking away) "My this DJ sucks..."

Me and the crew - LAUGHIN


I've never been offered any booty or anything like that, but I do get the usual "female request from space".

"Do you have somethin other than this?"

"Do you have (insert current overplayed Top 40 shhh)?"

Here's the best one -

"Can you play Doo-Doo Brown?"

So I cue up "Doo Doo Brown" by Two Brothers and a Dog

They come runnin back

Girl - "Hey I thought you were going to play that Doo Doo Brown song?"

Me - "Its playing..."

Girl - "Not this one!"

What she/they really wanted to hear was "I Wanna Rock" by Luke

In those cases I always play dumb, at least know the daym song you wanna hear before you come to me askin for it...

I usually ignore most of it now.
DJTonyC 12:22 PM - 20 September, 2006
I've heard all of these and then some in my years at the clubs. But the most recent one really stands out. This girls comes to the DJ booth and asks me to play this song she's about to sing. She proceeds to cover my right ear and partially plug my left ear while starting to sing the request into my left ear about two inches away. Needless to say I had no idea what song she was talking about because her voice was terrible (and I couldn't hear) and the whole time I'm thinking how much easier it woulda been if she just asked me to play the song by title. Some peoples children.
DJ Nevoc 2:47 PM - 20 September, 2006
A couple months ago I was still using headphones, and this girl comes up and starts talking...

Girl: blah blah blah,

Anyway I say just a sec throw the headphones on and start mixing.

She pulls off my headphones and yells,

Girl: Your so fuckin rude I was trying to ask you something.

Me: Security!!
DJ Nevoc 2:49 PM - 20 September, 2006
Can I get a F*ckin Trunk Monkey in the booth, a Booth Monkey if you will?

Watchwww.youtube.com
Dj Chinn 4:32 PM - 20 September, 2006
I was djing last week at my buddy's bar and this is wha tthe girl said....

Girl--Wow whats you name

Me- Chinn

Girl-- Your fingers move so fast, I love it

Me-- haha Thanks

Girl- Can you take me back to your place and us them!!!

God i love being a DJ!!!
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 4:41 PM - 20 September, 2006
Quote:
Can I get a F*ckin Trunk Monkey in the booth, a Booth Monkey if you will?

Watchwww.youtube.com


my kids get a kick outta this one Watchwww.youtube.com
punosion 4:52 PM - 20 September, 2006
Quote:
6. Yes...I am the DJ!


Dj Ace, I'll have to sneak one in here for you:

7. No...I am NOT a bartender!
punosion 4:55 PM - 20 September, 2006
Quote:
A couple months ago I was still using headphones, and this girl comes up and starts talking...

Girl: blah blah blah,

Anyway I say just a sec throw the headphones on and start mixing.

She pulls off my headphones and yells,

Girl: Your so fuckin rude I was trying to ask you something.

Me: Security!!


Gah, fuck that...if you don't do the mix, THE MUSIC WILL STOP. WHY don't people get that??
DJ Nevoc 7:22 PM - 20 September, 2006
LOL I dont get it either, I honestly think people havent a f*ckin clue what happens in a DJ Booth.
Sexor 4:07 AM - 21 September, 2006
I have had fights break out right in front of my turntables, that is creepy as hell. You begin to think "I really should have brought some extra needles... and a helmet"

However, the worst I have ever witnessed was actually when I was not djing myself. It was in high school, and some girl wanted to perform a song, so she gave the dj a cd with the song on it. Then she expected the poor guy to be able to remove the vocal from the track. She started singing, and guess what, the original vocal was still in the track. So she started yelling at the dj: "turn down the vocal so I can sing here!" through the microphone. She got really mad, and about 2 min into the song she SCREAMED into the microphone "i cant sing when the f"#king vocal is still in the track!!" and rushed off the stage.
Kool DJ Sheak One 5:02 AM - 21 September, 2006
Was she from the future where you can do that stufF?
MusicMeister 5:02 AM - 21 September, 2006
Quote:
Can I get a F*ckin Trunk Monkey in the booth, a Booth Monkey if you will?


Hell yes! I wanna booth monkey!

Here's nearly all of the trunk monkey commercials in a single clip...
Watchwww.youtube.com

Can't wait for the 'booth monkey' version!
ejayian 5:28 AM - 21 September, 2006
Quote:
I have had fights break out right in front of my turntables, that is creepy as hell. You begin to think "I really should have brought some extra needles... and a helmet"

However, the worst I have ever witnessed was actually when I was not djing myself. It was in high school, and some girl wanted to perform a song, so she gave the dj a cd with the song on it. Then she expected the poor guy to be able to remove the vocal from the track. She started singing, and guess what, the original vocal was still in the track. So she started yelling at the dj: "turn down the vocal so I can sing here!" through the microphone. She got really mad, and about 2 min into the song she SCREAMED into the microphone "i cant sing when the f"#king vocal is still in the track!!" and rushed off the stage.


Yeah fuck that crap, if your gonna sing bring your own instrumentals biatch!
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 9:17 AM - 21 September, 2006
Quote:
I have had fights break out right in front of my turntables, that is creepy as hell. You begin to think "I really should have brought some extra needles... and a helmet"

However, the worst I have ever witnessed was actually when I was not djing myself. It was in high school, and some girl wanted to perform a song, so she gave the dj a cd with the song on it. Then she expected the poor guy to be able to remove the vocal from the track. She started singing, and guess what, the original vocal was still in the track. So she started yelling at the dj: "turn down the vocal so I can sing here!" through the microphone. She got really mad, and about 2 min into the song she SCREAMED into the microphone "i cant sing when the f"#king vocal is still in the track!!" and rushed off the stage.


ha ha!

that vid woulda done great on AMF videos :) .... or youtube!

man, i feel sorry for that dj :(
nik39 11:11 AM - 21 September, 2006
Quote:
" No You fucking have that song i know it... now play it, "


Hilarious!
Or "You call yourself a DJ and you don't have __________ song?"

Word. I hate that one. Esp. if they are starting off with "dont you have the rmx xyz from abc? I have that for almost half a year, and you dont have that?". Yeah, that track is some rubbish "mashup" some idiot did, which sounds awfull from the beginning to the end. Plus you jerk downloaded this from some p2p crap now you wanna front?!
KONUPE 12:12 PM - 21 September, 2006
Ok so im djing this past weekend at my fraternites can drive party... towards the end of the night I always play a old school r&b set..

2 things happen first this hard ass dude komes up to me and says " Yo dog DJ do you got any hot shit? this stuff your playing is wack no one is dancing? (mind you all the girls are singning along to the to the old skool hits and are loving it and dudes are doin they mj and etc) Then he says " Dog you should put on that joint Ice Kream By Raekwon that will really set the party off" Im like uhhh are you serious? He says " Yeah that will set it off I promise you" Im like ok i'll be sure to play it ( Yeah RIGHT!)

2nd. Girls get on my nerves when they kome up to me and ask me to play a song i already played earlier in the night. And the reason why they want to hear it is bekause they werent there when i played the song. Mind you the party starts at 10 they dont get there till 12:30. for example Girl: " kan you play young joc its goin down" Me: I already played it sorry. Girl "Kome on i wasnt here kan you do it for me i'll love you forever? Me: Sorry I have a girlfriend
DJ Nevoc 1:25 PM - 21 September, 2006
Quote:
...about 2 min into the song she SCREAMED into the microphone "i cant sing when the f"#king vocal is still in the track!!" and rushed off the stage.



Wait this wasnt Ashley Simpson was it?
matt212 1:49 PM - 21 September, 2006
For the hip hop heads...Do you ever get this?

Dude: Do you have "100 Grand" by Yung Juc?
Me: (Thinking, I never seen that song on the track listing of his cd) I don't know man, lemme check.
Dude: Okay.

So I check SSL, and nothing even close resembled it. I like to think that I'm most current will all new, hot hits, but this is killing me that I don't have it. Then dude comes back.

Dude: You gonna play it.
Me: Where did you hear that song at?
Dude: It was on some freestyle mixtape.
Me: (pissed off) Get the F#ck outta here, and don't ask me to play s*it else for the rest of the night.

I barely listen to mixtapes with nothing but freestyles, let alone have them in SSL to play at a party.

Second...
Somebody asks you if you have a certain song by a certain artist, and you know you have it but you don't want to play it yet. Then act dumb like, who is it by? how does it go? For some reason, the people I deal with like to challenge the DJ. They get some kind of enjoyment if the heard a song before the DJ. Anyway, dude starts smilling like, "You don't have that song?" Then goes back to his boys and say, "The DJ don't have it, smiling and laughing." Three song later, I play the song he was talking about and point straight to him, grab the mic and say, "Thought I didn't have it huh? I had this 4 months ago, you late. Now dude is looking stupid in the face and his boys are clowning him.

Priceless.
JSoul556 4:42 PM - 21 September, 2006
Here are my two stories...

I did a sub gig this past summer at this bar/lounge in a hotel for a friend of mine. So the first night went cool and on the second night I'm there, the bartenders and hotel staff start telling me about the owner of the hotel. He's some old crotchety man who HATES anything released after the Sinatra era. So they tell me he's in the building and to play some low key stuff. Before I have a chance to put the song on ("Kiss" by Prince was playing at the time), he all of a sudden appears in the DJ booth.

Owner: Hi, my name is [insert any ancient name here] and I own this hotel.

Me: Hi, how ya doin.

Owner: Who do you work for?

Me: Caroll Higgins.

Owner: What kind of music do you play?

Me: I usually play a mix of 70's, 80's and some current stuff (I usually play strictly Hip Hop, R&B and Top 40 but I had an older crowd at this bar).

Owner: Well make sure you play some 40's, 50's and 60's because I'm not gonna have you in here playing this shit all night long (mind you, Prince was still playing).

Me: Yes sir!

I basically laughed it off because it was funny that this 147 year old artifact just cussed at me. He eventually went upstairs to his room, took his medication and went to sleep. It was 8:30pm...way past his bedtime. The next song I played: "Brick House."

---------------------------------------------------

I saved the best for last...

I used to DJ at this club called Jitterbugs in a small town in East Texas called Nacogdoches, about 2 hours North of Houston. This club normally plays Country music, but with the University there they had a high demand for Hip Hop. So they brought me in for College Night on Thursdays.

One particular night, these two hicks come up to the DJ booth while I'm up there with the guy who runs lights who was also a hick but a cool one.

Hick: Hey, when y'all gon' play some Country music?

Me: In just a little while I'll get some on for you. Anything you wanna hear?

Hick: Anything but this.

Me: Ok, I'll see what I can do.

....5 minutes later...

Hick: I thought you sed you wuz gon' play some Country music!

Me: I did and I will, you have to be patient though.

Hick: Fuck patience, this is pissin me off! Nobody wants to hear this Hippity Hop shit...we came here ta hear some Country music.

Me: (turning to the lights guy who saw the fire in my eyes and looked petrified) Sean, you better come get ya boy.

So 10 minutes later when I *FINALLY* decided to play some Country music, I get the next song ready and turn on the mic. As soon as "Yeah" by Usher ends I get on the mic and said the following:

"I've had some people coming up to me tonight shitting on Hip Hop because they wanna hear Country music. I'm up here doing my job the best way I know how to do and I'm doing what I'm paid to do. You don't see me coming to your job kickin' dicks out of your mouth, do you?"

As the patrons collectively gasp and say "oooooooooooooo" I close out my rant by saying "I'm J. Soul, bitch!" and press play on George Strait. LOL

That statement not only got me mad respect at that club, but was a running joke and people I still talk to from that club still talk about it to this day. As for the hicks...they left not too long after I made that comment.
Dj Ryme 6:01 PM - 21 September, 2006
Shit was crazy last week at the club 2 times these girls came to request a song (kiss you back by digital underground and i forgot the other one) and I already had them loaded about to play them, I think im psychic or some shit, my girl was trippin like how the fuck did you know they were gonna request that.
djaction 6:33 PM - 21 September, 2006
wow. girls requesting digital underground.. you sure you don't spin in bizaro world?
Dj Ryme 6:52 PM - 21 September, 2006
Lol, I know huh. And the week before I had 2 white chicks request tribe.
Dj Ryme 6:53 PM - 21 September, 2006
Those are the request I rush to fill.
djaction 7:39 PM - 21 September, 2006
oh man your the same guy who had the 2 white chicks requesting tribe?? I heard about that. YOU ARE in bizarro world.
DJ Nevoc 7:47 PM - 21 September, 2006
lmao
Dj Ryme 8:46 PM - 21 September, 2006
ha ha, yeah dont worry the sexy back request outweight those request ALOT!
Dj KaGeN 9:08 PM - 21 September, 2006
House DJ's Ever get this one?

- "pla sa traz!"

-me- Huh? (as I start to turn and give this dude the not covered by a earmuff ear)

- "pla sa traz!"

-me- traz??

- "ya, ga traz"

-me- Oh, trance!?, ya sure...

- (eyes lighting up) "ya, traz!!"


So, I drop the well known 4 big-floor trance tunes and the little fucker appears again. I have a language barrier to deal with and the fact that he doesn't know what he is asking for...
Kool DJ Sheak One 9:11 PM - 21 September, 2006
I get people requesting "trance" at hip-hop spots.
They are in their own little trazzy world.
djskeetz 9:22 PM - 21 September, 2006
i was at this rave in oakland a few years back.....this little 13 year old asian kid dressed up like a tiger ran up to me and bear hugged me and said, "my name is pikkkkkkaaaachhuuuu", he was so permanently retarded from XTC....it made me really sad...i stopped going to raves after that...so fucking dirty. damn, poor kid.
brotha reese 9:34 PM - 21 September, 2006
I made a shirt in the front says in big letters shut up bitch i'm mixin and the back of the shirt says no request bitch! and the funny thing is when i do wear the shirt in the clubs, the customers laugh and then ask are you going to play Sexy Back?stupid bitches.lol
DJ Nevoc 9:40 PM - 21 September, 2006
lol
Dj Ryme 9:41 PM - 21 September, 2006
LOL, I used to have a shirt that said that but honestly I dont want to give the club/promoter a bad impression that im unaproachable, I used to wear it to house parties though. Chicks would come up and ALL my boys would point to my shirt, they would then walk away pissed lol.
DJ Nevoc 9:51 PM - 21 September, 2006
I still have this shirt I found @ journey's years ago, never been able to find it since.

It was Dark Navy Blue with 4 DJ logos and it says "I Don't Do Requests"
Kool DJ Sheak One 10:11 PM - 21 September, 2006
Well that settles it!
The market needs some fresh shirts!
So, we need like a top 5 illest phrases.
"Money=Me acknowledging your existence"
"Dj at work, Stay back 10 feet"
"I dont have that song"
"I can make you dance (If I want you to)"
"Sexy Crack"
punosion 10:23 PM - 21 September, 2006
Quote:
"I can make you dance (If I want you to)"


This just made me think...

You can dance if you want to...you can leave your friends behind...'cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're...no friends of mine...

Err, maybe not. ;)
Dj Ryme 10:43 PM - 21 September, 2006
How about "you want me to play what?"
monkeybiz 10:53 PM - 21 September, 2006
Funny how it's EVERYONE's birthday when it comes to making requests.

"Hi, OMG it's my 21st birthday and you have to play BexySack for me!"
"Hi, OMG, it's my birthday, can you play some Nickelback?"
"OMG it's my birthday and I want to hear Promiscuous!"
Dj Ryme 11:05 PM - 21 September, 2006
thats it! my shirt said on the front "no request" and on the back it said "i dont care if its your birthday". shit was classic.
sixxx 11:07 PM - 21 September, 2006
and then you say.. OMG is my birthday today and I ain't taking requests!
DJ Nevoc 11:18 PM - 21 September, 2006
lol How about:

"I Don't Take Requests!"

"On the other hand if you take off your
Shirt, I'll take off mine."
djskeetz 12:40 AM - 22 September, 2006
Quote:
I made a shirt in the front says in big letters shut up bitch i'm mixin and the back of the shirt says no request bitch! and the funny thing is when i do wear the shirt in the clubs, the customers laugh and then ask are you going to play Sexy Back?stupid bitches.lol


LOL you gave that shirt! hahah, im gonan wear it this weekend!
matt212 1:01 AM - 22 September, 2006
Quote:
How about "you want me to play what?"


I want that shirt with "no request bitches" on the back.
Dj Chinn 2:24 AM - 22 September, 2006
A couple of us have shirts that say "F*ck Your Request"
DJ FLATLINE 3:06 AM - 22 September, 2006
In Toronto, everybody thinks they're a DJ. I hate the fact that I'm clearly playing a song in the 90BPM range and I get a request to play "SEXYBACK" and they'll wait until you play it too. Pepole don't understand BPM range so I can't fault them for that. But for you to stand around and annoy me until you hear it is what pisses me off as a DJ. Toronto's reggae scene is HUGE and no matter where I play, I get the request to play reggae even though I wasn't hired for that. It's funny at first but it gets annoying after constantly hearing the samethings night in and out. Basically what that tells you is that people don't appreciate DJ's at all. All you need to have in crates are JT and Sean Paul records and you're good.... What's the point???

They don't know about the thousands of hours we spent practicing or the relentless pursuit of quality music that we have to deal with. When new music hits the mainstream market, we're laughing because we've had that song for months, even a year b4 (cassie - me and U)(i've had that song since march/april of 2005......it was released in germany and I though she was German at fist).
djmetaphysics 3:30 AM - 22 September, 2006
Quote:
i was at this rave in oakland a few years back.....this little 13 year old asian kid dressed up like a tiger ran up to me and bear hugged me and said, "my name is pikkkkkkaaaachhuuuu", he was so permanently retarded from XTC....it made me really sad...i stopped going to raves after that...so fucking dirty. damn, poor kid.

that ish is krazy skeets
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 4:30 AM - 22 September, 2006
i wanna shirt (that has this image www.moodz.net printed) to wear underneath my regular dress shirt, so when i get a request from the dimes, i just unbutton, and give em a peek & wink.

taken from a pretty funny tread www.scratchlive.net similar to this
double B 4:56 AM - 22 September, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
i was at this rave in oakland a few years back.....this little 13 year old asian kid dressed up like a tiger ran up to me and bear hugged me and said, "my name is pikkkkkkaaaachhuuuu", he was so permanently retarded from XTC....it made me really sad...i stopped going to raves after that...so fucking dirty. damn, poor kid.

that ish is krazy skeets


haha that reminds me yesterday @ school some asian kid/boy/kid was thizzin and wanted to beat some black dike and i was hella crackin up and he was all pissed " I WANNA F*CKIN BEAT HER A*&! " .... *friend trys to calm down* "NO I DONT GIVE A SH&*"... "IM GONNA KICK HER &%*"
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 5:28 AM - 22 September, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
"I can make you dance (If I want you to)"


This just made me think...

You can dance if you want to...you can leave your friends behind...'cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're...no friends of mine...

Err, maybe not. ;)
oh crap, now i can't get that tune outta my head... it's driving me crazy! i can't stop whistling it! ahhhhhh....

.... and i can't seem to get that 50cent song 'in da club (instr)' outta my head !!!! ahhhh

.... now there playing together in my head.... ahhhhh!! kinda like that reeses butter cup commercial!!!!

hmmmmmm...i wonder what that mashup would sound like?
DJ Nevoc 5:29 AM - 22 September, 2006
it doesnt you crack head!!!! J/K!!! AHHHH NOW ITS IN MY HEAD!
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 5:32 AM - 22 September, 2006
Quote:
House DJ's Ever get this one?

- "pla sa traz!"

-me- Huh? (as I start to turn and give this dude the not covered by a earmuff ear)

- "pla sa traz!"

-me- traz??

- "ya, ga traz"

-me- Oh, trance!?, ya sure...

- (eyes lighting up) "ya, traz!!"


So, I drop the well known 4 big-floor trance tunes and the little fucker appears again. I have a language barrier to deal with and the fact that he doesn't know what he is asking for...
this reminds me of my very first gig ever (80's house party) a gal rolls up and requests "McDonald's", in my head i was like "huh?"

.... then time passes by and i play "Holiday" by McDonna and the gal is in the middle of the garage dance floor waving at me with approval :)
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 6:04 AM - 22 September, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
Can I get a F*ckin Trunk Monkey in the booth, a Booth Monkey if you will?


Hell yes! I wanna booth monkey!

Here's nearly all of the trunk monkey commercials in a single clip...
Watchwww.youtube.com

Can't wait for the 'booth monkey' version!


ah, this would prob be a lil more costly than the booth monkey but should do the job --> Watchwww.youtube.com
Kool DJ Sheak One 9:02 PM - 22 September, 2006
McDonalds Greatest Hits!
"Like A Burger"
"Supersize"
"Ronald Don't Preach"
"Open Your Happy Meal To Me"
"Hey Mr. Drive Through Guy"
sG 9:42 PM - 22 September, 2006
Last night I got....

"Yo, can you give me 2 minutes on the mic?"

"Um... why?"

"I'm a Jewish rapper. I'm pretty famous among my Jewish friends."

"Probably not."

"C'mon. I'm famous among my Jewish friends."

"No."
Dj Ryme 9:56 PM - 22 September, 2006
Last night.

Drunk asian chick: "do you have a mic so I can say happy birthday to my friend"

Me: NO! and ill play sexy back in a minute.
m0rph! 10:01 PM - 22 September, 2006
I'm workin the decks at this sushi joint. Nothing crazy, just some cool beats to people can nod their heads and get their sushi on. Guy comes up to the DJ booth, stares at me, at my setup, looks all around me...

Me: Yo, what's crackin?
Him: Nothin bro. I like your setup!
Me: Cool. Thanks!
Him: ...
Me: ...
Him: So, I'm going to see Gunz & Roses tonight. You got any drugs?
Me: ...
Dj Ryme 10:03 PM - 22 September, 2006
wtf????
he must have already been on drugs.
Kool DJ Sheak One 10:03 PM - 22 September, 2006
"Im Jewish among my famous asian friends."

Whats with everybody tryin to rock the mic?
I've had a dude insist I had a mic when I didnt.
"Dude, its my friends birthday dude! I just want to say Happy Birthday. I know you have a mic dude"
Dj Ryme 10:05 PM - 22 September, 2006
some lil gangster mexican guy came up and threw a 20 in my hand and told me to play some "gangsta shit like daz" while the dancefloor is packed with white chicks rockin out to some rock and 80's I was droppin. I said sure and plyed daz, as the very last song ;P
DJ Stuart (AR) 10:59 PM - 22 September, 2006
"You got any drugs?"...
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

www.djstuart.com.ar
soon-2-be-ex-FS2user 12:08 AM - 23 September, 2006
is its somesones telling it to me for not to playings with it mineselves
double B 12:55 AM - 23 September, 2006
LOL that is pretty cool
Julls 1:48 AM - 23 September, 2006
Quote:
"Im Jewish among my famous asian friends."

Whats with everybody tryin to rock the mic?
I've had a dude insist I had a mic when I didnt.
"Dude, its my friends birthday dude! I just want to say Happy Birthday. I know you have a mic dude"


If you spin with headphones then you "ALWAYS" have a mic.
Julls 1:49 AM - 23 September, 2006
Just plug your headphones into your mic input...and shazzzzam! Instant mic!
Kool DJ Sheak One 2:26 AM - 23 September, 2006
But drunk dude dont know that.
SUBSTANCE 5:07 AM - 24 September, 2006
1.
There's always some stupid bitch with 3 CD singles in her collection trying to decide the music for everyone else...
She usually asks for 'some Hip Hop like Pussy Cat Dolls' - it would be funny if it wasn't so sad.

2.
<4/4 House music playing>
Punter: 'How do you dance to this? (points up to 'the music')
Me: I'm give the 'fuck off' look thinking they're being a wise-ass but no...
Me: 'oh shit, you're serious. um, just dance to what's happening in the music?'
Punter: (thinking) (thinking) (thinking)... "Ok!" (proceeds to take pills and dance like a twat for the next three years of their lives)

3.
<Gangstarr playing>
'Yo, let me see the mic - let me buss a freestyle'
Me: No problems MC No-name, I'm sure your closet flow will blend seamlessly into Guru.

4.
'Can I have a scratch / mix?'
...and then act all surprised and shit when I say nah.
SUBSTANCE 5:20 AM - 24 September, 2006
OR...

Hey can you come and play at my mates party, you'll have to bring all your turntables and music, don't worry about speakers (the venue has them)...


1. The venue is a cafe with clock radio speakers that have played Norah Jones, Moby and St Germain for the past five years. Any bass you put through them will crack them immediately.

2. Dude is paying a pittance (even if you weren't bringing all your gear) AND says on the day of the party 'Can I pay you next week, dude?'

3. you are expected to play from like 7 to 3, even though the party will probably suck balls...

True story. I suggested that he might be better off bringing some CDs to play on the cafe mini system. He reluctantly saw reason.
fuckin clownshoes... ha ha...
phil 6:12 AM - 24 September, 2006
"What's that?"

"Scratch Live"

"What is it for?"

"Long story...."

"Can i try it out?"

"Don't touch it"
DJ Stuart (AR) 7:13 AM - 24 September, 2006
"Excuse me, do you mind if check my e-mail on your laptop?"
"F**k off"

www.djstuart.com.ar
ekalb 7:38 AM - 24 September, 2006
"Excuse me, do you mind if check my e-mail on your laptop?"
"F**k off"


Ain't That Some Shit!!!
i was ask that to
KONUPE 4:30 PM - 24 September, 2006
Girl: Why are you using a komputer to DJ?

Me: You Wouldnt Understand.
DJ Nevoc 5:29 PM - 24 September, 2006
him: Dude you dont remember me do you? Thats F*cked up.

Me: I meet alot of people where do I know you from?

him: Man Me and my boys were hollern @ u by your house.

Me: (Thinking OMG not this guy who sits on the corner all day with his boys trying to freestyle.) "Big Smile" Oh yea hey how you doing.

him: Yo Bro you gotz to let me hit the mic.

Our Mic hangs in the both, like a boxing right mic.

Me: "Unplugs the Mic" Sorry it just broke!
dj solomon 7:07 PM - 24 September, 2006
Quote:
I'm workin the decks at this sushi joint. Nothing crazy, just some cool beats to people can nod their heads and get their sushi on. Guy comes up to the DJ booth, stares at me, at my setup, looks all around me...

Me: Yo, what's crackin?
Him: Nothin bro. I like your setup!
Me: Cool. Thanks!
Him: ...
Me: ...
Him: So, I'm going to see Gunz & Roses tonight. You got any drugs?
Me: ...


I didnt know they did drugs at MAS SAKE?
; )
DJJOHNNYM 11:17 PM - 24 September, 2006
Wow! Are those ALBUMS? You're a REAL DJ....Lol..

It's like I went out of style, and then came back, and never even knew it....
DJ_CARY 5:33 AM - 25 September, 2006
" EXCUSE ME!!.................I'm the DJ! WHo are you? "
Kool DJ Sheak One 2:03 AM - 28 September, 2006
Last night I was djing and I get the mid 40s bald white dude hit me up for some 2pac. So I play a 2pac song thinking everything will be alright. About a half hour later, dude comes up and says"do you have any 2pac?"
I said"I played 2pac already,do you have any other ideas?"
He said"No, I only like 2pac"

Damn, people are strange.
dj2coolc 3:18 AM - 28 September, 2006
Quote:
"What's that?"

"Scratch Live"

"What is it for?"

"Long story...."

"Can i try it out?"

"Don't touch it"


Fu*kin CLASSIC!!!
sweetL 11:33 AM - 28 September, 2006
from saturday just past:

bloke 1 "whats that laptop for"

my mate "its got all his tunes on it"

bloke 1 "is it mixing for him?"

my mate "no it just makes carrying records easier, he can scratch with it, everything, you wouldnt know"

bloke 2 (mate of bloke 1) "whats it for?"

bloke 1 "its mixing for him"

.....30 seconds later...

*crowd hyping and jumping around like crazy to shy fx - original nutter*

bloke 1 "turn off this rubbish its killing the party"

2 minutes later

bloke 1 "you should play that tune that goes 'i am a nutter, mad mad mad nutter'"

the dude was not drunk, i was completely bemused.
Kool DJ Sheak One 5:16 PM - 28 September, 2006
Bloody Blokes think they know everything!^^
"its mixing for him"
That one deserves a pop in the kisser!

Dont bother explaining to the Wankers.
Shit is too metaphysical to grasp.
DJ Bombjack 6:00 PM - 28 September, 2006
I always unplug the mic (if they have one) when I start the night. So much easier to cut them off by saying "nope, no mic, sorry".
DJTonyC 11:06 PM - 28 September, 2006
A new one for me. Last night this girl comes up to the booth and says "Do you KNOW any Snoop Dogg." Couldn't help but start laughing. Didn't know I was a one man band.
brotha reese 11:20 PM - 28 September, 2006
i gotta go and make more shirts. i love america.freedom of speach.i need to start recording these stupid bitches when they ask for a request and then put an explosion after there request.
DJ Nevoc 12:14 AM - 29 September, 2006
I had an Audition the other night @ this new spot... I scouted out the place to find out the gear that they were installing. The sound guy comes in to run the wire and I was like hey man what decks are you putting in?

Pioneers.

Me: Awsome I love CDJs

Him: No, they arent CDJs they are dual deck rack cd players.

Keep in mind the manager is standing there.

Me: That really limits your DJing skill

Him: No I can do anything you can do on Vinyl on Dual Decks.

Me: So what are you playing on?

Him: CDXs....

Me: ok Im gonna setup my gear.

Setup my CDJ-800s, Vestax PMC Pro 08, and SSL

Manager: Whats the Laptop for, is this how DJing is now?

Me: Yep its the new thing, all the big names are using it. Basicly just makes everything easier to transport.

Sound Guy: Man all your gear is out of date... those CDJ-800s are B-stock and Vestax Sucks.

Me: Really? Cause last time this mixer just came out... There is only 1 defference between my CDJs and the new Ones and SSL is the latest and greatest thing on the market hands down! Can you mix without headphones? I didnt think so.
Kool DJ Sheak One 5:32 AM - 29 September, 2006
Fuck all those old ass sound guys that think they know but really they dont know shiznit!

I had dude come up to me tonight and be all like--

"O.K. so like where is the music coming from?"

(me) The computer, but records be controlin shit.


"What???"

Like I said " Don't Try to comprehend ma friend"
Dj K.Smith 2:04 PM - 29 September, 2006
Crowd is rockin to some J Isaac "Ez Up"... Dude comes over and says, you need to play that "new" R.Kelly Step In The Name Of Love... (and slips a $1 bill on my laptop stand...)

Ok right away boss... I'ze be sure to get that on fo' you now sir, seeing how you gave me a whole dollar sir...
Kool DJ Sheak One 3:22 PM - 29 September, 2006
I had a guy throw a $5 bill at me and it landed on the ground, and he said "play something good".
I said "well I only play bad music"


I picked that shit up when he left though.
brotha reese 4:23 PM - 29 September, 2006
f that sound guy. he's sounds like a lot of the sound guys i work old ass hippies. f dual cd players.the only thing you can do is loop a beat or mix you can't scratch with those little as jog wheels. what a tool! i have cdj 800 and i like them better then the cdj1000.
djskeetz 5:23 PM - 29 September, 2006
Quote:



I picked that shit up when he left though.


fuck yea! hahaha.
ral 4:58 AM - 1 October, 2006
do you have (insert unknown punk/alternative song here)...
nope. sorry. any other song in mind?
dont you have itunes?
this laptop is not connected to the internet!
geez
dj_esentrik 5:44 AM - 1 October, 2006
I hate the ones were I'm setting up for the next song, trying to beatmatch, and someone is yelling at me asking "whats the name of the song ur playing right now..!!" or a request in the middle of my mixing
dj_esentrik 5:54 AM - 1 October, 2006
I also forgot, its funny as hell when someone asks, "Hey, u got this song, i don't know name of it but it goes like this dum dum da dum da da" and they start humming the song
ekalb 5:57 AM - 1 October, 2006
lol
DjSykes 9:40 AM - 1 October, 2006
What about the idiot that comes up behind you while you have your headset on DOING A MIX and trys to scream in your ear...thats when I say SECURITY....
Dj NrG 3:35 PM - 2 October, 2006
"Can you play some "white Hip Hop"?
brotha reese 5:31 PM - 2 October, 2006
oh shit can you play some white hip hop! dang i havent heard that one yet.lol
Kool DJ Sheak One 5:34 PM - 2 October, 2006
Quote:
"Can you play some "white Hip Hop"?


Thats deep.

I had some little white broad tell me to "keep playin that black music, I love black music!"
DeezNotes 5:40 PM - 2 October, 2006
Quote:
"Can you play some "white Hip Hop"?


