99% of club girls are nasty sluts.

cum recepticles, thats all they ever will be.

well thanks for feeding into future grooms fears about what happens when there soon-to-be bride goes out for a bachelette party. :)

Anytime there buddy

someone's been cheated on more then 1 time....

all bitches rattle

i saw a fat chick go back stage with the DJ who was spinning at the time so he could fuck her... while his fiancée was dancing on the stage next to the dj setup. Then the girl came out from backstage and start dancing nest the the guys fiancée... knowing that she was his fiancée (this was at a regular dance club)

I could have alot more stories with this topic.... (remember I do work at a strip club 4 days a week).. but i will keep those to myself

this is no joke.

girl used a beer bottle and made the tip dissapear.

Hey Jordan, is it me or you have some serious issues with the ladies right now. Every thread you started is dealing with some sort of female problem. Wanna talk about what's really going on? haha

I was going to say the same thing Matt.

Just thinkin the same thing.

ha ha ha ha...I've got way to many stories to tell..

Poor Jordan..DUDE....You need to get laid!
But don't ever get married!

funny I didnt think it, I guess im just being a guy I mean 90% of the time when your with your boys your talking about some short of female related subject..... (yes matt212 your mom does count as a female subject as well LOL)

One girl came upto the dj booth.. grabbed the 3 D cell MAg light i had up there... and lifted her skirt..... all that was sticking out was the "head" of the mag light when she was done.

lose her purse. cry. get drunk, make out with a random guy who was fingering her. get kicked out. forgot she lost her purse. come inside, start puking in a trashcan. get kicked out again.

this thread is pretty shite.. all that shits apart from the insertions ar ethigns guys do and no one gives a f*ck, if anythign they get patted on the back.

AHHHHH, no you didn't take it to the momma jokes. LOL

I see where you got your skills from, you crab just like yo momma scratch her strecthmarks. haha

bahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Two weeks ago after the club close this girl who was pushin 250 was passed out face down in the bathroom with her pants and underwear around her ankles. Puke all over her legs, stomach, etc. The club is on the 2nd floor, so security didn't know how to get her out. So, they put her in a chair, then they put the chair on the ice cart, wheeled her across the club into the elevator, then outside to her boyfriends car. The whole time they had plastic gloves on lol.

hahahaha. oh man! more stories!!!

I do security work and I caught a Lady(jk) giving some guy head in the middle of the lounge dance floor.

look if I wanted crabs once again ill just go see your mom :P btw with the 212 do you live in manhattan?

We must have the same mother then. Does mom still bite her toenails with her teeth and spit them shits across them room like darts? :P

Nah, I don't live in NY. I had to make up something when I was trying to get a hotmail account and everything I tried was already taken. So hence just pressing some numbers to get something. After that, it just stuck with every forum I joined.

Jordan, what part of the city are you from? I'm out in Brooklyn.

the most fucked up thing that i've ever seen is a girl CLOSE MY LAPTOP IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SET because i didnt play her requested song "quick enough".

i've seen a girl having sex with a dude right in front of the booth.. It was so funny but quite nasty....I have a greater appreciation for Porn cause that didn't look anything like sex....lol

Not to mention the smell...OMG....ewww. Some girls need to shower fo' real.

I've seen my share of girls doing nasty freaky wild things at raves back in the day. [rick james voice] Ecstasy's one hell of a drug [/rick james voice].

Ive seen a girl, drop to her knees and lick up some coke, the snorting kind, from the dance floor, shit was nasty.

While making a request...a girl sneezed....and snot came out of her nose, hit my control record, and then hit the needle...

Lucky it was the instrumental track....I just cut in the vocal on the other side...

She was actually cute....until I had to clean her snot off my needle and record....

I wasn't that messed up....but kinda gross

bump

this thread is be coming so unsexy fast. Keeep it coming :)

bumpity bump - this is getting good!

