You have more money invested in Audio gear than furniture.

Your friends have a night out in order to see you

You don't go to parties unless your hired to DJ

You forget that clubs have dress codes and door charges.

your friends all know not to ask if you have plans on thursday friday and saturday nights.

whenever someone wants to know what a song is, they ask you.

...And you've still spent more on music than audio gear.

you refuse to roll to a club, unless you get in VIP

you refuse to go to a club unless youre playing. LOL! (I dont go out unless im spinning)

you buy vinyl/CD's you know you already have but just can't find it and don't feel like looking for it in the crates.

you change the channel on the TV like you switch songs on the decks.

you can't listen to more than a minute and a half of any song.

Everyone you meet thinks you have the time to to make cds for them.

You pay your barber in cd mixes instead of cash.

You use music like tools: use 'em at gigs, but could care less about hearing them on your own time.

All of the above. My favorite is:
My wife's been buggin me for a new sofa set, since we dont have an existing sofa set. AInt that a bitch. I have a new-ish 36-inch LCD TV but no furniture to sit on to watch it. LOL

but yeah, I needed that new Rane mixer! LOL

I have almost no furniture in my house. That's why I spend most of my time at my girlfriends house.

HAHA

Or if your audio gear IS your furniture (speakers and amp racks are end tables here)

You pay your milk man in music instead of cash. (No LIE!) lol

Oberweis got some good milk botches!

people don't call you before 4pm, because they expect you to be sleeping . . .

You use Milk crates as seats for your guests. Hahaha

When you listen to music in your car, you think about what song will mix well with that

when youre listening to a good song on the radio in your car, you cut the bass and boost the highs so that everyone in the car will sing along. LMAO.

you literally get mad at people for having bad taste in music..

waking up at noon is the equivalent of waking up at 5am

You may be a professional if:

When a song comes on the radio, You explain to your significant other the history of the song and/or artists or my personal favorite, explain the source sample used by the producer to create the hit. LOL

Haha... I know the feeling. We need sofas so badly.

The only time you feel like practicing on your turntables is after 11:30p.

word, sometimes spinnin while the sun is out just doesn't feel right

More like only time you feel like practicing is while drunk at your local residency or club spot. LOL

lol

Truth.

You spend most of your work time on the internet searching for new music instead of actually working.

You keep hitting refresh to see if any new posts on this forum exist.

so sad BUT TRUE!

so sad BUT TRUE!

also: You spend most of your adult life reorganizng both your Serato file structure and your entire master music databases at home.

hell, I bring my master EXT to work, to get shit organized everyday. LOL

...if your closet is filled with shoes to match every conceivable outfit you can think of.

...if you pack your suitcase around the shoes your wearing to each gig.

I think goes in the "You may be a professional metrosexual if" thread. hahaha

^^ DEPENDS. I KNOW DUDES who match the color of their headphone gear with their shoes and outfits... At least, Thanks to WESC and Skull Candy for that.

Tell me about it. All day Sunday, my girl and I went shopping for music videos. At least my girl knows what's up with me. She's really into music and I think she wants to learn how to DJ cuz she's always asking me questions.

you might be slightly retarded if:

you try to mentally "beat match" the turn indicators of cars ahead of you with yours when you sit at the lights.

your more interested in the producer instead of the artist of the song.

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA....That is me all day.


And I have to constantly explain to new chicks..."If I ain't getting paid I am not going to no club. Unless I know the promoter and we are VIP." It's so nerve racking but most of them catch on fast and stop asking after 2 times...haha

hahahaha I DO THAT, its a sickness

Everwhere you go you think it would be a dope spot for a club.

Most of the people on your cell's phonebook start with the word DJ.

lmao.. I've seriously done that. Yes, I am a loser.

Those blinkers NEVER match. Even on the same car make/model. I've been doing this for years. lol

lol its happend to me a couple of times... but doesnt last long.
if only the indicators had pitch bend. =P

you mentally "beat match" the windshield wipers to the song you're listening to on the radio.

You mentally beat match the blinker light to the song on the radio.

You subconciously hear another song when you first hear a new cut and quickly go home to see if its a good mix, only to forget the song you were thinking of when you heard the new song.