Yo... what is that? Seriously, what did you play?
Dj KaGeN 5:49 PM - 2 October, 2006
eminem, beastie boys & vanilla ice
Kool DJ Sheak One 5:54 PM - 2 October, 2006
diddy,fiddy,what a pity.
tig ol' bitties 6:03 PM - 2 October, 2006
I DJed this gig in Downtown Boston Friday, not a club but a spot where people come to dance on the real.

I had this chick come up and say, "can you jus like not play anything but wedding music, i am really chessy and i just love all that stuff"

Me: "what bout every1 else that doesnt want that shit?"

Chick: "I dont care about anyone else, you either play it or I take all my friends and leave"

Me: "where are you friends?" (she points them out, probably 6 of them and 4 of them were over 160 for sure)
Needless to say I didnt play any "wedding music" lol.
tig ol' bitties 6:04 PM - 2 October, 2006
well i played a few madonna tunes to humor them but nothing more.
dj shortbus 6:07 PM - 2 October, 2006
i dj at this club where the music variety goes from one extreme to the next..........someone asked for the chicken dance.......i thought they were kidding.......they werent
PhoenixUK 7:29 PM - 2 October, 2006
Quote:
can you play that one song? umm i forgot what it was called.


... but it goes like this ... !!!!!
matt212 10:43 PM - 2 October, 2006
I need a shirt that says, "If you don't know the name of the song, Don't ask me to play it".

Does anybody know where I can pick this up?
Dj KaGeN 10:59 PM - 2 October, 2006
I just remembered a comment that caught me off guard...

A good lookin professional dressed chic appraoches me very early in the night, holding a cocktail - leans over and says to me, "You should be using a Mac." She was quick to turn on her heels and head back to her table where a few other finely dressed ladies were sitting. I didn't get a chance to say anything.

(It was for the best, that I was left standing there grinning, half stunned and shaking gently my head 'no'..)
DJ Michael Basic 11:10 PM - 2 October, 2006
My response to that is always, "Macs are for people who don't really know how to use a computer, and graphic artists."
dj solomon 2:23 AM - 3 October, 2006
Quote:
My response to that is always, "Macs are for people who don't really know how to use a computer, and graphic artists."


wow... sounds like fightin' words... do i see another mac/pc brawl thread about to begin?
ejayian 3:00 AM - 3 October, 2006
Im a mac fanboy, cant really argue with that statement, I like to think my powerbook is "idiotproof" Its pretty much plug & play....so yeah if you dont know how to maintain a computer a macs for you.....
DJ Bombjack 3:44 AM - 3 October, 2006
Quote:
My response to that is always, "Macs are for people who don't really know how to use a computer, and graphic artists."


Oh please. Get over yourself.
DJ Michael Basic 4:36 AM - 3 October, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
My response to that is always, "Macs are for people who don't really know how to use a computer, and graphic artists."


Oh please. Get over yourself.


That's my response to people who say *I* should be using a mac. I personally don't give a rip who uses what. Use a mac if you want...use a PC if you want. The reality is, as far as Serato is concerned, both will either do the job or take a crap on you. Doesn't matter mac or pc, if you don't take care of it, or if you have a random failure, it'll suck for you, if you know what you're doing, it works fine. I just respond like that to people who tell me what *I* should be using.
phil 5:30 AM - 3 October, 2006
It's way faster if you just raise your hand and say:

"Tell it to the hand...."
djskeetz 6:00 AM - 3 October, 2006
i think in america its, "talk to the hand"
phil 8:36 AM - 3 October, 2006
Good to know skeetz :)
Kool DJ Sheak One 4:31 PM - 3 October, 2006
Quote:
It's way faster if you just raise your hand and say:

"Tell it to the hand...."


Hey phil, we actually stopped saying that about 5 years ago.
Now we say"Speak to the Fist".
s42000 5:50 PM - 3 October, 2006
"shut your pukehole"
djskeetz 6:02 PM - 3 October, 2006
Quote:
Good to know skeetz :)


haha!
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 9:19 PM - 3 October, 2006
Quote:
i think in america its, "talk to the hand"


my kids say "talk to tha palm, you're not tha bomb"
djskeetz 9:24 PM - 3 October, 2006
haha
NOMOLOS JD 10:58 PM - 3 October, 2006
talk to the hand, bc the face dont understand!
sG 11:00 PM - 3 October, 2006
my favorite so far has been... when you play 4 seconds of a song this girl does not like, she'll bumrush the booth and yell at you to change the music... despite a packed floor.
djskeetz 11:09 PM - 3 October, 2006
ive almost seriously socked some drunk ass hoes in the face for not acting right. dumb bitches. Rawr!
Kool DJ Sheak One 11:26 PM - 3 October, 2006
Blaaaow!!!
Watchyoutube.com
Dj KaGeN 11:27 PM - 3 October, 2006
holy shit !!!! someone please translate that, OMG !!!
Kool DJ Sheak One 11:31 PM - 3 October, 2006
"Bombo Blem!" means: "get your mullet ass outta my face Biaatch!"
djskeetz 11:33 PM - 3 October, 2006
haha, seen that before, its a classic, that's how i feel, i would just BLAOOOW, then get one with business like usual.
Res-Q 1:06 AM - 4 October, 2006
that's what's up lol
phil 3:03 AM - 4 October, 2006
Quote:
holy shit !!!! someone please translate that, OMG !!!


Skinny dude says something like: "Hey dude"

Bodyguard: "Do you got a problem? Move along"

SLAAAPPP

Bodyguard: "Got another problem?"

...... that's it
djskeetz 3:07 AM - 4 October, 2006
hhahhahahah! that is awesome, just instant ownage.
phil 3:10 AM - 4 October, 2006
The really funny thing is, that the guy in the suite talks about beeing a business-guy, slaps the skinny dude without a real reason, and moves along talking again about business like nothing happend. IN front of the camera :D
djskeetz 5:17 AM - 4 October, 2006
yeah thats right, its cause that skinny ass long hair ugly freak was a fucking punk. he got served with the hand of realness.
phil 5:30 AM - 4 October, 2006
No doubt that if you add together both guys IQ you would still get a two-digit number.
djskeetz 5:37 AM - 4 October, 2006
hhaahahaa big thug crosses path with junkie hobo.
nik39 8:18 AM - 4 October, 2006
That was a pimp, right?
phil 8:26 AM - 4 October, 2006
Yeah owner of red-light district nightclubs.
concorde_pilot 1:22 PM - 4 October, 2006
too lazy to translate...
like: bought this and this nightclub...
then to the junk: do you have a problem? > bang
"don´t want to hang around with those assholes"
DJ Stuart (AR) 1:37 PM - 4 October, 2006
Clubber: Excuse me, can you play (insert song here).
Me: I'm sorry i only speak Navajo.

www.djstuart.com.ar
Revolutionary 1:48 PM - 4 October, 2006
Someone should put all this stuff in a book.
ChULo 12:41 AM - 5 October, 2006
I'm lucky..I have a booth that sits up about eight feet from the dance floor and a bouncer stands at the bottom of the steps. I only let the hot chicks ask for request and if they start to become a pain in the ass......No more soup for you!!!!
Julls 1:15 AM - 5 October, 2006
*In Ali G Voice* Talk to da hand cuz da face...it aint lisnin.
djaction 8:42 PM - 9 October, 2006
DJ'ing @ a car show yesterday..

Record playing -> "Run DMC - It's Like That" ..

Guy walks right up to me and says "Hey you got any Country or ROCK?? CUZ My TRIBE doesn't listen to this SH*T!!!"

It took almost every bit of self-control to not mush him and smash a record over his head.
djzoo 9:05 PM - 9 October, 2006
techno requests are always funny.
(@ hip hop party)
The Dance floor could be filled with people parting their asses off to mobb deep beats & you could be wearing a big gold dookie chain, adidas sweat suit, 4 finger ring and some dumbass will still request some techno.
Kool DJ Sheak One 2:20 AM - 10 October, 2006
Last night, some drunk broad rolled up on me in a wheelchair.
And started screaming at me about salsa music. I told her to just pump her brakes and I threw on "born to roll".
DJ Uncle Needle Drop 3:00 AM - 10 October, 2006
Quote:
Just plug your headphones into your mic input...and shazzzzam! Instant mic!
Also the best way to destroy a nice pair of headphones quickly. Only do this as a complete last resort!
DJ AM 11:03 PM - 15 October, 2006
This is the greatest thread I have seen here... AMAZING!

1- YES, the "50 Cent Bday song" happens weekly like so...

Girl - "Its my friends Bday, will you play the birthday song?"
Me - "No and happy birthday"

2-
Girl "Will you play some Tribe or De La"

I was playing Buddy when she asked that

3-
Girl "When are you gonna play something we can dance to?"

I was playing James Brown so I said "Honey, you cant dance"

4-
Club Manager in Vegas in 2000 (won't say what club)

Manager "Yo DJ, this music sucks"
Me "Excuse me?"
Manager "I said, This music SUCKS"
Me (Hit stop on the 1200 while Poison BBD was playing, dead silence) "Then you don't have to listen to it anymore" and I got my shit and left "Keep your money and have fun learning to DJ"
Julls 11:22 PM - 15 October, 2006
Quote:
Manager "Yo DJ, this music sucks"
Me "Excuse me?"
Manager "I said, This music SUCKS"
Me (Hit stop on the 1200 while Poison BBD was playing, dead silence) "Then you don't have to listen to it anymore" and I got my shit and left "Keep your money and have fun learning to DJ"


Hahaha DAMN!
DJ Uncle Needle Drop 12:25 AM - 16 October, 2006
Quote:
4-
Club Manager in Vegas in 2000 (won't say what club)

Manager "Yo DJ, this music sucks"
Me "Excuse me?"
Manager "I said, This music SUCKS"
Me (Hit stop on the 1200 while Poison BBD was playing, dead silence) "Then you don't have to listen to it anymore" and I got my shit and left "Keep your money and have fun learning to DJ"


Absolutely pricless
CMS 12:53 AM - 16 October, 2006
Quote:

4-
Club Manager in Vegas in 2000 (won't say what club)

Manager "Yo DJ, this music sucks"
Me "Excuse me?"
Manager "I said, This music SUCKS"
Me (Hit stop on the 1200 while Poison BBD was playing, dead silence) "Then you don't have to listen to it anymore" and I got my shit and left "Keep your money and have fun learning to DJ"


That is awesome.
dj nick dean 1:56 AM - 16 October, 2006
I was playing a few weeks ago at this bar, everyone was dancing, place was off the hook, and some chick walks up to me and is like

"hey, will you play that rhianna song, I don't want to be, a murderer"

well first off, thats not how the song goes, as far as I know, (I unfortunatly hear it constantly at my day job on the radio)
second off, that might be one of the worst songs I have ever fucking heard in my life. That song would not have just cleared the dance floor, it would have cleared the bar altogether.

wtf, will someone explain her logic???
ILLZ 2:12 AM - 16 October, 2006
Quote:
Club Manager in Vegas in 2000 (won't say what club)

Manager "Yo DJ, this music sucks"
Me "Excuse me?"
Manager "I said, This music SUCKS"
Me (Hit stop on the 1200 while Poison BBD was playing, dead silence) "Then you don't have to listen to it anymore" and I got my shit and left "Keep your money and have fun learning to DJ"


GANGSTA!!!
wakka 3:29 AM - 16 October, 2006
Quote:
Club Manager in Vegas in 2000 (won't say what club)

Manager "Yo DJ, this music sucks"
Me "Excuse me?"
Manager "I said, This music SUCKS"
Me (Hit stop on the 1200 while Poison BBD was playing, dead silence) "Then you don't have to listen to it anymore" and I got my shit and left "Keep your money and have fun learning to DJ"


As Dave Chappelle would say, "that's the most ballest shit ever!!"
DJ Nevoc 4:02 AM - 16 October, 2006
Quote:
Club Manager in Vegas in 2000 (won't say what club)

Manager "Yo DJ, this music sucks"
Me "Excuse me?"
Manager "I said, This music SUCKS"
Me (Hit stop on the 1200 while Poison BBD was playing, dead silence) "Then you don't have to listen to it anymore" and I got my shit and left "Keep your money and have fun learning to DJ"


Dude last night, is a slow night... I'm in the booth playing and this girl comes up.

Girl: Hey play something we can dance to.

Me: (looks @ crowd) But there are girls dancing.

Girl: Oh you like the way to broke ass white girls dance!! Play some shit we home girls can get down to! Some Booty Shaking shit!

Me: Girl Dont Cop an attitude with me.

Girl: Oh I wasnt coppin anything, you need to play some real shit. (Girl Walks off)

10 Minutes later I jump on the Mic to talk about the Halloween party we are having and I hear...

Same Girl: Hey DJ You Suck!

Me: Oh I suck (roll up the stop speed on the CDJ and hit stop)
The Current song grinds to a hault... and everyone looks @ her.

Me: Hope you can Dance to this girl I'm out! Peace!
DJ C.A.P 5:39 AM - 16 October, 2006
^^did u really leave???


and never come back

u got paid??
DJUnknown 3:59 PM - 16 October, 2006
^^^Why let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch, was she the manager or something? Honestly, you gave her too much play, all that explanation and ishhhhh is not deserving. What I do is play with them, nod my head like "sure" then continue doing my thing. If the same person comes back, I repeat process, I might add a couple words like "coming right up" and act extremely busy, then continue doing my thing. As long as people are dancing, I could give two cents about that one person complaining.
DJ Uncle Needle Drop 4:05 PM - 16 October, 2006
??? Should lose your job for that one. It's different if the manager @ a New Years party is stupid enough to say that to a name dj, but leaving because some skank in a small club on a slow night talks shit to you?

You need to learn to use the mic to your advantage - put that hoe on the spot- let the crowd know that she was talking some anti semetic shit and didn't like the way the "Broke ass white girls" danced- her night will be over quick.
djaction 8:43 PM - 16 October, 2006
this past weekend.. good looking chick came up and requested PHARCYDE.. I almost fell to the ground.. then her and her friends were requesting Tribe, De La, all the good old stuff.. was bizzaro night for sure.
SUBSTANCE 10:50 PM - 16 October, 2006
^marry THAT bitch...
DJ Nevoc 11:46 PM - 16 October, 2006
LOL I walked back out of sight then rushed back in and hit play.... LOL it was Can't Touch this!!! The dance floor packed out!!! F*ckin Awesome!
DJ Uncle Needle Drop 1:12 AM - 17 October, 2006
If I played that song, people around here would look at me like "whatchu gonna do next play Milli Vanilli"!!?? That might just get m e boo'd outa the place if I came back like that. I don't believe the story anyhow...too many holes...You're a great story teller though. 2 part/delayed posts.... whatever....
DJ Nevoc 1:33 AM - 17 October, 2006
sorry uncle, i have a real job and dont sit @ home a update the forum every second to see if someone posted back... tell you what uncle try NOT being soo negative to everyone on here.
Julls 2:35 AM - 17 October, 2006
Quote:
tell you what uncle try NOT being soo negative to everyone on here.


For reals!
DJ Uncle Needle Drop 4:36 AM - 17 October, 2006
Quote:
sorry uncle, i have a real job and dont sit @ home a update the forum every second to see if someone posted back... tell you what uncle try NOT being soo negative to everyone on here.


It's not a matter of sitting @ home waiting for someone to reply to your post so you can TELL THE REST OF THE SUPPOSED STORY. Tell the whole thing the first time if it's true. Don't wait until you realize how stupid your made up story sounds, and then try and save face by posting "the rest of the story later"

As for your comment about me being negative- is that because I call you on your BS? Because I shared honestly what I thought about your dual club/ radio broadcast? Sorry if I rained on your parade dude, but I've been in the radio game for a long time (getting paid mind you) not as an intern, so I know how that stuff works. So, sorry to rain on your "I'm a big time radio mix jock/intern parade" just calling it like I see it.
djskeetz 4:45 AM - 17 October, 2006
hhahahaha. wassup now?
DJ Uncle Needle Drop 4:51 AM - 17 October, 2006
read up^^^ Starting with AM's story about a Vegas manager.
djskeetz 5:10 AM - 17 October, 2006
yea i know, when i read it, it sounded like a copy cat, but i'm not a confrontational type of person, so i took it for what it was worth.
djskeetz 5:11 AM - 17 October, 2006
its great peopel like you DJUND that step up, so people like me can get a good read. haha. i take shits while reading the forum with my iBook. hahhaah such a loser i am said the type of this text.
DJ Uncle Needle Drop 5:17 AM - 17 October, 2006
Thanks skeetz.

BTW - last weekend this bitch came up to me and said "YO! Play something with a good beat, this shit sucks"

So I pulled out my 9 and shot her.
DJ Stuart (AR) 6:34 AM - 17 October, 2006
Manager: Excuse me, do you mind if a dance around in a Winnie the pooh custom while you play your next song.
Me: Yeah, sure..go ahead.
Manager: Do you wanna get in the Tigger custom an dance with me whil we smoke crack?
Me: No way.
Manager: I have to tell you something.....i'm not human. I'm a robot, i came fro the future to take drugs and have fun.
Me:mmmm..okay.
Manager: Do you know Nik39?
Me: The guy from the SSL forum?
Manager: Yeap...he is my cousin.
Me: Really?
Manager: No.
Me: I think i'm going to leave.

www.djstuart.com.ar
ChULo 6:38 AM - 17 October, 2006
Quote:
Thanks skeetz.

BTW - last weekend this bitch came up to me and said "YO! Play something with a good beat, this shit sucks"

So I pulled out my 9 and shot her.


did you stay or leave before the cops arrived? LOL
djskeetz 6:38 AM - 17 October, 2006
Quote:
Thanks skeetz.

BTW - last weekend this bitch came up to me and said "YO! Play something with a good beat, this shit sucks"

So I pulled out my 9 and shot her.


hahahahhahahaah im actually cracking up as i read this! lol
allstarchris 11:14 AM - 17 October, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
Thanks skeetz.

BTW - last weekend this bitch came up to me and said "YO! Play something with a good beat, this shit sucks"

So I pulled out my 9 and shot her.


hahahahhahahaah im actually cracking up as i read this! lol


Hahahah.... me too.

I'm waiting for the two part!! Come on, tell me it was your 9 inch you shot her with? LOL!!..

{quote]As for your comment about me being negative- is that because I call you on your BS?
I'm with you on this DJ Uncle Needle Drop!
djskeetz 8:24 PM - 17 October, 2006
Boom pussy guts all over the room!
NOMOLOS JD 8:31 PM - 17 October, 2006
I dunno about yall, but I'm an absolute dick in the booth. I don't like being approached by randoms, trying to scream their request into my ear. I usually just turn the booth monitor as loud as it can go to drown them out. Some are persistent tho and still try to ask me to play a song, so I just cut them off and say I don't have it before they even get a chance.


Uncle Needle Drop, I'm glad I'mnot the only one who sees through a lot of peoples bullshit on this forum. Nevoc is one of the biggest storytellers on here.
The Notorious G.I.B. 10:33 PM - 17 October, 2006
I had a chick tell me she was going to get me fired for playing Michael Jackson.
Kool DJ Sheak One 11:39 PM - 17 October, 2006
Black Michael or White Michael?^^
The Notorious G.I.B. 12:12 AM - 18 October, 2006
Thriller man...Thriller.
The Notorious G.I.B. 12:13 AM - 18 October, 2006
She wanted reggaeton.
Kool DJ Sheak One 12:16 AM - 18 October, 2006
Doh!
DJ d.range 1:37 PM - 19 October, 2006
Quote:
Last night, some drunk broad rolled up on me in a wheelchair.
And started screaming at me about salsa music. I told her to just pump her brakes and I threw on "born to roll".



LOL!!!!!!!
ral 2:28 PM - 19 October, 2006
last nite, around 9pm to 9:30, slow weds nite, playing classic rnb 90-95bpm, then this couple approach me, how come the song is not changing? still the same beat? play something danceable! (means house music)
DJ AM 5:40 PM - 19 October, 2006
In LA we usually DJ 4 hour sets,, 10pm till 2am (close) and I used to get to work at 9:45pm to set up, then basically practice the 1st hour while people were walking in. Well, at 10:15 I'd get the "PLAY BEYONCE CRAZY IN LOVE" and I'd say "Its 10:15, you will hear it later I promise" and of course the girl would frown (thinking its cute and i will fall for it) and I'd just go back to practicing. 10:30 she would walk by and look at me raising her eyebrows. 11pm she sends 2 of her friends up to ask for the same song shile she watchs to see my reaction (cause of course her ego let her think i was saying no to HER specifically) and I just look at the 1st girl and say "I told your friend, i will play it later" This is the reason I used to carry weak ass promo frisbee records in the back of my crate. Cause come 11:15pm when the 1st girl comes BACK (now with a few drinks in her) demanding I play it. I reach in the back of my crate, pull out a frisbee record and say "You want Beyonce??? Huh?? YOU REALLY WANT IT?? (pull out frisbee 12" and SMASH it over my kneee and hand her the 2 pieces) HERE MOFO, TAKE BEYONCE" they never come back. I have my man man Mike B to thank for this drunkgirl jukeing strategy.
Kool DJ Sheak One 5:44 PM - 19 October, 2006
^^ You should do like James Bonds Chinese homie with the sharp hat. Cut bitches heads off with the 12"!
DJ Nevoc 6:17 PM - 19 October, 2006
Quote:
I dunno about yall, but I'm an absolute dick in the booth. I don't like being approached by randoms, trying to scream their request into my ear. I usually just turn the booth monitor as loud as it can go to drown them out. Some are persistent tho and still try to ask me to play a song, so I just cut them off and say I don't have it before they even get a chance.


Uncle Needle Drop, I'm glad I'mnot the only one who sees through a lot of peoples bullshit on this forum. Nevoc is one of the biggest storytellers on here.



^^ I'd just like to know how it is that I'm telling stories and futhermore, where are you getting you facts from? I dont think I have ever met either one of you. Nor do I care to.

In Fact to be quite honest, I really dont care what you think about me. In the last 3 months I participated in 3 charity Events that have raised well over $35,000 toward Cancer patients. I got into radio because one of the DJs brought me in and I had a mixshow for a couple months till that DJ was Fired for failure to follow directions on numerous occasions. Since that incident I have interned for KMX, doing spots and doing a bit daily on the morning show.

You can take my word for it, or not. Either way I'd just like to say that I know what is happening here where I live. If you continue to question whether I am telling the truth or not I suggest you come hang out in Enterprise, AL for a week and I'll give you the nickle tour.

Needle, and Nom I wonder what it is that is so great about you both that you feel compeled to constantly attack anyone on this forum who shows any bit of progress in their careers, or futhermore asks questions about possibilities of certain gig setups.

I have no interest in continuing any continuing any communication with either of you. I hope you both come to relize that your both being very childish.
NOMOLOS JD 6:21 PM - 19 October, 2006
Don't feel singled out, you arent the only one on here thats full of shit.
Dj KaGeN 6:23 PM - 19 October, 2006
This disgruntled fool has wrongfully called out many people... what a dismal asswipe.
AMF 6:27 PM - 19 October, 2006
Wow
NOMOLOS JD 6:27 PM - 19 October, 2006
Kagen is just bitter I denied his myspace.com friend request.
DJ Uncle Needle Drop 6:27 PM - 19 October, 2006
Quote:
Don't feel singled out, you arent the only one on here thats full of shit.
LMAO! That's funny.
allstarchris 6:33 PM - 19 October, 2006
I don't really see how Uncle is being negative? Look:

Quote:
You're a great story teller though.

He even gave you a compliment.

If someone called me a shit DJ to my face. What would I do?
Nothing, because I don't have to justify myself to anyone. I have faith in my skills, and that's all I need. Now to get so heated cause someone called bullsh*t on your story, especially on the internet. Why?
Maybe the truth hurts?
DJ Uncle Needle Drop 6:39 PM - 19 October, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
I dunno about yall, but I'm an absolute dick in the booth. I don't like being approached by randoms, trying to scream their request into my ear. I usually just turn the booth monitor as loud as it can go to drown them out. Some are persistent tho and still try to ask me to play a song, so I just cut them off and say I don't have it before they even get a chance.


Uncle Needle Drop, I'm glad I'mnot the only one who sees through a lot of peoples bullshit on this forum. Nevoc is one of the biggest storytellers on here.



^^ I'd just like to know how it is that I'm telling stories and futhermore, where are you getting you facts from? I dont think I have ever met either one of you. Nor do I care to.

In Fact to be quite honest, I really dont care what you think about me. In the last 3 months I participated in 3 charity Events that have raised well over $35,000 toward Cancer patients. I got into radio because one of the DJs brought me in and I had a mixshow for a couple months till that DJ was Fired for failure to follow directions on numerous occasions. Since that incident I have interned for KMX, doing spots and doing a bit daily on the morning show.

You can take my word for it, or not. Either way I'd just like to say that I know what is happening here where I live. If you continue to question whether I am telling the truth or not I suggest you come hang out in Enterprise, AL for a week and I'll give you the nickle tour.

Needle, and Nom I wonder what it is that is so great about you both that you feel compeled to constantly attack anyone on this forum who shows any bit of progress in their careers, or futhermore asks questions about possibilities of certain gig setups.

I have no interest in continuing any continuing any communication with either of you. I hope you both come to relize that your both being very childish.


If you don't care what we think then why do you feel compelled to list your charity accomplishments and also, why do you air your friends dirty laundry about why he got fired from the station? I don't care how he got fired, or if you are an intern, or if the morning show uses you to do "whacky radio bits" -those are all played out anyway. I did them all when I started, and then some. I'm just calling you on your BS stories. And you obviously don't like that. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I'd love to come out to "Enterprise" Alabama to visit you and get your nickle tour, and possibly see you walk out in the middle of your club job only to see you run back in and hit the crowd hard with "Can't Touch This", But I'm going to have to take my vacation elsewhere.

What kind of whacky mo sho radio bits have you done? Try to only tell us about the REALLY whacky ones.lol
s42000 6:49 PM - 19 October, 2006
Carry on folks LOL, the last few exchanges have just made my day .... LMAOROTFF !!!!!!!
djskeetz 6:50 PM - 19 October, 2006
ouch.
Kool DJ Sheak One 8:40 PM - 19 October, 2006
Nevoc, Your story about stopping the song on the cd player was cool and all, but shit looked kinda suspect because it was eerily identical to another djs story one post before.(you even quoted it.)
Just wait until something really happens thats funny and we would all love to hear about it!
FS2-4salePM @ soon-2-be-ex-FSuser 9:12 PM - 19 October, 2006
fihgting fihgting fightnig.

why always mean people to hurting the time any where.
212121 5:17 PM - 22 October, 2006
what the **** is going on with that hip-hop and whatever music, you guys really like that? ever heard of electronic music? what's going on... its 2006!
matt212 7:07 PM - 22 October, 2006
Best thread going right now...LOL!
double B 11:03 PM - 22 October, 2006
I think hip-hop is better then EDM (great discussion starter)
Kool DJ Sheak One 11:10 PM - 22 October, 2006
I was playing "cruel summer" by the Bangles and a guy came up and asked me if it was hip hop. After wiping the tears of laughter from my face, I said "No".
IanJ 11:30 PM - 22 October, 2006
"hey what time is it?"
ral 1:13 AM - 23 October, 2006
hey dj, do you have change?

hey dj, wheres the bathroom?

can i leave my purse here?
dj nick dean 2:03 AM - 23 October, 2006
Quote:
and of course the girl would frown (thinking its cute and i will fall for it) and I'd just go back to practicing.
Quote:



lol, I admit it!.....the cute frown has got my ass once or twice.

reminds me of that Family Guy episode where Stewie falls in love with Janet and she uses him for his cookie stash
dj nick dean 2:04 AM - 23 October, 2006
i suck with the quote feature^^^^obviously
NOMOLOS JD 2:44 AM - 23 October, 2006
Quote:
I was playing "cruel summer" by the Bangles and a guy came up and asked me if it was hip hop. After wiping the tears of laughter from my face, I said "No".


Uhhhh I dont think the Bangles did "Cruel Summer"... I could be wrong, but I doubt it
The Little Trooper 3:05 AM - 23 October, 2006
It was Bananarama
DJ Uncle Needle Drop 3:08 AM - 23 October, 2006
Both the the Bangles and Bananarama did it.- and Ace of Base
djivanlopez.com 3:45 AM - 23 October, 2006
1. PLAY SOMETHING GOOD...SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO! As a DJ, I have to play for more than one person...so what you hate may be another's favorite song and all music can be danced to one way or another.

2. WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A "BEAT"?

Unless the song is acapella, there are NO songs played at a party that do not have some sort of BEAT!


3. I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS....


PLEASE don't sing for me (DJ). I have to perform various tasks at the same time; like listening to the next song that is to be played and keeping the beat count for the upcoming song. Do me a favor and DON'T give me (or another DJ) a rendition of your favorite song (if it really was your favorite, you would know the title and artist).

4. EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT!

Of course!... you polled everyone at the party and, as their spokesperson; you're requesting this particular song for everyone.


5. EVERYBODY WILL DANCE, IF YOU PLAY IT!

I (the DJ) won't. I guess that blows a hole in that theory!


6. I CAN GET SOME IF YOU PLAY IT!

Why settle for one day/night? Buy the album and get some for a whole month! Even if you offer me a "tip", save your money and go buy the album.


7. I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT!

The ONLY people who can get away with that statement write the DJ's paycheck and have signed the contract! So.... ask me for a business card and I'll be glad to play it NEXT at your event.

8. WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

It's a lot easier for you to go have another drink and figure out what you want to hear, than it is for the me (DJ) to recite the name of every song in the music catalog! If I were doing karaoke (no offense to my KJ colleagues), then yes, I would have a list of eveything I play, but since I'm not, then I don't.

9. HEY, DJ, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS!

It's NOT advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some people do anyway)! HOWEVER, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it STILL contradicts the statement!


10. PLAY IT SOON, BECAUSE WE'RE LEAVING!

If your going to leave after I play it, why shouldn't I wait till the very last song so you stay for the whole event!
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 6:06 AM - 23 October, 2006
Quote:
Both the the Bangles and Bananarama did it.- and Ace of Base


tomato, tomatoe... its all still hippity hop
Kool DJ Sheak One 4:51 PM - 23 October, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
Both the the Bangles and Bananarama did it.- and Ace of Base


tomato, tomatoe... its all still hippity hop


Funny!

Last night I had a request for "Its going down" while Im playing eighties at like 112 bpm. And that song is 86 bpm. The only way to mix that song is with other slow songs (big pimpin) or reggae or drum and bass. Fuck slow ass popular songs! "Its not going down tonight honey"
djskeetz 6:23 PM - 23 October, 2006
i thought it was 84?
djskeetz 6:24 PM - 23 October, 2006
isn't big pimping 68?
Kool DJ Sheak One 6:31 PM - 23 October, 2006
thats sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. Is'nt screwed and or chopped stuff like 57bpm?
djzoo 7:21 PM - 23 October, 2006
Quote:
Fuck slow ass popular songs! "Its not going down tonight honey"


LMAO!!! People at my work think i'm crazy.
monkeybiz 7:37 PM - 23 October, 2006
I got a great tip from a friend this week. When someone makes a stupid request, act as innocent as possible and just ask, "...Why?"
ral 7:43 PM - 23 October, 2006
press 45 and make a chipmunk version!!! its goin down!!!!!
Kool DJ Sheak One 7:53 PM - 23 October, 2006
You could with master tempo.(hint,hint)^^
tig ol' bitties 8:11 PM - 23 October, 2006
Quote:
isn't big pimping 68?


69 i think
sG 9:41 PM - 23 October, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
isn't big pimping 68?


69 i think


lol!
Dj KaGeN 9:50 PM - 23 October, 2006
I'm new.....

Watchwww.youtube.com

try this.
DjSykes 10:40 PM - 23 October, 2006
Lmaooooo!!!!!! WTF????? Was that a slap contest?????
djskeetz 10:57 PM - 23 October, 2006
that slow shit is cool to mix double time when its up in the 140-145 at the end of a set.
gucca69 8:59 AM - 25 October, 2006
think i seen those 2 chicks at my gig the other night lol!
DJJOHNNYM 12:48 PM - 25 October, 2006
LMAO! Y'all are funny.
masta monk 11:46 PM - 2 November, 2006
the double time mixes are a great way to pick it up after a down tempo set
gucca69 2:59 AM - 3 November, 2006
do you do this professionally?
i mean is this your job that would be so cool!
scotty B 4:17 PM - 3 November, 2006
So on Halloween I was spinning at a private party at a resturaunt. Super cool place, cool croud. They wanted to hear Hip Hop... Underground Mainstream...they didnt care. Some Guy dressed as the planters peanut comes up and introduces himself.
20 min later he says You gotta play Run DMC "It's like that" this whole group loves this song. I was later man.. It's too early. So every half hour hecomes up to tell me to play that, and some other random song that will "Be perfect after it"....
It got so annoying that this is what I finally did. about 1 am he aked again..I said got on the dance floor I am cueing it up!!!! so I was looking for it in my library.. and he asks again. at the same time some Hott Ass girl dressed like an angel with next to nothing on comes up and requested sexy back. .... you can guess what i played...
Dj KaGeN 4:21 PM - 3 November, 2006
Mary had a little lamb ?
SUBSTANCE 5:32 PM - 3 November, 2006
So you dissed a guy wanting Run DMC for some bitch with 3 CD singles?
No props.
scotty B 5:36 PM - 3 November, 2006
you had to be there ...
Dj KaGeN 5:47 PM - 3 November, 2006
Was she 6'2" - blond, super hot wearing nothing but fishnet stockings and a little bra and panty deal saying, "I'll love you forever - if you play that song."

