Damn woody, did you really have to go there. Man that is funny. Any way the mods can just please remove this thread before I have to read all kinds of #2 stories?

hahahahaha oh you can bet there are some funny stories lined up!

Not Just (Knee Deep)?

oh yeah! I think Mods are in Miami... SO THERE!!! :-P You have to read #2 Stories 'til the come back! :P

that's the whole reason why i try not to 'eat' or 'drink' (other than water) at my gigs. i'm by myself.... it reminds of riding tha bus, and there's no driver.....oh, here he comes (what's that stuck on his shoes? a long train of t-paper)

I've always liked dingy clubs with dark booths and sawdust floors. You can hide a lot of indiscretion under sawdust.

I remember I was djing at a club once and I had to go #2...The bathrooms were nice since the club was just remodeled...but the doors had no locks on them! So instead of taking a shit with the possiblity of some drunk person walking in on me...I had my friend (who has little DJ experience) cover for me at the club when I searched the streets of Downtown San Jose for a bathroom. Fortunately I found a burrito place and used their bathroom, only to find out that there was no toilet paper...so I used a paper map that I got from a hotel that denied me the use of their bathroom...after that entire ordeal, I went back to the club and DJed a crackin party while feeling 10 pounds lighter....true story

^^^hahaha^^^

i live in San Jose and stayed at that same hotel... no wonder i got lost using that map.... those pieces of half chewed corn was covering the details!

ugh! come on, y'all....i was about to go to breakfast! nasty thread.

Put on a long @$$ compilation mixx and head straight for the hole.......drop your bomb and then come back and drop bombs as soon as you get back to make it up! ;o)

there's a spot i play at where the bathrooms turn into a urine river after about 10 minutes of being open. one of the most disturbing things you'll ever see...

but there is a nice restaurant across the way...i always tell the hostest i'm meeting some friends from alaska at the bar, creep to the bathroom in the back, and sneak out the back door. works like a charm.

Nappys or diapers as you call them is the solution to this problem

A little OT but has anyone ever checked out ratemypoop.com or something like that?

Problem can be solved if you sh*t, shower, shave, brush teeth before the Gig. :)

djtony-

not unless you DJed the night before, drank until 4 AM and then ate fast food on the way home!

Thats my ritual. I hate going to club bathrooms ... there's always chaps in there trying to extort a few buck from you with wack mint, soap and papertowels.

I wonder how those guys in there survive when someone really stinks up the joint.

You have some crazy stories. Thank God I've never had to do that while spinnin, while I'm at, well that's a different story.

yeah...i've accumulated some really ridiculous stories in the past few years.

nothing surprises me anymore.

My worst-ever:

You're DJ-ing a gay club, it's one of the steamy raw-sex joints, the toilets have no doors, they're all full with at least three guys in each cubicle that you couldn't separate with a crowbar, you've just dropped one of the best Es you've seen in years, and the technicolour ecstashit is bursting to say "Hello sailor!!".

Thank God there was a fire door. Thank God it wasn't nailed shut. And Thank God there was no-one in the alley.

Oh ... and Thank GOD for Peter Rauhofer and his 10-minute mixes :)

OMG LOL

The occasional 'eagle' when the toilet is nasty hasn't been mentioned yet. :P

DAMN! I'm sure all of us can relate to that one to some extent.

Sometimes at 4AM, I wind down with a cup a tea & biscuits because I don't wanna eat anything too heavy before I sleep.

The Eagle is a must if someone has already puked in there.

I found out the hard way that Miller high life gives me the #2's. I had one of the boucers at the club taker over. I just lined up the records for him and told him to fade in and out of the songs.

#2 is almost a spiritual thing, I consider it may library time.

S

Lol @ spiritual.

Never eat burittos before a gig ... that is the best laxative ever.

thanks to wireless, i no longer read the Fry's Electronic adds :)

Word! That's when I tag my converted vinyls!

one time i purposely didn't #2 for 3 days and ate nothing but round table pizza and burritos, and when i finally let it go, it was 5 different colors and went like 5 inches above the water line. i send it to rate my poo.com, that was about 2 years ago...never knew what happened to the picture.

^^lololol

You actually took a damp ...
Did not flash ...
Probably didn't wipe ya ass (no tissue in the pics)
Went and got a camera ...
Took a picture of your poo ...
and posted it online !!?

Daaaaaaaaang

yeah i wiped my ass but piled the toilet paper in a stack, then took a camera phone picture of it. i wish i still had it. i would post. yeah i emailed to all my friends. it was a major accomplishment for me.

dude, it was amazing. i was living in a MAP sober living at the time with son of dave davies from the kinks, and leaf garret, and this dude that sound engineered incubus's first album. i had to show them, they were amazed at my supernatural feat.

^^OMGLOL!!11

put on erotic city or the xmix that goes from House of pain jump around to la schmoove to T.R.O.Y.

Now with SSL I have some bathroom break mixes hehe two to three songs surronded by heaters

i have a couple of pre recorded mixes 3 or 4 tracks that can fill in while i drop out!