When your at the club and you the DJ got all of his mashups at Crooklyn Clan!

^^ Know

...speaking of mentally beat matching...anybody ever walk around at a car show and hear one car bumping a song and another car playing a different song....and you get frustrated because they're not beatmatched AND you can't do anything to speed up or slow down the songs to sync them?

So true...LOL

E A Sports....It's In The Game!!!....Many a hung over morning packing up gear and in the background of the club is that E A Sports thing spitting out of some video game..going on over and over and over....Incentive to pack up faster!

I don't think I've ever seen a video game in a night club.

Another beat matching thing I do is when I am driving on the highway and I try to beat match the song playing on the radio with the lines in the road. So every beat I pass another line in the road. I can't be the only one that's done that.

This is the funniest thread I have ever read on this forum!! Everything said here is so TRUE, everything!! hahahahahahahahah

hhhmmmmm... Maybe that's the reason I keep getting all those speeding tickets. I gotta stop listening to house music when I drive :-P

The backseat of your car is never open for passengers. Its always folded down to accomodate the gear that you tote around.

You have note pads and your phone ready to record just on the off chance you hear tune on the radio that's slipped by your digging ears.

You go to different places (theaters, courtyards, etc.....and sometimes even churches) and imagine what changes you would do to make it a dope night club...

And the first thing you say to yourself is, "The DJ booth would go right there, and the sound system will kick a$$..."

when looking at a new place to live, you're thinking where you're going to setup your decks, and store the rest of your gear.

along the lines of Woody.....


you see a building for sale as your driving and have dreams of pimping the place out to be a fuckin super club.

you can't spell "professional"

I use the memo pad on my phone for when I come up with mixes when I'm away from the decks.
I even thought about the possibilty of adding another iPod to my iPhone so when I get these ideas I could at least hear the songs over each other, even tho there would be no way to match them

...when you are listening to mixes and knowing what song is gonna be mixed next, and then start doing your own sound effects (i.e beat boxxing) that you think will sound good.

Or a barfly, groupie, etc.

Or just ADD issues.

Talking about beatmatching.....


You're beatmatching YOUR CAR'S BLINKER light/sound to the car in front of you while in the turn lane waiting for the red light to turn green.

You take your Serato bag to your real job instead if a briefcase and spend more time working on your crates and libraries vs. what you really get paid to do. I LOVE my good government job ;-)

You hear a new song and you either already know the name of the songs and artist they sampled from and obsess about it all the way home to put together a combo to school the microwaves. examples: MIA "paper planes"... T.I. "Swagger like us"
Spandu Ballet (80's)... PM dawn (90's)... Lloyd (2006)

Its an everyday thing!

Yes. Very true... As DJ's, Were cheapskates when it comes to our nights off. LOL

Looks at Cellphone. DJ Greg J, DJ EROCK, DJ Bandoma, DJ DANLO, DJ J Espinosa, DJ CQ, DJ Static, DJ Novakane, DJ MSF, DJ Steve1der, DJ Victor Menegaux.... LOL

I work in tech support and Yo, Im looking at my iBook G4. SSL is rescanning ID3 tags and I have a batch of new/classic heater stuff scanning on MIK. We just found a massive amount of classic stuff on the Cicana archives that Im sifting thru on my master EXT. LOL IT NEVER EVER ENDS!

SSL is a lifestyle.

I do that always with my wife...

ive done this MANY of times

Hahaha That's me right now. I brough my bag with my external and lappy so I can organize my music for tomorrow!!! lol

you notice if a pedestrian is walking in beat of the track playing in your car.

i hate when i notice that im walking in beat, i feel like im modeling or dancing lol..i try walking slower

damn this shit's so tru...loll

LMAO!

I can not turn my car off and radio off beat . Its got to be on the 1 or somewhere clean sounding not just anywhere . Hahahaha. So if I turn my car off I wait till on point

...you ride in the car with the radio completely off most of the time.

and play tunes on your head,even mix them
lol guilty

Call me a nerd but I do that sometimes... Most of the time, I have the dial locked to 740AM which is a CBS news station, to keep up on the local and world news. If im feeling it, Ill tune into Wild or KMEL if needed. KMEL's only savior these days is that Scotty Fox is such an amazing DJ who can mix anything!