I didn't play it, cuz she dancing all supa dirty in front of me for a couple hours with some 'other' dude... had she rubbed the goods on me, I woulda considered.
scotty B 6:28 PM - 3 November, 2006
LOL... Naw homey was just telling how and what to play all night. It was getting old. The drunker he got the worse he was...Obviously. I played quite a few other songs for him as well. trust me I normally would not do some ish like this....I played "it's like that" later that night anyway
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 8:10 PM - 3 November, 2006
wait a minute... so, you mean there was a guy dressed in fishnet stockings? i'm confused and slightly turned off now :(
Marc D 10:58 PM - 4 November, 2006
This just happened last night...

Some girl comes up to me and asks me to play Akon "Smack That". I told her I'd play it. She comes up a 4th time and I tell her "If you want to hear it that badly why don't you go out to your car and plug in your ipod and listen to it."

A little while later I notice that there's a little water on the dj booth. I keep spinning and I look back and there's even more water than before. So I look around for a spilled drink. I don't see anything but I do see that girl standing up against the wall drinking a bottle of water. So I tell one of my friends to keep an eye on her and I also tell the manager what's going on. Then she walks by me and flips me off! So I pick up a few of the wet napkins I wiped the water up with and I threw em at her. Then the manager grabs her and kicks her out.

Maybe I was outta line with all that, but it sure felt good.
dj solomon 11:43 AM - 5 November, 2006
Quote:
This just happened last night...

Some girl comes up to me and asks me to play Akon "Smack That". I told her I'd play it. She comes up a 4th time and I tell her "If you want to hear it that badly why don't you go out to your car and plug in your ipod and listen to it."

A little while later I notice that there's a little water on the dj booth. I keep spinning and I look back and there's even more water than before. So I look around for a spilled drink. I don't see anything but I do see that girl standing up against the wall drinking a bottle of water. So I tell one of my friends to keep an eye on her and I also tell the manager what's going on. Then she walks by me and flips me off! So I pick up a few of the wet napkins I wiped the water up with and I threw em at her. Then the manager grabs her and kicks her out.

Maybe I was outta line with all that, but it sure felt good.


where was that? 181? Impala?
WHAT A BITCH!
Marc D 6:42 PM - 5 November, 2006
Mr Smith's
djskeetz 8:27 PM - 5 November, 2006
i was DJing in this store, and this dude walks up to me with his "assistant"...he points at my laptop and gives a witty smile, and he says to me, "heheh, that's the serato right? I just can't use that, it just doens't feel real to me, i keep it old school." I ask this fuck, "oh really? oh so you like the vinyl? thtat's cool dawg" then this fuck says to me, "nah i dont use vinyl, i use CD Players, the old school way." what a fucking jackass. He blabs on how he is a professional and how Serato is not professional, and he starts explaining to his assistant about how "this software will crash on you, so dont use it" i was about to spit in his face. Then i'm like, "oh so your a professional? can i have your card?" then the lame asss piece of shit says, "yeah, sure.....oops i dont have any on me. I have them in my car." then i say, "oh shit, well you know, not having a business card on you is not very professional at all....So do you have a website???" "welll...Its in construction...right now, so..." then i say, "oh yeah i understand, so your a professional DJ, that keeps is old school by spinning CD's, that doesn't have a business card, or a website, yeah, that's pretty pro, but hey, i'd really like a card to check out what your all about!"

jack ass. never trust a man that wears sunglasses indoors. faggot.
Kool DJ Sheak One 10:34 PM - 5 November, 2006
I had someone book me to dj at a resturant. I asked him if he had turntables, and he said "no, we're old school, we only have cd players".Since when are cd players older than turntables?
m0rph! 11:24 PM - 5 November, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
This just happened last night...

Some girl comes up to me and asks me to play Akon "Smack That". I told her I'd play it. She comes up a 4th time and I tell her "If you want to hear it that badly why don't you go out to your car and plug in your ipod and listen to it."

A little while later I notice that there's a little water on the dj booth. I keep spinning and I look back and there's even more water than before. So I look around for a spilled drink. I don't see anything but I do see that girl standing up against the wall drinking a bottle of water. So I tell one of my friends to keep an eye on her and I also tell the manager what's going on. Then she walks by me and flips me off! So I pick up a few of the wet napkins I wiped the water up with and I threw em at her. Then the manager grabs her and kicks her out.

Maybe I was outta line with all that, but it sure felt good.


where was that? 181? Impala?
WHAT A BITCH!


Dude, that was the perfect time to play her Akon... and then do exactly what he said... SMACK THAT!
Dj KaGeN 11:48 PM - 5 November, 2006
more like- "momma said knock you out"
Freedom 12:32 AM - 6 November, 2006
Last night A girl comes up to me on our naughty english night...
And asks for a song request...

I tell her it was just played 5 min ago... She then tells me if I play it she will give me a lap dance....:)

Girl was wearing Naughty english outfit.. What am I supposed to say no... So I get on mic.. Echo out the music and say" REwind SELECTA" play the same track from 5 min before..

Also great the dj booth has those big pimp chairs made for lapdancing.. I decided to put the playlist on auto for 2 songs and enjoy...
CMS 1:03 AM - 6 November, 2006
@ djskeetz:

I hate people that have to come up and tell you they're "professionals". Had a guy do that a couple of years ago on a Friday night at my gig, I asked him if he was so good then why was he out on a weekend night and not spinning somewhere. Shut him up!!
517 2:13 AM - 6 November, 2006
Something about sereto just Fu##s up Drunks, When they see you djing with a computer they flip out, I dj a gig where Im at the same level as the crowd and about 3 feet from the mens restroom, sucks in a major way, you can imagine what I go through
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 3:25 AM - 6 November, 2006
i was using those RED control records last week, and like three different times, dudes walk by and say "what in the h3ll is that?!!!!", i proceed to explain, pointing at the sl1, usb, lappy, GUI... obviously they were too drunk to comprehend :)
dj solomon 9:15 AM - 6 November, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
This just happened last night...

Some girl comes up to me and asks me to play Akon "Smack That". I told her I'd play it. She comes up a 4th time and I tell her "If you want to hear it that badly why don't you go out to your car and plug in your ipod and listen to it."

A little while later I notice that there's a little water on the dj booth. I keep spinning and I look back and there's even more water than before. So I look around for a spilled drink. I don't see anything but I do see that girl standing up against the wall drinking a bottle of water. So I tell one of my friends to keep an eye on her and I also tell the manager what's going on. Then she walks by me and flips me off! So I pick up a few of the wet napkins I wiped the water up with and I threw em at her. Then the manager grabs her and kicks her out.

Maybe I was outta line with all that, but it sure felt good.


where was that? 181? Impala?
WHAT A BITCH!


Dude, that was the perfect time to play her Akon... and then do exactly what he said... SMACK THAT!


We need to keep records of these bitches and BAN THEM FROM ALL SF Venues... dont they have databases for this shit? I mean cmon, if we can control mp3s with time coded vinyl u'd thing they could keep this ignorance out of the places we play. Can please invent the Nightclub STUPID FINDER?

LOL
Marc D 7:03 PM - 6 November, 2006
Quote:

Dude, that was the perfect time to play her Akon... and then do exactly what he said... SMACK THAT!



<b>HAHA!</b>

Quote:


We need to keep records of these bitches and BAN THEM FROM ALL SF Venues... dont they have databases for this shit? I mean cmon, if we can control mp3s with time coded vinyl u'd thing they could keep this ignorance out of the places we play. Can please invent the Nightclub STUPID FINDER?

LOL


That's too funny! They do have yelp.com nad citysearch. I'm sure we could just start posting on there.
djrocket 3:36 AM - 7 November, 2006
So I was playing at this 15th this past Saturday. It's still early in the night, but I still had the dance floor packed. A guy walks up to me and says....
"When are you going to play some guapango? You’re putting us to sleep!" I looked at him, than the packed dance floor, than back at the guy and say... "Have a nice dream!"

Still the guy kept coming to ask for guapango every other song even after I told him I didn't have guapango.

BTW If anyone knows.. What is guapango? There are so many sub-genres in the Latin genre. It’s hard to have them all.


BTW If anyone knows.. What is guapango? There is so many sub-genres in the latin genre
Kool DJ Sheak One 4:46 AM - 7 November, 2006
Thats that new song that K-fed put out. Guapango on ma mango yo!
People try to show off by requesting some old off the wall genre that is only known to three villages in the heart of the east Colombian jungles.
DJ Unique 7:49 AM - 7 November, 2006
Guapango???
Maybe Huapango???

Huapango is a somewhat obscure Mexican genre from the Gulf of Mexico region that might sound like Mariachi/Ranchero to the untrained ear. I grew up in Los Angeles and had never heard of this until an older friend asked if I knew about it. I had never heard of it and he couldn't believe it. I took a quick survey of other Mexicans in my workplace and found that most did not know what it was. There were only 2 out of 15 that knew what it was. Keep in mind that these were people that were born & raised Mexico.

Google search below:
www.sobrino.net
en.wikipedia.org
www.folklorico.com
www.guildmusic.com
djrocket 5:08 PM - 7 November, 2006
Thanks Unique.. It's nice to know of these rarely known genres. I do think it's “Guapango” like Kool explained. Most of the guests were Colombians.
djrocket 5:09 PM - 7 November, 2006
However I look into Huapango also.
DJ Unique 7:57 PM - 7 November, 2006
May be Guapango.
The friend that asked if I knew is Peruvian.
He said that genre was very popular in Peru in his youth.
djzoo 8:03 PM - 7 November, 2006
wow, i'm mexican, my dad is from mexico and i never heard of that...?
andrew b 12:55 AM - 8 November, 2006
awesome! hahahahahahhahahah

Quote:
Quote:
"What's that?"

"Scratch Live"

"What is it for?"

"Long story...."

"Can i try it out?"

"Don't touch it"


Fu*kin CLASSIC!!!
Bounce 2:12 AM - 8 November, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
sorry uncle, i have a real job and dont sit @ home a update the forum every second to see if someone posted back... tell you what uncle try NOT being soo negative to everyone on here.


It's not a matter of sitting @ home waiting for someone to reply to your post so you can TELL THE REST OF THE SUPPOSED STORY. Tell the whole thing the first time if it's true. Don't wait until you realize how stupid your made up story sounds, and then try and save face by posting "the rest of the story later"

As for your comment about me being negative- is that because I call you on your BS? Because I shared honestly what I thought about your dual club/ radio broadcast? Sorry if I rained on your parade dude, but I've been in the radio game for a long time (getting paid mind you) not as an intern, so I know how that stuff works. So, sorry to rain on your "I'm a big time radio mix jock/intern parade" just calling it like I see it.


HATE HATE HATE!!!! OUCH...
DJ C.A.P 2:53 AM - 8 November, 2006
Quote:
Last night A girl comes up to me on our naughty english night...
And asks for a song request...

I tell her it was just played 5 min ago... She then tells me if I play it she will give me a lap dance....:)

Girl was wearing Naughty english outfit.. What am I supposed to say no... So I get on mic.. Echo out the music and say" REwind SELECTA" play the same track from 5 min before..

Also great the dj booth has those big pimp chairs made for lapdancing.. I decided to put the playlist on auto for 2 songs and enjoy...



haha I can't wait till I'm old enough to dj at a club :)
Kool DJ Sheak One 9:14 PM - 10 November, 2006
Do you have cigarette?

Bomboblem! Watchyoutube.com
dj solomon 10:32 PM - 10 November, 2006
Quote:
Do you have cigarette?

Bomboblem! Watchyoutube.com



hey nik can you please translate this video for us? Something tells me its way funnier if you can understand whay they are saying?
Dj KaGeN 10:55 PM - 10 November, 2006
MANY THANKS TO USER "PHIL"

I searched and found the translation to this (yes - bored at work)

Skinny dude says something like: "Hey dude"

Bodyguard: "Do you got a problem? Move along"

SLAAAPPP

Bodyguard: "Got another problem?"

...... that's it
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 11:20 PM - 10 November, 2006
homie probably saw a bunch of stars floating around him just like the cartoons
sixxx 7:47 AM - 11 November, 2006
Nah Kagen. You got it all wrong.

It goes like this:


Skinny dude, "Can I have your music library?"

Bodyguard, "What the fuck? Hell no!"

SLAAAAP

Bodyguard, "Ask me again. I dare you"
sixxx 7:51 AM - 11 November, 2006
and for all the nik39 haters it goes something like this:


Skinny dude, "Hi, I'm nik39"

Bodyguard, "Oh, hell yeah!"

SLAAAAP

Bodyguard, "Come on. Snitch again!"


lol
Kool DJ Sheak One 11:08 AM - 11 November, 2006
Quote:
and for all the nik39 haters it goes something like this:


Skinny dude, "Hi, I'm nik39"

Bodyguard, "Oh, hell yeah!"

SLAAAAP

Bodyguard, "Come on. Snitch again!"


lol


ROLFLOL! I almost peed in my pants on that on sixxx!
Julls 1:09 PM - 11 November, 2006
Quote:
and for all the nik39 haters it goes something like this:


Skinny dude, "Hi, I'm nik39"

Bodyguard, "Oh, hell yeah!"

SLAAAAP

Bodyguard, "Come on. Snitch again!"


lol


ROTFLMFAO!!!
B1G 2:04 PM - 11 November, 2006
Usually when i'm djing at a party club or whatever i have some friends of mine with me in the dj booth,so everytime someone's coming up to ask for a song my buddy listens to what he wants to know, turns around to me and says something like: i didn't even understand what this guy wants to hear, so just turn on a smile and pretend you are going to play that song. The only thing i do is just look at the guy and smile, usually this works with all people...

best question ever and most classic:
girl: play some better music...
me': whats better music?
girl: I dont know, just play some better music...
me: ok, i will...


lol happens a lot ;)
Dj KaGeN 2:27 AM - 12 November, 2006
^^ I have been the dude taking the requests, and I have been known to get deaf when the girl has a great rack on disply....

( . ) ( . )

HUH, what? What song?
Kool DJ Sheak One 2:31 AM - 12 November, 2006
^^ Nice post chee chees ( . )( . ). You can make big ones!
nik39 10:54 AM - 12 November, 2006
Quote:
and for all the nik39 haters it goes something like this:


Skinny dude, "Hi, I'm nik39"

Bodyguard, "Oh, hell yeah!"

SLAAAAP

Bodyguard, "Come on. Snitch again!"


lol

ROTFL :))
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 5:52 PM - 12 November, 2006
*sets marker cue point on that cut from Snow*
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 5:53 PM - 12 November, 2006
snow - informer Watchwww.youtube.com
DJ_Motion 9:31 PM - 12 November, 2006
So, I had my SSL set up to my left and I was rockin some wax on the tables to my right and I turn back to my left and this chick snuck up on me and was trying to type on my computer right.....


I said WTF?

She said isn't this where you type your request?

Man, I was so astonished I just told her to go....
djh3van 9:43 PM - 12 November, 2006
I was DJing at a club in Springfield, MA and had on "If I ruled the World" by Nas. This girl came up to me and asked me when I was going to play some hip hop ?!?!?!? I responded with " when u go back to whatever sorority u crawled out of "


WWW.MYSPACE.COM
Diamond Duckets 8:14 AM - 13 November, 2006
Quote:
So, I had my SSL set up to my left and I was rockin some wax on the tables to my right and I turn back to my left and this chick snuck up on me and was trying to type on my computer right.....


I said WTF?

She said isn't this where you type your request?

Man, I was so astonished I just told her to go....



lol....thats really good. You know she was just trying to flip the scriz on you! Lying ass slors!!!!!
Spin Dr's 10:29 AM - 13 November, 2006
Quote:
@ Telos,

That's why I hate DJing weddings. They may pay more than my residency at the local club, but I don't have to deal with shit like that.


Well it depends. You get the same shit at a club too. If you communicate with your bride, groom, and their parents on what they would like to hear in your planning sessions then this would less likely happen. It happend to me once and it was from one of the groomsmen. He took a swing at me and then was escorted out. I found him outside taking a leak and told him that it wasn't cool. He called me out, I knocked his ass out and then he got arrested. He then started yelling at the cops and saying why I wasn't arrested and the cop replied..."you assaulted another police officer". He then looked at me and couldn't believe what he did. I laughed and then went back in to the party.
SUBSTANCE 8:57 PM - 13 November, 2006
Oh, the old 'I'm an off duty cop routine'. dick.
DJ Roman Zerano 9:36 PM - 13 November, 2006
^^ Agreed SUBSTANCE. That's lame.
TheMightyThor 11:34 PM - 13 November, 2006
saturday night, playing hip hop at a pretty laid back spot...
dude comes up to me, A DUDE, and asks: "hey, got any you know, whitney houston?" i looked at him and then realized he was serious and said "uhh, sorry i forgot to bring my whitney houston records." he was real disappointed, apparently homosexual, and not drunk enough to be asking something like that.

people have really bad taste in music.
TheMightyThor 11:35 PM - 13 November, 2006
oh yeah, i hate cops. more than NWA.
sG 11:46 PM - 13 November, 2006
i'd drop a whitney joint fo sure if someone actually requested it...

"iiiiiiiii wannna dance wit' somebody..... i wannna feel heat wit' somebody..."
Dj Shamann 3:49 AM - 14 November, 2006
I just sat here and read this entire thread, and it's gold Jerry! GOLD!!!


Everyone of these situations has happened to me and I always thought I was alone, it's good to know that any given Friday night at any given time there are thousands of us going through the exact same shit at the exact same moment.

LOL @ the genreic Sexy back complaint, could it get any truer than that.

Anyway a couple of funny ones.

"can you play that song Beenie Man by Romie"


2 months ago, one of my regular promoters and class act all the way "Shamann, can you play some Reggae?"

Me: um this ...is...Reggae. (even though it was very commercial stuff)

Her: "No some dancehall"

*as Beenie's "King Of The Dancehall* is running out the 20 minute set I just ran with the Mama, Bamma, Giggy and Crash riddims* (as i said ..commercial but dancehall nonetheless)

Cute girl but damn, step out of the burbs for a minute hun.


And once again with another chick, this happened at the opener of a new club I was doing a couple of weeks ago. Since it was a private invite only party and a thirty plus crowd I was instructed to stay away from the reggae.

So this girl comes up to me and says "can you play the Dutty Wine" (which is pretty much up there with the Sexy Back in terms of commercial dancehall) and I say "Sorry hun, but I was told not to dip into the reggae tonight, but as soon as they aren't paying attention I'll slip it in for you"

She says "Um hello...Dutty Wine is not reggae.."

Me: yes it is my dear.

her "um no it's not! I would know!!"

This is some white chick looks like she just bussed in from *Woodbridge (and probably did because that's where the majority of the crowd was from)

Needless to say, poor girl didn't get her "Dutty Wine" after that display

*woodbridge is an italian suburb outside of Toronto*





Sorry for the ramble but this thread is great, and since I've given you a couple of funnier ones, I have to give you a serious piss off situation that is ten times worse than any lame ass patron request.


The so called "DJ" who is like a super villian of annoyance compared to the Sexy Backer.

End of Summer, I'm playing one of my regular spots, things are going good, it's around 12:30 so it's time to start rinsing the latest anthems and this cocksucker has been bugging me all night, constantly talking to me, asking me how my dog is, great weather we're having, you know what would be a good song etc... and motherfucker says "what crew are you with". Now I was once with one of the more known pioneering reggae sets out of Toronto, but I'm solo now (every year or so we put out a special mix Cd but other than that, we've gone our own ways as far as the business goes). So I tell him, he tells me he's from a certain Hip Hop crew which is pretty well known in this city. I say "cool" even though I'm skeptical because of the way this guy is carrying on and also I'm pretty sure said crew was playing across the street that night.

So this guy keeps saying "Dude, what about Sean Paul"

Like fuck, I've played 300 Sean Pauls already and I'm gonna play more, no worries dude. So he keeps on me about "Like Glue" I say "Dude, I just played it maybe 20 minutes ago"..."Play it again boss, trust me the crowd will go off"

First of all the song is fuckin 6 years old, second of all "play it again"? I thought this dude was supposed to be a Dj from a known and respected crew in this city, how's he gonna ask me to do what we all hate and pester me about it too if he's such an expert?

I once had a guy who use to come around a larger pub I did and he would say "Hi I'm (can't remember his name) and I'll be your annoying asshole for the night (as if i would get a kick out of that) and he would pester me all godamn night, once he even bothered me for advice in how to handle the situation with his friend dancing with his girl over in the corner. I'm Dj Shamann, not Dr. Phil.

But that guy was nowhere near as annoying as Dj "I wanna here Sean-A Paul All Night" because there is nothing worse than a know it all "DJ" who makes it a point to bother other Dj's when they're in the middle of their thang! They of all people should know better.



Okay I'm done now, sorry for the essay but this thread is like much needed therapy.
Kool DJ Sheak One 4:33 AM - 14 November, 2006
^^ Its good to vent. Those booth flies are the worst. Even if you do play a request, its like giving a little tiny boulder of crack to a crack whore, it just makes it worse.
Because 99% of the time, that person will come back and be like "O.K., now you know what would really be good now is..."
And no matter what Sean Paul song you play, it wont be the one they were thinking of. Fuck em' if they ain't cuttin' the check.

Don't appease the drunk control freaks of the night peoples, for your own sanity.
nik39 10:01 AM - 14 November, 2006
Quote:
"Play it again boss, trust me the crowd will go off"

I hate those comments. 1st of all, I know the crowd would dance again on that tune. Most of the crowd would dance their ass of if you play the same top40 songs on rotation each hour. But does that mean I am playing the same songs again on a night?
Hell no!! I am not..

* a jukebox
* a cd in repeat mode
* a radio.

2nd, some people do recognize if you play the same song again, they would be very much pissed - as much as I would be if I were them.

So if you (wack) DJ want to go that simple route - please do it. But dont tell me how I should play, unless you are paying me and I am not doing a good job. If both is true I might consider your objections. If not, then please shut up and take care about your nights.
nik39 10:03 AM - 14 November, 2006
.. I remember this one DJ who was always laughing at me cause I came to my gigs with 4 big crates and another bag. He decided it was not necessary, because the crowd only listens to the same shit all the time. He rarely doesnt change the records in his club crates. I prefer spinning a wider range of music and to be able not to be f*cked if the DJ who played before me has played half of the song which I would have in my 2 bags. Well,.. anyway that cat was one of the old and bitter DJs who was only in the game for the money.
djskeetz 11:20 AM - 14 November, 2006
Im starting to look past the rules. no rules. rules are bad.
omega 11:35 AM - 14 November, 2006
oh man, these are great! . . . so here are my two cents: I'm spinning at a 16th bday party for this one-dude. He's cool, and all his friends there are also hella cool . . . the family is Persian, and they decide that since they're paying me, I should play some of "their" music. The kids don't wanna hear this shit, mind you, but I figure, what the hell, these people have been more than accomodating and deserve to hear a few of their trax . . . The party kids agree that it's an acceptable compromise, and allow the grown-ups to have their share of fun . . . after 15-20 minutes of their music, which was probably a little too accomodating, I decide to switch it right back up so the birthday boy can get his dance with his friends. It's all good . . . but later the grown-up folks come right back and insist on some more of their music . . . ok, maybe this time i just won't play that stuff for so long. I'm playing some song I've never heard before, it's not bad though, and i decide to have a little fun with it . . . since the cd is in my laptop (I'm running serato, as if this forum didn't already give that away:))I decide to get the next track in the mix:) I start skratching it up a little and drop the next track in my own unique way . . . i start to juggle a little, once the song's been mixed . . . when i get this crazy ass lady come up to me: "No NO NO!!!! Don't do that to THIS music . . . It's not American Music and that's not what to do with it!" I'd been nice enough to play their music, and even stay thirty minutes after the clock, and money, had stopped . . . but when this happened i quickly turned the tables off and announced the party's ending . . . what can you do :)
Diamond Duckets 8:51 AM - 15 November, 2006
If this thread wasn't around I'd have serious therapy bills. I alway read up on the new ones after every hellish gig I play.

Newbie DJ: Yo man! Where's your mic?
Me: I don't have one, I use these for djing (show him my hands and turnaround to mix)
Newbie DJ: (Pokes me repeatedly in the ribs) Yo, lemme plug my comp in and rip some reggae.
Me: No man. I'm sorry. (Turnaround again to get back into my rhythm)
Newbie DJ: (Pokes me again in the ribs)
Me: Dude, what?
Newbie DJ: (Pulls out a mic from his coat pocket) Lemme plug this shit in, son. I wanna rock the crowd, dog.
Me: This isn't happening. Aren't you a dj? Don't you hate when people pester you while you're mixing? You follow me?
Newbie DJ: Yo, you know what would be raw. Drop "Snap Yo' Fingaz". Everyone will go crazy!
Me: (I can't wait to go home and write on the Scratch Forum)
dj solomon 7:08 PM - 15 November, 2006
Im thinking at this point, one of the Serato moderators should make this a sticky and post it somewhere around top of the list... its obviously only getting better every week as new dumb ass request seekers test our patience and their levels of stupidity!

Keep em coming!
djaction 7:58 PM - 15 November, 2006
Girls (mostly latin) that normally speak with NO accent whatsoever that DOG me to play RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
EGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAETON.. seriously they add like 50 syllables in the R.. if these SAME chicks ask for reggae they pronounce it 'reggae' boom, 2 syllables.
masta monk 9:17 PM - 15 November, 2006
I actually dont know how many times ive gotten every one of these crazy requests one of my nights that I play is a mashup night, all night. and it never fails ths one person mostly guys will come up and say
dude:"why dont you just play the original song?"
me: "its a mashup night everythings going to be different"
dude: "nobody wants to hear this shit"
the dancefloor is packed by the way

one time this one dude got all pissed off because I mashed up yung joc with the all american rejects
dude: mayne why you messin up this song
me:smile and do the "myheadphones are on and I cant hear you motion. classic move by the way. ha !

OHH damn !!! this just past weekend a random ass dude comes up to me and tells me hes a dj. then he tells me he uses serato too and starts talking about what he does and stuff . and then he asked me if he could bring in his external HD and rip a few tracks from my library!!!!! has this happened to anybody???
masta monk 9:18 PM - 15 November, 2006
I actually dont know how many times ive gotten every one of these crazy requests!!!!

one of my nights that I play is a mashup night, all night. and it never fails ths one person mostly guys will come up and say
dude:"why dont you just play the original song?"
me: "its a mashup night everythings going to be different"
dude: "nobody wants to hear this shit"
the dancefloor is packed by the way

one time this one dude got all pissed off because I mashed up yung joc with the all american rejects
dude: mayne why you messin up this song
me:smile and do the "myheadphones are on and I cant hear you motion. classic move by the way. ha !

OHH damn !!! this just past weekend a random ass dude comes up to me and tells me hes a dj. then he tells me he uses serato too and starts talking about what he does and stuff . and then he asked me if he could bring in his external HD and rip a few tracks from my library!!!!! has this happened to anybody???
Kool DJ Sheak One 9:54 PM - 15 November, 2006
Quote:
Im thinking at this point, one of the Serato moderators should make this a sticky and post it somewhere around top of the list... its obviously only getting better every week as new dumb ass request seekers test our patience and their levels of stupidity!

Keep em coming!


I second that Emotion.
Gimme the sticky icky!
Dj Shamann 10:54 PM - 15 November, 2006
Quote:
Girls (mostly latin) that normally speak with NO accent whatsoever that DOG me to play RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
EGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAETON..




LMFAO!! Brap!


That's exactly how they do it. And why are Reggaeton people THE MOST annoying of them all? Every four seconds they wanna here RRrrrrrrrrrrrreggae-Tone-ge!
Kool DJ Sheak One 11:00 PM - 15 November, 2006
Reggaeton people dont like dancehall either.Even though it is the blasphimous, bastard stepchild of dancehall.
I saw a flier that said"The best in Reggaetown" So thats what I call it now.
Wont you take me to... Reggaetown?!
DJBlisk 11:24 PM - 15 November, 2006
I got one!

So I spun at this club once about 2 years ago and actually have a few funny stories from it among the other clubs that I play at. Solomon actually was probably one of their regulars there so I don't how know he gets to play whatever he wants... But thats just me hating on his status.

So its early and I run through some old school breaks etc. The crowd starts coming in and I start moving things along.

Just as i drop Biggee's "juicy" the owner comes up to me with a huge smile and asks
Owner: "Can you play happy hiphop"

What the fuck is happy hiphop?

After which I drop Mary J. Blige's "Real Love" remix. He comes right back to me and says, the same fucking thing.

Again what the fuck is happy hiphop? That being said he had the biggest pissed off face you could imagine for most of the night.

Next this drunk girl comes up while I'm playing Suzanne Vega's "Tom's Diner remix" and asks me if I can play something more of a beat? More of a beat?!!!!

Five minutes later a second girl comes up to me and asks for Madonna's "Like a virgin", I proceed to politely tell her that I don't have that in my crate. She gives me this astonished face and said that I must be lying. Everybody who spins at this club must have Madonna. I told her that I didn't, she then proceeds to run down a laundry list of Sorority songs for me to play. After I say to each and everyone, she drops the line that her boyfriend is one of the owners and that she'll get him. I shrugg her off and keep playing. She comes back and yells at me that she told her boyfriend and that he personally said to play the song! I still didn't play it and told her to bring her owner boyfriend up. He comes up with the guy who hired me and tells me to play the song, I tell him I don't have it and he throws a fucking tantrum at his mate about highering a ghetto dj. Fucking ridiculous. I didn't play the song becuase I really didn't even have it. Also remember that this was 2 to 3 years ago when serato wasn't even born yet and I was lugging around crates. I was living in LA at the time and only flew with 2 crates up to SF.

By the end of night I had pissed off most club owners becuase I played too much ghetto hiphop. Mind you the most ghetto song I played was Biggee's "juicy".

hahahaha.
Kool DJ Sheak One 11:41 PM - 15 November, 2006
Happy Hip-Hop=Britney Spears^^

I had this twat come up to me and said his girlfriend bet him that I didnt have any Madonna. I flashed her my Material Girl 12" and we split the winnings, ten bucks!
DJBlisk 12:22 AM - 16 November, 2006
hahaha. I acutally played that shit later. slave 4 you is sick.
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 8:13 AM - 16 November, 2006
they should make a poster or glow in the dark banner to hang behind you at your gig... kinda like a Starbucks menu... it'll say something like:


Sexy Back.........$ 3.00
Laffy Taffy..........$ 4.00
Lean With It.......$ 5.00
YMCA...............$ 5.00
Macarena..........$ 50.00
Chicken Dance..$100.00


so if anyone has a request, just point at the menu while holding out the tip jar :)
m0rph! 9:43 AM - 16 November, 2006
Quote:
they should make a poster or glow in the dark banner to hang behind you at your gig... kinda like a Starbucks menu... it'll say something like:


Sexy Back.........$ 3.00
Laffy Taffy..........$ 4.00
Lean With It.......$ 5.00
YMCA...............$ 5.00
Macarena..........$ 50.00
Chicken Dance..$100.00


so if anyone has a request, just point at the menu while holding out the tip jar :)

Now that is an idea!! But come on... Sexy Back should be at least $10... ;-)
DJJOHNNYM 10:42 AM - 16 November, 2006
I carry Madonna's Vogue....
Kool DJ Sheak One 10:56 AM - 16 November, 2006
I feel you Mike. Something along the lines of
Celine Dion-$1000
Barry Manilow-$2200
Kenny G-$160,000
These are higher caliber, schmaltzyer cats of course. www.ifilm.com
ral 4:00 PM - 16 November, 2006
Quote:
they should make a poster or glow in the dark banner to hang behind you at your gig... kinda like a Starbucks menu... it'll say something like:


Sexy Back.........$ 3.00
Laffy Taffy..........$ 4.00
Lean With It.......$ 5.00
YMCA...............$ 5.00
Macarena..........$ 50.00
Chicken Dance..$100.00


so if anyone has a request, just point at the menu while holding out the tip jar :)


ha ha ha!
Dj KaGeN 4:25 PM - 16 November, 2006
that should be a T-Shirt.
monkeybiz 6:08 PM - 16 November, 2006
Keep taking requests from the "menu" before you play it, and you could collect your "fee" several times over from everyone thinking they're the only one making that request.
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 6:30 PM - 16 November, 2006
Quote:
Keep taking requests from the "menu" before you play it, and you could collect your "fee" several times over from everyone thinking they're the only one making that request.


haha :) ... then when u finally do play that requested song, there'll be like 30 different people sayin to each other, "yo dawg, they're playin my song!" :)
concorde_pilot 6:46 PM - 16 November, 2006
sexy should be way more expensive then laffy taffy
djivanlopez.com 2:28 PM - 18 November, 2006
The menu IDEA is awesome.... I might just use that for Quinceañeras and school events!
KONUPE 4:01 PM - 18 November, 2006
last night a girl komes up to me " would you pllllleeeeaaassseee play show stoppa by danity kane?" mind you im in the 120 bpm range so I say no... the girl" plleeaasseee i will give you five dollars if you play it...