I DJed this college party at Hofstra University. It has been going on for years and the actually stopped serving alcohol at it beause people would get too crazy...so now everyone just pre-games before hand. While im spinning I see this chick jerkin this guy off on the middle of the dance floor. And I hear stories that there are people having sex all over the place...under the stairs, behind curtains, uner the stage (party took place on the stage in a theatre hall.

Great party though!

Ewww floor polish

HOE SHIT! She woulda caught "5 across the eye" with that one.

Haha classic, they treated her like radioactive waste, haha.

ive done that to my own shit before. i didnt catch it once and about 2 days later found the snot stain on the side of my platter

Dam! I hope you had the auto shut off disabled when closed! I would have reached back like a pimp...

Nah, j/k! Like Chris Rock once said "I'd never, never, ever hit a girl....but I'd choke the shit outta one!"

You lick your fingers to make them stick?

hahaha
ALL i can think of is Hannibal Lecter

www.erie.gov

funny stories over here :)


kinda reminds me of readin my dad's ol Hustler & Penthouse 'zines.

key word "readin"

The wildest shit i had happen to me was a halloween party that i did about 10 miles from the US canada border in WA. My boy ended up fucking the hosts daughter on the side of the house while i was doing the show. They had a stripper pole and all that shit, fake smoke machines. It was wild!

I think this fits the bill.
www.weirdspot.com

homie looks like he's ballin with them ort digitracks

haha, yeah when I was sent that picture, the cartridges were the first thing I noticed too.

oh man! I got lots of stories... Here's one from last week... When I was dj'ing this hot girl comes up to me and tells me that if I play a certain Don Omar song, she would fuck me! But I didn't have it. Hahahaha I think that request was just an excuse cause the rest of the night she was chillin with me. That has never happened to me before! hahaha

damn! think of all the lucky jukeboxes that would have had a smile on their face after she walked in the place.

Some random bar we stopped at, Saw this fat chick getting crazy the whole night. Then all of a sudden my table realizes that she's being all quiet, So when i look over at her I see that she had peed her pantsf!!! AMAZINGLY that same night in that same place, i went to the bathroom and someone had diarreah shit all over the floor in front of the urinall!!! totally wack night, would go back for entertainment like that!!!!!

Thanks Richierollz... I was having dinner and you just painted this really nasty pix on my mind! I just lost my appetite! :(

This girl shows up in a skirt with no panties on, so naturally, we all get a free show in the DJ booth... She then goes to the pool table, and grabs the cue ball.

She brings it back to the DJ booth with her, spreads her legs and sticks that cue ball completely up inside her... I mean the thing is gone! You can't even tell...no bulge or nothin. We are all stunned and almost laughing in disbelief.

Then she gets up and runs around giggling and does cartwheels for a minute... She comes back and spreads her legs again, and the cue ball pops out like an egg, and she catches it with her hand.

Then she starts licking and sucking on the cue ball!! When she's done, she tosses it over to my buddy and with no reservations, he catches it!!

Then he realizes what he just caught, and the "Oh S***!!!!" look on his face is priceless.

I promptly tell him to go wash his hands....lol

dat's a gappy trap...eh?

OH NO I GOT A TOPPER!!!!

At a club hanging out where i dj'ed... And I seen a huge line to the guys bathroom... There is NEVER a HUGE line! So me and one of the bouncers look at eachother and said what the fuck?

We walk into the bathroom to check it out and there is a chick in the bigger stall who is a BRIDE TO BE and sucking every guy off that comes into that stall!!!

Yea....

my bar manager dancing..he dances like a gay! fukin ell!! i wanted to laugh but i jus didnt...lol!!he was tryin to grind the other girl who was dancing with him!

well its not funny when i tell you the story...you guys shud have seen it...it was horrible!

Gee I wonder if that was the same chick I saw tounge kissing that night. instead of say "I do" she should be say "I blew"(((ok bad joke)

Damn, I can;t wait till I have some stories of my own

Really? The first thing I noticed was the hummer.