Cuz the local uncreative mixshow talent on the local stations suck, the personalities are inarticulate and you can only learn what not to do so many times from listening to the bums.

when cooking, you choose the oven over the "microwave" 9 times out of 10 because after hearing it so many times in this forum you want nothing to do with the word

Wooooow....you should live in your computer

You're the only one that notices when the other DJ's fuck up.

lmao. what up TRON..

You don't know the 2nd or 3rd verse of a song and you're surprised when you hear it.

LOL!! On top of that...you think its a remix when you DO hear it. haha

This is just as funny as was on friday, keep em coming

lol... priceless

You make more money mixing in one night in comparison to a week's pay at your 9-5, but you benefit plan is what's keeps you there.

Word up. But its more like, DJing in one week.

The absolute truth!!!

very true

LOL! I wouldn't say a "week's" pay, but definitely 2-3 days worth of working 8 hours a day can equal what we make in 3-5 hrs DJing. But yeah, benefits and stability will always make me keep a regular job...along with the fact that there's no one to DJ for between 9-5 every day, since they're all working too! So why not do it all?

LOL there are some DJ's who do make that much, but with me, I don't even think I'd want to stop working if I was making $120,000+ annually from DJing.

Yeah, it is all about the future as you say..that's one of the main things. Aside from that, imagine you make $60,000 a year at your current job and position. If you stop working for 10-15 years and ONLY DJ, imagine if DJing slows down, or stayed at the same pace....if you had kept that job, you would have progressed to much higher positions and would be at $90,000-$120,000$...so if you did want to start working again, you'd be back to where you started at, position/title wise and salary wise.

randomly singing a song..then you somehow end up mixing another song into it..while making "scratching" noises...hell, if it's not outloud, im thinking of it in my head... LOL

whoops...just realized this thread was like 2 yrs old..mah bad haha

doesn't matter how old the thread is. If you got something to add feel free

...You visit this site more than your Facebook

when u do laundry at midnight...

when ur more active at 9pm then all day long...

when u go and find the most light blocking curtains u can buy.

when u gain weight from eating at 3am(breakfast with the bartenders)

when ur thrusday, friday and saturday is actually sunday, monday and tuesday.

when u cant remember peoples names...

when all ur friends are djs.bartenders.bouncers.. and people that are super big patrons in ur club

you schedule all dates with your girlfriend amonth in advance

when people call u by ur dj name. people actually think my last name is GQ hahaha

What is this "light" you speak of?

when the only time u flirt and dance with girls is in the dj booth

sun light

whenrefuse to go to abar/

when u refuse to go to a bar/club where there is no dj.

and then break that date cuz u booked a gig at anew place

u buy a vehicle based on whether it can fit ur dj gear

When you do laundy at 4 am because you're DJing at midnight

ha been there

when you get really mad that everything isnt open 24 hours

when your friends stop showing you their itunes because you cant stop dissing their playlists

when you're the only one in the new hipster record shop that can open the plastic on a new record with your jeans

hahah wow! memories!

youre out at a club and you know every single word to every song

youre out at a club and you know half the bouncers and bartenders there

youre out at a

youre out at a club and you stop dancing and listen intently each time the song changes

when ur out the first thing u do is give the dj playing a high five... and then go grab a drink

have spin spinnning for 25+ yrs, no day has gone by without listening to the latest tracks, buying music daily, contant thinking more about djing then sex, obsessed with music in all forms, dream about djing, takin shit and think about djing and scratching with hands to your own beat..no this all true in my life ..and till i die..i dont give a fck what anyone thinks..im a dj ..Period!

+1
(no homo) i think the only time i don't think about sex is when im DJ'ing haha

+1



+2

When you can't listen to the radio because they play the same 6 songs every hour

you don't play songs by miley cyrus

When you always have the scratch live forum open (logged in) during work hours. lol

When you diss hot chicks because you think they're flirting with you so that you'll play Britney Spears

dont you wish this was true for radio djs too!!