NOPE!!!
TheMightyThor 6:31 PM - 18 November, 2006
haha, that song is one of the worst i've heard in a while, girls are bangin, but garbage music. f diddy.
Kool DJ Sheak One 6:59 PM - 18 November, 2006
Quote:
the girl" plleeaasseee i will give you five dollars if you play it...



Never ever ever play a song if someone says they will give you money after you play it. Demand money up front. They will never give you money after the fact.
Only accept cash in hand before. And then you can decide whether or not to play it.
I had some fuck for brains say he would give me a twenty if I played michael jackson. I said sure, played a jacko track, then had to hunt dude down and he was like "well I didnt like the song you played after that".
Fuckin rich fucks are the tightest liars there are.
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 7:34 PM - 18 November, 2006
ok, so i saw this black dry eraser board at this one restuarant and they used this glow in the dark marker to list their evening's specials....under a blacklight, it looked tight.

so, maybe if there are those who are a lil shy/emarrassed to mentions prices..... at least you can list the songs that you know fo show that you'll get requests (like sexybrokeback, and laffy, and snoop, ditty, debbie gibson, bee gees, villiage people, vanilla, milli) at least they'll take a glance before poking you in the rib to say the obvious 'hey, r u gonna play (fill in obvious song here)?'
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 7:38 PM - 18 November, 2006
or, if you gots tha clams to fork out for a large flat panel monitor to display your prepare crate, or windows explorer of the obvious tunes you be planning to play/mix/cut/mash-up anyways....i dunno, now im feelin like some human jukebox.
Kool DJ Sheak One 8:23 PM - 18 November, 2006
Quote:
or, if you gots tha clams to fork out for a large flat panel monitor to display your prepare crate, or windows explorer of the obvious tunes you be planning to play/mix/cut/mash-up anyways....i dunno, now im feelin like some human jukebox.

It would turn into a massive "requestathon". But it might be good for weddings tho.
What if you play all the songs on the black board, would the music stop because you had to think of something to play on your own?
sixxx 8:35 PM - 18 November, 2006
I stopped taking requests in person a long time ago. I just direct them to a nice little note pad because
a) If they don't know the song, they can't hum it, sing it or whatever.
b) If I don't want to play it, I just won't.
c) Some mofos have bad breath! I hate that shit.. brush your teeth before you request shit. hahahaha
d) Gives the girls the opportunity to write their number down, etc if they want to. lol
nik39 8:43 PM - 18 November, 2006
Quote:
I stopped taking requests in person a long time ago. I just direct them to a nice little note pad because

Trying the same here.

Its so funny how *bad* the spelling of some people is. Even if english (mostly) is not their 1st language, its still a bit embarrassing... however, still funny for the DJ. Running around in "hiphop" clothes - then knowing nothing about it or the language of the songs they are mostly listening to.
Idlemind1999 8:44 PM - 18 November, 2006
At an office Holiday Party, a co-worker who often engaged in email wars with me decided to send his Stepford wife (en.wikipedia.org) to tell me that her husband thinks the music is too loud. I said," I know there are no rockets or or high-level physics involved, but tell your husband that rocket scientist or not, he should be smart enough to not complain about the volume when he's standing in front of a speaker."

Another time at a club with a fully enclosed DJ Booth/Room a girl stumbled in and asked who she had to blow in order to get her CD played...

Like 2Pac said, "...I don't want it if its that easy..."
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 9:23 PM - 18 November, 2006
haha :)

i love a good email war with co-workers!

especially if there's a huge audience (and you know you're gonna win)....and it snow balls into a bigger audience, the higher the ladder the levels of mngment goes, as each email go back n forth, mine with pure data and failure results and pictures of defects, while my opponents just blow off a steam of laundry lists of lame excuses.
Thundercat 10:06 PM - 18 November, 2006
Never let facts get in the way of a good argument. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit. That's my motto!

The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose.
- James A. Baldwin
dj nick dean 7:30 AM - 20 November, 2006
Quote:
last night a girl komes up to me " would you pllllleeeeaaassseee play show stoppa by danity kane?" mind you im in the 120 bpm range so I say no... the girl" plleeaasseee i will give you five dollars if you play it...


NOPE!!!




yup,exact same thing happened to me like 2 weeks ago only the girl got sooo pissed off when I wouldn't play it. By the end of the night she was completly hammered, she came up to me to request it again and couldn't even say what she wanted to hear....thank god.
Kool DJ Sheak One 8:55 PM - 22 November, 2006
So last night, this dude comes up and says "so where's the other dj?" (Mind you I have been djing this place every Tuesday, for the past year and a half.) I said "well, he is famous now, part of a rock group."
Dude:So you gonna play old school?
Me:Im gonna play everything.
Dude:Is this old school?
Me:Sure!
DJBlisk 6:02 AM - 3 December, 2006
This thread needs a bump with a new story.

This girl comes up to me requests Lil Wayne's "Stuntin like my Daddy". I tell her that I don't have it becuase I hate Lil Wayne but I'll play T.I.'s "What you know about that" for her. She gives me this "ewwww" stare and tells me... "No way, that song is so ghetto!"
Idlemind1999 6:07 AM - 3 December, 2006
Quote:
This thread needs a bump with a new story.

This girl comes up to me requests Lil Wayne's "Stuntin like my Daddy". I tell her that I don't have it becuase I hate Lil Wayne but I'll play T.I.'s "What you know about that" for her. She gives me this "ewwww" stare and tells me... "No way, that song is so ghetto!"


Times like that make me wish I still carried alot of vinyl... I woulda taken one of my old PM Dawn records and thrown it at her....
sG 6:53 AM - 3 December, 2006
Quote:
She gives me this "ewwww" stare and tells me... "No way, that song is so ghetto!"


Hah!

btw the hate "Stuntin..." ... well not hate... that's too strong of a word but, yeah, I don't think I'll ever be playing that.
Kool DJ Sheak One 7:36 AM - 3 December, 2006
I gotta relay this story my friend told me. He was djing about a month ago in Hollywood and he played a Lupe Fiasco track. A few minutes later, this dude came up and was like "Oh shit!, you took me back with that Lupe man.Thats an old jam!" wtf? My friend just nodded and said "Yah, its like a month old already, old school"
And by the way:
Pm Dawn records make great frisbees.

Its great to be post 420!
ral 3:49 AM - 4 December, 2006
after playing tons of hiphop 'radio' music, a dude walks up to me and say, can you play some white music? (fergie's oh snap playing on a background)
matt212 5:03 AM - 4 December, 2006
Private party, while playing old school hip hop set (It takes two playing), dude asked me to play "Strokin". WTF???, how could I have even transitioned that one is beyond me.
DJ A-NAK 5:09 AM - 4 December, 2006
this sums it up....

10 Things a DJ should NEVER have to hear...

1. PLAY SOMETHING GOOD...SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO!

The DJ has to play for more than one person...So what you hate may be another's favorite song and EVERYTHING played here can be danced to one way or another.

2. WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A "BEAT"

BE SERIOUS! We know of NO songs played in a club that don't have some sort of BEAT!

3. I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS....

PLEASE don't sing for the DJ. They have to put up with smoke filled rooms and dangerous decibel levels all night long... Do them a favor and DON'T give them a rendition of your favorite song.

4. EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT!

Oh, sure ... You polled everyone in the club and, as their spokesperson, you're requesting the song.

5. EVERYBODY WILL DANCE IF YOU PLAY IT!

The DJ won't. I guess that blows a hole in that theory!

6. I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT!

Why settle for one night? Buy the album and get laid for a whole month!

7. I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT!

The ONLY people who can get away with that statement write the DJ's paycheck!

8. WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

It's a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the DJ to recite the name of every record in the booth!

9. HEY, MAN, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS!

It's NOT advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some people do anyway)! HOWEVER, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it STILL contradicts the statement!

10. PLAY IT SOON, BECAUSE WE'RE LEAVING!

If your gonna leave after he plays it, why shouldn't he wait till the very last song so you stay all night?!
matt212 5:21 AM - 4 December, 2006
One more....

Girl: Do you have that song called "Ballin'"

Me: Never heard of it.
DJ Jinnai 6:23 AM - 4 December, 2006
Random Guy:

"Dr. Dre is not Rap! Play Real Rap music like D4L!"

...A little bit of me died after hearing that.
DJ Stuart (AR) 7:03 AM - 4 December, 2006
Drunk girl: Can you please play the record backwards?

www.djstuart.com.ar
sG 7:33 AM - 4 December, 2006
Quote:
this sums it up....

10 Things a DJ should NEVER have to hear...

1. PLAY SOMETHING GOOD...SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO!

The DJ has to play for more than one person...So what you hate may be another's favorite song and EVERYTHING played here can be danced to one way or another.

2. WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A "BEAT"

BE SERIOUS! We know of NO songs played in a club that don't have some sort of BEAT!

3. I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS....

PLEASE don't sing for the DJ. They have to put up with smoke filled rooms and dangerous decibel levels all night long... Do them a favor and DON'T give them a rendition of your favorite song.

4. EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT!

Oh, sure ... You polled everyone in the club and, as their spokesperson, you're requesting the song.

5. EVERYBODY WILL DANCE IF YOU PLAY IT!

The DJ won't. I guess that blows a hole in that theory!

6. I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT!

Why settle for one night? Buy the album and get laid for a whole month!

7. I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT!

The ONLY people who can get away with that statement write the DJ's paycheck!

8. WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

It's a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the DJ to recite the name of every record in the booth!

9. HEY, MAN, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS!

It's NOT advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some people do anyway)! HOWEVER, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it STILL contradicts the statement!

10. PLAY IT SOON, BECAUSE WE'RE LEAVING!

If your gonna leave after he plays it, why shouldn't he wait till the very last song so you stay all night?!



Man... this is been posted like 8x now.
dj omer 8:15 AM - 4 December, 2006
2 weeks ago:

she:can you play song when guy fall down from his motorcycle

me:?

she:you don't have that song

me: no (still asking myself,,,wtf)

and then she leave.....later i remember the song is P DIDDY-I'LL BE MISSING YOU (in video guy fall down from his motorcycle)

Next was last saturday:

Two dudes come to my dj booth:

First guy:hey man can you play something realy new for me (i played some new house tunes)

Me:sure,next song is for you

Me:so i drope house classic MARSHALL JEFFERSON-MOVE YOUR BODY,and i say to him this ones is for you,and it's brand new.

The guy turns to hes' friend and say this is brand new and dj plays for me,then he start scream to some girls infront of dj booth and say's this songs is for me....

The second guy come's to me and say:i can't beleive he's my friend
nik39 11:33 AM - 4 December, 2006
Quote:
Random Guy:

"Dr. Dre is not Rap! Play Real Rap music like D4L!"

...A little bit of me died after hearing that.

eek!
DJUnknown 3:24 PM - 4 December, 2006
Quote:
Private party, while playing old school hip hop set (It takes two playing), dude asked me to play "Strokin". WTF???, how could I have even transitioned that one is beyond me.


While it might not be a good idea mix those two songs at a party, in my head I can see them mixing well, I'll try it when I get home.
matt212 3:48 PM - 4 December, 2006
Post it when you're done. Might be a great mix.
Monk-A 4:27 PM - 4 December, 2006
"girl comes up to me and asks if i can play some Jackosn 5 - i point to the turntable where "I want you back" by the Jackosn 5 is currently spinning and blaring out of the speakers.

Also had a girl come up to me and ask me if i "knew who Jurrasic 5 were?" So totally staright face i say no, and she goes on to explain how they are this fantatsic throw back hip hop group - and proceeds to lecture me on "REAL hip hop and how i shouldn't play this commercial crap" bear in mind i've been playign ugly duckling and ozomatli alongside some classic 90's ish,

then as she walks off i drop "Concrete Schoolyard" and grin smugly at her red little spoon shaped face...
Kool DJ Sheak One 4:58 PM - 4 December, 2006
^^ Its like someone going to NASA headquarters and telling them how to build a spaceship, right before a launch.
Kool DJ Sheak One 5:02 PM - 4 December, 2006
I always get a kick outta the ol' classic line
"Play track number 11!"
Like the artist has a song called track 11. Or that you have memorized the cd tracklisting and names of the tracks in order on the cd. Eventhough you are playin a 12".
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 6:10 PM - 4 December, 2006
hey, that's the exact track my wife keeps telling me to play. # 11 of that Michael Buble cd. i ripped it, re-titled all the tracks, and lost that cd. i ask her to hummm it, but she can't remember how it went. (that's a good word huh.... hummmmm'r :)
dj solomon 8:12 PM - 4 December, 2006
Quote:
I always get a kick outta the ol' classic line
"Play track number 11!"
Like the artist has a song called track 11. Or that you have memorized the cd tracklisting and names of the tracks in order on the cd. Eventhough you are playin a 12".


Blur, "Song 2"?
Dj KaGeN 8:32 PM - 4 December, 2006
if they're requesting track #'s from a certain CD, I like that they actually bought the CD. Instead of downloading it for free somewhere.
Thundercat 8:51 PM - 4 December, 2006
Quote:
hey, that's the exact track my wife keeps telling me to play. # 11 of that Michael Buble cd. i ripped it, re-titled all the tracks, and lost that cd. i ask her to hummm it, but she can't remember how it went. (that's a good word huh.... hummmmm'r :)


The Way You Look Tonight or Song For You, both decent songs. HTH <eg>
Thundercat 8:58 PM - 4 December, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
Private party, while playing old school hip hop set (It takes two playing), dude asked me to play "Strokin". WTF???, how could I have even transitioned that one is beyond me.


While it might not be a good idea mix those two songs at a party, in my head I can see them mixing well, I'll try it when I get home.


Actually, after a quick mix it doesn't sound horrible. With time to work with it and proper filters & time stretching it would probably make a neat little mash. How's about a little "Take 2 Strokes" mash-up contest?
matt212 9:58 PM - 4 December, 2006
So that is how mashups are born.

1. Take notes of what songs you were playing at the time.
2. Write down the song somebody wanted you to play while you were playing the first song.
3. Go home to mix the two and see if it works.

Yup, that's the formula right there. And everybody thought is was the DJ's coming up with these excellent mashups, while all along it was the pesky requestor giving us ideas. LOL.
ral 10:37 PM - 4 December, 2006
i think u still need to be IN key
Kool DJ Sheak One 10:55 PM - 4 December, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
I always get a kick outta the ol' classic line
"Play track number 11!"
Like the artist has a song called track 11. Or that you have memorized the cd tracklisting and names of the tracks in order on the cd. Eventhough you are playin a 12".


Blur, "Song 2"?

HA!
I can just hear that guy sayin it. With a serious look saying"you know which one".
???
Audio1 11:46 PM - 4 December, 2006
I was playing old skool hiphop and party jams at my homie's monthly up in Portland, Oregon. Bear in mind, The floor is packed and were just dropping all kinds of jams, in the 100-120bpm range and some chick comes up and asks "When are you gonna play "Im Bossy" by Kelis?" Im getting to old for this. hahahah. ~(0)-(0)~ Great thread!
Audio1 11:47 PM - 4 December, 2006
I doubt Babe Ruth's "The Mexican" will sound good with "Im Bossy".
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 2:15 AM - 5 December, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
hey, that's the exact track my wife keeps telling me to play. # 11 of that Michael Buble cd. i ripped it, re-titled all the tracks, and lost that cd. i ask her to hummm it, but she can't remember how it went. (that's a good word huh.... hummmmm'r :)


The Way You Look Tonight or Song For You, both decent songs. HTH <eg>


i swear, i played em both (at this one gig...her sister's wedding) and she said 'naw, that ain't it'.... whatever.... there must be some hidden easter egg of a track on her cd then :)
DJUnknown 3:31 AM - 5 December, 2006
Quote:
So that is how mashups are born.

1. Take notes of what songs you were playing at the time.
2. Write down the song somebody wanted you to play while you were playing the first song.
3. Go home to mix the two and see if it works.

Yup, that's the formula right there. And everybody thought is was the DJ's coming up with these excellent mashups, while all along it was the pesky requestor giving us ideas. LOL.


LOL, the mix of the two actually sounds half way decent, I did live joint just now but did not tape it, the bass lines can tend to sound muddy at parts, but if you drop the bass out of "IT TAKES TWO" and it blends well..."I be stokin AH/YEAH...I stroke it to the east AH I stroked it to the west YEAH...well just remember when you start making love IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE THING GO RIGHT...well just remember when I start making love my woman I don't stop until I HIT IT"
Request_This_Ladies 6:28 AM - 5 December, 2006
I can't wait for the Mashups to phase out... I don't know how many more times I can stand to hear an Eminem or Black Eye Pea accapella set to some 80's beat.
djsparky 1:19 PM - 5 December, 2006
Quote:
I still have this shirt I found @ journey's years ago, never been able to find it since.

It was Dark Navy Blue with 4 DJ logos and it says "I Don't Do Requests"


hey I know a guy that can print up shirts with anything you want on them, checkout www.jmclothing.com just shoot him an email and say you know dj sparky they range from $12-$20 depending on if you want full color or not, in addition to djing I also run live sound and end up doing a lot of underground hip hop shows, I had him make me a shirt that says "I'll turn your mic up when you learn how to use it" stupid bastards still ask me to turn their mic up but it usually gets a few people in the audiance to laugh

as far as stupid comments go you guys forgot to mention the most annoying part of people making requests, it's when they start off their request with "can I make a request", it's kind of like someone asking you if they can ask a question, it makes me want to bash my head against a wall

anyway as annoying and stupid as people are I still think it is worth it, where else can you make $100-$300 per hour to get free drinks and food while you party, it doesn't get any better than that.
Dustin Fields 3:39 PM - 5 December, 2006
My story pales in comparison...

I was at a 2-story venue, and downstairs there was a gay and lesbian singer/songwriter night, upstairs was my drum and bass event. So I'm spinning a dnb set when the downstairs event ends, and all of the people leftover came upstairs to hear what all of the racket was... So this shaved-head chick comes up to me and is like "can't you play something funky?"

Of course I'm playing liquid funk dnb at the moment, so I'm like "this isn't soulful enough for you?"

She said "well usually they play slower stuff on Tuesday nights" (which wasn't true anyways, it had been my event for over a year).

So I dropped the tune (which was at 45) into 33, and the vocal all sounded like a fat walrus trying to sing, and the amen break was all slow.... And I said "Here, is that slow enough for ya?" And she stormed off!!
DJenerate 4:04 AM - 6 December, 2006
I play a lot of middle school dances and end up with 6,7,8th graders for three hours at a time. Perhaps some of the dumbest questions ever...
-What song is next? (The next song! No what is it? The one after this..Thanks!)
-Can you play #4 on Hannah Montana (What's the title? I don't know. You want me to play a song you don't know? Yes.)
-Can you play Grillz? (No.)

Also, in Florida we get a real mix of tastes and when they say "Can you play something new? or something upbeat" Like what? I don't know. Well if you don't know, what you want, how do I know what you want? OK, how about Billie Jean or Kenny Chesney? (WTF???)
Thundercat 4:24 AM - 6 December, 2006
Quote:
-Can you play #4 on Hannah Montana (What's the title? I don't know. You want me to play a song you don't know? Yes.)


Pumpin' Up The Party (124 BPM)

Shut up, my daughter is a fan so I have the CD (she's 5).
Request_This_Ladies 6:03 AM - 6 December, 2006
I don't know if anyone said this one:

"I want to request a song... Can I look at your music?"
DJ Reaction 10:15 AM - 6 December, 2006
i had some fool ask me for SMACK THAT last week as the song was already playing and about 30 seconds into it, then his gf runs up to him and says "this is it hun nevermind" haha the moron didnt even know what song he was asking for
DJ Reaction 10:17 AM - 6 December, 2006
Quote:
Can you play (insert song here that doesn't go with whatever it is you're currently playing)? I'm about to leave and I want to hear it before we go.

Hows about you stay at the damn party like everyone else and you MIGHT get to hear your song if you leave me the hell alone!?


haha totally, or they say" can you play _________ " and im like, um I already did, and they say "oh we just got here" then my response is, GET HERE EARLIER NEXT TIME
Kool DJ Sheak One 10:56 AM - 6 December, 2006
Well, after another long night, dealing with a pioneer 600 with wacked out effects buttons, I have this brilliant conversation of me and a group of girls to report:
Girls:"Can I request a song?"
Me:"What"
Girls:"ANYTHING Hip-Hop"
Me:"Hip-Hop is not a song"
Girls:"Whatever!"
DJ Book 12:09 PM - 6 December, 2006
My two penn'orth -

Bear in mind, during the following, my booth doubles as a kitchen in the daytime and, as a consequence, I usually have a trickle of people popping in and out which I can do little about, unless they start getting seriously unpleasant or abusive or something.

So, am playing, drunk girls stumbles into kitchen/booth

DG - "I've lost my shoes."
DJB- [And this becomes my problem when, exactly?]
DG - "Can I borrow yours?"
DJB- [Aside from the fact that they wouldn't fit, in fact . . . why am I even thinking about this] . . . "No."
DG - "Please, all you have to do is stand there all night . . ."
DJB- [Which I will continue to do wearing my own damn shoes] . . ."No."
DG - You've got red shoes . . .
DJB- [Well, golly gosh, I hadn't noticed] . . . "Uh huh"
DG - "Where did you get them?"
DJB- "I took them off your Mum when that house fell on her."
DG - "Huh."
DJB- (Turns volume up on headphones)"Thankyou, I'll be here all week."
SpinThis! 3:49 PM - 6 December, 2006
Quote:
haha the moron didnt even know what song he was asking for

haha... classic example of pussywhipped.
TheMightyThor 7:24 PM - 6 December, 2006
lastnight...

"yall don't play any rap?" Tribe or something playing on a night called Hip Hop Tuesdays. and i said "no, we don't play rap music."
allenbina 4:14 AM - 7 December, 2006
im surprised no one has mentioned this. i get a request for some song i've never heard before. i politely tell the ho i dont have the song and she gives me this look like ive said the most ridiculous statement ever. looks me in the eyes and yells, "isn't that a fucking computer, download it!"
Request_This_Ladies 4:59 AM - 7 December, 2006
Here's the TOPPER:

"Can I get two Buds and a Jack & Coke?" Do I look like a f*cking bartender?
allenbina 6:04 AM - 7 December, 2006
just thought of another one. im getting ready for a batmitzfa (pre residency days) and i meet the girl, act like the stereotypical dj for her and ask her for a list of the type of music she wants to hear. mind you, im actually meeting her parents to figure out how much they want to pay me. she plays it cool and says ... whatever, i dunno, whatever is on [local pop radio station]. along comes the day, im starting up the party, the kids are filing in and they start standing, not dancing. im playing all the pop hits and getting nothing. one kid comes up to me and lets me know how no one is dancing and i suck, then requests Israeli music. by now, the birthday girl is taking out her shitty party on me getting mad at me for not having any Israeli music and all im thinking is how glad i am that i had that conversation in front of her parents.
allenbina 6:06 AM - 7 December, 2006
by the way, this thread is brilliant! the next best line i like is "can i help you dj" with a jerking forward motion as though the alcohol she has consumed can help her dj.
nik39 10:59 AM - 7 December, 2006
Quote:
Here's the TOPPER:

"Can I get two Buds and a Jack & Coke?" Do I look like a f*cking bartender?

Hahha :)
concorde_pilot 2:14 PM - 7 December, 2006
Quote:
Quote:
Here's the TOPPER:

"Can I get two Buds and a Jack & Coke?" Do I look like a f*cking bartender?

Hahha :)
word :D
DJPremium 3:51 PM - 7 December, 2006
This has happened to me several times:

Wannabe dj dude carrying 2 12"s: Yo, I like how you mix
Me: thx
W DJ Guy: can i play a few joints, i'm a dj too..
Me: get the fuck outta here..i don't let anyone else play
W Dj guy: come on man
Me : no..

Waht the fuck are these people thinking?? I know it can be hard to get a gig but this is not the way..
J_Static 9:01 PM - 7 December, 2006
"Hi, Mr DJ, is this coat check?"

Yea you beezy coat checks come equipped with a five figure DJ setup where you can hang your $25 dollar knock off FENDI jacket you got from the Swapmeet.....

Kick Rox
DJ Upperkuts 2:41 AM - 9 December, 2006
Aight everyone else posted so.. In short My boy and I was spinning a set one night at the crib. Steped out to blaze a L and heard music... You know how we all do it. We can smell a house party miles away! It's crazy now I Think back but we we filled up some records bags and Jetted to the music... We basically walked in like we knew the 100+ people and sho nuff, TABLES... The other djs showed us love and let my boy on first hr or so goes by and My turn to throw down a set. The party was crazy E was big back then so by then everyone was fked up. Im into my set tho and I guess it was party over bc im cueing up a record when (EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWKKK) Needles pulled off the record the father takes my headphones off and threw everyone in the house out. Funny as fuck......Alot funnier if you were there...True story. Probably one ot he best house partys I was at tho. LMAO One
Idlemind1999 3:49 AM - 9 December, 2006
Quote:
Aight everyone else posted so.. In short My boy and I was spinning a set one night at the crib. Steped out to blaze a L and heard music... You know how we all do it. We can smell a house party miles away! It's crazy now I Think back but we we filled up some records bags and Jetted to the music... We basically walked in like we knew the 100+ people and sho nuff, TABLES... The other djs showed us love and let my boy on first hr or so goes by and My turn to throw down a set. The party was crazy E was big back then so by then everyone was fked up. Im into my set tho and I guess it was party over bc im cueing up a record when (EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWKKK) Needles pulled off the record the father takes my headphones off and threw everyone in the house out. Funny as fuck......Alot funnier if you were there...True story. Probably one ot he best house partys I was at tho. LMAO One


sounds like the Sean Paul Video....

"I tol' you 'bout bongin' on de dam pipes... dassit.. partee done! Get up out my house"
ral 12:15 AM - 10 December, 2006
some chick: do you have (insert ballroom song)? do you also know how to dance?
i was like: damn! i got 2 left feet!
djdluvv 12:06 PM - 10 December, 2006
What I do is sample Maceo's "Hoe sit down" acc and keep it handy so when a dumb bitch ask for a dumb song b4 she can walk away i play it like three times.
Kool DJ Sheak One 3:12 AM - 11 December, 2006
Last Night: "Are those real records?"
dazedrec 5:16 AM - 11 December, 2006
while "I wanna f**k you" by Akon was playing, a girl comes up and says: "Can you take it easy with the profanity?" I never laughed so hard at somebody!
dazedrec 5:17 AM - 11 December, 2006
"you're fakin' it" (referring to me scratching with serato records)
Audio1 1:01 AM - 12 December, 2006
Quote:
while "I wanna f**k you" by Akon was playing, a girl comes up and says: "Can you take it easy with the profanity?" I never laughed so hard at somebody!


hahahahha. They are so used to the radio version than when they hear the OG version, They are shocked. Even my wife was... Oh well. Akon has something on his mind, Dirty or not! If your in a club, Expect the unexpected.
allenbina 6:30 PM - 12 December, 2006
for those of us who do clubs: the lights are on, the place is being cleared out, some background music is playing or the music is off completely, you're standing waiting to get paid so you can leave ... and someone requests beyonce.
DJBlisk 12:14 AM - 13 December, 2006
I hate waiting to get paid.
s42000 2:53 AM - 13 December, 2006
Recently

Dude : He man my girlfriend is missing.
Me : Call 911 and file a missing persons report.
Dude : Announce on the mic, that if anyone has seen her to call me.
Me : Everyone knows your number ?
Dude : Duhhhhhh, announce the number too.
Me : Duhhhhhh, Your girl's in the boysroom spitting on some dude's mic.

Dude dashes to the bathroom and never seen again.
Dj Chinn 4:28 AM - 13 December, 2006
Quote:
for those of us who do clubs: the lights are on, the place is being cleared out, some background music is playing or the music is off completely, you're standing waiting to get paid so you can leave ... and someone requests beyonce.


Man I have had that happen numerous times. Ill have my Serato unhooked or un hooking and ALWAYS some girl will come and say hey can you play one more song!

hmmm.. NO!! Leave!!
dj disturbed 4:34 AM - 13 December, 2006
Can you play some hard roc stuff like Marilyn Manson or Rob Zombie?

Now while i LUB hard rock (part of how i got my DJ Name).. when you got a dance floor full of peeps dancing to hip-hop and dance music...... you dont go up to the DJ and ask for soemthing that might get the DJ hit upside the head with a flying beer bottle if he plays it.
noncents 6:08 AM - 13 December, 2006
Quote:
I hate waiting to get paid.


I don't mind. I just get to drink up wit the chic servers and employees while everyones gettin tossed out.
lunizus 1:54 PM - 15 December, 2006
Of course it wasn't djing per say, but everynow and then I have these lil kickbacks at my house in the back yard, you know drinking, smokin da hooka(with fruit tabacco not W33d) just having some fun. The music is provided by the ipod with a playlist which I picked to play, just to kick back with. Well the last one, my friend's GF invited some friends of hers over, I didnt mind. What I did mind was that one of them is a Dj and though he could just f*ck with my ipod. He was my guest so i let him, well he just kept stoping the songs and starting another one. Pissed everyone off, and they finally told him that I was a dj and had put the playlist together. then everyone told him not to touch the Ipod again and to put back my playlist. It was funny because he thought he was so cool.
Floss B 3:25 AM - 16 December, 2006
Some Stan who was standing by me all night kept requesting that I play Ante Up during my Reggae set. I told him I would put it on when I switch back over to Hip Hop. He had a hissy fit saying he doesn't like Reggae and I'm not going to play his song. The dance floor was packed with girls so I told him to go find one and back the f*ck up. Long story short my cousin knocked him out and the party went on.
Xfade 8:34 PM - 16 December, 2006
I was playing at a volleyball tournament at a school and four times i got the request for "Basshunter - Boten Anna" A very popular song here in Sweden... Me and my friend that were playing together had med some lists of what to play and when and I had it in my list so I told em that... And finally when i play the song a girl walks up to med and almost screams "Why do you play this shit!? It's embarrassing, nobody wants to hear that!" So I look at the people that actually is dancing and say "well, i got four requests and all the people out there dancing doesn't seam to mind..." She turns around and walk away angry and I'm just laughing...

The same gig a dude brought his own burned CD, I'm like: "I ain't got no CD-players" but he starts to nag about the CD in my computer... so after two hours of him telling me to play his CD I say "OK" and play one song. He then comes up to me and says "HEY! you only played one song! Play the whole CD!!" and I'm like "People don't want to hears your CD... I have to mix up different music" and he gets mad and walks away :P
gucca69 4:56 AM - 17 December, 2006
yeah i hear you xfade i often get people who hand me cds of mainly mixed stuff and the want me to play a track on it it may be a good track and i may not have it but how do you mix a fucking track that has no intro and just drops on the chorus some times i try my best to do a mix with the tracks they ask for.
then i tell them bring an unmixed cd next time and i will play the entire track, big mistake now i get handed 3 or 4 cds every night and you cant say you havent got hte track!
so now im the grumpy old dj who gives you the death ray eyes when i get handed a cd dont do it learn by my mistake.
luckily its only the place i play 1 a week on fridays but other than that it rocks.....
dj trends 7:19 AM - 17 December, 2006
This was funny! I covered this hood spot last night. Early in the night, like 5 asians girls come in. They are with one dude, who was like an asian thug, hooded up and skullied down... So in the middle of dipset, lil jon & lil scrappy he wants me to play an asian cd for his girl friends. So i usually use the "oh im on turntables i can't play cds" story. But he somehow knew their were cds players in there, dude stayed there constantly asking me after each song to play the cd. I had to play cool cuz he seemed like he really wanted to stab me if i didnt play the cd.
gucca69 7:26 AM - 17 December, 2006
pressure or what?
gucca69 7:27 AM - 17 December, 2006
you should have asked him to hook you up with 1 of those chicks.
5 thats just greedy!
Kool DJ Sheak One 4:29 PM - 17 December, 2006
A serato-baffled drunk tonight: "Are those real turntables?"
JMFox 10:07 PM - 17 December, 2006
A few weeks ago at a spot I play at this dude comes up to me with multiple requests.
"You have that new K Fed joint?" At first I laugh to myself then say politely "No im sorry". He comes back again a few minutes later "Ok do you have that Paris Hilton song?" again I say "No" and he looks at me like Im missing the song thats gonna save his life. So he comes back a third time "Do you have that Brooke Hogan song?" I just ignore him...
dj hammurabi 3:42 AM - 19 December, 2006
"Do you have that song by that new rapper... goes like da da daaaaa da da What? Yea, uh huh?"

