DJing Discussion

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You invited a girl to the club and she....

twinsouls 12:53 PM - 15 May, 2007
Started dancing with other guys.Not just dancing but grinding.

Heres the deal.The only thing I ask of a chick is that she dont do anything to me that she wouldnt like me doing to her.Thats not much is it??I dont know if these chicks really see things different than us guys or if they just play the part.Either way,1 strike and your out.No more bullshit games.(ya Im a little bitter right now from a past situation).

This girl Ive been seeing went to the bar where I DJ at last weekend and of course I was working so I couldnt really hang out with her.I look out to the dance floor and the girls dancing (grinding with other guys).Now Im not all emotional for this girl at all,in fact I told her Im not looking to a relationship now.She acts like shes on the same level but hints to wanting more eventually.It doesnt hurt me but I feel its a simple matter of respect.Has nothing to do with your heart,your gut instincts will tell you when somethings not right regardless of the technicality of the situation.I got her to admit that she would not like it if I was rubbing up on other chicks in front of her so I asked her why would she do that then?Even though she just admitted this she tried to justify it by saying "Im not just gonna stand there all night,I like to dance,its not like Im fucking them".I told her if she wanted to do that,she should and not change for no man and not me either but to keep this in mind,If she sees it as "Just dancing" now,she will always see it that way and I aint having that so forget about the possibilty of things being more than what it is.If your gonna dance like that with other guys in front of my friends,dont expect me to touch you and dont come near me like your with me.Im not gonna have no one see me like a sprung fool and think I would just let my chick dance like that in front of me.And be sure I will let my boys know you aint shit to me but another chick Im hittin'.I told her how would she feel if next time we went out and I started flirting with another girl in front of her and got her number?She said that was way different and was just rude.I said: "Well its not like Im fucking her,right"She said: "well what if I was to do that?" I said:"I would respect you more if you did.At least your having conversation with the guy before you start rubbing your ass on his dick"Yes,I told her this straight out.Had to.

A friend I work with told me that I have to many expectations from girls.I told her that I dont expect nothing but the same respect that Im giving.Am I wrong or over reacting??I started thinking that maybe I gotta except that girls are this way to make something work (If I was looking to a relationship)but then I find myself in this situation and I just cant.

Anyone feel me on this one?
J0be 1:29 PM - 15 May, 2007
Your expectations arent that high at all. There's not a chance I'd let any girl I was seeing rub her ass all over some random dude in a club. Its the work of a slut. Its pretty much guaranteed she'd end up cheating on you at some point in the relationship.

Stay away from that one buddy, keep those high standards, I certainly did, and the girl I found is outstanding, and she'd never even dream of dancing like that in a club.

**HOWEVER** you could always forget the relationship idea, and just use her for sex until the next girl come along! Depends on how much you value her friendship.

Heah up and take care.
J0be 1:30 PM - 15 May, 2007
**sorry that was...."head up"

Damn typo ruined my flow.
Monk-A 1:34 PM - 15 May, 2007
Just because a girl dances sexy with a guy dosne't mean she's going to cheat on you and it certainly dosen't make her a slut... I've know plenty of girls who are strippers, but are happily settled with their man and not interested in anything else.

It is a respect thing though, and if you tell her you don't like her doing it and she STILL does it then kick her to the curb.
mister iLL 1:35 PM - 15 May, 2007
it is definitely NOT cool for a girl that you're involved with to be grinding on random dudes while you're working at the club. unless you have explicitly told her that you're ok with her doing that. any girl who would do this aand then try to talk her way around it is not to be messed with.

the main point you made is correct: treat people the way you yourself would like to be treated.
Monk-A 1:38 PM - 15 May, 2007
Quote:
the main point you made is correct: treat people the way you yourself would like to be treated.


never a truer word said... I'm a firm beliver in what goes around comes around
LightFighter 1:47 PM - 15 May, 2007
take her home and bang her, it is what it is!!!
LightFighter 1:48 PM - 15 May, 2007
if it walks, and talks like a duck,,,,,,,then its a duck
DJJOHNNYM 1:56 PM - 15 May, 2007
WTF is she doin' comin' to your place of WORK? Tell her she's distracting you....(And messin' up your flow with the other chicks in the place...).
Nicky Blunt 1:56 PM - 15 May, 2007
Quote:
Your expectations arent that high at all. There's not a chance I'd let any girl I was seeing rub her ass all over some random dude in a club. Its the work of a slut.



I think ludacris takes girls like that to the hoetel as they tell eerybody! Even the mayor I also belive that they reach up in the sky for the hoezone layer!

LOL
De LA 2:18 PM - 15 May, 2007
can we get jerrys final thought on this...
The E Head 2:22 PM - 15 May, 2007
I would just keep hitting that ho!