When you go to a Wedding and are pissed the minute you walk in the door because you see a band playing.

actually i think thats the only time i enjoy seeing bands... is at weddings, u just dont see that much.

+1 hahaha

you know how to spell "professional"

When you AIR SCRATCH. And when you walk around practicing your crab scratch (fader hand only).

when you have nightmares of you DJ'ing for example ive had a lot where i train-wreck but can't do anything about it.makes me mad...i always have them after i come back from my gig..sad :(

haha! thats me^^,

instead of enjoying ur night out at the bar/club, you are instead a critic to the playing dj telling your friends when he fucks up and listening to the mix like if it was classical music....

i do that all the time lol

Werd, same here.or I picture myself as their dj.

You wish the turning blinker in your car had a pitch slider (to match the song on the radio).

I guess...if its a good band. EVERY wedding I've been invited to that had a band has been sub par. Not fun! :(

Your not using an IPOD for Djing.

or auto sync

when u know the club inside and out but when u r not working u don't know what to do with yourself while u r there.


when bein at home on a saturday night feels strange

LOL, i thought it was only me that did that!!

When you're planning a long drive with the fam, and make CD's especially for the trip.

nope it kills me i cant control blinker hahahaha

when u would rather dj then fuck ur girl.. sometimes.

hahahaha

;-)

every time i do turn it on i try to calculated when to pull it down or up in order to match it, if it un-matches i reset it

Yeah, I would pay for some one to mod my car to make this possible. I Have wanted to do this ever since I started driving.

+1

You've told a club manager to go fuck himself, packed up your shit, and left in the middle of a gig at least once in your career.

Also thought it was only me as well.

You try to beatmatch your car´s turn signal with the radio.

late to the party?

I guess so... didn´t feel like reading EVERY post.

DAMN, it was right above...

lol

Yeah, I would pay for some one to mod my car to make this possible. I Have wanted to do this ever since I started driving.

don't forget ipad...unless it's used as a midi controller =P

youre listening to your ipod and wish you could beatmatch between the songs

I think that means you're just a douchebag and not professional.

depends on the situation

+10000

some ho threw a drink at the booth cause I wouldn't play the cupid shuffle... they decided to let her stay in the building so I left

when u write down notes on ur phone bout songs u just realized in ur head would fuse perfectly.

when your phone is full of dj names/promoters/artist/musicians...

when you get text by people you don't even know and they want you to dj there event

guilty

..if your thoughts of a scratch noise is not "wiki wiki" but more like "wik wik wok wik wik wik wok wak wok wak aka iki" lol

...if you have indirectly influenced at least 5 of your dj mates to move over from other DVS's to Serato ScratchLive.

I can match my wipers to the bpm... i have fully ajdustable intermittent wipers... i just love it when it rains!!

^ Make, model please...

***reaches for checkbook***

mazda mx-6 with the V6

i found a picture online:

carphotos.cardomain.com

This feature will def be on my next car...lol
...now for the indicator pitch slider...
(i could then BPM match the wipers, indicator AND radio)

+1000

when ur driving and have to turn radio off on beat . something that sounds dope not in the middle .

when listen to a "regualr " cd ( mix) and think the pause inbetween tracks is freakin forever long

guilty

if u have encouraged 5 djs to stop djing... period.

+1

Three deck mixing on the road.

3+ deck car mixing:

Watchwww.youtube.com

you hear a song on the radio and you automatically think what the next song should be

you have a metronome in your head and can bpm music without the help of software or counting.

you remember the year and month each club banger came out

you remember what the cover of each record looks like in your crates

Easy, 90% is black.

^^^and i think that means your new to the game and have a lot to learn.

3 LINE MIXING WTF! you better install autosync so u can get more creative with that ish!

you curse out the landscaping people for waking you up at least once every week

as well as the church bell, the machine that sweeps the street, people that through bottles in containers, dogs that bark, neighbours who argue AND EVERYTHING THAT TAKES YOUR SLEEPING TIME AWAY

Oh man... This happens to me all the time, i had a dream just last night that i was playing reggae and i was searching for "sweat" by inner circle but it wouldn't come up when i looked for it and the track i was playing (which i don't remember) ran out and it was complete silence and then i froze up. AHHH! then i woke up. lol weird huh?