"Can I please punch you in the face?"
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 3:47 AM - 19 December, 2006
haha :)

can you please take three steps back and run real fast into my fist
dj_gc 3:48 AM - 19 December, 2006
my worst ever... "can you play that gold digger song by canine west"
DJ Michael Basic 3:52 AM - 19 December, 2006
Did a private party last night, which means I HAD to take requests from the girl throwing the party, which was cool, because I go into those things knowing I'm not gonna really get to mix the way I want to...but this bitch decided that she needed to cup her hand around my ear and speak directly into my ear for me to hear her. When she did it and I backed my head up, she followed me, so nomatter what she was shouting into my ear. After the third time, I made a beckoning motion and proceeded to do the same thing to her...only I really shouted...you should have the face she made...after that, she just spoke to me like a normal human being for the rest of the night, which my ear appreciated.
SpArCo 3:40 AM - 21 December, 2006
ok there's one old man came up to me
"Can i rest here for awhile? i'm pretty drunk right now"
me "F^%K off, Do i look like a hotel receptionist?"
ChULo 6:29 AM - 21 December, 2006
One night I left the booth to go to the rest room while a song was playing. well, by the time I get back this bitch is standing infront of my laptop touching it talking about "How do I look to see what songs you have?".
CMS 7:44 AM - 21 December, 2006
I'm getting to the point that ALL of the things customers say belong on this list.
Request_This_Ladies 11:26 AM - 21 December, 2006
I do like the cool clients that offer a tip or to buy you a drink for playing their request. Hell, I am happy with a simple 'thank you' after you played their song.
Diamond Duckets 12:38 PM - 21 December, 2006
Someone just sent me this picture. It pretty much sums up every gig I play less the hot chick.

(One hand on mixer and one hand on the record)

Girl: Excuse me!!!!!!
Duckets: (Takes off headphones)
Girl: If you don't play Sexy Back now I'll make sure you're fired. My boyfriend owns this place.
Duckets: Dude, I just played it. I'll play it later, ok? I have like 30 seconds before the songs runs out here...
Girl: Fuck you! This is my party!

img276.imageshack.us
CMS 6:41 PM - 21 December, 2006
@Diamond Duckets:

FU and F your boyfriend owner. If the owner's girlfriend is such a C**T that she feels she can come up and say that I'd walk.
DJJOHNNYM 8:00 PM - 21 December, 2006
Quote:
Someone just sent me this picture. It pretty much sums up every gig I play less the hot chick.

(One hand on mixer and one hand on the record)

Girl: Excuse me!!!!!!
Duckets: (Takes off headphones)
Girl: If you don't play Sexy Back now I'll make sure you're fired. My boyfriend owns this place.
Duckets: Dude, I just played it. I'll play it later, ok? I have like 30 seconds before the songs runs out here...
Girl: Fuck you! This is my party!

img276.imageshack.us


You should have told her that since you're DJ'ing on a computer, that it's automatically programmed NOT to allow you to play a song twice......so you don't make a mistake.
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 1:16 AM - 22 December, 2006
^^ hey, Johnny...that actually sounds like it would fly :)


i'm gonna try that on my next irritating requestor... not that i don't like sexyback
Dj Ryme 1:20 AM - 22 December, 2006
The other night some chick had the nerve to climb her ass up the ladder to the dj booth and tell me: "my friends sent me up here to request a song"

I replied "well im sending you back to tell them I dont take request"

She was pissed and gave me a dirty look ha ha.
Audio1 2:18 AM - 22 December, 2006
hahahaha
allenbina 4:37 AM - 22 December, 2006
maybe not a stupid request, but some drinks need lids like you get at the drive thru. i hate when girls come around with their martini glasses filled to the brim and spilling on all sides at the exact same time they feel it necessary to both request a song and find the current song so enjoyable that they have to raise their glasses right next to my laptop.
Audio1 4:40 AM - 22 December, 2006
ouch!
Request_This_Ladies 5:59 AM - 22 December, 2006
Quote:
maybe not a stupid request, but some drinks need lids like you get at the drive thru. i hate when girls come around with their martini glasses filled to the brim and spilling on all sides at the exact same time they feel it necessary to both request a song and find the current song so enjoyable that they have to raise their glasses right next to my laptop.


I had a lady pour an entire glass of red wine all over my mixer and light controller. Talk about shutting down a night. That incident is why I always push for duplicates of all DJ equipment.
skinnyguy 8:54 AM - 22 December, 2006
i just had one this past tuesday night...

some girl comes up and asks for a "new" song. she doesn't know the name or artist. only that it's new...and the radio plays it...

so i had to pry a little...

and found out that it has a guy rapping on it....with a female mixed in.

where's a taser when u need it?
B1G 9:48 PM - 29 December, 2006
wuhaha, got a new one...

i recently played at a offical studend party at my own university when suddenly a girl, not very cute but acceptable ;) came to my booth an asked me to play something better. First thing I thaught was, damn not again one of those who want something better or just something else but dont know what they want, so i began to talk with the girl, what exactly do you want to hear? As you can imagine she didn't know any song i could play for her. The only thing she insisted on was "something better" or "something else". So I decided to tell the girl, that i am going to play some better music. She was happy and went away, back to the dancefloor which was really full of people dancing... I was playing some old school hip hop tracks everybody knows well. After 10 minutes the girl came back and yelled at me why the hell i didn't play some better music and that i promised her to play some better stuff. I tryed to explain her, that i won't play any other music as long as the people continue to dance and party... She got very upset and stood directly in front of my booth with a very angry face. I thaught damn, but if she isn't able to tell me at least one song she wanted to her i can do nothing for her. After 10 minutes of standing in front of me i just had to laugh at her because she was still so mad at me and didn't stop to look at me that I just had to laugh. Then she got really upset and went away... I think that was definitely the funiest thing ever happend while i was spinning at a party..
Dj KaGeN 10:42 PM - 29 December, 2006
I hate chics that just stand there as if they're my mommy thinking I'll correct my bad behavior for them... you want action, buy me drinks or blow me.. their choice ofcourse.
Crickett 11:15 PM - 29 December, 2006
Ha ha ha ha This is some funny $hit.
Let me tell you what I do....I quick mix the fuck out of everything...
No track plays longer than a minute 30!
That way nobody complains...And at the end of every set? I play Sexy back and smack that.....I hate the fucking things...BUT FEMALES LOVE IT....So ehhh

It's hard to please everybody....
djtrippin 2:47 AM - 30 December, 2006
"WOW they still make vinyl?"
"Well....If I go to my car and get a CD will you play it?"
"When are you gonna play some CRUNK SHIT? (while three 6 mafia is playing)"
dj toast 6:08 AM - 30 December, 2006
a couple summers ago a friend of mine's parents decided to go to europe for about a month, so we did what any respectable highschoolers would and threw the 3 most wicked parties of the summer. The first party wasnt originally planned well, so not too many people showed up. I'm chillin behind my table, playing a mix of stuff off of my firend's laptop and vinyl (i used to be the master at using the variable speed control in widows media player, now that is a low budget system), taking some requests here ant there (it was a tight crowd and there werent any bad requests) and this one drunk kid comes up and starts talking to me. we kind of chat for a while, and the he leans in and points to this girl on the other side of the room. he says "watch this i'm gonna go get laid." I, not believing, say "sure you can try, if you actually do it you can sit in the booth with me and maybe i'll let you try to scratch or something." well, he did it, four consecutive times with four different girls. and then i looked like a fool letting a drunk persont try to scratch for 15 min at the end of the night.
phatplastic 7:36 PM - 31 December, 2006
I was playing a Jackson 5 record last night and some girl comes up to me and says "can you play something we know?". I didn't even answer, just turned away and kept on working.
Monk-A 7:46 PM - 31 December, 2006
Quote:
I was playing a Jackson 5 record last night and some girl comes up to me and says "can you play something we know?". I didn't even answer, just turned away and kept on working.


lol!! it was probably the samegirl who asked me about the Jackson 5
Big Tony 10:27 PM - 2 January, 2007
umm, I am so tired of people requesting, complaining, explaining, asking... it is like "guys, enjoy the night, have some fun, do a little dance and hopefully get laid"!

I think I have heard all types of requests - and I don't even get upset or angry anymore. I just nod, and if I have the request and it fits into my set I drop it. As long as people are nice and request in a polite way.
If not - the only answer they get from me is: "When I am the DJ I decide what to play, the night you are the DJ you can decide what to play - ok?"

Stay safe y'all!
Idlemind1999 10:53 PM - 2 January, 2007
One of the very first bars I ever went to had a saying at the end of the night that the staff would shout sometime near closing time. It was, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this evenings party has come to an end, If you don't work here, sleep here or sleep with someone that works here, make an offer or make your way to the door." Its something that whenever I was given the job of getting the stragglers to leave, I would say. One night about a week or two ago, I said just that.... and as I was cleaning up the booth and unhooking my SSL box, I looked up in to the eyes of my ex from some 5 years ago who said...I'm here to make an offer...
Julls 10:59 PM - 2 January, 2007
Quote:
One of the very first bars I ever went to had a saying at the end of the night that the staff would shout sometime near closing time. It was, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this evenings party has come to an end, If you don't work here, sleep here or sleep with someone that works here, make an offer or make your way to the door." Its something that whenever I was given the job of getting the stragglers to leave, I would say. One night about a week or two ago, I said just that.... and as I was cleaning up the booth and unhooking my SSL box, I looked up in to the eyes of my ex from some 5 years ago who said...I'm here to make an offer...


Hahahahaha!
SpinThis! 12:52 AM - 3 January, 2007
haha nice... so did you take her offer?! ;)
DJ F Sharp 12:56 AM - 3 January, 2007
"Can you play some deltron?" --- last week at a club in CO
DjSykes 1:14 AM - 3 January, 2007
Can you play somthing latin not mexican. I was Like WTF???And she said this as some bachata was playing...
scotty B 1:18 AM - 3 January, 2007
On NYE I was sort of Djing. I was my sister and her fiances party. So I was just messing around for fun. Some 35 yr old guy comes up and says "Play some 2pac...He is the Gangsta Shit!!!" I was like maybe a little Later. He comes back and says "Live inDie in LA" The Is the song. So since I wasnt even really doing much, I just played it. He stands over my tables the whole song singing a long with every word, and hand gesturing to me. I couldnt even look up... I was embarrassed for him!LOL
Audio1 1:21 AM - 3 January, 2007
some requests from this New years eve

- Sexy Back
Some annoying rich asian chick kept asking it... Fuckin' bitch, tryna look mad. Fuck off you sleazy hoe. Actually 4 other girls asked politely for it as well.

- Hips Dont Lie (requested during a hyphy set)
Same asian chick too... Ya, like imma kill the dancefloor for Shakira.

- Fergalicious
I hate the song but it was requested very nicely by some hot white GURL!. I played it and then mixed in a mashup of Fergalicious with a 3 6 mafia beat over it. It got all the hyphy fans excited and pissed off the annoying chicks.

- Crazy In Love
I hate the song. I played the party break. People were still dancin... ha!

The funniest one was something that went "Mac Dre, play anything Mac Dre, cept Feelin' Myself, They fuckin' play that next to beyonce on KMEL. Fuck that gay shit Mac Dre did..." Like whoa, I love Mac Dre, but damn, dissin' a crowd favorite.

When your a DJ, You cant please everyone.
Audio1 1:27 AM - 3 January, 2007
and I forgot the funniest request of New Years eve.... Last one was mere a joke. During my uptempo set (think Akon, JT, Nelly Furtado), Some OG looking gangster came up and asked "You gonna play "Stairway to Heaven" homes?"





(puzzled)
TheMightyThor 1:28 AM - 3 January, 2007
i hate when people do that. so uncomfortable.
tdcamp 1:35 AM - 3 January, 2007
Saturday nite I was spinning old skool at a club. The dance floor was filled with girls, most of them 30-35 years old. It was still early and I was playing some smooth stuff (That Girl-Stevie Wonder)... When it came in all the ladies dancin screamed cause they loved the song, but one woman came up to the booth and said, "What the hell is this... It sounds awfull, just terrible." I told her to look at everyone else having a great time... It's Stevie Wonder...She said, "It just sounds like shit."


New Years...1AM...time for a quick James Brown set...It's a Hip-Hop club, but everyone is open minded about some old skool, funk and 80's...
A girl comes up to the booth angry that we're playing the wrong stuff, cause it's not the kind of club for this (while "Sex Machine" by James is playing)... The floor is packed, everyone else is having a great time, but she's really mad cause we're not supposed to play "that kind" of stuff now...I told her to show some respect, it's James Brown...She kept talking but I ignored her.
tdcamp 1:50 AM - 3 January, 2007
The shit that bothers me is when someone takes for ever to tell you what they want..

Girl: Sorry to bother you
Me: It's OK, what's up?
Girl: I don't wanna bother you, but do you take requests?
Me: Sure, what do you wanna hear? (hurry the fuck up)
Girl: All my friends are hear and one of my friends really wants to hear a song.
Me: OK, what song??? (get to the fuckin point)
Girl: Well I'm not sure if your gonna have it...
Me: WHAT SONG? (are you an idiot,girl?)
Girl: Ok, Ok, ummm... it's that one where the guy says Ballin'...
dj disturbed 1:54 AM - 3 January, 2007
Quote:
One of the very first bars I ever went to had a saying at the end of the night that the staff would shout sometime near closing time. It was, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this evenings party has come to an end, If you don't work here, sleep here or sleep with someone that works here, make an offer or make your way to the door." Its something that whenever I was given the job of getting the stragglers to leave, I would say. One night about a week or two ago, I said just that.... and as I was cleaning up the booth and unhooking my SSL box, I looked up in to the eyes of my ex from some 5 years ago who said...I'm here to make an offer...


We used to say the same thing at my club.. till the owners son (who is the manager) told us we were not allowed to say it any more b/c it sounded sleezy and no other clubs said it like that to get peeps to leave. But then again.. he also banned us from playing alomst all Crunk, Snap, and southern (ATL) music... and then complains to the dj's that peeps complain about the music that we play (not our falt they want to hear the hot stuff right now with happends to be ATL style music around here).. but then again.. me and the other dj were playing some newer Baltimore house one night after we closed on our computers to see what we liked the best.. and he came up and said.. whats this type of music.... no one around here will like this type of music, Dont ever play it in this club.... so we played an hour of it the next night we both DJed and had the dance floor packed the whole time.. he came up to the DJ booth and said... "man you guys need to play this music more often"... but he thinks if we dont play alot of pre-made mash-ups then we didnt play good music and the crowd didnt like it.
rabblerouser 2:18 AM - 3 January, 2007
Quote:
Some girl comes up to me and asks me to play Akon "Smack That". I told her I'd play it. She comes up a 4th time and I tell her "If you want to hear it that badly why don't you go out to your car and plug in your ipod and listen to it."


I think I met her last weekend in the Marina. She claimed to be Eminem's cousin and after coming up to me 3 times in 5 minutes, after I'd already played Mary J Blige for her, called me a few names when I sarcastically thanked her for contributing so many good ideas to my set.

Anyway.

My favorite question ever was a couple years ago around midnight with a packed floor...

Him: Yo, my college buddy is here from Minnesota and he used to play the music at our frat parties.
Me: Great.
Him: Is it cool if he DJs for half an hour?
Me: Where?
Him: Here.
Me: When?
Him: Now.
Me: No.
Him: Why not?
Me: He doesn't have any records with him.
Him: Can he play your's?
Me: No.
Him: How about for $10?
Me: .......
Him: Can you at least play something I can get laid to?
My partner: Homey, there is not a single song we could play that's gonna get you laid tonight.
DJ T-Dubb 2:26 AM - 3 January, 2007
Quote:
The shit that bothers me is when someone takes for ever to tell you what they want..

Girl: Sorry to bother you
Me: It's OK, what's up?
Girl: I don't wanna bother you, but do you take requests?
Me: Sure, what do you wanna hear? (hurry the fuck up)
Girl: All my friends are hear and one of my friends really wants to hear a song.
Me: OK, what song??? (get to the fuckin point)
Girl: Well I'm not sure if your gonna have it...
Me: WHAT SONG? (are you an idiot,girl?)
Girl: Ok, Ok, ummm... it's that one where the guy says Ballin'...


Hilliarious!!
DJ T-Dubb 2:34 AM - 3 January, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Weddings suck! You got two sides of the family telling you different things.
My favorite wedding quote"Do you like this shit?...Well nobody here likes this shit!"(comin from an 80 year old).


A suggestion my friend... TURN THE SPEAKERS UP AS LOUD AS YOU CAN! He'll leave. lol



Works everytime!! lol
SpinThis! 2:38 AM - 3 January, 2007
Quote:
It got all the hyphy fans excited and pissed off the annoying chicks.

haha... I love the people who hate remixes. they want it straight or not at all.

that's good words to live by: never give a girl exactly what she wants... ever. whether that means making her wait for the song / playing your own version of it or even when you're dating a girl... I hate ass-kissing DJs who will play a certain song next just because the girl is super hot. make her work for it.
DJ Jinnai 2:59 AM - 3 January, 2007
While playing speedcore, and having 500+ people dancing....one person asks "can I request a slow love song?"
Kool DJ Sheak One 3:51 AM - 3 January, 2007
Quote:
and I forgot the funniest request of New Years eve.... Last one was mere a joke. During my uptempo set (think Akon, JT, Nelly Furtado), Some OG looking gangster came up and asked "You gonna play "Stairway to Heaven" homes?"



I could see that happening, or some "Crystal Blue Persuasion"
Kool DJ Sheak One 4:20 AM - 3 January, 2007
I was playing James last week, and this guy came up and said "Are you going to be playing James Brown all night, does this bar only play James Brown?" Thinking he was trying to hate and throw salt in my game, I said "Yes, I will be playin James Brown until 2 AM!"
And then he said "DOPE!"

"???"
Audio1 6:24 AM - 3 January, 2007
yea def man. holler. thabboy@gmail.com or www.myspace.com
Audio1 6:26 AM - 3 January, 2007
Quote:
yea def man. holler. thabboy@gmail.com or www.myspace.com
Request_This_Ladies 7:16 AM - 3 January, 2007
I used to get all twisted when people would bomb me with lame request but now, thanks to Serato, I can play the request and jump out before the second hook.
Audio1 9:34 AM - 3 January, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
It got all the hyphy fans excited and pissed off the annoying chicks.

haha... I love the people who hate remixes. they want it straight or not at all.

that's good words to live by: never give a girl exactly what she wants... ever. whether that means making her wait for the song / playing your own version of it or even when you're dating a girl... I hate ass-kissing DJs who will play a certain song next just because the girl is super hot. make her work for it.


Yea def man... esp. when the chick asked for Fergalicious, I was dropping slower crunk/snap/top 40 stuff... It be wack to jump from 86bpm crunk to 128 pop to please someone... After Midnight NYE, everything was past 115 so its all game.

Back to the annoying rich asian chick, She annoyed the shit out of me.... came up to me 5 times asking me to play Shakira - Hips Dont Lie. Party is jumping to some hiphop and she wants Shakira. and then that STARE OF DEATH! I waved good bye.

My set was 10pm-2am. People get real pissy when you cant play certain shit at a certain time, like man.... Im playing for the next 3 hours, Its bound to come on if the vibe is right. Play some Messy marv next, Play some Mac Dre next.... Imma play what keeps the ladies dancing. Some music just kills the mood. All depends on the party and the timing.
Audio1 9:36 AM - 3 January, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
and I forgot the funniest request of New Years eve.... Last one was mere a joke. During my uptempo set (think Akon, JT, Nelly Furtado), Some OG looking gangster came up and asked "You gonna play "Stairway to Heaven" homes?"



I could see that happening, or some "Crystal Blue Persuasion"


hahaha. and how about the dudes who come up like "Yo man, You got that new LLoyd with Weezy baby on it? Play that shit homie cuz Its gonna get me some pussy..." OK, now I wont play it and will ruin your game. hahaha!
DJ NightLife2 9:56 AM - 3 January, 2007
Someone requested "Eminem - You Don't know" after the last call when a slow was playin'
DJ Hondai 12:04 PM - 3 January, 2007
once the bartender came over and asked me: "Can you play something more like electro but not so deep" ???

what he really wanted is some happy house like disco boys...

uhh, I love it when people really don't know what they're talking about ;-)
J_Static 12:10 PM - 3 January, 2007
Hey Audio 1, you in the Bay????

Anyways, some of the Hyphy crowd doesn't know how to relax when it comes to requesting some hyphy songs.....Had some dude request Mac Dre multiple times and then ask for some other bay area sh*t, and then finally he came back after I did a straight 30 min bay area mix talking about: "If you know whats good for you, you'll play some bay area sh*t right the f*ck now!"

My response: "Whoa homey I didn't know we were back in grade school, excuse me....Mr. Bouncer, Mr. Wanna be tough guy needs an attitude arrangement and a one way ticket out the door and on his ass......

End result: Guy apologized as bouncer carried him out by his neck.......
Audio1 12:16 PM - 3 January, 2007
hahaha.... One thing you never ever do to a DJ is threaten him to play some music. and yea man, Im out here in the Bay, in San Mateo. holla!
J_Static 12:19 PM - 3 January, 2007
U go to Ultrasoundz???

I used to when I worked over in San Fran, but I live in the East Bay (Richmond), so B Side Records in Berkley gets my bizness.....

You should come see me spin sometime and vice versa, got a phat party this weekend
Loopman 6:03 PM - 3 January, 2007
its seems dj'ing requests are the same all over the world reading all your stories :) the request I only got once (I am sorry to say) was this beautiful girl which came over to the booth and asked: hey can you please sign my new tits?

service minded as I am ofcourse I did it. but I tell you, it wasnt easy. its difficult to hold them just right for writing and I am left handed aswell which didn't make it go any faster :D
Viewtiful Anthony 6:11 PM - 3 January, 2007
play that new jeezy lol
rabblerouser 6:51 PM - 3 January, 2007
Is Ultrasoundz still there? I haven't been in there for 6-7 years. I looked for it a couple months ago but I think I forgot where it is. That used to be my spot. Audio1, did you grow up in San Mateo?
Audio1 7:50 PM - 3 January, 2007
Naw, grew up in the 510 (Oakland, Hayward)... Moved to SM in 03.
J_Static 2:09 AM - 4 January, 2007
Ultrasoundz is still there, new owner and management, but they cool as a fan. Ajaxx still fixes people's equipment when he's not busy with Energy. That was my spot till I found another spot closer to me in the East Bay.......

305 (Miami) Native here, Bay Area since 1999 though
J_Static 2:10 AM - 4 January, 2007
Quote:
its seems dj'ing requests are the same all over the world reading all your stories :) the request I only got once (I am sorry to say) was this beautiful girl which came over to the booth and asked: hey can you please sign my new tits?

service minded as I am ofcourse I did it. but I tell you, it wasnt easy. its difficult to hold them just right for writing and I am left handed aswell which didn't make it go any faster :D


Yea it was hard to sign them because you were TOO BUSY tweakin the nipples
dj skiggz 2:24 AM - 4 January, 2007
hey do you have that to the left to the left song.

?????
J_Static 2:25 AM - 4 January, 2007
You mean Beyonce's "Irreaplacable"
J_Static 2:26 AM - 4 January, 2007
Quote:
You mean Beyonce's "Irreaplacable"


Opps I forgot what thread I was reading....sorry folks
dj skiggz 2:27 AM - 4 January, 2007
Oh no wonder
DjCiprian 6:47 AM - 6 January, 2007
this is just funny as hell to read, but horrible and stressful for others that take it serious...this is why most djs don't make it...


AM is that funny as hell...seems to me the funnier people are the better djs....
Idlemind1999 8:17 AM - 6 January, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Im thinking at this point, one of the Serato moderators should make this a sticky and post it somewhere around top of the list... its obviously only getting better every week as new dumb ass request seekers test our patience and their levels of stupidity!

Keep em coming!


I second that Emotion.
Gimme the sticky icky!



The thing that kills me is some where in my forced reggeton set.. I play spanish reggae from back in the day... like El General.. Boom Boom mami mami,.... and stuff like that... and people are asking me what the hell is that??
djaction 6:20 PM - 9 January, 2007
We need to bring this thread back!

This past Saturday dude walks up and says:

"Hey can you please play the songs all the way to the end?"
nik39 6:24 PM - 9 January, 2007
Quote:
"Hey can you please play the songs all the way to the end?"

LMAO :))
scotty B 6:51 PM - 9 January, 2007
Last night I was spinning at home. My girls 2 yr old Son comes up and tells me to play "itsy Bitsy Spider" . Absolutly Priceless!
DJ Michael Basic 6:59 PM - 9 January, 2007
Did you play it?
scotty B 7:03 PM - 9 January, 2007
I didn't have it. but it got me thinking..... I am going to get a bunch of those for him. My tables are set up in the garage, and that is where he rides his Power wheels too. Maybe Nursery rhymes will get him into spinning...LOL :P
DJ Michael Basic 7:04 PM - 9 January, 2007
You don't have itsy bitsy spider? What kind of DJ are you? That's a computer right? Can't you download it or something? PSH!
scotty B 7:06 PM - 9 January, 2007
Hahahaha. I know for real huh?
Kool DJ Sheak One 7:19 PM - 9 January, 2007
Gotta Play the Andrew Dice Clay version tho!
scotty B 7:20 PM - 9 January, 2007
LOL... The last thing I need is him Cursing. It seems anytime we slip up he knows and repeats it!
tig ol' bitties 8:57 PM - 12 January, 2007
Quote:
Gotta Play the Andrew Dice Clay version tho!


I saw that mofo in the mall the other day...dude rolls with some goons.
djaction 3:46 PM - 16 January, 2007
The whole CROWD going nuts to House of Pain 'Jump Around' and this broad comes up and says 'this isn't a bar mitzvah, play something good.'

I need a trap door setup right outside the booth and a button to activate it on my mixer.
FATTY FAT FAT 5:50 PM - 16 January, 2007
i'm in the batters box, standing just behind the dj who is on the verge of ending his set. this 40 year old sleaze ball with greasy hair and an open collar shirt for some reason is standing right there next to me.

me: dude sorry you're gonna have to get off the stage
him: it's ok i'm friends with the promoter.
me: ok whatever.
him: yeah i used to dj too, with (insert names of three of the biggest club dj's in the city)
me: oh word.

the other dj that was done finishes, i start cuing up my first track. all of a sudden something pushes me to the right. i look to the left and fuckwad is bent over the dj booth eyeing my serato pushing me away (inadvertantly but absentmindedly) from the decks in the process.

me (annoyed): sorry man you're just gonna have to just gimme a little room to operate here
him: ok sorry (backs off)

as soon as i return my focus to the tables, i am being pushed away again... this time i am literally to the right of all the equipment, basically i am standing on the side of the setup, reaching over and frantically trying to mix the track i was about to drop, the other song is on the verge of ending, and fuckwad is standing squarly in the middle of the dj setup staring at my laptop. i bring in the new song, mix is totally off, dancefloor clears. i push the fucker away, continue to play (on tilt which is never a good thing) and throughout the course of my short set, the fucker is leaning on me with his face right in my laptop trying to tell me what songs to play and at one point i turn and he's actually scrolling and typing on my laptop. lucky for me there is no security on hand and all the other dj's and promoters are nowhere to be seen, so i get to hang out with this douchebag for another half hour.



another time i'm djing with my sisters boyfriend (who as it turns out is an amazing dj), i just let him use my serato, he pops in a cd and plays off the wav files on it. at the end of his set he tells me how my computer isnt ejecting his cd. i tell him i'll get it out after i drop the next track. meanwhile a friend of his has appeared and he's telling his friend (also a dj, but not a serato user) how my laptop still has his cd in it. the guy says 'oh you just have to do this' and begins to lean over the dj booth.... at the EXACT MOMENT i drop the next track, the dude clicks the track eject button on scratch live. DEAD SILENCE. i tell him to get the fuck away from my computer..... a few weeks later he asks me if i wanna work his new years party. i'm thinking maybe. then he asks me if i'll bus. HELL TO THE NO (no disrespect to bussers, i've done it before, it's hard work.)


one last thing for me to vent about...
i'm playing one of my weekly gigs and seated at the bar right behind me is a local television personality and a friend of hers who i am acquainted with. the tv girl comes over to ask me what song i'm playing, i tell her. she is obviously interested in the music i'm playing, i let her look at the playlist that is on the screen, and step away from the booth to say hi to the other girl that i know. thirty seconds later i turn around back to the booth and tv girl has my headphones on and is SCRATCHING. needless to say it was awful. i sneak up behind her, take off the headphones, she turns around and laughs, i am quite annoyed but i let it slide because i wanna sleep with her.

about three weeks later she shows up again. the manager of the bar is standing right behind me and tv girl starts talking to him. she starts going on about how she wants a night, and she will be an awesome dj and she just got serato. so after about 20 minutes of trying to convince the manager to give her a night she comes up to me.
her: hey how much was your interface
me: my what?
her: your serato
me: oh the box, $700
her: fuck!
me: i thought you said you got serato
her: i already have the program, isnt there a way i could get the interface for cheaper
me: no, the program is free, the hardware is $700
her:...
me: you cant use the program without the hardware
her: fuck
me: LOL

and that's pretty much it. actually i have tons of other stupid stories but those were the first three to come to mind.
dj kiss 6:16 PM - 16 January, 2007
Quote:
We need to bring this thread back!

This past Saturday dude walks up and says:

"Hey can you please play the songs all the way to the end?"


ha ha this one brought back memories! Was djin at this new club in town. These people are soo used to having djs that dont mix or attempt to wow the crowd. They hire our production company to make an appearence there with our 2 djs including me. We begin to rock the crowd, i like to do quick mixes with no more 2 minute tracks. About midnight, floor is packed, dancers and bar is going crazy!!! this dude walks up and says " You guys are hard to dance to! You will play a song they when we decide to get up and dance to it you change it! Please just play the song and then fade in the next..."

WTF??? ha ha ha.
DJUnknown 6:29 PM - 16 January, 2007
^^^How old was he? At cabarets (I know in your instance it was a club), where older people tend to frequent, they like to sit and get up, and hear the song all the way through (so it gives them time to decide to get up and dance). The first time I DJed one it was like WTF...they would dance to one or two songs then walk off the dance floor and sit down, while more people were walking on the dance floor so basically the whole time there was a handful of people walking back and forth to the dancefloor at about every other change in song.
nik39 6:37 PM - 16 January, 2007
Quote:
then he asks me if i'll bus. HELL TO THE NO (no disrespect to bussers, i've done it before, it's hard work.)

FATTY FAT FAT, "to bus"? What does that mean?
FATTY FAT FAT 6:42 PM - 16 January, 2007
it means pick up empty beer bottles and cups
DJ D-ROC 6:49 PM - 16 January, 2007
We all just gotta get shirts that say NO REQUESTS BITCHES! If a girl comes up nice and polite i dont mind playing shit to get the ladies shakin their azz.The worse is when guys come up and ask for the most ghettoest shit ever and try to get their girls to request the same songs if you dont play them. Im like man im not here to play music for guys. Only ladies! thats what its all about
dj skraps 7:12 PM - 16 January, 2007
Or how bout were you a in a zone...maybe with some hip hop or dance type ish....and then someone comes up to with that chicken dance of cha cha slide ish....i hate wedding although they pay da bills..
Request_This_Ladies 2:03 AM - 17 January, 2007
Quote:
We all just gotta get shirts that say NO REQUESTS BITCHES!


My friend has a shirt that reads: "FUCK OFF! I'M DJing!"
The Little Trooper 4:26 AM - 17 January, 2007
I've seen ones that say "Fuck Off. I'm mixing." and "I am not a jukebox."
joerockets 4:42 AM - 17 January, 2007
Quote:
I've seen ones that say "Fuck Off. I'm mixing." and "I am not a jukebox."


