It doesn't get more offtopic than this...

About 2 years ago I was shitting blood.... Good times. Anyway after a bad blood shit session I decided enough is enough and went to the ass doctor. I told him there must be something seriously wrong cause it looked like I either had my period which is impossible or an abortion, equally impossible. I didnt expect the next string of events to happen.
Assdoctor: pull down your pants.
Me; what!!
Assdoctor(with attitude). I have to check this out.
me; oh man I didnt expect this.. (you guys know that I'm slightly homophobic)
ad;... its the only way
Me; uuhhhh ok
ad;... You might feel something loosen up
me;... Woah WTF man
ad;... You got to stop clenching you butt
me;.... No fuckin way man
Then it happened... The fucker went 3 knuckles deep, then bent his finger up!
the feeling of being raped is indescribable. He said you got to relax its just hemroids. (with my pants already buttoned) said you had to rape me to figure that out. He was more pissed than me. He scheduled me for one of those tests where they shove a tube up your ass to check for asscancer. I left immediatly and never went for the test.
Its been 2 years and Im still traumatized over it. Also I still have a mutant hemroid and shit blood. I figure I'm not gonna live long and die a horrifying death...
***jerky boy voice*** Its tearin the ass out of me!..
will it ever go away?

Good times!

Is this a confession thread? lol


I don't know if you really need a colonoscopy or not. But, why didn't you have the hemorroids treated????????? My uncle died of colon cancer and let me tell you... it's a horrible way to die. He did the same thing you did... too embarrassed to have the colonoscopy done.

fuck a colonoscopy

At least have the hemorroids treated fool. They don't need a colonoscopy for that. lol

Yo stevie, you need to give in and get the procedure done. They will drug you up so much you won't know what's going on. You could even get put to sleep probably. Its serious man as sixxx said you don't want colon cancer.

They don't necessarily put you to sleep or give you any anesthetic but I'm sure you can request it. But, health is something u don't mess with.

www.dailyhaha.com

^^^^^^^LMAO!!!!

Seriously, seek medical attention.

www.scratchlive.net

stevie o's butt crack bump thread...

www.gicare.com

did the doctor do something like this?

wiki.bmezine.com

NSFW

^^^NSFAnybody!!

video.google.com

Why, oh why, did I open this fucking thread?

Yo man, I suffered a similar experience a few years back.

I went through with the nasty experience of being anally pumped full of optics. They even forced me to watch as the probe entered deep into my guts, which was especially terrifying because I could feel the penetration as I saw the fleshy tissue on their evil screen.

In the end I went back to the finger man who originally ordered me into the probe cubicle. What he told me is one of the reasons that I hardly hold any trust for western medicine at all anymore.

He said that there was a lot of sh*t up my @ss, blocking the clear view of possible cancers.

And some people I know still say I should go back for more!

lol T-bone...

When they do a colonoscopy, you're supposed to fast for 2 days... not eat anything except clear liquids (no juices) and you're supposed to give yourself a few enimas so it's clean up there so they can check for cancer and shit.

delete the shit part. lol

Welcome to the club of embarassing threads you wish you didn't post, that get bumped every day :)

Fuck a bump

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tmi

tmp

i have a question steve: did the doctor have both his hands on your shoulders while giving you the exam?

lol

hahahahahahahahaha to funny Lou

mad funny

So thats how u got the name stevie O, the :O is the face he made during the exam.

haha O for ouch

Hahahaha. You know you borrow the o face line from a movie.... but it's still funny. lol

You should borrow some Preperation H from the "macho dudes outside the club."

I bet tiny little has some.

you's over 50 yars old?

what these guys said

Lol. I had to think about that.....

...and when I did I immediately wished I hadn't thought about it. Ewwww. Lol.

got piles once, saw doctor, got treated, 2 weeks later all clear, no problem since.

get it sorted.

and the hooked finger was checking your prostate.

diseased prostate = no erections, burning pee.

whats piles?

Word (+1))

Hemorhoids

yep.

couldnt be bothered to spell it.

wat's prostate? prostate-toot on a hookr?

knukkels = ballsac

Quote
Quote
Quote
i have a question steve: did the doctor have both his hands on your shoulders while giving you the exam?

Lol. I had to think about that.....

...and when I did I immediately wished I hadn't thought about it. Ewwww. Lol.
knukkels = ballsac
Looooooooool Soon2b!

thread locked

ibtl, damn bro get those ass sores fixed

Lol @ Balls deep.

IBTL.

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when this happened to me, i said that its one of the funniest things that can happen to somebody else, whilst being totally unfunny when its you. i also said that it wouldnt stop me poking fun at people about it, it just meant i would be able to sympathise, after making a joke.

that said...

www.wholefoodsmarket.com

bump :)

bonp

Lol.