When you walk around the grocery store snapping all your fingers with your right hand and slicing air vinyl in your left. Im sure it looks like im deee da deee without my helmet.
When you play around with ms paint making your own colored cvg's
When you spend hours on a recordpool looking over everything for a 10th time making sure you didnt miss something you gotta have.
When you walk into a club and critique another dj's mixing and find his flaws.
When the promoter puts you on the flyer's before you even know.
When you start effing with your equiptment on monday at 4pm then look at the clock and its 3am.
When other dj's want your harddrives...

when you can guess the BPM range without SL

...if you can't mix, scratch or rock the crowd.

amen.

guilty

when you hear a rap song at the mall and you immediately start scratching...... in your mind...

when your girlfriend tells you to get off your decks and start listening to her.

when people only know you as your DJ name.

when you've memorised the BPM's of tons of tracks and when you hear a song, you can think of 5+ tracks within the same BPM range that would work perfectly...and pull out notepads to write the possible mixes.

when u get excited when the windshield washers match the beat of the song playing and u get angry when it goes off beat

when you try and sync your blinkers to the blinkers on the car in front of you.
when your girl friend asks twice a day "did you hear anything i just said or are you looking for songs on that fucking record pool again"

Man, we ALL have pitch control on our wipers...

Where u been?

when your wife puts a gear catalog in front of you and tells you to circle what you want for Xmas, bday, father's day, anniversary, valentines...

and your first question is "how much do you want to spend"

when you get in a fight about two lights you just bought for $600 but can't afford ______ for the house.

when you know you need $$ for food and other groceries for the next 2 weeks but you blow it all on new equipment anyways...

whne collecting colored vinyl is liek collecting baseball cars. dub cowboy

Hmmm...what exactly is a "baseball car"

baseball card. sorry i have a wireless keyboard that sucks

Yeah...just messing with you.

When You've spent the last week checking ebay every hour to see if any more techs have been put up for a good price.

This video seriously annoys you:
Watchwww.youtube.com

You refuse to take requests!!

why does that video annoy u ?

the only thing that annoys me is the kid riding his dick..

Yeh, nothing to do with Craze, just the kid in the background.

if...you have ever bump into a client/promoter at grocery stores or innocent type places like that...hahah

it annoys me that i can't cut it up as nice a craze! haha

...You've stopped sniffing shower curtains and rubber balls from the candy machines, and get high on the smell of vinyl records now instead.

every time u look at ur screen, u think of ways to making serato more versatile

Cool Kids. Sick track

For a second there I thought he was rockin red red vinyl.....then the lights changed.

does a beach club manager count?

ya he is a beast

Actually that's not a bad thing. Makes you seem like you are a great DJ.

You need auto sync for that, and then you are not a professional, lol!!!

Oops, maybe I should read the whole thread before I post.

...when you look at the DJ Craze video and think "why didn't they hide the wires"

When your girlfriend leaves you because she says you love dj'ing more than her

^ my life story hahaha....

When you're getting a bj in your car of a club you just played at by some 18 yr old...LOL that's rockstar status ;)

When you play "name that tune with your family in car and end up always being the winner" they really hate me for that..:(

When you walk around the club and constantly get starred at by young girls and you can just see them whispering "that's the dj"

or when you've had a bad night at your gig you just wanna be left alone and smoke a cig and not have stupid girls or drunks bother you cause u were dissapointed with your performance. that's def me on a bad night

When you go to an afterparty and pack up your decks from the night just to spin records till morning while drinking beer with your dj friends/reg friends.

When your friends girlfriends start paying more attention to you. calling you, txt'ing you, wanting your D. :p

You know you can beat pauly d in a battle.. sorry

When you constantly get in fights with your girl cause she thinks you talk to much about dj'ing and never listen to her.

You never have to pay to get in clubs you've played at or never played at.

Your license plate is your dj name <-- lol guilty

You DJ so bad, you need somebody else to make you look good....

...you can mix 3 decks creatively WITHOUT autosync :p