"Let me do my job. I don't tell you how to drink or strikeout."
The Little Trooper 5:15 AM - 17 January, 2007
Haha. I like that one.

Whenever people become rude about their requests I start asking them where they work and say that tomorrow I'd like to come stand over their shoulder, and bother them while they're (insert job description here). It works. Sometimes.
DJ Jinnai 6:21 AM - 17 January, 2007
How about a shirt/sign:

"Requests: $5"
Request_This_Ladies 7:20 AM - 17 January, 2007
Quote:
How about a shirt/sign:

"Requests: $5"


When I use a mic, I tell people to write their requests on a $10 or $20 bill and the hand it to me.

You'd be surprised how many tools play along...
DJ Jinnai 7:35 AM - 17 January, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
How about a shirt/sign:

"Requests: $5"


When I use a mic, I tell people to write their requests on a $10 or $20 bill and the hand it to me.

You'd be surprised how many tools play along...


GOOD IDEA! I'll remember that one. HAHA!
Dj Chinn 7:39 AM - 17 January, 2007
At the Club!! My best friend(Dj View) ws Dhing and I was scratching for him!

Girl: I will kiss you if you play this song!
View (my buddy): Ok! (kisses him)
View: Do you want to come back to my place
Girl: BABY I JUST WANT TO MAKE BABIES
Viw: PEACE!!
The Little Trooper 8:03 AM - 17 January, 2007
Quote:
When I use a mic, I tell people to write their requests on a $10 or $20 bill and the hand it to me.

You'd be surprised how many tools play along...


Please repost this in the tips and tricks section too. that's great advice
Kool DJ Sheak One 7:53 PM - 17 January, 2007
Last Night:

Man: Play somthin with ME on it!
Me: ...??
Man: The Gap Band. You know! I was the fiff member!....Bass!
Me: Cool
Man: So, ya man. Play some Gap Band. I was init!
Me: Comin right up! (Sike!)
Man: I appreesheeate it.
Man: John Lennon!
Audio1 11:42 PM - 17 January, 2007
Quote:
When I use a mic, I tell people to write their requests on a $10 or $20 bill and the hand it to me.

You'd be surprised how many tools play along...


Moral dillema... If they hand you a $20 and you dont have "Shakira" on your serato (cuz you dont like her shit), DO you hand the $20 back or keep it? hahhaha
Request_This_Ladies 1:54 AM - 18 January, 2007
Moral dillema... If they hand you a $20 and you dont have "Shakira" on your serato (cuz you dont like her shit), DO you hand the $20 back or keep it? hahhaha

If I don't have it, I'll tell them. They will usually have a back-up request.
Dj Chinn 2:13 AM - 18 January, 2007
Quote:
Moral dillema... If they hand you a $20 and you dont have "Shakira" on your serato (cuz you dont like her shit), DO you hand the $20 back or keep it? hahhaha

If I don't have it, I'll tell them. They will usually have a back-up request.

OR.... what if you dont have shakira the WHOLE song but you have like a verse of her do you give them change back for the $20 like $10. or something! haha
Audio1 2:44 AM - 18 January, 2007
hahahahah
J_Static 5:20 AM - 18 January, 2007
djaction: love the trapdoor idea....

Fatty Fat Fat: I would've let Ms. TV Personality use my interface for that night and would have been on hand to "supervise." That way you could supervise your interface so it doesn't get f*cked up, be there to help her out, get her a couple of drinks during the night, show that your a gentleman and be "interface(in-her-face)" after her gig at your place......
FATTY FAT FAT 6:38 AM - 18 January, 2007
ha, i thought about it, but she annoys me too much as a person for me to spend a whole night with her. she looks good though
brett rock 6:54 AM - 18 January, 2007
i find that a simple: "i'll see what i can do" works nicely. its polite and you can just keep saying it over and over repetitivley to any request that comes your way. after a while it doesn't matter what they say.

over loud music-

brainless club goer: " R U EVENING LISTENING TO ME ?!?!?! "

brett rock: "I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN WHAT I CAN DO!"

i get i kick out of it
Audio1 7:13 AM - 18 January, 2007
^^^ that sounds about right... Ill check If I brought it...
J_Static 7:21 AM - 18 January, 2007
Fat Fat, that's why they call it a ONE NITE STAND!!!!!

Just one nite of hell and annoyance
djaction 5:38 PM - 21 January, 2007
This thread must not die!

Last night.. PACKED dance floor.. I'm playing Bob Marley - Could This Love

Chick That Has Requested "Walk It Out" about 12x already: "Can you play something that won't make me puke??? This song makes me want to puke its horrible!!"

.. How are you even supposed to respond to some shit like that? BOB MARLEY makes you want to puke but WALK IT OUT is ok?
DjSykes 6:13 PM - 21 January, 2007
Quote:
This thread must not die!

Last night.. PACKED dance floor.. I'm playing Bob Marley - Could This Love

Chick That Has Requested "Walk It Out" about 12x already: "Can you play something that won't make me puke??? This song makes me want to puke its horrible!!"

.. How are you even supposed to respond to some shit like that? BOB MARLEY makes you want to puke but WALK IT OUT is ok?


I would have told her to find the nearest bathroom and become one with the Toilet...Stupid people should wear signs so that we can help them before they make mistakes..lol..
shiestO! 6:34 PM - 21 January, 2007
Quote:
necessity is the mother of invention.


yessir, and assumption is the mother of all f*ck ups.
here's why- i played a new years party at my friends house, no big deal... but i play dnb and hip hop (underground shit not top charts) peeps at the party were 90% european, my friend lived with like 4 polish dudes. so i was like... shit i'm straight, put together a TIGHT ass chillin ragga jungle mix. my friend's roommate came up to me after like 20 minutes and said...

"can you, like, stop... playing?"
meanwhile i was like wtf? i have talked to each of you personally in drunken conversations and you told me you love drum and bass... especially ragga. so... here's the beastest ragga set you will ever hear... no dice. punk asses. they put on 93.9... DC's shittiest top chart hip hop and rnb radio station, i got crunk and forgot about it. but if they wanted radio from the start, why the hell did i drag my entire life's worth of music over there just to be shut down right away? i coulda saved the effort (and had more drinks by now)
Audio1 6:42 PM - 21 January, 2007
stop mixing house parties!
shiestO! 7:23 PM - 21 January, 2007
Quote:


*crowd hyping and jumping around like crazy to shy fx - original nutter*

bloke 1 "turn off this rubbish its killing the party"

2 minutes later

bloke 1 "you should play that tune that goes 'i am a nutter, mad mad mad nutter'"

the dude was not drunk, i was completely bemused.



this was in my ragga set... possibly the only tune that the polish dudes liked... til a fat polish chick asked me if i had any trance. nah bitch. have a good night.
Audio1 7:45 PM - 21 January, 2007
ya, ragga-jungle @ house parties can be pretty hit or miss... def keep the junglism to the clubs and renegade parties for full effect.
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 9:01 PM - 21 January, 2007
i'm gonna PRINT this thread out, laminate, and tape each page together (like Santa's long ol' "who's been good/bad" list) and hand it to anyone who irritates me at my gigs :)
Mr. Goodkat 9:07 PM - 21 January, 2007
I got my most ridiculous one last week.

After the Saints win, some fans came up and asked me to play the Saints fight song. The problem was that I was in Dallas, where as a Cowboy fan, I would rather cut my balls off rather than play any other cities fight song. Regardless of that fact, I don't play sports songs anyway. Go Cowboys, Go Mavs (the Stars/Rangers really aren't our team)
TheMightyThor 9:27 PM - 21 January, 2007
i would have told that dumb bitch that its not the music that makes her want to puke, its her flabby stomach and fat ass!! (hopefully she was skinny)
Richierollz 11:58 PM - 21 January, 2007
I work at this dump of a Bar, but its entertaining for me and the pay is actaully better than at nicer establishments I work at as well, Go figure! I know all the bar staff and bouncers so i do and say what I please.
Any way, I get the f*cking absolute wackest request here, All the time.

Really old drunk lady, I mean OLD! "Can you play the waltz?!"
* this crazy bitter bitch asked me to play this genre of music 5 times, I was polite the first 4 times she asked.
I finally said "Look bitch, STOP, SEE THAT BIG SIGN" referring to a 2 foot by 6 foot banner with my name on it and a description of the music (top 40, hip hop, Dance..etc.) to be played at this event.
Then "GET THE F*CK OUT FROM INFRONT OF MY BOOTH, or I'LL UNPLUG YOUR DIALYSIS MACHINE"

Drunk old lady: "I got a $20 bill with your name on it if you play nickelback"
Me: "No you dont, now go sit down and shut up"
SHE WAS PISSED
* NOTE this C*NT above was rude to me earlier on and I wasnt havin it from that Bitch!!

Pantera!! Who the F*ck asks a DJ to play Pantera in the middle of 20 or 30 people dancing to hip hop.

I get people all the time who come over and stare at the serato setup. I usually tell drunks that I'm actually a personnal Accountant of the Bar and they set my office up in the DJ Booth on accident and that if you have a request you have to ask one of the bartenders.

At other places I cant do this so i've developed a series of replys to miserable requests . . . like

Person asks for song: hey I dont like this can you play this?
Me: "Uhmmmmm hold on." then ignore the person, if they ask again or stand there and stare i then say "Uhmmmmm no, NEXT"

haha


I love this thread!!!
nik39 12:04 AM - 22 January, 2007
Quote:
I get people all the time who come over and stare at the serato setup. I usually tell drunks that I'm actually a personnal Accountant of the Bar and they set my office up in the DJ Booth on accident and that if you have a request you have to ask one of the bartenders.

Haha.
Richierollz 12:14 AM - 22 January, 2007
"CAN I PUCH YOU IN THE FACE"
whoever wrote this , you are a genius!
dj nick dean 12:33 AM - 22 January, 2007
Friday night I dj at my usual spot. I start out at about 9:30 even though I technically am not supposed to be there til 10:00 cuz people around here go out earlier and if they don't see a dj, usually they just take off ta the next bar.

Anyway, to get back on topic, the very first song I play some women in her forties starts dancing way to intensely for what I am playing and even though its dark I can tell she is just blasted. I see her making her way toward me and I am thinking to myself "great" so I look down and continue to do my thing. She has this boa wrapped around her neck and she starts waving it around her head like a fucking helicopter and trying to get it as close to my face as possible without actually hitting me with it. You can imagine how thrilled I was. Next she lays flat on her back in the middle of the dance floor and continues to wave the damn boa around her head and I'm like wtf. Finally the bartender escorted her out but holly shit!

sorry, I know that wasn't really a comment or request story but I thought it was worth mentioning.
Dj Chinn 1:34 AM - 22 January, 2007
Quote:
Friday night I dj at my usual spot. I start out at about 9:30 even though I technically am not supposed to be there til 10:00 cuz people around here go out earlier and if they don't see a dj, usually they just take off ta the next bar.

Anyway, to get back on topic, the very first song I play some women in her forties starts dancing way to intensely for what I am playing and even though its dark I can tell she is just blasted. I see her making her way toward me and I am thinking to myself "great" so I look down and continue to do my thing. She has this boa wrapped around her neck and she starts waving it around her head like a fucking helicopter and trying to get it as close to my face as possible without actually hitting me with it.


You should have shown her how to do the real helicopter!!!

Think about it!!!!!!!

MUWAHAHA
DJJOHNNYM 3:30 AM - 22 January, 2007
Quote:
^^ hey, Johnny...that actually sounds like it would fly :)


i'm gonna try that on my next irritating requestor... not that i don't like sexyback


lol...glad I could help formulate a way out...

Man, don't you know I did a party on MLK Sunday, and this chick comes up to me talkin' bout, her friend is sitting in front of the speaker and she thinks it's too loud...

I'm like....Ummm...it's SUPPOSED to be loud...she'll have to move...

Why did she say, "You know what, lemmie get the owner"....

Why did the Owner come over and "adjust" the highs on the mixer?

Why did I put that shit RIGHT BACK...lmao.

Stop playin...
DJJOHNNYM 3:33 AM - 22 January, 2007
Quote:
.. How are you even supposed to respond to some shit like that? BOB MARLEY makes you want to puke but WALK IT OUT is ok?


Unfortunately, Walk It Out took 3rd place in the banger listing of "New" hip hop...Beyonces' "Upgrade You" had all the chick throwin' panties at a nucca...

That damn Jim Jones "Ballin'" piece is still holdlin' tite....

Damn.
joerockets 3:35 AM - 22 January, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
.. How are you even supposed to respond to some shit like that? BOB MARLEY makes you want to puke but WALK IT OUT is ok?


Unfortunately, Walk It Out took 3rd place in the banger listing of "New" hip hop...Beyonces' "Upgrade You" had all the chick throwin' panties at a nucca...

That damn Jim Jones "Ballin'" piece is still holdlin' tite....

Damn.


Signs of the apocolypse #140: My dad called me and asked if I'm playing "We Fly High" in the clubs
DJJOHNNYM 3:41 AM - 22 January, 2007
Quote:


Signs of the apocolypse #140: My dad called me and asked if I'm playing "We Fly High" in the clubs


The minute my PARENTS throw up the "Diamond", I'm quitting DJ'ing.
Dan Gorman 4:48 AM - 22 January, 2007
This is hillarious. It's so true at every club. I posted in a different forum where some drunk ass chic pucked all over my coffin. I was really stoked on that.

I think one of my other most memoriable moments when I'm rocking the floor with some sick dirty breaks and this chick comes up and asks if I can play Madonna.

I'm thinking, you're coming here for the music I'm playing, not what you hear on (insert over played local dance radio station here) radio.
SpinThis! 4:06 PM - 22 January, 2007
Quote:
The minute my PARENTS throw up the "Diamond", I'm quitting DJ'ing.

word on the street is that new rhinestone cowboy song by glen campell is the new shit you need to mashup... ;)
shiestO! 5:16 PM - 22 January, 2007
i think the only way to avoid people going through your crates and cd cases would be to do what a dude at a wedding i went to did. i was like hey let me peep your cd's and he was like ok... they all said "wedding mix 1" or "mix 17" or "random 12" my friend was like... what did he have? i had to say "i have no idea"

obscure labeling. key. dude proceeded to play horrible music all day but i had nothing to pick and thus couldn't say shit.
SpinThis! 5:25 PM - 22 January, 2007
obscure labelling might work but that might also work against you as well.... if you can't find your own tracks, i find that a bigger problem than people thumbing through... especially if you're rocking serato. what are you going to do, obscure every single track?
DJ Autograph 7:50 PM - 22 January, 2007
My favorite thing to say if they get too annoying or tell you how to play a song is "Do I come to your workplace and tell you how to do your job???"
shiestO! 8:26 PM - 22 January, 2007
Quote:
obscure labelling might work but that might also work against you as well.... if you can't find your own tracks, i find that a bigger problem than people thumbing through... especially if you're rocking serato. what are you going to do, obscure every single track?


true... un-doable. didn't think it out. btw... i read this ENTIRE thread for some reason.
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 10:28 PM - 22 January, 2007
just have a decoy cd collection
Kool DJ Sheak One 10:48 PM - 22 January, 2007
^^My mixtapes would always get "borrowed" so I used to label my mixtapes "Best of Barbara" or "Yani at the Greek". Nobody took those tapes!

Last week, dude came up with a NOTEPAD! and was jocking and writing down songs. After a couple a songs I had to just turn off the screen when I saw him coming.

My friend uses a mac and we set his screen up so when peeps try to peep, he moves the mouse to the corner and they get album art instead.Down with the Lookie lous!
Mr. Goodkat 11:14 PM - 22 January, 2007
Quote:
^^My mixtapes would always get "borrowed" so I used to label my mixtapes "Best of Barbara" or "Yani at the Greek". Nobody took those tapes!

Last week, dude came up with a NOTEPAD! and was jocking and writing down songs. After a couple a songs I had to just turn off the screen when I saw him coming.

My friend uses a mac and we set his screen up so when peeps try to peep, he moves the mouse to the corner and they get album art instead.Down with the Lookie lous!


i started a thread about trainspotting computers, and people thought I was crazy, i had to start my own labelling system to combat this
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 9:46 AM - 24 January, 2007
man, this thread is really climbing up there (620 posts), reminds me of that serato-setup thread (1893 posts)

both threads ain't even stickies :)


so here's a few non-verbal body language you can use or help to detect, since the music is blaring and you've got headphones on and can't hear --> Watchwww.youtube.com
DJ Jinnai 10:14 AM - 24 January, 2007
Question: "Can you mix, *blah blah, and after that blah blah, then after that, blah blah blah?...Oh yeah and after that, blah blah blah blah blah blah? And Blah to the blah with blah blah?"

*blah = insert song here

My answer: "GET A FUCKING IPOD (I show my ipod in their face... they leave.)"
DJJOHNNYM 1:15 PM - 24 January, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
The minute my PARENTS throw up the "Diamond", I'm quitting DJ'ing.

word on the street is that new rhinestone cowboy song by glen campell is the new shit you need to mashup... ;)

Sad part is that I like that song....
DJ Young Herrera 1:48 PM - 24 January, 2007
Quote:
^^My mixtapes would always get "borrowed" so I used to label my mixtapes "Best of Barbara" or "Yani at the Greek". Nobody took those tapes!

Last week, dude came up with a NOTEPAD! and was jocking and writing down songs. After a couple a songs I had to just turn off the screen when I saw him coming.

My friend uses a mac and we set his screen up so when peeps try to peep, he moves the mouse to the corner and they get album art instead.Down with the Lookie lous!


Yo, you peeps gotta get a privacy filter for you laptop from 3M...awww yeah.

Last week at my gig there was a bacholorette party that rolled up. They were friends with the promoter and he was like "yo, just play some of the songs they want if you can". So the fat bacholorette come up to me and requests too $hort. I play blow the whistle and then I need a freak for the bacholorette vibe right...I figure its all good and continue my ish. Then she comes up again saying play some more too $hort...again and again and again and again. I keep telling her I played all I can and to go dance. Finally she gets a really mad look on her face and screams at the top of her lungs "PLAY MY SONGS RIGHT NOOOOOOW!!!!!". My boy was standing with me and we both looked at each other and start falling out. I was like "look, you need to back away from the gear right now." My girl saw the whole act and came up to the chick's friends who she sorta knew and calmly told them to chill their friend out if they knew what was good for her. I love my ride or die chaldean chick...haha.
SpinThis! 3:19 PM - 24 January, 2007
Quote:
Sad part is that I like that song....

that was a classic movie btw...
DJenerate 4:48 AM - 27 January, 2007
Most Annoying:
Wedding - "Can you turn the air up?, it's chilly in here!"
Club - "Can you play Creed or Metallica?" on Old School HH Night!
School Dance - "What song are you playing next?" after every song!
Any event - "Can you turn it down? we're trying to talk." Why sit near the dancefloor?

I still think it's funny that people request Kenny G, it's like requesting good root canal!
BriChi 5:11 AM - 27 January, 2007
One of my favorites was the other night, I had a guest behind me watching me and he says, Oh, that's cool, So the computer tells you when to mix when the 2 spinning wheels on the screen are aligned. I just laughed and said, Yeah, That's it. It wasn't even worth explaining
dj nick dean 6:13 AM - 27 January, 2007
Quote:
One of my favorites was the other night, I had a guest behind me watching me and he says, Oh, that's cool, So the computer tells you when to mix when the 2 spinning wheels on the screen are aligned. I just laughed and said, Yeah, That's it. It wasn't even worth explaining


I find myself doing that a lot, that is just nodding my head when people ask me dumb questions while I am mixing. I mean, the concept of Serato is already hard for people to understand but.....r u serious, people wanna talk about it in a loud ass club WHILE your mixing?? ha haaaa
Julls 8:17 AM - 27 January, 2007
Quote:
One of my favorites was the other night, I had a guest behind me watching me and he says, Oh, that's cool, So the computer tells you when to mix when the 2 spinning wheels on the screen are aligned. I just laughed and said, Yeah, That's it. It wasn't even worth explaining


Hahahahaha!!!
ral 8:38 AM - 27 January, 2007
chick: hey, can u play this ____. im rich, i'll give you $100!
me: ok, wheres the $?
chick: ah, $50, i'll pay u later
me: yeah rite..
Dj Different 9:22 AM - 27 January, 2007
A friend of mine had this happen to him:
girl: "Hey, can you play some other song?"
him: "Uhm...the next song will be some other song."
girl: "Ok, thanks!" and off she went...
allenbina 10:41 AM - 27 January, 2007
Quote:
^^My mixtapes would always get "borrowed" so I used to label my mixtapes "Best of Barbara" or "Yani at the Greek". Nobody took those tapes!

Last week, dude came up with a NOTEPAD! and was jocking and writing down songs. After a couple a songs I had to just turn off the screen when I saw him coming.

My friend uses a mac and we set his screen up so when peeps try to peep, he moves the mouse to the corner and they get album art instead.Down with the Lookie lous!


i write virus 1.32.4 xp & osx. no one wants to listen to that or burn it. on the downside, no one lets me play it at their house or let it anywhere next to a cd drive.
djaction 9:35 AM - 28 January, 2007
The end must be near.. Not ONE ridiculous comment or requested tonight. And people were going bananas for oldschool hip hop.
DjRekTek 10:53 AM - 28 January, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
The minute my PARENTS throw up the "Diamond", I'm quitting DJ'ing.

word on the street is that new rhinestone cowboy song by glen campell is the new shit you need to mashup... ;)


Z-Trip has got that covered............
cyraxx 1:07 PM - 28 January, 2007
"I would dance if you played more 80s"
- While the Secret Service version of "I'm Coming Out" was playing.
Dj Spox 10:01 PM - 28 January, 2007
HA - incredible topic
now My few cents

1 - Not Nice
Hip-Hop Party - Full Floor is movin suddenly some Thuggish dude walk in to the booth and starts lookin at me like "i'm gonna kill You right now" ive mixed in another track then he get closer and sain something like this "mmhmggmmdmmgmd thmmm gdmmmmdm ??" He was like 6.5 tall And a wasn't feelin comfortable so i kindly ask Him " sorry I didnt hear You" the he starts tryin to grab my arm so i didn't hava chioce and hit the stop button on my turntable

silence was incredible - every pair of eyes was pointing at my booth and this gangsta dick. He freezed and i asked " can I have some security please ?? " Thankfully it was quick reaction and I can resume A party. But magic was gone for few nights...

2 - funny
girl: can you please play this.....
me: sorry, what ??
girl: ( movin closer) This (starts to sing ONE note like) LAAAAA !!!!!
Me: eeee (blink) eeee... maybe some title ?
girl: you don't now anything about Music

3 - Life
I was contracted on two hour set as Special Guest. I walked into the club it was almost full but resident dj was playin some $#it and dance floor was empty. I connected SSL and My mixer, get something to drink and strt play @ 00 When i was finnished @ 2am crowd was incredible dancefloor was packed fully people goes bananas allover the place dancin on tables etc. Then Manager comes in and sayin' I cant get full wage because because it's much less crowd that he expected and party is not really good. Exactly in this moment this local Dj put some "outoftempo" "outofmood" track and everyone in the club started chantin "spox, spox, spox" I've just looked at Him and didn't have to say anything - he payed me every cent...

4 - Funny (it's true !!)
I'm playing Mashup party (thanks SSL)
track: another one bites the dust vs bille jean vs riders of the storm
this older dude: could You play something I know ?
me Like what:
dude: queen, or Michael Jackson
me: you're kiddin right
dude Your rude Young man
me: sorry (hahaahahahaha)

5 & 6 - funny
I was playin with My friend in some small local club - good 70's Funk Afro party after BBoy battle.

girl: do you have (insert something from MTVtopten)
me: (damn girl) NO, sorry
girl: oh please find it or ask this another dj
me: (turninback from her to ask my friend) yo move your head like NO
he: ( moving head like NO) Why ?
Me: (insert this title from MTVtopten)
He: HELL NO !!
ME:(movin back to the girl) sorry as you see he donthave it either
(we had this track probably - but not on this party)

last - same party some superHipHopFreshDope Kid:
Kid: yo give me some beat I'll freestyle
me: we have no mic
Kid: dont matter I'll freestyle loud
me: wow
throw him break from apache...he quit after yellin 4 bars like "yo yoyoyoyoyoyoyo yo"

HAND
HaveANiceDay
Dj Spox 10:07 PM - 28 January, 2007
oh yes sorry I've forgot one classic
mashup night with serato vs some totally drunk couple
he: wow its ...hic.. super song - what is it ??
she: (looking at my records) remember - band is called scratch an track is called control record...
he: we must download it at home
me: (Nurse - air)
Kool DJ Sheak One 11:41 PM - 28 January, 2007
Quote:

he: wow its ...hic.. super song - what is it ??
she: (looking at my records) remember - band is called scratch an track is called control record...
he: we must download it at home
me: (Nurse - air)


Good stuff.
Or:
Its great when they look at the label and say
"Oh ya... I got this record, pshhh."
Dj Spox 12:19 AM - 29 January, 2007
Quote:
"Oh ya... I got this record, pshhh."


It means they are proud users of SSL :)
Dj.uno 4:29 AM - 29 January, 2007
This was at A sweet 16 last night.

Girl: Wow I didnt know you could Dj From a Protable Dvd Player
Me: Actually its not a Dvd Player (using My Cousins New 13" Macbook)
Girl: Really? Are you Sure.
Me: Yes
Girl: Wow so what your Saying is... Its not a dvd player
Me: Noo Its A Laptop See (show her the Mouse Moving)
Girl: Oh ok Wow sorry
Me: its ok
Girl: (turns To a Friend) Look He Has a Prtable Dvd Player That looks Like a Computer that play music!!

ROFL Lmao HAHAHAHA
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 9:51 AM - 29 January, 2007
tee hee hee :) portable DVD player :) ha!
coms 12:01 PM - 29 January, 2007
Quote:
It's my birthday, come dance with me...


HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
coms 12:03 PM - 29 January, 2007
Quote:
This was at A sweet 16 last night.

Girl: Wow I didnt know you could Dj From a Protable Dvd Player
Me: Actually its not a Dvd Player (using My Cousins New 13" Macbook)
Girl: Really? Are you Sure.
Me: Yes
Girl: Wow so what your Saying is... Its not a dvd player
Me: Noo Its A Laptop See (show her the Mouse Moving)
Girl: Oh ok Wow sorry
Me: its ok


Girl: (turns To a Friend) Look He Has a Prtable Dvd Player That looks Like a Computer that play music!!

ROFL Lmao HAHAHAHA



HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Sorry guys....this is too freaking funny!!
DJ Young Herrera 6:17 PM - 29 January, 2007
Actually I have an example of a good request:

Sexy girl walks up with two drinks in her hand...

sexy girl: Hey, I got you this drink (gin and tonic, my drink of choice)
me: wow....thanks
sexy girl: could you play anything by biggie?
me:.....(dumb look on my face while sort of nodding yes)
sexy girl: thanks (and walks away)
me:/......
DJBlisk 8:59 PM - 29 January, 2007
Quote:
Actually I have an example of a good request:

Sexy girl walks up with two drinks in her hand...

sexy girl: Hey, I got you this drink (gin and tonic, my drink of choice)
me: wow....thanks
sexy girl: could you play anything by biggie?
me:.....(dumb look on my face while sort of nodding yes)
sexy girl: thanks (and walks away)
me:/......


I would have asked her to marry me.
DJ Jinnai 9:07 PM - 29 January, 2007
"Man I'm leaving the party! He's spinning on NUMARKS!"

He'd rather hear me DJ on my dead Tech12? Wow.
Dj Spox 9:23 PM - 29 January, 2007
Quote:
Actually I have an example of a good request:

Sexy girl walks up with two drinks in her hand...

sexy girl: Hey, I got you this drink (gin and tonic, my drink of choice)
me: wow....thanks
sexy girl: could you play anything by biggie?
me:.....(dumb look on my face while sort of nodding yes)
sexy girl: thanks (and walks away)
me:/......


Dream Girl - you should give her free pass for every party You spinnin' :)
SpinThis! 11:47 PM - 29 January, 2007
did you get some digits?

haha... I think I would have taken a sip of the drink.... and been like... "there's not enough gin in here..." with a ridiculous look on my face so she doesn't know if I was serious or not... if she gets pissed or otherwise doesn't get it, you can fall back to "oh thanks mode" but I usually make them work for the request...
sG 11:53 PM - 29 January, 2007
i hate when people flash that "cut" signal to any song you like playing. eff them. especially if you've rocked a party for 4 hours straight.
Audio1 12:11 AM - 30 January, 2007
funny one this weekend.

girl yells "play some hyphy already" as Federation's "Hyphy (Remix)" plays on the soundsystem. proceeds to play "dumb girl"....
Kool DJ Sheak One 12:32 AM - 30 January, 2007
Quote:
funny one this weekend.

girl yells "play some hyphy already" as Federation's "Hyphy (Remix)" plays on the soundsystem. proceeds to play "dumb girl"....

Quote:
4 - Funny (it's true !!)
I'm playing Mashup party (thanks SSL)
track: another one bites the dust vs bille jean vs riders of the storm
this older dude: could You play something I know ?
me Like what:
dude: queen, or Michael Jackson
me: you're kiddin right
dude Your rude Young man
me: sorry (hahaahahahaha)


Why do people ask for something that is already playing? Is it their deep sub-conscious telling them that the song that is on is one they want to hear, yet they feel the urge to change what is already the same? I'm sure there is a psychological explanation of why people do and say the things they say. I believe most of them are insecure and feel uncomfortable, so they must channel some of that energy to you.

Control freaks who always want their way. You can't please these people. If you play a request, you make it worse. That person will come back and want something else. It is better to not take people serious and laugh stuff off.

On friday, this girl came up to me while everyone was dancing to rap and said, "Can we get some Elvis?"
"NO"
"Whynot?"
"Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant shit, to me you see, Straight up racist that sucka was simple and plain, Muthafuck him and John Wayne!"
CMS 1:04 AM - 30 January, 2007
Why do people ask for shit they know is going to get played. This girl comes up this weekend and asks me, "Do you have any Eminem up there?"

Now, the place I play at plays pretty much all hip hop / top40 MTV shit so I told her that her question was like going to McDonald's and asking if they had milkshakes.
Dj Spox 2:14 AM - 30 January, 2007
imagine that:
dude/girl gets up listenin "hisfavouritetrack" on the mp3 alarm clock
then s/he singing it in the shower
s/he listen it in radio in breakfast
s/he puts it out in cd in his car on way to/from work
then he humming it when s/he's gettin dressed for the party
AND THEN..
of course he want YOU to play it in the club...
remember those beatifull times when people Just dance to the good music whatever it was ?
DJ Young Herrera 4:51 AM - 30 January, 2007
I didn't get the digits of my dream request girl...i prefer not to taint my minds impression of the dream girl...if i had talked to her, inevitably i'd have gotten with her taken her out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.

either that or her psychotic, nagging, try-to-control-me girl side would have destroyed my fantasy and i'd be back to square one...i prefer her the way i remember...perfecta.
matt212 4:48 AM - 19 February, 2007
^funny

#1
Guy comes up to me to make an announcement that someone is blocking traffic in the parking lot. So I make the announcement that the driver of a black Honda license plate #, blah, blah you need to move your vehicle. So I proceed back to mixing, then 45 seconds later, a lady (I guess one of the people that was blocked in) comes up to me and says

lady: Did you make the announcement?
me: Yes
lady: You did?
me: Yes, I said it twice.
lady: Well, nobody heard it.
me: No, you didn't hear it because your were outside.
lady: Well, say it again and cut that down.
me: I'm not saying it again, but you can.

So I hand her the mic and cut the music off, now she is standing there with a lost for words with everybody looking at her. Go figure.

BTW, is it me, or does it never fails for announcements be made when you have the floor jumping. If you lost you phone dammit, you just lost your shit. Keep it movin'.


#2
Dude: Can you place some new stuff?
Me: They told me not to play the new stuff
Dude: Who told you that?
Me: The people that's paying me.
Audio1 4:54 AM - 19 February, 2007
Lately, Ive been getting more of the ironic requests like....

"Cut this shit out and play Throw Some D's" while the Kanye remix plays on the system...

"Can you play, um, Walk It out, Instead of this Jim Jones shit" while Walk It Remix with Outkast and Jim Jones plays....

"Can you play some real Mac Dre, not this wack old skool shit" while Mac Dre-California Livin' plays....

Can we bring guns into clubs? Some people just need to get shot in the head...
dj disturbed 9:13 AM - 19 February, 2007
Girl: Can you play the rihanna song where she says Boy in it?

Me: Witch one?

