Have your brother talk to your wife. Have her mention it to him like, "how much is E11World charging you"?

If he says free, have her tell him that you do not do free gigs.

That's actually not a bad idea.

I would be up front with your concern and ask him.

Man, you should have said something the MINUTE you felt like you should be getting paid....

But yeah, go the wife route...

Agree

nm

Charge full price. He's trying to take advantage of you.

You: Hey sisters brother in law. You kinda sprung the baptism on me at the last minute and we never had a chance to go over my pay. I would like to do that now before the party so that I don't shock you with invoice after.

sbil: Oh what, I thought you were free, really, your going to charge me?

You: Uh yeah, what are you talking about. I don't work for free but I will tell you what I can do since were family. I will give you a __________discount. Just let me know how you want to move forward with this so that I don't load up all my gear if your having a change of heart.

Then just make sure he pays you before the gig.

If youre only worth $50 anyway - just do it for free :-)

"I heard you're a DJ?"

"Yup, the kind who wont even step out the house for free" is my immediate response.

And I have done gigs as gifts, but I make sure they know the dollar worth of that gift.

Just trying to get my head around the connection... 'Sister in Law's Brother "
Does that not make him your Brother in Law?

Yeah use the wife route or direct. I will be direct anyways. Buzz him on the phone straight.

This is exactly why I always always always tell friends and family I'm booked even when I'm not. My normal rate is $1799 just to DJ with no additional options so when I tell them I'll discount my fee for their event and do it for $1400, they usually are still offended that I'm charging them "that much".

It's a lose/lose situation most of the time and not worth the hard/hurt feelings/drama that could potentially come from it.

(Checks spelling, grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, and ensures all proper sentence writing rules were used before pressing post. I'm still nervous about the "always always always" breaking some kind of writing law). Lol!

With that type of diligence, you will do well here...

Congrats!

YAAAAAAASSSS! Lol!

Too subtle? Watchwww.youtube.com

if it was a wedding or something where they NEED you then it would be more tricky, but in this situation, if they don't want to pay, tell em you'll loan em a powered speaker and an ipod cord for the night cause they're family, i'm sure the baptism party will be fine without a live dj.

^^^THIS

You're better than me...

I ain't lending nuffin to nobody...

Are you giving up a paying gig that night? If so, just tell him how much you would be making and that you'd be happy to turn that job down if he can match the offer.

Another option is to just ask that they cover your costs incurred by doing the job ($50?) so that in his mind you are still doing it for free and not charging for you services and time.

Personally, I feel that my skill and investment in music/gear is a gift that I'm happy to give to my immediate family as long as I'm available and it isn't taken advantage of. A distant relative or fringe family member is a different story, but my wife puts up with the thousands that I spend on gear and music along with a room full of records and turntables so if she wanted me to hook her family up then it's better to keep her happy.

On a similar note, I will charge an equipment rental fee and donate my time for charities and acquaintances I feel worthy. If you don't do that you are not only working for free, but actually losing money, once accounting for transportation, setup/breakdown, wear & tear, etc... If someone is not willing to pay $200 for turnkey, professional entertainment & sound reinforcement then they can find another source.

"I feel worthy"

That's how I feel about DJing for any type of "family"

nm

Very touchy when it comes to family. There are cases where I won't do it if I can't swing it BUT if I am I would probably not charge anything. I would not have all the opportunities I do if it weren't for my family. Cars, furniture, etc. even my first set of real speakers (JBL MR-935's) were gifted to me from a close family friend.

It is a dog eat dog world out there and family is the ONE area this should not apply. I guess this has a lot to do with environment and such.

All that being said I wouldn't be bringing my expensive stuff. I would bring the low end gear (DDJ-SX, small powered speakers, backup MBP, etc) so if anything were to break it wouldn't phase me at all.

It all goes back to what you are willing to do and this is probably how it would play out (as it usually does).

I would NOT charge a penny, I would end up having a great time myself, then they would end up forcing me to take $100 or so anyways LOL. Couldn't tell you how many times this has happened.

That's a great outlook on things, and you're blessed to feel that way.

Unfortunately, SOME family members will take advantage....and won't offer JACK...

Ha, I had a RECENTLY DISCOVERED family member (like a cousin of a cousin of my wife or something) reach out to me and say, "Hey, I understand we're family, I'm trying to do such and such and as for payment, since we're family, I was hoping you'd "Donate Your Time" for compensation....blah...blah...blah..

Never even met her...

Wife nevva....lmao.

Nah, I'm booked...sorry.

" Unfortunately, SOME family members will take advantage....and won't offer JACK..."

This right here. For me, it's all about close family. That includes my parents, my brothers and sisters and their kids. They're the only ones I would do anything for free. Anyone else, business as usual. lol

nm

I get it that's why I mentioned environment earlier. It really will be different person by person, family by family. I can't say I would do this for every member of my family but all of my immediate and the majority of my extended. I got into this whole thing with lighting for parties for our friends then figured I'd play the music at our parties too so it kind of snowballed into a real DJ business after all the family and friend parties which would probably make sense as to why it just seems so natural to me.

My best advice is to look at the sister in law's brother (or whatever) and ask yourself would he do it for you/what HAS he done for you. Not so much a bartering thing but just as a measure of who they are and what they are worth to you personally.

lol so lots of confusion there. Sister in law's brother.. My brother's brother in law. He is my sister in law's brother. His sister married my brother.. Not my brother in law I guess but my brother's.