Then once better arrives kick that ho straight to the kerb
J0be 2:33 PM - 15 May, 2007
Quote:
Just because a girl dances sexy with a guy dosne't mean she's going to cheat on you and it certainly dosen't make her a slut...


There's a difference between 'dancing sexy' and rubbing your ass on some cock. I hope your girlfriend knows the difference.
poloi3eai2 2:47 PM - 15 May, 2007
You told her you dont want a relationship so technically she can do whatever she wants. But it seems like you really have feelings for her. I wouldn't invite a girl that I'm trying to get with to club I'm spinning that night. What do you expect her to do? Stand behind you all night and watch you spin? At least she's leaving the club with you not some other dude. A club is not a good place to catch feelings.
Steve_Dub 2:52 PM - 15 May, 2007
My girl dances with other girls if she comes to the club while im spinning, and usually dances right in front of where im at. Its funny watching her diss all the dudes that try to come up to her.

Fuck that chick man, actually I was fuckin this one chick at some point and she did the same shit to me, I dropped her ass the next day, no explanations, I just straight up told her that I had a girlfriend the whole time we were messin around and im moving in with her so I cant talk to her anymore (none of which was true but I didnt want her calling me again)
DJJOHNNYM 2:58 PM - 15 May, 2007
Quote:
(none of which was true but I didnt want her calling me again)


Cold blooded...
J0be 3:18 PM - 15 May, 2007
Quote:
My girl dances with other girls if she comes to the club while im spinning, and usually dances right in front of where im at. Its funny watching her diss all the dudes that try to come up to her.

Fuck that chick man, actually I was fuckin this one chick at some point and she did the same shit to me, I dropped her ass the next day, no explanations, I just straight up told her that I had a girlfriend the whole time we were messin around and im moving in with her so I cant talk to her anymore (none of which was true but I didnt want her calling me again)


hahaha
tig ol' bitties 3:44 PM - 15 May, 2007
3 simple words...

THERE ALL WHORES!
Nicky Blunt 3:45 PM - 15 May, 2007
Quote:
3 simple words...

THERE ALL WHORES!


+1
scotty B 3:46 PM - 15 May, 2007
Women are the Devil!

Well they all have some devil in them. Some more than others...
Monk-A 3:58 PM - 15 May, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Just because a girl dances sexy with a guy dosne't mean she's going to cheat on you and it certainly dosen't make her a slut...


There's a difference between 'dancing sexy' and rubbing your ass on some cock. I hope your girlfriend knows the difference.


Dunno why you'd rub your ass on some cock but whatever floats your boat dude.

As for a girl rubbing her ass on some guys groin, ain't no big thing. If i told my girl i dind't like it and she still did it then i'd have reason to complain, and if she still did it then yeah maybe i'd dump her.

But I bet if you was in a club and some girl was doing it to you you wouldn't be complaining.

But, and here's the shitter, i'm secure enough in my relationship to not get jealous at something like that. Same as she wont get jealous if i go to a strip club with my friends or to a lapdancing club. Because at the end of the day she goes home with me or she dosen't come home again.

See it's this little thing called trust, quite important in a relationship, you may want to give it a try some day instead of instantly labelling girls sluts, it's enlightening belive me.
Dj KaGeN 3:59 PM - 15 May, 2007
Not sure how you can get mad at her for dancing with someone else. I think it's cool when my chic is at the club having a good time, be it dancing naughty with her hotty girlfriends or with some random dude that's just dancing or even attempting to hit on her. I know who she's going home with. I have the confidence knowing that she knows the moment he grabs ass, attempts a kiss or those lines that she will extinguish the advance. My favorite is when she gently points at "The DJ". Dudes back off quick or slow their roll immediately. I do not stand there mad dogging, the last thing I need is a shit match and a decrease in the vibe of my dance floor.

Think about it - wouldn't it be better see her in action at the club then not at all, ON GIRLS NIGHT OUT!!!!!?

Trust is key, and having confidence in your relationship. How in the hell can you be mad at dancing? Go ballroom dancing if you're so fuckin prude.
BanTrePeezyDotCom 4:00 PM - 15 May, 2007
Yeah i agree with everyone else. I have a chick in the same situation. and she has been at several events that I spin at, and guess what... she sit's in the back and just vibe with me and talks to her girls, or her and the girls get on the floor. She don't dance with any guys PERIOD, which is cool if she did or didn't Im not her man, but we do have a mutual understanding. If she did dance with one of the guys it would prob be the homie, and she would prob dance face to face, cuz she's not that kinda chick to dance ass to pelvics. only with me. Although, she's 33 so that explains alot, now them younger chicks, aint shhhhh. Your going to get that, cuz they don't know how to be a real lady yet. Good luck homie.
Certified Quality Entertainment 4:03 PM - 15 May, 2007
Quote:
Go ballroom dancing if you're so fuckin prude.