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how did B2K put it????? bump bump bump!

Lol @ Barber.

º

Wow, you are so homophobic that you cannot get necessary medical treatment? C'mon man...

How about requesting that a female doc does the procedure? This way when you get aroused it won't even be remotely homosexual.

Stop being a bitch and take care of yourself.....

That is if u enjoy being ALIVE....

* chuckles and walks out

This thread is 9 months old

lmao

briguy buttcrack bump????

Mentally or in Dick Size.......

ZING!



Maybe Briguy can give you some pointers Stevie

How old are your piles homey?

Stevie, I'm a surgery scheduler for 3 general surgeons and they do Hemorrhoidectomy's all the time. You DO get put to sleep for it under general anesthesia so it's not that bad at all. Depending on your age though you should have a colonoscopy done. It's not fun (from what I hear) but if your health means anythinig to you (family, kids, etc.) then you should reconsider.

I dont know man you in a room bent over with no pants on unconscience with a bunch of guys sounds kinda gay to me(because the whole going through med school to be a professional Dr is prob just a gay ruse to get guys into this kinda position anyway)... then again if you assbleed to death youll prob have some sick homosexual mortian poppin on off in ya so its lose lose either way huh

foreverloyal.files.wordpress.com

hahah nice

z.about.com

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Booty Bumps

ª

¿

why do keep reviving this thread? its 9 months old. You guys love to talk about my ass.
for the record I still have ass trouble. I ran on the tredmill yesterday and had major ass blood when I was done. I think I popped a hemmy haha

Use a tampon.

Ok I think your sister left a some at my house on her last visit.

damn stevie...you got red wings?

Hahahah

Seriously go and get it seen to.

fuck that. I lost my job and benefits. If I die I die

Hmmm well FYI, some docs charge less than $100 for a visit. Nurse practitioners are said to charge even cheaper and can be searched online.

My problem wasn't as bad as yours, but I had it taken care of pretty quickly. No more itchy butt.

Universal healthcare FTMFW!

100$ to have a man with a degree stick his finger up my ass? no thanks no homo

Ok to be serious. A $100 for a minor inspection or whatever a funeral costs for your family to cover. Fix up bruv.

This thread is a real pain in the ass.

LOL

I havent recieved a penny from my family since i was 14 and I will pay my own funeral. Anyone that leaves that costly responsibility to their family isnt cool in my book.
my ass is fine
thread locked

Ya seriously anyone who dies should get a damn job to pay their bills off...fuckin leaches

Or save money when alive

damm stevie, your ass is getting more attention than your dj sklillz. you better put out a mixtape. lol.

I have no skills , that's why I have all this ass discussion. Also I can't take criticism well and the boys on this forum are ruthless. If I make a bad mixtape my ego will be shattered and will never recover. HAha
Good times

lol.

Damn man, youre acting totally childish!

Would someone please call his mom so she can grap him by the ear and drag him to the doc?

He's a closet homo. That's y he's defensive.

stevie o, let me put it to you this way....

going to the doctor to get a checkup is not homo, even if he sticks his finger knuckles deep in the holiest of holy's....

going to the doctor on a weekly basis and looking forward to that exam IS homo...

so just go have the test done every year or so and no one is going to revoke your man card.

To be it in simple terms, what LatinDJ and the rest of us are saying is:

MAN UP and get your health right

HAHAHAH i can see the dr looking at him like werent you just in here yesterday why are you back so quick....ummmmmmm it hurts again can you check it out

hahahahahahahah good one.

www.youtube.com view

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Haha, hemeroids, ahhh....

...As in hemorrhoid bump, or thread bump...

rump bump

Stevie--- is it really that hard (no misquoe) or terrible for you to have a Doctor check you out??? I mean there is a normal level of embarrasment that any of us would have but when you start bleeding like you've been stabbed--all bets are off.....but a finger up my ass all you want (yes misquote)

ENCORE!!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

poor stevie. this thread won't die.

havent had a hemmy in a while.

Benefiber & Gummybears with Fiber

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I used to think this thread was soo funny until two days ago...

I am in crazy pain!!!! I may have to make a Dr. appointment, soon..

just have butt sex and hope they pop. lmao!

Did that work for you latindj?

Not sure, you never told me if I got yours to pop...

Your tool wasn't big enough

dude, I thought asking for the baseball bat was going a bit too far, but when you weren't satisfied and wanted the jack hammer, I had had enough...

I once got dumped by a chick - at a rave - while I had a hemorrhoid.

true story