They are very close and know I own all the system and all that stuff so no rental charges there. I only considered it for my brother's sake.

Ok on to more stuff. I appreciate all of your inputs on this and you guys will love what happened.

I already djayed for his son's baptism the year before for FREE. He didn't mention the money and I said fine that's a gift (expensive). I charged others at the time $250-$350.
Now I'm charging $500-$600 and trying to keep the 20-%25 discount rule. My area that's sort of high for DJs carrying my gear and party sizes.

Ok so all enjoyed the night. Tons of fun. End of the night. Here's where my stupid kindness and dumbass nice personality kicks in (knowing that his brother gave me $400 for his daughters birthday the same year after I said pay me whatever you think is fair). this is not exactly word for word below here

Guy: how much do you want man?
Me: oh its all good man. whatever you want.

Guy: really tell me i don't know how much you get paid
Me: its up to you man. i cant really say

Guy: is $200 enough?
Me: looking like what the hell??? i said thanks man that's all good

Guy: notices my attitude, not enough.. u want more man?
Me: thats ok man. no worries

Guy: are you sure..i can pay u more if its not enough
Me: that's it man as long as everyone had fun

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. what the hell is wrong with me
so yea i took the $200 and started thinking on the way home.. shit.. what the fuck did i do

wrong of me to do this i know but here's the final fuck up:
i called him after 10 minutes..

Me: hey man, just wanted to tell u if anyone asks especially your bro.. say u gave me $400
Guy: was it not enough

Me: to be honest, i get paid $500-600 and family/friends discount is 20%. ur brother gave 400
Guy: i can pay u more

Me: sure man.. next time we meet pay me the rest (meanning the other 200)
Guy: ok man

Later i hear they're pissed because i asked for the rest of my money (what's fair) even though I kind of missed my chance at first but still I only wanted to make sure the brother doesn't think i took advantage as well and thought he should know what i actually charge and the discount he got..

check this.. never got that money.. he didnt even call to say i will or whatever after

Jeez Dude,

Stop shaving the hair on your balls. Its there to remind you your a man if your balls aren't enough. The way I see it you fucked up from the word go and fucked it up even more from the words "thanks man" You accepted the $200 and he gave you a chance to tell him you wanted more and you still didn't. You shouldn't take another dime from him and consider it a learning lesson in negotiation. A two to three hundred dollar lesson. In the future have a set rule for friends and family discounts. And stick to that rule with everyone and anyone that wants a "bro hookup" and really doesn't deserve one. Lastly pick you the phone and call your bother in law and tell him your sorry for handling that situation so poorly. Tell him you learning the whole negotiation thing and its not your strong point but your learning. Tell him you guys are square and leave it at that.

my family knows I don't DJ for free and wont dare ask me to do it for free. They all come together and pay me hell last week my older brother had me DJ his birthday party and paid me. He even asked where is my tip jar I said I don't need one he said the hell you don't I made $300 in tips that night.

but If you didn't say nothing to them when they said we might need you to DJ and now its 1 day b4 you cant ask for money just mention a minimum tip of $50 since that's what your gift was. and next time mention a payment.

Damn. Yeah. You fucked up but learn from it. Next time just set a set price. Never leave it up to them. Ever.

________________________________________
Bragging rights for life bitch! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
serato.com

nm

for sure guys.. i fucked up big but i don't think i need to apologize. His brother just gave me the $400 with a similar scenario except he mentioned that he'd pay me from the start.

It's not about balls or any of that.. family matters are just effy..
I wanted to make sure word is I charged him more so if anyone else (especially the brother), it wouldn't be as awkward.

Anyways, lesson learned.. I kept saying stupid to myself over and over but money is not everything .I'm definitely not going that root for anyone else again.

I learned from a quote once "if you look for cheap clients, you get cheap clients" and this is what this guy will bring to me at that price.

The positive note is, everyone enjoyed the night and I actually got another gig from it but turned it down since I was booked.

wow I just read the out come. I go keep it 100 with you and don't take it personal but its business. WTF is wrong with you. never say what do you think is good. I know mofo that will give you $25 and a beer then laugh at your ass later. he constantly ask you how much and even said Man which mean How much you want. he knows his bro paid you $400 trust that. once you accepted $200 and walked out it was a done deal. He even noticed by your action that you wanted more but didn't have the heart to say it.

hope you learn a lesson and always have a set price no discount mentioned. my sister bf told her he needed me to DJ his daughter sweet sixteen. She said that my brothers busing and I don't know what he will charge you that's between you and him. I was in that same boat in the beginning of my career. my pops told me if you don't know what your worth then your in the wrong business. If you cant say what you want grow some balls.

ouch there.. not much wrong with me man.. just a little too polite in that specific situation.. other than that. lesson learned and life's good lol

tell your relatives you equipment is busted and you need to rent

$500 for the rental, your service is "FREE"

Pretty clever.

It would work but sister in law knows lots about this and it wouldn't work exactly. I thought about it and have done it once before with someone else.

That's what I use when I get my weekly "will you DJ our Charity Event for free?" hitup. I'll donate my skills & services but you have to pay for equipment rental to cover transportation, wear & tear, setup & breakdown. Usually scares them off; they don't like to hear that I'd put in more time, effort, & work for their event then they do.

All these years I never thought of that. SMH