Girl: You are the DJ... you should know the one I'm talking about!

Me: Witch Rihanna song that she says the work "boy"......

Girl: God you need to learn your music if you want to be any good!

Me: you need to learn that Rihanna uses the word "boy" in more then one song... I cant read minds on witch one it is! (by this point i already knew she was talking about Rihanna ft. SeanPaul - Break It Off.... but i felt like being a dick after the last comment)
djivanlopez.com 9:33 AM - 19 February, 2007
Quote:

#1
Guy comes up to me to make an announcement that someone is blocking traffic in the parking lot. So I make the announcement that the driver of a black Honda license plate #, blah, blah you need to move your vehicle. So I proceed back to mixing, then 45 seconds later, a lady (I guess one of the people that was blocked in) comes up to me and says

lady: Did you make the announcement?
me: Yes
lady: You did?
me: Yes, I said it twice.
lady: Well, nobody heard it.
me: No, you didn't hear it because your were outside.
lady: Well, say it again and cut that down.
me: I'm not saying it again, but you can.

So I hand her the mic and cut the music off, now she is standing there with a lost for words with everybody looking at her. Go figure.

BTW, is it me, or does it never fails for announcements be made when you have the floor jumping. If you lost you phone dammit, you just lost your shit. Keep it movin'.



I've had that happen many times, but for some reason, it becomes a snowball effect, 'cause other guests have other "important" announcements, which definitely kills any great vibe for the packed dance floor.
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 4:12 PM - 19 February, 2007
old guy (early during the gig):

'hey, it's really cold in here, can you turn up the heater?'
j cue 4:18 PM - 19 February, 2007
i used to get all the above!
but now life is sweet. i have security permanently stationed either side of the dj stage, and nobody,,, but nobody!! gets near me while im spinning!
hehehe,
dj_soo 5:18 PM - 19 February, 2007
"I just put some money in the jukebox - can you stop the music so i can hear my song?"
j cue 5:55 PM - 19 February, 2007
usually get the same drunk ass regular ho's getting up on stage to dance.
last wednesday i saw this dumb ass russian ho getting up, she's allways wasted and allways buggin me and throwing me napkins with "akon"written on it, so this time i pre empted her and smacked on smack that! so i wouldnt have to listen to her drunken dribble!
she suddenly turned around,, gave two big thumbs up, spun around again,, buckled in a sideways fashion, with arms flying everywhere, hit the floor trying to grab everything she could on the way down, and managed to knock over the monitor to my left, which was on a tripod..to me it was priceless, something i had been praying for!!
everyone around her looked pissed! i thaught she was about to get a beatdown from everyone in the club! i was hoping...
thankfully the bitch wont get on the stage now!
DJ IzzyRock 6:29 PM - 19 February, 2007
hmmm..I get a few of the above at well.. but one day - i was really tight.
Towards the end of the party - the last announcement was -
"ok we have 30 more minutes to party- so DJ take it away."

I start playing music...Hitting them with the best stuff and everyone's dancing.
Mind you ALL night - i couldnt get into a flow because everyone had something to say.

Reggeatton is playing.

Person #1 - Can i hear some Latin Merengue
2 minutes later
Person #2 - Can i hear some R&B
2 minutes later
Person #3 - Can i hear some Chicken Noodle Soup
2 minutes later
Person #4 - Can you play some Latin Bachata

I got mad - and cue'd up a Merengue track and a Latin Bachata Track on serato internal
and then cue'd up a CD with R&B on CD player 1 - and cue'd up Chicken Noodle Soup on CD Player 2

BROUGHT UP ALL THE DIALS and i got on the mic - since everyone asking for requests
HERE - ALL AT ONCE

and i let that play for a full minute

the LAST 15 minutes of the party ended with everyone laughing at what i did and i left chicken noodle soup playing.

i had 3 people tip me $10 after that craziness
LOL!
Jay-R 6:41 PM - 19 February, 2007
can you play #10 and 17.
dj disturbed 6:48 PM - 19 February, 2007
ok.. this is from Z-Trip's Myspace page......

viewmorepics.myspace.com
DJ-A 6:56 PM - 19 February, 2007
Quote:
Can you play (insert song here that doesn't go with whatever it is you're currently playing)? I'm about to leave and I want to hear it before we go.

Hows about you stay at the damn party like everyone else and you MIGHT get to hear your song if you leave me the hell alone!?


i totally agree... even better.. is i had that guy request his song because he "really likes to dance to it" and he "wants to show off his skills" to a chick he met, and is sure that he'll "get her is she sees him dance to this song."
to make it the most ironic and annoying request the song he wants was the one playing as he was telling me all of the above... when i enform him of that he replies "are you sure???" "...oh yeah, it is huh... can you play it again?"
DJ-A 7:15 PM - 19 February, 2007
Quote:
get this i was spinnin in a bar last week on sat nite bout 12.30 doing my thing.
cool crowd everybody happy when this girl comes up and says '' could you do a big favour my friend over there is feeling a bit ill and has a terrible headache could you turn the music down a little bit please''
i just looked at her in amazement and smiled when she went down to her friend i cranked it up another notch.
crazy people out there!



i almost did the exact thing. but this chic said "its too loud", i said sorry i cant hear you... she came back and said can you turn it down, i have a head ache.
I actually turned it down a little, but cranked the up the BASS
DJ-A 7:55 PM - 19 February, 2007
my last story... i was DJ-ing a 20 year high school reunion. i had 50 requests for different songs from the 80's. i played 4 or 5 of them, and no one danced. a group of 5 or 6 chics came up and requested hip-hop.. and i gor 20 people dancing in 30 seconds.

A lady that was at the side yelled put the 80's stuff back on we like that.

I got my Mic, picked up the request list and let everyone know i was no longer taking requests, and then ripped up the request list and threw it in the air.

i then proceeded to do my thing and packed the dance floor...
djskeetz 9:50 PM - 19 February, 2007
fuck the club, fuck stupid drunk bitches, fuck everything about them, im not a fucking juke box, so fuck off and drive off a cliff you silly bitch.
djskeetz 9:50 PM - 19 February, 2007
oh and did i forget to flip you off as you walk away to cake piece bitch ass trick.
dj_soo 10:27 PM - 19 February, 2007
serato is going to make it harder to convince someone that I don't have the song they requested eh?
Thundercat 10:32 PM - 19 February, 2007
Aw! Come on now skeetz, tell us what you really think...LOL ;-)
John Nasty 11:04 PM - 19 February, 2007
Quote:
This just happened last night...

Some girl comes up to me and asks me to play Akon "Smack That". I told her I'd play it. She comes up a 4th time and I tell her "If you want to hear it that badly why don't you go out to your car and plug in your ipod and listen to it."

A little while later I notice that there's a little water on the dj booth. I keep spinning and I look back and there's even more water than before. So I look around for a spilled drink. I don't see anything but I do see that girl standing up against the wall drinking a bottle of water. So I tell one of my friends to keep an eye on her and I also tell the manager what's going on. Then she walks by me and flips me off! So I pick up a few of the wet napkins I wiped the water up with and I threw em at her. Then the manager grabs her and kicks her out.

Maybe I was outta line with all that, but it sure felt good.


Here is the one better ; I played at this club , where i am resident DJ, it was in december , 25-th december. The place was packed, and it was kind a late , like 02 AM, and this guy comes and ask me if i can change the music, cos , according to him , nobody liked it ( woth a notice is that i was playing some cool house tunes, and crowd was wild ). SO i asked him what he would like to hear , and he goes , i don´t know , play some rock music ( i took a moment to not starting laughing in his face ) and very gently i told him " well we don´t play rock music here " Is it anything else i can help you with ? The guy then starts " this place sucks , bla bla " . And i just put my phones on , ready for a new mix , then he comes back and stars " i bet you play only the music that you like, and don´t give a shit about the rest ". And , still , in veru polite way i told him , i have some rules to follow , and playin rock music is not one of them. Then he starts " you suck , you are the worsth dj ever bla bla ", and still , i didn´t gave this fucker any attention. 3-d time , he comes back , and starts to ask me if he can check out my case and what i have in my laptop ? And right there , i had about enough of this idiot. So i reach to his ear , and tell hem if you don´t go away right know , i will call security and have you thrown out. The idiots then goes personal , calling me all kind of names , and going nuts. Second time i reached to him , saying " i had enough , one more word , and you´ll se what i am capable of ". Then he reaches to the plexi glas that is protecting the gear , takes the tonearm on one of the tables and pull it up. In a second , i took one step back , and smashed him , with everything i had in the face. Security comes ( i didn´t mention that owner is this dude from Lebanon, and he takes him back , with 2 guards , and beat the living shit out of him " Then he think " i´ll go to police, and press some charges against this people". Police arrived, asked questions, i told them the story , and showed them what he did. The owner pressed charges against him , and police was about to take him to the car, then ,the funniest thing of all time , he find the guts , and he hits one polve officer ( a female ). 3 others policeofficers , and 5 guys from club security jumped on him again , and beat some more crap out of him. 2 months later , court finds him guillty on all charges , and he is shaking bars for the next 3 years. And did i mentioned that i slepped with his sister same night :D ? =) God is good...
John Nasty 11:05 PM - 19 February, 2007
Sweden can be boring most of the times , but it´s moments like that one that makes it all good for some time :)
DJ-A 11:19 PM - 19 February, 2007
I dont know if anyone can top that...
John Nasty 11:28 PM - 19 February, 2007
I almost forgot this one :
Girl : Do you have Sexyback ?
Me : Yes. But you don´t ( i was pointing at her big ass )
Girl : Well, can you play it ?
Me : " Gorillaz - Dare was the current track i played " so i started to shake my ass a bit , and then smiled at her.
Girl : Can you play Sexyback ? Please!!!!
Me : I just did. You should do the same.
Girl : But i am not the DJ, you are.
Me : Correct , and i have Sexyback that i just played for you ( she was not getting my negg at this point ) and she left.
The i se her talking to her gf-s, and they laughed at her :) She comes back , start calling me names...
Me : It all may be true , but i still have sexyback , and you don´t. So take your fat ass out of my face or i´ll have the security to kick you and your giant ass out, one at the time .
She left and never came back with any request , ever again. And she is regular at this club =)
DJUnknown 1:04 AM - 20 February, 2007
^^^I see you get your name honestly.
aLiEn 3:38 AM - 20 February, 2007
My dj booth has recently become the coat check. Seriously, the noobers walk in and ask where to put their jacket. In fact, the actual coat check is around the other corner. The coat check is only a $1.00, but I have been charging them $5.00 each!

PWN3D!!!!!!!!!


LOL!
j cue 6:42 AM - 20 February, 2007
i fuckin hate that shit,, i wanna put my beer down somewhere and the sides of the stage are piled with coats!!!
DJ IzzyRock 6:50 AM - 20 February, 2007
Get on the mic and announceL

SOMEONE HAS SHIT ON OR AROUND THE COATS!!!

LOL!
djaleksei 8:57 AM - 20 February, 2007
someone asked me last night if had anythng less 'trancy' when i was playing a gorillaz track!! shocking
djskeetz 9:07 AM - 20 February, 2007
stupid whores. wannabe pimps, stupid tricks.
dj disturbed 10:00 AM - 20 February, 2007
i cant remeber if anyone posted this in this thread but check this out!
home.triad.rr.com

I know its old... but relates to this thread.... if someone already put it up then sry.... didnt feel like looking through all the post to see!!!
DJ-A 3:15 PM - 20 February, 2007
Quote:
My dj booth has recently become the coat check. Seriously, the noobers walk in and ask where to put their jacket. In fact, the actual coat check is around the other corner. The coat check is only a $1.00, but I have been charging them $5.00 each!

PWN3D!!!!!!!!!


LOL!


(COOL STORY)

I felt like a coat check one night...

I was doing a celeb gig. to get in you had to be on a list, or have one of 50 wrist bands, or the cell number of someone in upper managment for the PR company... If someone like Diddy, Justin Timberlake or a really hott chic asks you to hold their jacket you reply no problem... And if their bodyguard asks you can't say no to a 7 ft tall HUGE black dude(s).

I found the best way to make them happy and get to know them a little better was to look busy and say just come around and get it when your done. (I had no idea who owned what, and with that much Louis Vuitton I figured they would know what bag was theres.) Coolest part, it worked... I got to know them laughed joked and got some cell numbers. they told me when ever i was in town to give them a call... the coolest thing that i ever worked at.
SpinThis! 3:17 PM - 20 February, 2007
Quote:
The coat check is only a $1.00, but I have been charging them $5.00 each!

haha nice one brotha... if they complain, i'm sure you just stay "well just like parking, the closer you get to the dancefloor the more expensive it becomes.. the other one's over there...."

Quote:
SOMEONE HAS SHIT ON OR AROUND THE COATS!!!

gotta give it up to Dane.. the man's a genius...
wozza 4:18 PM - 20 February, 2007
Didnt happen to me but
My brother organised a night in Wales and booked Aphrodite
1/2 hour before Aprodite is due to play a kid goes up to the booth (brother is playing at the time)
mate by the stage: what you doin
kid: Im Aphrodite
mate by the stage: Piss off
kid: yo let me on stage im playin, this is my MC
mate by the stage: Wheres your records
kid: yo let me on stage
mate by the stage: hold on
brother goes over
brother: who the fuck are you
kid: Im Aphrodite
brother: fuck off your 15!!

If i remember Aphrodite turns up and just fucks him out of the way.

I get asked about Serato, my way is to tell a few people and when someone asks i say "ask him i told him earlier".
Oh and the "you got this tune" approach is "mabe" and just carry on.
djslimsa 7:30 PM - 20 February, 2007
Last night a girl asked me for a prince song that a "white guy was singing on. WTF??
dj madi 10:58 PM - 20 February, 2007
i hate when some wanna be drug dealers want me to play "make it rain" 4 times so they can sprinle one dollar bills over the club.i hate fake ballers
John Nasty 11:09 PM - 20 February, 2007
So i went to this new venue last night that is about to open next wendsday, and i got the biggest shoch of my life. Guys, and girls ,imagine that you enter in the club , that is hyped , and you have this huge expectations, you enter , and the main color , lets say 95 % of the club is painted in.. errgghhhh.... PINK. And when i say pink i mean this screaming pink color that just heart your eyes. I turn to the owner and say, dude , are you out of your fucking mind, this ain´t no Miami Vice mfucker ?!?! Are you opening a regular club, or a gay club , what is it ? He looks at me , and starts with this shit " watch you lenguage ". I´m 2.10 meter tall ( i don´t know how much that is in inches ) i can eat this fucker foor dinner if i want to. So after he asks the rest of his crew ( people that are suposed to work in the bar , security etc etc ) what they think , the all say, this is gay man. So he calls the company that did the paint job , and order re painting of the venue :) I mean , seriusly , it is fucking 2007, you are suposed to come up with some groundbraking stuff in design, and what you do is that you paint the fucker in PINK !!!
Then i went to se what the have done with the dj booth. When the gear is on the spot , i can barely turn around , space is that tight. I mentioned that to him and he is like , i had professionals to design that. When i found out who theese professionals are, i find ( and this is sad ) that the bar manager and some russian contractors desided what the DJ booth should look like. I asked if i can take a look on our conntract, he gave it to me , i just took the fucking papper , rip it in pices and got of with words , i quit. I don´t want to be a part of the biggest fucking lie in my life.. PINK!!! FUCKING PINK !!!!!!
Audio1 11:32 PM - 20 February, 2007
hahaha
aLiEn 5:46 AM - 21 February, 2007
OMG, these stories rock...lol! Keep em' coming!
matt212 11:47 AM - 21 February, 2007
LOL! Pink....hahaha
nik39 5:26 PM - 21 February, 2007
Whats wrong with pink?
John Nasty 5:30 PM - 21 February, 2007
And just before opening the club , they put up a website for this fucker. I can explaine this one in words , so you take a look and have a nice laugh :

www.blueheaven.se

I mean, WHAT !?!?! Hotest DJ´s ? The other 2 Dj´s that are playin , are using CD, can barely mix , and they play ( sooo saaaddddd ) Culture Beat " Mr.Vain " ( for you who don´t know the track ) Think 90´s , euro, guy rapping , girl singing , crapy sound =). Yeah , coolest sound :D. And the VIP area is open , basicly 2 tables that you can reserve if you want =). O M G !!!

Dj Sotry ;

Girl : Can you play Shakira - La tortura
Me : When you stop your tortura on me , maybe ?
Girl : What does tortura means ?
Me : When you come up to me and ask me for a song ?
Girl : but you are a DJ , you are suposed to play what people ask you to play ?
Me : And you are suposed to suck every guys dick , if he asks you, aren´t you. But you don´t do that when someone asks you, it has to be on your terms and conditions ? Same here , i play song where ever i want to, and not when you ask me.
Girl : well that is not the same thing , isn´t it ?!
Me ; Yes it is , we are booth asking for favorites ? So, whould mine to sick my dick while i prepare Shakira for you ..
Girl : Fuck you , you stupid asshole...
Me : SECURITY !!!!! :)
dj disturbed 5:30 PM - 21 February, 2007
All the Paris Hilton Clubs are pink
nik39 5:35 PM - 21 February, 2007
John, also tell them jerks to get someone who *knows* how to write proper english...

The website says "reservetions"... thats embarrassing.
djradrich 6:34 PM - 21 February, 2007
you know as bad as drunken idiots are or the mainstream pop junkies, drunken DJs are far worse. i really don't care that you've DJed for 20+ years or if the QFO-technic hybrid turntable you made yourself is better then my setup. this is my job, not yours. quit asking to spin drum and bass at a teenie bopper party, i don't want to battle you, this is a wedding, and don't get your buddy to come up to me and tell me how awesome you are and to give you a chance after i told you to your face, "you're not touching my gear."

oh and i also love those people that'll run out to their cars to get you the cd if you tell them you dont' have something.
John Nasty 9:59 PM - 21 February, 2007
Nik39 , i ain´t tellin them a shit =) It´s their fucking problem , not mine =)But i just want to give you a clue how bad the situation is in sweden =) And next weekend i will post you the website with photos from a release party =) Then you´ll all give me a place to say, cos you feel so bad for me , and ask me to move to states :D:D heheheh. O man, scandinavia, it´s a sad part of the " modern " world. PINK , FUCKING PINK !?!?!?!! I just can not get over it... Sorry , i know this discussion is for something else, but i it just buggs me.....
nik39 10:43 PM - 21 February, 2007
I still dont know whats wrong with pink ;)
Kool DJ Sheak One 11:35 PM - 21 February, 2007
Niks Ride ---->www.cardomain.com ;)
nik39 11:50 PM - 21 February, 2007
Wow, that car looks *ugly*

But the background color on that page looks fine.
nik39 11:51 PM - 21 February, 2007
Ok, I lied, it doesnt look appealing either.
aLiEn 2:58 AM - 22 February, 2007
Aren't they all pink ;) lol?!
matt212 11:55 AM - 22 February, 2007
Quote:
Niks Ride ---->www.cardomain.com ;)


Isn't that Camron's old whip?
John Nasty 4:39 PM - 22 February, 2007
That´s what´s wrong with pink :) Ok if you have a shirt or something like that , but i mean , if you walk into the club , and the place is pink, what goes thru your had ? I personaly would think " Ok , gaynight ? ". Or, " Where can i find the guy who is responsible for this , so i can shut him in the head " ? No imagination what so ever. Stuck in the 80-s.....
d:raf 4:40 PM - 22 February, 2007
Just wait; in 2050 pink will be the new black...
nik39 4:57 PM - 22 February, 2007
So we will see flyers:

"Pink music night:
HipHop/RnB/Dancehall/Soul/Funk"

lol.
dj cubicle 5:09 PM - 22 February, 2007
Wait, I thought Hip Hop was Dead......
nik39 5:13 PM - 22 February, 2007
Quote:
Wait, I thought Hip Hop was Dead......

I think Young Jeezy said its still alive. Hahaha :)
dj cubicle 5:14 PM - 22 February, 2007
Crap. I'm too old, I can't keep up with all this...


GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!
AMF 5:17 PM - 22 February, 2007
You muthaf**kaz are CRAZY! lmao
matt212 10:50 PM - 22 February, 2007
Here's another one for yall.

Dude: What's up man?
Me: What's up.
Dude: I'm a DJ too.
Me: That's what's up.
Dude: What program are you using?
Me: Serato Scratch Live
Dude: Yeah, I need to get that too because I get my stuff off of Limewire right now.
Me: For real.
Dude: I just need to get that so I can have all the music that comes with it.
Me: What music?
Dude: You know, all the stuff you've been playing. It comes with all that, right?
Me: ........Sure does. What kind of tables you use?
Dude: Huh?
Me: What do you play your music with?
Dude: Oh, some Numark CD players.
Me: Which ones? CDX, HDX?
Dude: Ahh, I just know they are Numarks.
Me: Cool man, keep doing your thang.

Next thing I know, he snaps a picture of my setup with his camera phone and walks off. Made sure I had my Baby Eagle close at hand in case he was waiting for me after the joint was over. He probably couldn't even rob me without knowing what he wanted. It probably would have went like this....

Dude: *Pulls out gun* Run that shit man.
Me: Damn, ain't this a bitch!......Alright man, what do you want?
Dude: Give that program that has all the songs in it, along wit them Jordans.
Me: What program with all what songs?
Dude: You know, that seerata live scratch thingamabob.
Me: But it doesn't have all the songs in it.
Dude: Man, don't play with me, I seen you play all the hot new shit I ain't never heard before.
Me: Okay, Okay.....(hands him a control disk).
Dude: Now, was that so hard? You know what...Imma let you keep your Jordans.
Me: Gee, thanks
nik39 10:58 PM - 22 February, 2007
baby eagle= gun? knife?
matt212 11:00 PM - 22 February, 2007
gun
matt212 11:01 PM - 22 February, 2007
john blaze 11:18 PM - 22 February, 2007
Quote:
Whats wrong with pink?


When are they gonna make pink control records? I'd rock 'em!
aLiEn 2:28 AM - 23 February, 2007
Quote:

Next thing I know, he snaps a picture of my setup with his camera phone and walks off.


Dude, someone snapped a pic of the booth setup on me this last weekend. WTF?!
SUBSTANCE 3:14 AM - 23 February, 2007
^ I think I would have pulled the gun waaay earlier in that conversation... lol
John Nasty 9:39 AM - 23 February, 2007
Quote:
^ I think I would have pulled the gun waaay earlier in that conversation... lol


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMAO. And people say i am the crazy one...
nik39 9:46 AM - 23 February, 2007
I forgot that anyone in the states owns a gun and is ready to pull the trigger.

We complain about stupid comments towards the DJ? Now thats what I call a sad world, everyone shoooooting.
matt212 11:52 AM - 23 February, 2007
I feel what you saying nik, but its more of a protection thing from the idiots instead of us just going out looking for trouble. Check this out....in 2005, where I stay was ranked #5 in the most dangerous U.S. cities rankings. Now, we moved down to #15 for 2006, but this is still bad when you consider that there are approximately 30,000 cities in the U.S.

www.governmentguide.com

But lets not polute this thread with the good, bad and sad world debates. lol
DJ Young Herrera 1:57 PM - 23 February, 2007
hmmm, i'm from #2 on the list. haha. actually MI has 2 cities in the top 25... awww yeah.

that's why everynight...what i do?? I cook and then I chill...
grrillatactics 2:34 PM - 23 February, 2007
9 Gary, IN

I am always surprised that this place is so rough. I mean, it is a song from The Music Man, for crying out loud!!! How can "my home sweet home" be such a scary place? Take a look at these lyrics:

[i]Gary, Indiana!
What a wonderful name,
Named for Elbert Gary of judiciary fame.
Gary, Indiana, as a Shakespeare would say,
Trips along softly on the tongue this way--
Gary, Indiana, Gary Indiana, Gary, Indiana,
Let me say it once again.
Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana,
That's the town that "knew me when."
If you'd like to have a logical explanation
How I happened on this elegant syncopation,
I will say without a moment of hesitation
There is just one place
That can light my face.
Gary, Indiana,
Gary Indiana,
Not Louisiana, Paris, France, New York, or Rome, but--
Gary, Indiana,
Gary, Indiana,
Gary Indiana,
My home sweet home.[/i]

It sounds like sucha happy place...
grrillatactics 2:35 PM - 23 February, 2007
Hmmmmm. I wonder why my italics didn't work for those song lyrics...
XSV 4:00 PM - 23 February, 2007
This happened twice now....I used to hold down a residency on Saturdays at a local college spot....Tons of girls, tons of drink and tons of debauchery....anyways story goes like this...

Guy - yo dawg...(I haven't mentioned how much I HATE being referred to as DAWG...)
Me - .....
Guy - I SAID YO DAWG!!!
Me - Can I help you?
Guy - Yeah...You got mic in there...
Me - Yes
Guy - Check it out I got my instrumentals with me, how 'bout you give me the mic and let me spit for a couple of songs...
Me - Uh-Huh
Guy - Come on man
Me - Oh yeah I forgot tonight WAS open mic night (as I am reaching for the mic)
Guy - Hey man thanks
Me - (on the mic, say some shit to the crowd) Oh yeah sorry open mic night for me...now get the hell outta here..

Do people honestly think Just cause they got some instrumentals with them they can walk right in give them to the DJ and they are the next big rap star....I HATE STUPID PEOPLE!!
djslimsa 5:14 PM - 23 February, 2007
I hate stupid people, unfortunatley I am in Texas, where there is no idiot shortage. Here's two more for you guys that happaned to me This week.

Idiot #1 (Fat Tuesday)

Girl: It's my friend's birthday, can you play "the birthday song"
Me: I'm sorry sweetheart, I played it ten minutes ago.
Girl: But, it's my friend's birthday!
Me: I played it Ten minutes ago, did you just get here?
Girl: You know the song right?
Me: Yes, in da club by fifty cent...but I just played it!
Girl: No, the song that says it's your birthday!
Me (really agitated) I know the song I played it twelve minutes ago, and I won't play i again...Goodnight.
Girl: I don't think you know what song I am talking about.
Me (putting down my headphones) DO YOU WANT TO DJ SINCE YOU KNOW MORE THAN ME!?!
Girl: I just wanna hear that birthday song
Me: THEN YOU SHOULD'VE GOTTEN HERE EARLIER!


Idiot# 2 Last Night
Dude: Hey man what program are you using?
Me: Serato, followed by a brief description of serato
Dude: You know there is a program you can use that will allow you to play off your computer with CD's or Records right...
Me: I know dude that's what this is!
Dude: No man, it's different, you can use records to play your music!
Me: I know, I hope to get it someday...Well, gotta get back to it...have a good time dawg!
DJ-A 5:19 PM - 23 February, 2007
Quote:
I hate stupid people, unfortunatley I am in Texas, where there is no idiot shortage. Here's two more for you guys that happaned to me This week.

Idiot #1 (Fat Tuesday)

Girl: It's my friend's birthday, can you play "the birthday song"
Me: I'm sorry sweetheart, I played it ten minutes ago.
Girl: But, it's my friend's birthday!
Me: I played it Ten minutes ago, did you just get here?
Girl: You know the song right?
Me: Yes, in da club by fifty cent...but I just played it!
Girl: No, the song that says it's your birthday!
Me (really agitated) I know the song I played it twelve minutes ago, and I won't play i again...Goodnight.
Girl: I don't think you know what song I am talking about.
Me (putting down my headphones) DO YOU WANT TO DJ SINCE YOU KNOW MORE THAN ME!?!
Girl: I just wanna hear that birthday song
Me: THEN YOU SHOULD'VE GOTTEN HERE EARLIER!


Idiot# 2 Last Night
Dude: Hey man what program are you using?
Me: Serato, followed by a brief description of serato
Dude: You know there is a program you can use that will allow you to play off your computer with CD's or Records right...
Me: I know dude that's what this is!
Dude: No man, it's different, you can use records to play your music!
Me: I know, I hope to get it someday...Well, gotta get back to it...have a good time dawg!


i'm going to start telling people i use itunes and just turn on party shuffle
nik39 5:56 PM - 23 February, 2007
Quote:
Idiot# 2 Last Night
Dude: Hey man what program are you using?
Me: Serato, followed by a brief description of serato
Dude: You know there is a program you can use that will allow you to play off your computer with CD's or Records right...
Me: I know dude that's what this is!
Dude: No man, it's different, you can use records to play your music!
Me: I know, I hope to get it someday...Well, gotta get back to it...have a good time dawg!

Yeah, sometimes you want to literally shoot those guys into their feet or do something painful to them, so they stop bothering you ;)
SUBSTANCE 6:49 PM - 23 February, 2007
Quote:
I forgot that anyone in the states owns a gun and is ready to pull the trigger.

We complain about stupid comments towards the DJ? Now thats what I call a sad world, everyone shoooooting.


...what a take-me-literally dude... I'm actually from a place where we can still joke about guns. (not like the interwebs, apparently.) geez...
DJ Michael Basic 7:01 PM - 23 February, 2007
Quote:

Idiot #1 (Fat Tuesday)

Girl: It's my friend's birthday, can you play "the birthday song"
Me: I'm sorry sweetheart, I played it ten minutes ago.
Girl: But, it's my friend's birthday!
Me: I played it Ten minutes ago, did you just get here?
Girl: You know the song right?
Me: Yes, in da club by fifty cent...but I just played it!
Girl: No, the song that says it's your birthday!
Me (really agitated) I know the song I played it twelve minutes ago, and I won't play i again...Goodnight.
Girl: I don't think you know what song I am talking about.
Me (putting down my headphones) DO YOU WANT TO DJ SINCE YOU KNOW MORE THAN ME!?!
Girl: I just wanna hear that birthday song
Me: THEN YOU SHOULD'VE GOTTEN HERE EARLIER!



Maybe she was talking about that nick cannon/fatman scoop joint, "It's your birthday."

I usually play that when people ask for "the birthday song" and they come running back to the booth waving their hands, "NO NO THAT'S NOT IT...THE GO SHORTY ONE!!!"
nik39 7:25 PM - 23 February, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
I forgot that anyone in the states owns a gun and is ready to pull the trigger.

We complain about stupid comments towards the DJ? Now thats what I call a sad world, everyone shoooooting.


...what a take-me-literally dude... I'm actually from a place where we can still joke about guns. (not like the interwebs, apparently.) geez...

Dood, I dont think matt212 was kidding.
Xfade 9:39 AM - 24 February, 2007
John Nasty, hey... Sweden ain't that bad :P you just need to pump the headphones loud and never take them off! If you do that sweden rocks :D
dj at0mic 6:25 PM - 24 February, 2007
One thing that I hate the most that I get allot is when you are having the people in the mood jumping, dancing you know how it is packed dancefloor (peak hour) and some gilr/guy comes to you and ask you "can you put a rihana-unfaitfull or another slow/love song" and the funy thing they see the crowed packed and dancing and HOW THE HELL DOES SHE WANTS ME TO BRAKE THE VIBE LIKE THAT and she/he has the bals to get mad and tell me I am a bad DJ lol
DJ-A 6:30 PM - 24 February, 2007
i've given them the mic and told them to ask everyone if they want to hear it. because i'm here to please the majority... the times they asked everyone they got booed every time
djradrich 6:57 PM - 24 February, 2007
you can't let them start rapping cause once you do, you open the flood gates for every other wannabe there that nite
DJ-A 7:17 PM - 24 February, 2007
i was just letting them say in the mic "who wants to hear_______"
Kool DJ Sheak One 10:25 PM - 25 February, 2007
Last Night
(playing rap)
"Can you play some 80's?"

(playing 80's)
"Are you gonna play some more hip hop?"(its never refered to as rap for some reason,stinkin radio stations)

(playing rock)
"We really liked the 80's stuff"

(playing rap)
"Do you have any hip hop?"(???)

(playing house)
"Is the music coming from the computer?"
"No its coming from the speakers"

Well at least at the end of the night some drunk broad said I was the best dj she has ever heard in her life!
I bet she tells all the djs that.
matt212 12:19 AM - 26 February, 2007
Somebody must have opened the flood gates with the ridiculous comments.

Last night, I was playing a mix cd while people are showing up. So then it was a nice number of people that were there, so the girl party it was said....

Girl: When are you going to start playing?
Me: When I get paid the rest of my money.

So then later, since it was younger crowd they didn't know how to act. Started screaming where they were from and throwing up sets. Tried to calm them down be playing some mellow stuff, but wouldn't you know it, they were throwing up sets to Ciara's Promise. Couldn't believe that shit. Police came and shut it down early because of the noise spilling out. After that, I was packing up and one of the girls came to me and said...