Yeah, my mind wasn't in the gutter when I first saw the picture.

Nothing too crazy from what Ive seen but my wife told me about some chick over at one of the nights we did at Whisper pretty much throwing up and diarrhea at the same time as she ran into the bathroom. SPLASH WATERFALLS!

Too many to count, but here's a few just off the top of my head:

Story #1: Chick drops her bag of snow on the floor in the booth. Chick proceeds to grab a straw out of a cocktail, gets down on all fours, starts snorting up everything she can out of the carpet.

Stary #2: Chick blowing a guy on the dancefloor. No biggie, seen this many times before (especially in this particular club). Well, ten minutes later she's doing this to another dude. Ok, this is different...but wait ten more minutes she's got three fellas going at once.

Story #3: Club had an ice sculpture for some event. Night goes on and a chunk of the ice sculpture breaks off. Chick (who was obviously roll'd out of her mind) takes chunk back to booth with her and inserts it while squeeling away.

Too bad the original poster didn't ask about what has been witnessed during the old warehouse/rave days. They made clubs look like monasteries.

same here

Too many to name honestlu\y, ive tried to block alot of thing out of my memory. Masterdome, Sanbernardino california 1999. Me chillen enjoy the musice looked over at the people next to me while a girlblowed a guy who was getting fucked by a guy. Nastiest thing ive ever seen in a club/rave inviroment. Thats when i decided drugs were no good lol.

Ahhh, the good ole Rotisserie. That's always a fan favorite.

Thats messed up...

shoot - even I have gotten a little helmet polish in that place during those times.

1. Chick dancing on the bar(with about 7 other girls)...chick has on a skirt....chick drops it like its hot...chick has a friendly string dangling between her legs.

lol

Did you pull it? I think you get a prize if you pull it. Try it next time. :)

lol

but i think a customer said it was a 'lite' day.

haha :) reminds me of those new style pinyatas...you know the politically correct-non-bat-bashing-friendly-gotta-guess-which-string-to-pull to get the candies :)

Damn, which quote button did you push? lol

There was pics up on the ItsBeenConfirmed board (RIP) of this chick @ the Echo here in LA... Supposedly she was mad drunk, and u could see she had doo-doo smeared on her leg (lil below the skirt). Craziest thing was she was all walking around like, 'nah its coo, i don't got no doo-doo on my leg'.

LOL

^^ Ewww!

I am not sure I would use the word messed up. Scandalous maybe but not messed up. Basically watched a girl that was bent over my record crates look me in the face as she was getting done from behind. Ah the memories.

I wonder what Dr Sci, Booya, BigLee, and all those other guys are up to these days?

i have a million masterdome memories that i want to black out for real. Trust me, i was one of the few that wasnt sad when the roof collapse during headstrong. Im like its abut time this place fell apart and got the hell out of here. IM ashamed to say i partied there alot lol. Ive seen some of the worst things in my life there. Craziness!

ya it was a cool board (never registered) they had some funny ass ish on there.

also this was on the street outside the club (also @ raves), but i seen chicks crouch down, hike up their skirts and piss like niagra falls (guess it was too far to get to the restroom?). anyway consider yourself lucky guys, with female equipment it can get messy yo...

We had one woman, who I'm SURE was pregnant, totally drunk. She was heckling the other DJ's telling them their music sucked, but she was dancing harder than anyone else on the floor and she was obviously having TOO MUCH of a good time. She was given a couple of warnings by the bouncers, but her friends eventually dragged her out soon after.