Some of that shit is even worse than grinding on someone. Have you ever seen Dancing with the Stars! Some of that shit is sexy as hell! hahaha
Rev. Jesse Jackson 4:11 PM - 15 May, 2007
Brother I can tell you probably thought this cutie was "the bomb."
With what her Louis Vitton, under her arm. She might have been swayed by your charm. But I tell you brother it takes too much to touch her. Now I ain't saying shes a gold digger!
john blaze 4:20 PM - 15 May, 2007
Quote:
WTF is she doin' comin' to your place of WORK? Tell her she's distracting you....(And messin' up your flow with the other chicks in the place...).



Cosign
Volatile 4:22 PM - 15 May, 2007
The worst shit about that whole post is the fact that she was distracting you from spinning. If I performed worse on the decks cos i was constatly trying to work out what she was up to that would be it. Done, dusted, finito.

I'm not even gonna bother saying she's a slut etc etc etc.

She is though.
Dj KaGeN 4:24 PM - 15 May, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Go ballroom dancing if you're so fuckin prude.


Some of that shit is even worse than grinding on someone. Have you ever seen Dancing with the Stars! Some of that shit is sexy as hell! hahaha


that is made for TV and is it really that bug of a deal, to have fun and smile and act sexy? Get her all hot n bothered - she's gonna come home and fuck me senseless - gawd wouldn't that just suck!??!
DJBlisk 4:29 PM - 15 May, 2007
Dancing with dudes is fine... grinding on dudes is somethinge else and just disrespectful.
dj hes 4:36 PM - 15 May, 2007
Dude the best part is when you are spinnin, and YOU are playing the songs that she is grindin on dicks too... David Banner - Play, Get low, saltshaker, back that ass up, and so on... and you can just listen to the words as she is acting them out on dudes on the floor.

Not tryin to rub it in, i have been there. Then if lotsa pp come to the club to see you and they know she is sorta with you, it makes you look bad if this is supposed to be your chic. Thats when you pull out the camera and start takin pics with other chics hahaha
latindj 4:43 PM - 15 May, 2007
I think a lot of you are missing the point. All the man is asking for is a little RESPECT. Unfortunately, this day and age, that shit is all out the fucking window. Sure, maybe she's not his GF but he still deserves to be treated and respected as a man, especially if he's up there doing his job. She knew that he was not about to leave the booth to confront her with the dancing situation and she, in my opinion, took advantage of that fact. Any decent woman out on a date or whatever with you knows the boundaries of respect and whether it's appropriate to cross that line. In my opinion she crossed that line. I agree with you 100% twinsouls.
MusicMeister 4:47 PM - 15 May, 2007
twinsouls.... I feel you on your expecting respect.... give what you get... etc.... but you fail to see the one important thing. You are giving mixed signals...

1. I like you but I'm not looking for a relationship. Treating her like a friend.
2. Don't dance with other guys because I don't like it. Treating her like a girlfriend.


Make up your mind. If you're not looking for a relationship stop caring. If you care, then you ARE looking for a relationship - even if it's not real serious - you need to admit that to both yourself and her.


So reverse the situation. Girl tells you she's not interested in a relationship. You go to the club where she's working as a bartender and dance with other women - grinding up on them and basically just having a good time. She says WTF?!? I don't like it when you grind up on other girls where I'm working. People think you're with me and all I hear all night long is how you're getting freak-nasty on the dance floor with the local skanks.

What would you say? 'Girl! Why you trippin'? You said you wasn't interested in a relatioship!'

But SHE does it and suddenly she's in the wrong?

Think again....

And yes, she should respect the boundries you define as you should repsect the boundries she defines. But you set the boundries pretty loose.... if you don't like where the boundries are then you need to adjust them - but be honest with yourself and her.
diego vega 5:33 PM - 15 May, 2007
Quote:
twinsouls.... I feel you on your expecting respect.... give what you get... etc.... but you fail to see the one important thing. You are giving mixed signals...

1. I like you but I'm not looking for a relationship. Treating her like a friend.
2. Don't dance with other guys because I don't like it. Treating her like a girlfriend.


Make up your mind. If you're not looking for a relationship stop caring. If you care, then you ARE looking for a relationship - even if it's not real serious - you need to admit that to both yourself and her.


So reverse the situation. Girl tells you she's not interested in a relationship. You go to the club where she's working as a bartender and dance with other women - grinding up on them and basically just having a good time. She says WTF?!? I don't like it when you grind up on other girls where I'm working. People think you're with me and all I hear all night long is how you're getting freak-nasty on the dance floor with the local skanks.