Play 12" Rappers Delight.

Play "New York" from Ja Rule, set the looping in SSL so that it repeats Ja Rules verse ;)

^
Yeah that oughta get the bowel movements going...

holly crap! I was thinking the same thing. I almost posted this a few days ago.

Btw, when I'm doing a club and I'm the only DJ, I'll play a mix CD or play a mixed mp3. I have a bunch of those for all types of occasions.

Cool. That gives the term "mixtape DJ" a new music. Admit it, you cant mix+spin, you only play SSL forum mixes at your parties :-P

I'm fine with that, but what about royalities? ;)

i'm not a paid endorser, but if you do have a case of the hot apple splatters, Imodium AD works like a CHARM!!! drop a hot one, take one or two of the pills and you're sealed up for the night.

what comes out of you the next morning is at your own risk, but for the night while you're DJing you're all good.

S, S and S before any gig, mater of fact, before leaving the crib period. me aint done a #2 public since me was a lad. hell I shower after each yo

the warm beer bottle tho, Ive done that. @ my mc, "yo dont let no one come up in the booth right now son, no one!"

Damn it! You caught me! lol


Btw, isn't it royalties? :P

www.discogs.com <- click
You are again right. Thanks for the correction. I bet you have that 12", dont you?

is this the only forum that speaks freely about bowelmovents, job interviews, hittin' tha slammer, getting shot in tha leg, getting kicked in that nads? or are all the other forums like this?

^^ I never new people 'rate their poos' ... but that very important piece of knowledge came to me via this forum.

Guess what .... now we have our own pooing contest at my friend's diggs .. starting Friday.

what are the rules and regulations?

HOLD IT!

The ones that make everyone go "daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam" make it to the playoffs.
In the playoffs there will be judges who are developing the scoring criteria as we speak.

The rules are not clear right now, but no fake poos will be allowed.

do you shit in a bag and bring it in to be judged?

^^ lol ...

I just heard the rules will go for authenticity. All action will be done on location, and everyone will have a chance to examine every attempt live ..

what about a taste test?

any idea what u plan to eat?

I am NOT entering this contest, LOL ....... but I plan to film a documentary on it. Who knows, if MTV bought jackass, this will be the next level.

well id plan to eat some solids, to the base would have a nice foundation. probably a lot of carbs like pizza, meat, or breadsticks, even bagels.....then mix is up with some milk shakes, and chicken wings with extra hot sauce. to add some colors, scent, and flavor. then eat some corn and raisin for extra meaure! oh yes, must not forget chees to slow down the digestion process. im going all the way on this one!

^^^Damn, lol^^^

i love it when im in the car and i fart. i roll up the window, and prepare myself for the envigorating scent. it hits me 2 seconds later. ahhhhhm.

You just might have a winner there .... but I am sure these guys have taken the time to do their research well. One dude is really stuffing up on the mushrooms and eggs. By Friday he will definately be a contender.

I am ready and will be recording this in Hi-Def as well. I have also taken the precaution and got one of those chemical masks from the army surplus store.

Paradise By The Dashboard Light. If you still don't have enough time, best hit up the CVS on the way home.

anybody who wants to battle shit me it's on!

on friday in portland i ate a steady diet of baha fresh, on saturday, i woke up after one hour of sleep and ate coffee and dogshit food in chicago (burgers/late night mcdonalds) owww...

sunday was spent at wrigley field (brats, hot dogs, old style brew) and then followed by superdog...

today, cheese steaks in philly and lotsa alcohol...

i'll sink anyone destroyer yo!

Man, I've felt guilty about this for over a year now so I gotta confess. I was DJing at this spot in NYC once and I had to #1 really really bad! My friend came by to see me near 2/3rd mark of the party. Inside the large DJ booth, they had those plastic tubs that busboys carry around to carry dishes and whatnot right? My buddy grabbed one of those and told me to go. I said no way but after 10 minutes, I was literally going to leak on my pants so I just went into that tub and left it in a corner of the DJ booth under a chair...I wonder how long it took for the club employees to find that tub...must have smelled nasty. Man, I am a nasty fugging butthole, I know... I just had to get that off my chest.

that is awesome.

lmao! hahahahaha

lol

i'd piss in the fog machine.

Make sure it's off an UNPLUG OK!!!

LOL

Another roody poo candy ass related thread ...

bump

Hahaha

I learned Saturday that eating Taco Bell while you're the only DJ is not a good thing.

that's exactly why i fast before a gig....too much riding on tha line.

i did my lil'est brother's wedding a few months ago, and i let go by 'eating'(my mom's got all mad cause i was 'wasting' food). well, luckily no emergency breaks happened, but when i had to walk the wifey and kidz to tha van and get em all buckled in to head home early, i set ssl on loop playing red red wine (int mode). well when i was walking back, i could hear some other song was playin.... i was like, who/how tha heck did someone figure out how to switch the music....well, i was tickled to see my other lil brother behind the booth, headphones on, trying to figure out ssl :) i have to say, with out any training what so ever, he figured it out.... that says something about how user friendly this program is :)