it was new years going into 2004 in Vancouver BC. I think it was past 12 by now and everyone was well crunk. There were these cubes about 2 feet in size all around and drunk girls dancing on them. I make eyes with this one girl and she pulls me up and we start dancing on the block. After a bit she gives me the "you should buy me a drink" line and i respond the how i always do to spoiled yatches pulling that shit with "no you should buy me a drink". Anyways she was pissed so I jump down, give her a mean ass look and turn to walk away.
Before I know it, the chick kicks me in the back of the head! I turn around and give her a look like "what the fuck?!" Next thing I know she kicks me in the fuckin face!! By now there is a commotion going on, she jumps down and her, some random guy and me are all yelling at each other. Not over yet though. The fuckin dude then sucker punches me in the face! (luckily he punched like a pussy and she kicks like a pussy, that along with nuff alcohol in my system made for zero pain) By now security was all around and their asking me what I want to do. I had them thrown the fuck outta that place and went on to have a great time with some mexican chicas.
It was cool too because you had to buy a ticket to get into any club that night so they were each out their $50

A couple years ago I was sitting on the stage at a club I was playing at when a girl walked up and told me to put my hands up. Don't know why but I did. She then took a quick swing right at my package. WTF? Luckily she was pretty tipsy so she missed and hit me in the damn knee. She thought it was super funny. As soon as she looked up at me and realized I wasn't playing she kind of sobered up a little. She kind of got this sad look and asked if she showed me her tits if it would be cool? Ummm....Yes haha. They were nice I still got pictures haha.

Don't think titties would have been enough had she actually connected but thank god she didn't. I still have no idea why she did that haha.

And I don't want to hear anyone say that if she would have hit you in the knee and connected with your package haha

This isn't the DJ John Holmes forum hahaha

* she would have connected with your package

The last two stories are quality. How are you going to let a girl kick you in the head twice lol and then have her man punch you. Lol. Sorry. But ha ha.

The first funny thing I saw I was about 15/16 at someones birthday party in Bracknell and there was this fat girl giving head to this spotty skinny git. Pretty standard issue nowadays but at the time it was like wow and gross because she was this fat 16 year old in one of those dowdy mum type dresses.

About 6 years ago I see this one girl walking round a club my mate was djing at with baby gravy all over her face like a porn star. She was bumping into people and I kept thinking if she gets any of that mess on my Avirex I'll knock her the fuck out!! Lol.

And a few months ago. This one girl who was okish looking stumbled upto the booth with that gurner's look that says hi I've been popping pills all day and will now proceed to talk shit to you. So I get ready and for whatever reason I do not know I looked down and noticed that the girl had pissed herself. This wasn't sweat the girl had pissed herself. You know it's piss because for that split second where you're thinking is it sweat or a drink or something else the fan that I have by the booth wafts the smell in my direction and you think eeewwww go away skank!! Lol. I pointed at security and pointed subtly at the girls crotch. I see the security guard look then the look on his face like eewwww lol. He just tapped her on the shoulder and told her night had finished and it was time to go home and pointed her towards the door. Lol.

Oh and this one was kind of grimey. There was this Nia Long lookalike that I use dto try and chat to when I was younger and she was in this yardie club with her mates one xmas eve. The club was pretty boring and empty and my mate was like I'm going home but I was like nah I'm going to go and chat to her. So I bottled up the courage and get prepared to walk over the empty dancefloor to talk to this Nia Long lookalike and all of a sudden these girls just to the left of Nia get into a massive fight and this one girl is getting beeeeaaattt down. Lol. Nia goes up and breaks up the fight and asks the girl if she's alright. The girl said yes and as she does Nia says good and chins her no questions asked. Lol.

I went back to my mate and said yep it's about time we left. lol.

hmmm... this doesn't really count as messed up... it was kinda dope actually...

I was spinning at my regular spot a few weeks ago and this fairly drunk girl busts up into the booth (i'd left the door unlocked like a dumbass) and starts shouting some shit in my ear, some crappy request, so i just did the whole nod thing like i was gonna play her shit and kinda pushed her towards the door, then i realized the mix was drifting so i turn back to correct it and the next thing i know the chick has her tits out flashing the crowd. They weren't bad either. So she's doin the whole flash thing and leans forward to shake em around and DROPS ONE TIT ON THE PLAYING RECORD!! Sound stops. Crowd stops. I'm standing there just goin 'wtf??' After i kicked her outta the booth she had half the dudes in the room tryin it on.