What would you say? 'Girl! Why you trippin'? You said you wasn't interested in a relatioship!'

But SHE does it and suddenly she's in the wrong?

Think again....

And yes, she should respect the boundries you define as you should repsect the boundries she defines. But you set the boundries pretty loose.... if you don't like where the boundries are then you need to adjust them - but be honest with yourself and her.


*cha ching*

LOVEMEISTER
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 6:46 PM - 15 May, 2007
men are from mars and women are from venus

or was it the other way around?


oh, and trolls are from Uranus :)
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 6:46 PM - 15 May, 2007
btw, didn't they discover another planet...Xena? or sumthin like that?
twinsouls 10:29 PM - 15 May, 2007
Quote:
I think a lot of you are missing the point. All the man is asking for is a little RESPECT. Unfortunately, this day and age, that shit is all out the fucking window. Sure, maybe she's not his GF but he still deserves to be treated and respected as a man, especially if he's up there doing his job. She knew that he was not about to leave the booth to confront her with the dancing situation and she, in my opinion, took advantage of that fact. Any decent woman out on a date or whatever with you knows the boundaries of respect and whether it's appropriate to cross that line. In my opinion she crossed that line. I agree with you 100% twinsouls.


Thank You
Quote:
Make up your mind. If you're not looking for a relationship stop caring. If you care, then you ARE looking for a relationship - even if it's not real serious - you need to admit that to both yourself and her.


So reverse the situation. Girl tells you she's not interested in a relationship. You go to the club where she's working as a bartender and dance with other women - grinding up on them and basically just having a good time. She says WTF?!? I don't like it when you grind up on other girls where I'm working. People think you're with me and all I hear all night long is how you're getting freak-nasty on the dance floor with the local skanks.

What would you say? 'Girl! Why you trippin'? You said you wasn't interested in a relatioship!'

But SHE does it and suddenly she's in the wrong?





MusicMeister, I hear what your saying and the fact is: its not me thats sending mixed signals,its her.Ive never once told her anything about being with each other but she has the nerve to talk about a relationship and get all hurt about what I have to say.

And if the roles were reversed which they have been,she never had to or has to worry about going through this.Technically were not with each other,We know that.But that doesnt mean I have to be a asshole about it.I have self respect and that lingers out to the people I come in contact with.Heres my example:

Her cousin goes to my bar a lot cause shes married to the promoter good friend.I once had this girl trying to dance with me and kiss me while I was DJing and her cousin was looking right at us.I could have told myself "Fuck it,Im not with the chick (girl Im seeing)" but I didnt cause I thought the chick was cool.And she wasnt even there herself but I still did nothing in front of her cousin.I waited till after she left to seal the deal.Regardless, like I said I dont have to be a complete ass about it.I know I would want the same respect so I must give it.

Your right KaGeN,it is about confidence.The confidence to say what you feel without the worry of loosing a chick cause you know theres plenty more out there or trying to impress a chick cause this is what gets them in the first place.

I could easily pick up on girls to in front of her since were nothing but the way I see it is: There is always time for chicks,always.I could at least have the respect to wait untill she leaves the bar.Even if shes fucking me by the end of the night,doesnt make a difference.In that case (if your in a relationship)We should be able to fuck whoever we want.I mean if I know in the end my girl loves me and comes home to me then why should I care who else shes fucking.Her hearts with me right?I aint having that.A dance is not a dance anymore when you start grinding on others.In a relationship your girl is getting sexual with another guy and givng him a hard on.If your single and have no attachments, it OK but you should still have respect in front of your date or if you seeing someone.I just dont think you should expect what you cant dish out.At least this is my my opinion and thats what I told her.I even told her she shouldnt change for no man,its cool.But if we cant see Eye to Eye right now then why even think about going to the next level.
Mr. $weetlife 12:19 AM - 16 May, 2007
This chick doesn't sound like a winner at all. Dating has got to be a mutual respect thing.

I don't think you are wrong to feel the way you do.

If she invited you somewhere and she had to step away to do whatever, you wouldn't just start chatting up some other chick (If this is a chick you are interested in). And if you did, most women would be pissed.

You ain't about to stop DJing anytime soon and she doesn't seem to see the problem with grinding on strangers while you are mixing so this will probably be a serious issue if you get to relationship status. Bail out now before she gets pregnant!
Mr. Wright 10:39 AM - 16 May, 2007
I dunno why, i understand the respect thing BUT if you said you don't want to be her man, why are you getting mad over some bump n' grind dancing? You sound like you want a good time, a good lay, etc. but don't want ot be entirely exclusive. I understand you don't want it rubbed in your face but you pretty much told her WERE NOT EXCLUSIVE.