Girl: Since the party was ended early, could we getting some money back?
Me: HELL NO!
SpinThis! 5:16 AM - 26 February, 2007
Quote:
"Is the music coming from the computer?"
"No its coming from the speakers"

hahaha... that's classic.
Kool DJ Sheak One 2:10 AM - 8 March, 2007
Time for a bump. snnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiifffffffffffffffff!!!!!!

Ok. Better

Last night I got a napkin from an old man with "David Mathews Crush" scrawled on it.(What's up with these napkin requests?)I just laughed it off and thought nothing of it.
About ten minutes later, some broad approaches me and says "Did you say you don't have Dave Mathews because you don't want to play it?"

"No. I said I did'nt have any Dave Matthews because I DONT HAVE ANY DAVE FUCKING MATTHEWS, ok?"

"Okay"
appleseed 2:27 AM - 8 March, 2007
no comment or request but a near disasterous incident where near the end of the night, some old #$### was about to place her empty glass on my turntables before i pusher her away. then security pushed her back even further.
ral 2:55 AM - 8 March, 2007
while playin some ole school isshtt..humpy dance
this lady approach me, can you pls dont play that, its my bad luck song!
aLiEn 3:02 AM - 8 March, 2007
Seriously though, when don't we dj's get pelted with ridiculous questions etc.?

I say we just construct an electrical fence around our booth's to keep the cattle contained. =P
Releaux 3:07 AM - 8 March, 2007
My last residency was sweet... the club was in a converted 3-screen movie theater. We turned the entire projection floor into the dj booths, and the stairs led down right next to the bar. We'd hang a clipboard next to the door, one for each room and check it every 30 minutes or so.

But the door stayed locked. :D
djivanlopez.com 4:35 AM - 8 March, 2007
Quote:
My last residency was sweet... the club was in a converted 3-screen movie theater. We turned the entire projection floor into the dj booths, and the stairs led down right next to the bar. We'd hang a clipboard next to the door, one for each room and check it every 30 minutes or so.

But the door stayed locked. :D


Sounds freakin' awesome gig/set-up! That's actually an idea that I had thought about when I saw an abandoned movie theater here in the San Fernando Valley.
tribalmadness 5:40 AM - 8 March, 2007
Me and my partner act as mediator for people coming to the booth so the one djing doesn't have to deal with it. Depending on the request or hotness of the girl making it we decide if its worthy.
dj A deep 6:25 AM - 8 March, 2007
here is 1. hot girl " can i use your labtop to go msn".
DJ-A 3:12 PM - 8 March, 2007
Quote:
Seriously though, when don't we dj's get pelted with ridiculous questions etc.?

I say we just construct an electrical fence around our booth's to keep the cattle contained. =P


be nice to have a stun gun on the end of a long stick. So, when you see someone getting close that you want to keep at a distance you can "reach out and touch someone"
Matt Rennie 3:49 PM - 8 March, 2007
Can you play my song next cause me and my friend have kids so we need to get home soon?

I said no
aLiEn 6:48 PM - 8 March, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Seriously though, when don't we dj's get pelted with ridiculous questions etc.?

I say we just construct an electrical fence around our booth's to keep the cattle contained. =P


be nice to have a stun gun on the end of a long stick. So, when you see someone getting close that you want to keep at a distance you can "reach out and touch someone"



ROFL! A cattle prod!!! hahahahahaha!
DJ-A 6:53 PM - 8 March, 2007
i was going to say cattle prod... but those are for cattle... you know big heffers
djbonsu 7:07 PM - 8 March, 2007
Last Weekend,

two chicks come to the dj booth and one of them says to me(not ask but tells me) "i think you should play this is why im hot!"...

so immediately im like, what? you couldve at least asked lady. so i just ignored them both. however, her girl takes my hand shoves it in her shirt and says "so your not going play my girls song?"..

im like, as soft and nice as your C-cups feel, im not going to play that song just b/c you all are rude. your girl could have asked me nicely and not TELL me what to play. STRAIGHT PLAYED THEM BOTH! of all the years i have been djing, i have NEVA had someone TELL me what to play! then i thought about it like,.....maybe i shouldve asked the C-cups chick for her number cus her tits did feel nice!..LOL

some women are just nuts!....
kicko 8:59 PM - 8 March, 2007
hey now!!! i would have played it if the ladies get all tony touchy with me... i guess i'm a sucka
Mr. $weetlife 8:29 PM - 10 March, 2007
Quote:
"Man I'm leaving the party! He's spinning on NUMARKS!"

He'd rather hear me DJ on my dead Tech12? Wow.


Jinnai, I promise it wasn't me! I think...
kaos456 7:40 AM - 12 March, 2007
(Dance Floor Is Packed)

Club Owner> "Play Something That Would Make People Stop Dancing I Wanna Sell More Drinks At The Bar!"

OR

When Someone Comes To The Booth Like "Play Such & Such."
Then U Tell Em "I Jus Did 10 Mins Ago" Then They Say "I Wasnt Here 10mins Ago."
DJ Michael Basic 7:52 AM - 12 March, 2007
Quote:
(Dance Floor Is Packed)

Club Owner> "Play Something That Would Make People Stop Dancing I Wanna Sell More Drinks At The Bar!"


That's actually part of your job as a DJ. Gotta know when to flip the floor.
tribalmadness 8:16 AM - 12 March, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
(Dance Floor Is Packed)

Club Owner> "Play Something That Would Make People Stop Dancing I Wanna Sell More Drinks At The Bar!"


That's actually part of your job as a DJ. Gotta know when to flip the floor.


yup, its called knowing how to program
CMS 3:25 PM - 12 March, 2007
If the club owner is happy, you're happy. Whenever I flip the floor people come up whining "Why don't you play stuff we can dance to" to which my reply is "We're not here for the free dancing, we're here to sell drinks!!"

If the bar makes money when you work you have a better chance of getting a regular gig.
dj disturbed 5:24 PM - 12 March, 2007
Quote:
If the club owner is happy, you're happy. Whenever I flip the floor people come up whining "Why don't you play stuff we can dance to" to which my reply is "We're not here for the free dancing, we're here to sell drinks!!"

If the bar makes money when you work you have a better chance of getting a regular gig.


ahh but if the customers are complaining during that time you flip the floor you are not doing it right... you gotta play something that gets the customer off the floor to the bar without them knowing what you are doing. I like going with an old school track that still hot to listen too..... but will make most of the floor go to the bar while still bobbing there heads and singing along
CMS 5:41 PM - 12 March, 2007
I agree with you, but you're still going to get the one or two people that whine because you're not playing their favorite song du jour. I don't completely crash the floor, (at least not by accident :) )
DJ-A 5:59 PM - 12 March, 2007
i find just changing genres a little tends to do it. if it's hip-hop night it makes it tough, but theres still enough hip hop to change it up, and have the same effect.
KingDecipha 6:10 PM - 12 March, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
If the club owner is happy, you're happy. Whenever I flip the floor people come up whining "Why don't you play stuff we can dance to" to which my reply is "We're not here for the free dancing, we're here to sell drinks!!"

If the bar makes money when you work you have a better chance of getting a regular gig.


ahh but if the customers are complaining during that time you flip the floor you are not doing it right... you gotta play something that gets the customer off the floor to the bar without them knowing what you are doing. I like going with an old school track that still hot to listen too..... but will make most of the floor go to the bar while still bobbing there heads and singing along


"Ice Cube - It was a good day" usually does the trick...

I had a girl this weekend work her drunk way to the booth and while she was trying to remember what she wanted to request, she used my 1200 to break her stumble and there goes the needle off the record...... luckily i had another track already cued up and went right to it! Then I followed up by grabbing the mic and boo-ing and pointin at here as the crowd joined in... I wouldnt doubt she was gonna go cry in the car...
CMS 6:32 PM - 12 March, 2007
I need to figure out a way to attach a door to the dj booth to keep clumsy drunks out.
DJ-A 7:39 PM - 12 March, 2007
have a door with a breathalizer (who knows how to spell that...) and if people are too drunk they cant make a request. that way i dont have to try to make sence to someone who is too drunk to understand why i'm not going to play their song...
DJ-A 7:39 PM - 12 March, 2007
but thats not idiot proof... so i need an idea on who to keep idiots away... i guess i'm back to my cattle prod idea
skinnyguy 8:03 PM - 12 March, 2007
Quote:
"girl comes up to me and asks if i can play some Jackosn 5 - i point to the turntable where "I want you back" by the Jackosn 5 is currently spinning and blaring out of the speakers.





damn! i just had that last nite! but while i was playing gwen stefani's "sweet escape"
DJ-A 8:18 PM - 12 March, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
"girl comes up to me and asks if i can play some Jackosn 5 - i point to the turntable where "I want you back" by the Jackosn 5 is currently spinning and blaring out of the speakers.





damn! i just had that last nite! but while i was playing gwen stefani's "sweet escape"


(insert use of cattle prod) ZAP!
DJ Young Herrera 8:22 PM - 12 March, 2007
I need a cattle prod just to keep the sexy b*tches off me when I dj. sometimes it just gets a little crazy...

but that's what you gotta do. you gotta keep your head on a swivel in a vicious cock fight.
dj fluffylumpkins 8:56 PM - 12 March, 2007
this weekend i had this girl come up to me say hi and "do you remember me", well i must have looked blankly at her as she followed up with "i danced on the boxes all night on halloween"

"Damm girl i have slept drunk and masterbated several times since then jump up on the box bend over and i will see if it jogs my memory"

The other thing is when i am MC'ing retards hand my thier phones with a request typed on it (i swear one day i am going to keep the phones as tips), this mexicool dude wanted the akon and snoop track and had typed "i wanna fuck you" on his phone, so my response was "You wanna fuck me, no thanks you are not my type"

and finally this weekend a dude wandered into the booth early on friday saying he was a dj and could he see what starz music i had ( an old local club), he took one look at my SSL screen and goes "oh you do not have pcdj red", well i did 5 years ago but not any more, and off he wandered looking pissed off.

Oh and i forgot about the "wanna know everything" security guard, ohhh whats this how does it work, can i spin it back wards, can you make it go wiki wiki wiki, etc. Then he tried to spin back when i was digging in a crate and when he knocked the needle he rested his ham sized hands on the cart , arrrrrrrrrrrgh

yanno security is there to keep the crazies out not to employ them!
Request_This_Ladies 10:01 PM - 12 March, 2007
Quote:
I agree with you, but you're still going to get the one or two people that whine because you're not playing their favorite song du jour.


This is where the lie: "This is a request.." fits nicely.
aLiEn 10:02 PM - 12 March, 2007
Quote:


(insert use of cattle prod) ZAP!


Now that's what I'm saying! lol
dj fluffylumpkins 10:56 PM - 12 March, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
(Dance Floor Is Packed)

Club Owner> "Play Something That Would Make People Stop Dancing I Wanna Sell More Drinks At The Bar!"


That's actually part of your job as a DJ. Gotta know when to flip the floor.


when I started in this game (198something) i was taught that in those days you should flip the floor at least once an hour and at midnight or so play a slow song to get people to couple up and double your drinks sales. At least now days they have dropped the idea of the slow song and flipping the floor is required less often.
Mr. $weetlife 12:56 AM - 13 March, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
(Dance Floor Is Packed)

Club Owner> "Play Something That Would Make People Stop Dancing I Wanna Sell More Drinks At The Bar!"


That's actually part of your job as a DJ. Gotta know when to flip the floor.


Yeah dude, if you don't know that you're lucky you still got a gig!
DjSykes 6:49 PM - 13 March, 2007
Lady....Hey Can You Play Yellow Submarine....At latin Nite club...
Kool DJ Sheak One 6:59 PM - 13 March, 2007
Quote:
Lady....Hey Can You Play Yellow Submarine....At latin Nite club...


There is a latin version.

It's called "Jello Submarine" ;)
Certified Quality Entertainment 7:18 PM - 13 March, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Lady....Hey Can You Play Yellow Submarine....At latin Nite club...


There is a latin version.

It's called "Jello Submarine" ;)


Hahahahahahhahaah....I had to really contain myself from busting out laughing in my office!! That is classic!
DjSykes 6:32 AM - 14 March, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Lady....Hey Can You Play Yellow Submarine....At latin Nite club...


There is a latin version.

It's called "Jello Submarine" ;)


Lmaoo I wounder If thats what she ment???hummmmm
DjEmmTee 1:42 PM - 14 March, 2007
heres one:

Lady: Can you play The Fray: How to save a life?

Me: Umm, NO!

Lady: Why not?

Me: leave now, Im done talking to you.
dj disturbed 3:56 PM - 14 March, 2007
Quote:
heres one:

Lady: Can you play The Fray: How to save a life?

Me: Umm, NO!

Lady: Why not?

Me: leave now, Im done talking to you.


BTW there is a club dance vers now.... ultimix put it out.... but i doubt thaat i would play it myself in the club also
SUBSTANCE 9:36 PM - 14 March, 2007
I don't know if some of you are just acting cool, but being straight up rude to people isn't doing you any favours. Saying 'Sorry, I don't have that' is way less drama for everyone than 'fuck off you stooooopid biatch'.
Morons piss me off too, but I don't want to encourage a conversation/argument with them!
DJ-A 9:39 PM - 14 March, 2007
Quote:
I don't know if some of you are just acting cool, but being straight up rude to people isn't doing you any favours. Saying 'Sorry, I don't have that' is way less drama for everyone than 'fuck off you stooooopid biatch'.
Morons piss me off too, but I don't want to encourage a conversation/argument with them!


being rude to people can get you fired...
Request_This_Ladies 2:55 AM - 15 March, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
I don't know if some of you are just acting cool, but being straight up rude to people isn't doing you any favours. Saying 'Sorry, I don't have that' is way less drama for everyone than 'fuck off you stooooopid biatch'.
Morons piss me off too, but I don't want to encourage a conversation/argument with them!


being rude to people can get you fired...


Quick story: One night this lady kept bugging me for nothing but Micheal Jackson. It was a weeknight and the bar was slow, so I obliged and played her request. Come to find out she was a "Secret-Shopper" sent in to check my customer-relation skills.

Since I played all her songs, I recieved high marks and management has since left me alone to play what I want.
allenbina 7:06 PM - 16 March, 2007
Quote:
If the club owner is happy, you're happy. Whenever I flip the floor people come up whining "Why don't you play stuff we can dance to" to which my reply is "We're not here for the free dancing, we're here to sell drinks!!"

If the bar makes money when you work you have a better chance of getting a regular gig.


bartenders / servers... i've had them all yell at me for not flipping
DJ Lil Vito 7:09 PM - 16 March, 2007
I constantly get girls asking to dance with them on the dance floor. HELLO! If I come and dance - the music will stop and NOBODY will dance.
dj disturbed 8:57 PM - 16 March, 2007
Quote:
I constantly get girls asking to dance with them on the dance floor. HELLO! If I come and dance - the music will stop and NOBODY will dance.



thats when you tell them you cant now.. but they are welcome to come withyou after work for some "dancing" at your house
DJ-A 9:34 PM - 16 March, 2007
i dance... either in back of the dj table, or i can take 2 minutes to dance with a hott chic...
DJ Autograph 9:56 PM - 16 March, 2007
Quote:
i dance... either in back of the dj table, or i can take 2 minutes to dance with a hott chic...



BAD habit!! I do this too. Sometimes you just can't help yourself....
DJ-A 10:07 PM - 16 March, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
i dance... either in back of the dj table, or i can take 2 minutes to dance with a hott chic...



BAD habit!! I do this too. Sometimes you just can't help yourself....


its hard to not get distracted and keep your mind on the music (and what your going to play next or the 2 songs from then...
dj disturbed 10:11 PM - 16 March, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
i dance... either in back of the dj table, or i can take 2 minutes to dance with a hott chic...



BAD habit!! I do this too. Sometimes you just can't help yourself....


its hard to not get distracted and keep your mind on the music (and what your going to play next or the 2 songs from then...


i love doing it... shows the crowd that im into the music and normaly if im dancing in the dj booth im realy into the music and having a good night!!!!!
typerel 10:24 PM - 16 March, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
i dance... either in back of the dj table, or i can take 2 minutes to dance with a hott chic...



BAD habit!! I do this too. Sometimes you just can't help yourself....


its hard to not get distracted and keep your mind on the music (and what your going to play next or the 2 songs from then...


i love doing it... shows the crowd that im into the music and normaly if im dancing in the dj booth im realy into the music and having a good night!!!!!


It just sucks then that chick you've been eyeing all night actually comes up to you and asks you to dance with her. "ummm...but i'm mixing right now"
DJ K-otik 1:02 AM - 17 March, 2007
I like dancing with the go go dancers in the booth ;)
skratchnerd 1:30 AM - 17 March, 2007
yea just tell them to dance w/ you in the booth, that way you don't have to run back from the dance floor to change the song.
DJ Lil Vito 1:52 AM - 17 March, 2007
Quote:
yea just tell them to dance w/ you in the booth, that way you don't have to run back from the dance floor to change the song.


Thats usually how I roll... but sometimes I throw them a little "we can dance later" line.
john blaze 4:55 PM - 13 April, 2007
Last night I am spinning a lounge/bar. It's never busy, and I just play whatever. I just mix up.

I am playing "Award Tour", the two songs before this were "Find A Way" & "Check The Rhime" I was doin' a little tribe set.

This girl comes up to me and says "I gotta white boy with me who thinks he's black. Can you play some hip hop like the Mims song."

I didn't even feel like getting into it with here. No I didn't play Mims either. Just kept it moving, went on to some old school Rakim.



Also, some girl just messaged me on myspace requesting songs for this weekend. Wants to hear Baby Huey. I hate that effin song. Should I write her back and let her know now I am not playing that ish?
DJ Bombjack 5:04 PM - 13 April, 2007
Quote:
"I gotta white boy with me who thinks he's black."


The bane of my life.
grrillatactics 5:14 PM - 13 April, 2007
Quote:
I like dancing with the go go dancers in the booth ;)


I like dancing with my dongle-piece on some fine girl's tonsils...
Certified Quality Entertainment 5:15 PM - 13 April, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
I like dancing with the go go dancers in the booth ;)


I like dancing with my dongle-piece on some fine girl's tonsils...


Hahahhahahaah
Dj KaGeN 5:38 PM - 13 April, 2007
Hot Chic: "Can you play a song for my friend, she's from out of town?"
ME: "Really, Where from?"
Hot Chic: (she says a city that's about 2 hours away)

Needless to say - I went off saying a bit about that's not REALLY out of town, different state, I'd play it, but trying to pull a fast one over me.... Buh-bye. Just cuz you are hot, doesn't mean I'm falling for that kind of bullshit.
krown 5:44 PM - 13 April, 2007
One I get quite a few times lately. As preamble, I am a resident on saturday nights and strictly play house all night.

girl: can you play hip-hop?
me: we don't play hip-hop here.
girl: are you serious?
me: yes I am. is this your first time here?
girl: no... i was here last saturday and you played hip-hop..
me: (walks away)


A funny one that happened a long time ago happened with a promoter I was working for was really, REALLY wasted one night:

girl: can you play something with words in it? all this music sounds the same.
promoter: (slurring) have a drink, close your eyes and will all sound good to you.
girl: i don't drink
promoter: (serious) then you're a retard aren't you?

no lie
Kool DJ Sheak One 5:53 PM - 13 April, 2007
Last Week:

Drunk Old Fart- Whadya got?


Me- Nothing you like!
shiestO! 6:05 PM - 13 April, 2007
Quote:
A funny one that happened a long time ago happened with a promoter I was working for was really, REALLY wasted one night:

girl: can you play something with words in it? all this music sounds the same.
promoter: (slurring) have a drink, close your eyes and will all sound good to you.
girl: i don't drink
promoter: (serious) then you're a retard aren't you?

no lie



that's awesome.
Kool DJ Sheak One 4:48 PM - 17 April, 2007
Sooooooooooooooooo...






"Are you the DJ?"






?
Certified Quality Entertainment 4:57 PM - 17 April, 2007
^^ hahha....i think ive gotten that before too.

I think it was mentioned already, but people always seem to ask the DJ where the bathroom is. Ive gotten that a few times and im like. I have no freakin idea!
Audio1 5:28 PM - 17 April, 2007
My biggest gripe to this day is people requesting songs of the opposite bpm range than what is currently playing.

Examples:

Play some 125-120 party cuts, Crooklyn Clans and mashups. Girl walks up and says "Can you play WALK IT OUT?" (130 to 80)

Also the opposite... While WALK IT OUT plays, Dude walks up "Can you play STUNNER Shades?" (80 to 120)

WTF! LOL. Not only do people have no style, They also have no rhythm either.
DJ-A 5:39 PM - 17 April, 2007
heres a comment that made me want to knock a guy out... i played a few songs in a row that he liked. he comes over to me and says "feels good to finally be doing your job huh" i only played a few songs he liked because i can only stand so much ghetto southern rap.
Dj KaGeN 7:12 PM - 17 April, 2007
people do not understand flow and groove because the radio interjects commercials in there...

When posed with a huge differential in BPM change _ I quickly explain that the track is too slow/too fast to play. Ya, I get the bummed look, I say I'll work my way back to it. Generally this is enough and they leave, if they persist. I ask them, "Have you ever ever pulled the emergency brake while driving 70 miles an hour on the freeway." They say "no" quickly and realize my exact point moments later, especially after I say, "Well then, I'm not going to do that to my dancefloor." and place the headphones on and get back to it.
CMS 7:24 PM - 17 April, 2007
I like the emergency brake analogy.
DJ Lagos 7:57 PM - 17 April, 2007
i normally dont pay any attention to them. i say okay and keep doing my thing.
skinnyguy 8:06 PM - 17 April, 2007
ooh...that's a good one. can't wait to use that analogy.
dj_soo 9:19 PM - 17 April, 2007
my favorite dick move to do to a DJ while they're playing is to plop myself in front of them, put my cell phone to my ear and then when I get their attention, make the "turn it down" motion with my hand.

You'd be surprised at how many DJs actually reach for the volume knob before giving you the finger.

I do it to my friends all the time when they're playing :D.
Thundercat 9:25 PM - 17 April, 2007
I'm going to do that.
Dj KaGeN 9:28 PM - 17 April, 2007
cell phone trick.... yep, note to self - try that out very soon in a club setting....
Kool DJ Sheak One 9:52 PM - 17 April, 2007
The asshole move!

It's perfect.

That's some Hollywood shit right there!
DJ-A 10:09 PM - 17 April, 2007
i just turn up the bass. i had a chic do that last week... she mouthed turn it down i turned the bass down and then the treble up
coitus 7:15 PM - 19 April, 2007
Could you play some Paris Hilton?
Can you turn the music down?
Can you/I get on the mic? Im trying to find my friend.
Can I see what songs you have?
eder 12:01 AM - 20 April, 2007
The best happened last night at a frat party:

Drunk Girl: "Hey DJ play that song they played on the top 4 at 4 (power 106 if y'all don't know that). I think it was the third one they played."
Me: "I don't listen to Power."
Girl: "The fuck? What kind of DJ are you?"
*I hit the break on the song playing and grab the mic*
Me (on the mic): IF YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME TONIGHT MAKE SOME FUCKING NOOOOOOISE!!!"
*crowd goes fucking wild*
*hit the start/stop button, bringing the track back in*
Me: "That's what fucking kind of a DJ I am. Now get the fuck out of my sight."
DJ Jinnai 8:40 AM - 21 April, 2007
TO ALL:

When you all DJ, wear the shirt that says "Not Now. I'm Busy"

....I need that shirt too! :)
DJ Jinnai 8:48 AM - 21 April, 2007
Lady: Can You Play "Laffy Taffy?"

Me: Can I play with your KNOCKERS like they were LAFFY TAFFY?
Trickyricky 9:41 PM - 21 April, 2007
Back to work after coming home from ibiza

Work mate- "Hows the holiday?"
Me - "Class, Eddie Halliwell blew up cream"
WM - "But all he does is play one song after the other, whats hard about that?"
Me - "No mate, its about the journey you go on. The way the dj can make you feel. Hightening your senses by knowing when to hit you with a breakdown or slam a big beat at you."
WM - "But he is just playing songs..., i dont get it"

Why cant these people be reached? They need educating dammit!! :)
dj cubicle 10:13 PM - 21 April, 2007
Last night got the "Hey, can you play the Birthday Song for my friend? ...and can you play it soon, we're leaving in a minute."

I almost pissed myself trying to keep from laughing.
dj_soo 10:31 PM - 21 April, 2007
Quote:
Back to work after coming home from ibiza

Work mate- "Hows the holiday?"
Me - "Class, Eddie Halliwell blew up cream"
WM - "But all he does is play one song after the other, whats hard about that?"
Me - "No mate, its about the journey you go on. The way the dj can make you feel. Hightening your senses by knowing when to hit you with a breakdown or slam a big beat at you."
WM - "But he is just playing songs..., i dont get it"

Why cant these people be reached? They need educating dammit!! :)


I like to invite these people to my house, put on two records, do a nice long blend. Then put them on the decks and tell them to do the same thing.
deepdjdanny 5:19 AM - 22 April, 2007
any chick: 'can you look after my handbag?'
eder 9:03 AM - 22 April, 2007
Quote:
any chick: 'can you look after my handbag?'


lol i love this one. I tell them, "you can leave it here but i'm not responsible for it".
DJ Starrbuck 9:18 AM - 22 April, 2007
My gig (private party) alot of guys requesting Justin Timberlake WTF!

Spinning a hip hop/ r&b set, people asking for House music??? Pussy Cat Dolls, Reggaeton (not my cup of tea) got so distracted I'd switched and picking the needle by mistake, I'm glad in a sense it's only like a few people I cater to which was cool. Still learning.

I did get (yo this DJ sucks) totally ignore that dickhead he was pissed off I didn't give him the mic to rhyme. I the only person I gave the mic is the person who paid me.

Well got my first gig out the way, more many adventure await me, lol

Next party I spin at, I will be straight up "Sorry I don't do requests!" When people throw request at you it does throw your set out of wack.
DJ-A 8:58 PM - 22 April, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
any chick: 'can you look after my handbag?'


lol i love this one. I tell them, "you can leave it here but i'm not responsible for it".


only if they are super hott. that way you get to talk to them again =) it's always worth a side comment, well you do know that i charge... right?
DJ-A 9:04 PM - 22 April, 2007
Quote:
My gig (private party) alot of guys requesting Justin Timberlake WTF!

Spinning a hip hop/ r&b set, people asking for House music??? Pussy Cat Dolls, Reggaeton (not my cup of tea) got so distracted I'd switched and picking the needle by mistake, I'm glad in a sense it's only like a few people I cater to which was cool. Still learning.

I did get (yo this DJ sucks) totally ignore that dickhead he was pissed off I didn't give him the mic to rhyme. I the only person I gave the mic is the person who paid me.

Well got my first gig out the way, more many adventure await me, lol

Next party I spin at, I will be straight up "Sorry I don't do requests!" When people throw request at you it does throw your set out of wack.


i'm not a mind reader, i like requests. I tell people, if you want a song you better request it because you can only blame yourself if you dont let me know.
i've done this for 16 years and with the range of events that i do, i cant count on my selection for a flawless set every time. an idea of what type of crowd i am performing for is priceless.
DJ Starrbuck 10:15 PM - 22 April, 2007
Thanks for the advice, ;)
KingDecipha 4:09 PM - 23 April, 2007
Quote:
TO ALL:

When you all DJ, wear the shirt that says "Not Now. I'm Busy"

)


I like that idea!
krown 6:41 PM - 23 April, 2007
there was a shirt floating around a few years back that said on the back "F**k off, I'm mixing"
CMOS 6:56 PM - 23 April, 2007
I think sixxx made those no? ^^^
krown 7:33 PM - 23 April, 2007
grrillatactics 7:34 PM - 23 April, 2007
I think DMC also did the DJ's Don't Share Needles shirts, too. My other favorite DJ related TShirt slogan.
DJ Michael Basic 8:36 PM - 23 April, 2007
I have a shirt with a pair of headphones on it that says, "I only do requests in the bedroom." Got it at WMC in miami.
Nameless. 11:59 PM - 23 April, 2007
REQUESTS:

Can I put my purse/coat in the booth?

Yoo mannnn you got anything we can walk to? You know snap music!!

Random guy makes eye contact and mouthes BAAALLLLLLLIINN' while pretending to shoot a basketball.

I'm about to leave, can you play (insert song title here) for me before I go??

Can you play Glamorous? (it's (9:15 and I'm just setting up)

You got any Hyphy?? Me and and my boys want to go stupid.

You should play (insert obvious song here) they'd go CRAZY!!

COMMENTS:

Girl: Can you play Music Sounds Better
Me: I was actually just about to play it

Girl returns 10 minutes after I just watched her dance to the song in front of the booth.

Girl: Are you going to play Music Sounds Better soon?
Me: I just played it for you 10 minutes ago.
Girl: No you didn't
Me: I litterally just played it for you.
Girl: I didn't hear it, I must have been in the bathroom.
Me: *stab in the neck

40YearOldWomen: You should play more 80's rock.

Me: I have some coming up soon, but it wouldn't flow right now. . . it's too fast.

40YearOldWomen: You know I used to DJ on the radio when I was 16.

40YearOldWomen: You ever heard of (random ass obscure radio station in LA)??

Me: Never heard of it.

40YearOldWomen: Well, I used to DJ and I know what you do. . . and it's not that hard, so make the 80's rock work.

Me: Conragulations on being a radio DJ 30 years ago, I'll get right to your request.
DJ-A 1:18 AM - 24 April, 2007
Quote:
REQUESTS:

Can I put my purse/coat in the booth?

Yoo mannnn you got anything we can walk to? You know snap music!!

Random guy makes eye contact and mouthes BAAALLLLLLLIINN' while pretending to shoot a basketball.

I'm about to leave, can you play (insert song title here) for me before I go??

Can you play Glamorous? (it's (9:15 and I'm just setting up)

You got any Hyphy?? Me and and my boys want to go stupid.

You should play (insert obvious song here) they'd go CRAZY!!

COMMENTS:

Girl: Can you play Music Sounds Better
Me: I was actually just about to play it

Girl returns 10 minutes after I just watched her dance to the song in front of the booth.

Girl: Are you going to play Music Sounds Better soon?
Me: I just played it for you 10 minutes ago.
Girl: No you didn't
Me: I litterally just played it for you.
Girl: I didn't hear it, I must have been in the bathroom.
Me: *stab in the neck

40YearOldWomen: You should play more 80's rock.

Me: I have some coming up soon, but it wouldn't flow right now. . . it's too fast.

40YearOldWomen: You know I used to DJ on the radio when I was 16.

40YearOldWomen: You ever heard of (random ass obscure radio station in LA)??

Me: Never heard of it.

40YearOldWomen: Well, I used to DJ and I know what you do. . . and it's not that hard, so make the 80's rock work.

Me: Conragulations on being a radio DJ 30 years ago, I'll get right to your request.


come on man! you played it right? i mean even a 16 year old could have fit it in....

i would have gone sarcastic on her ass...

damn you were a DJ thats awesome! what was it like to dj with 8-tracks? or me and my buddy were talking about the old school not too long ago, was it hard to get use to records when they FIRST CAME OUT?

tell ya what, stop the music. i'll do it right now. announce "this lady in front of me requested this next song... give her a hand, its a great one... you should all love it"

and then i would play a shitty 80's rock song for 30 seconds before i shut it off.

i hate people like that
Loopman 2:29 AM - 24 April, 2007
I have the Fuck off I'm mixing t-shirt, it really don't work at all. People just think its sooo funny they wanna talk to me about. I got it for my birthday so I did wear it a couple of times.

but come on people, the I used to be a dj comment, can you play something blah blah blah.. that really can't be the most ridiculous things you experience because that happens just about every day all over the world.. give us something really juicy :)

I already posted my most ridiculous comment/request earlier, I can tell you the worst thing I did while dj'ing :D

once this girl wanted be to take her purse, I said no, no and no.. when she asked me the 4th time I told her next time I was gonna get really upset if she asked again, so she just threw the purse into the booth. I managed to catch it before it hit the turntable and I just threw it back into a crowd of 600 people.. all while the club manager was watching. needless to say it wasn't too popular with managment so I told everyone to fuck off, to make a long story short she came to the club 3 days after wanting to tell how sorry she was for her behaviour. and guess what? 4 years later and I still got a resident spot there ;)
Psyko Logical 3:46 AM - 24 April, 2007
Quote:
I constantly get girls asking to dance with them on the dance floor. HELLO! If I come and dance - the music will stop and NOBODY will dance.


What to do in this situation...

"I can't, but come help me DJ"

Invite them into the booth.
Turn the Vol fader all the way down on the deck you're not using.
Put their hand on the dead record, and pretend to help them 'drop a beat' after a breakdown on the other side.
Since you faked the whole thing it will sound great, and now she feels super special.
DJ-A 3:50 AM - 2