One of the most golden moments ever...

Had a girl walk out of the club I was at relatively early so there was still some daylight.. She's fucked out of her head, walks 40 feet or so to the corner and proceeds to strip naked and wave at oncoming traffic.

This went on for about 15 - 20 minutes.. tourists had their cameras out and people were just cheering her.

Never seen anything quite like that before or since..

You don't need to watch tv no more. Just go to the club and watch drunk girls get trashed or s**tface on the floor etc. Now that's excitement for entertainment comedy !!!! LOL !!!

Not to play the race care but the ones get more drunk are the white girls....there hilarious !!!

2005 I was playing David Banner - Play which was huge at the time at this local bar. Dance floor wasn't too packed which made this moment such a scene. This cat was grinding this chick from behind and had his hand right up in this girls fly fingering her and not at all on the subtle tip. She was making crazy noises/faces getting really into it and everyone on the floor turned around and was staring/some getting grossed out of course. One of those you had to be there to get my perspective type of situations....craziest though for sure.

I believe he said SHAKE.. not choke.... choking would be just as bad (or worse?) then hitting one.

Got done with a show and while I was packing up I noticed the bar staff and security laughing and pointing at a couch in the VIP section. Guess some chic got so wasted she shit her self while pasted out! I was wearing my, Eddie Van Halen hi-tops...Brown note achieved! Thanks Eddie(:

P.S. They put that thing in the GM's office. Guess dj's aren't the only ones that hate management.

Wow IMG... where was this at? Ahahahaha!

I don't see what people would get grossed out about. Unless the chick was gross.

Damn my town is boring as hell compared all of those stories. A couple of weeks ago i was doin a birthday party and it was packed. You know how drunk ass chicks come on the stage and act like their scratchin the record. She had her hands all around my equipment. She was'nt that hot told her to back the fuck up. She knocked the needle off and closed my laptop....Silence. Luckly I opened my laptop quick enough where it was still logged in. I almost slapped her off the stage I was on. Had to have security boot her and her friends to the curb. Im still waiting for head in the booth or tit flash experience. We'll see what 2009 has to offer.

This past sunday, at this club where I spin at, they have gogo dancers that dance on the poles. Well that night there were none. So this girl who has on a skirt and a thong decides she wants to get on the pole. For about 10 minutes, She was on the pole doing any and every position on the pole in this skirt. All imma say is, at least she was shaved LOL. Oh and then she came in the dj booth and proceeded to dance with one of the other dj's. Her skirt was up the whole time. I think he fingered her. I tell you about Patron and women.

hey jordan,.. about 5 years ago i had a girl request a song that sucked!! and she insisted that i had to play it and i said if she can prove she can squirt ill play it,.... it took her about 10 min but she did!!! so i had to play it but it was pure comedy watching her try to get her self to cum that hard!!

Ever see the disappearing beer bottle? bitch was crazy.

I was spinning at a club - quite late in the evening, damn near empty club. Noticed a young couple, I'm guessing 17 (obviously underage) getting hot & heavy on one of the couches.
Being a good DJ, I played to the crowd, dropping anything I had that was filthy and/or slutty.
Long story short - she ended up giving him head. The weird part was the way she ended up lying flat on her back while he was on top of her, basically boning her in the face.
Class act.

Jesus man, where the hell do you guys spin at? I never seen no ish like that!

believe it or not, i see the weirdest stuff on the slow nights for some reason.

New years eve, about 11:30, there was a couple having sex standing up in the middle of the crowded dance floor.

pix or it didn't happen =P

I have a witness. :) Does that help?

JC: Dude, dude, dude... that chick is totally getting penetrated over there.. You concur?

Dude: Duuuuuuuuuuude! I con-cur!!!


lmao..

It's another forum member. He opened for me on NYE. I'm on the decks at 11:30 and he sends me a text. "There are people having sex on the dance floor. Definitely a sign of a good party."