DJing Discussion

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Tricks With REL mode?

Celphoner 9:40 AM - 29 August, 2007
Im Wondering what different tricks does everyone use with REL mode?

At the moment i just use it to be able to instantly get to the start of a song by using the que point. And of course its good because the needle never skips.

But what are some more advanced techniques that can be done with relative mode?
The E Head 12:45 PM - 29 August, 2007
search for "easter egg" big ass thread goes into more details but here the just of it

when you open SSL before you load any song click on tap and hold teh space bar for a few seconds, you'll see a message appear at the bottom of the screen

that the auto looping unlocked

now click alt + 1,2,3,4,5 (left deck) alt 6,7,8,9,0 (right deck)

Also alt+T or alt+g
Audio1 4:51 PM - 29 August, 2007
Quote:
alt+T or alt+g


This is fun at the club/raves!
sixxx 5:01 PM - 29 August, 2007
If you're on a Mac, do Command + Q. It's cool!
dirtbag filthy 5:37 PM - 29 August, 2007
relative mode did my laundry
DJ-A 5:46 PM - 29 August, 2007
Quote:
If you're on a Mac, do Command + Q. It's cool!

i've never done that... what does it do?
sixxx 5:51 PM - 29 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
If you're on a Mac, do Command + Q. It's cool!

i've never done that... what does it do?



Try it. It's super dope if you do it at peak our at the club!
DJ-A 5:53 PM - 29 August, 2007
hmmmm that sounds like a set-up...
AFR33K1000 5:59 PM - 29 August, 2007
Are you sure you want to ____?
grrillatactics 6:31 PM - 29 August, 2007
Quote:
If you're on a Mac, do Command + Q. It's cool!


This is a crowd pleaser for sure.
AFR33K1000 6:38 PM - 29 August, 2007
^^^^Yeah what's that easter egg called?....The Cricket effect?
djpuma_gemini 7:41 PM - 29 August, 2007
Command Q is the shit I use it all the time. It get a look on the crowds face like Damn He is bangin that shit so good I can't hear myself think anymore.
monkeybiz 7:43 PM - 29 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
If you're on a Mac, do Command + Q. It's cool!

i've never done that... what does it do?


It's great! I can vouch for it! I cap off just about every set with that one.
sixxx 8:33 PM - 29 August, 2007
Command + Q works best when you're doing doubles though. Remember that.
tig ol' bitties 8:34 PM - 29 August, 2007
is there a hot cue button to turn doubles on and off?
tig ol' bitties 8:34 PM - 29 August, 2007
i need the fuckin overlay thing. I dont know any of these tricks at all.
djaction 8:38 PM - 29 August, 2007
I did the Command + Q shortcut in the middle of playing 'Soljah Boy - Crank Dat' and I got a standing ovation. Thanks guys!!!
sixxx 8:40 PM - 29 August, 2007
Quote:
I did the Command + Q shortcut in the middle of playing 'Soljah Boy - Crank Dat' and I got a standing ovation. Thanks guys!!!


Dope.
dj hammurabi 8:42 PM - 29 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
I did the Command + Q shortcut in the middle of playing 'Soljah Boy - Crank Dat' and I got a standing ovation. Thanks guys!!!


Dope.


Wrong? Yes. Funny? Yes.
sixxx 8:46 PM - 29 August, 2007
Funny Dope! New concept. Also, an extraordinary trick!
bandoma 8:53 PM - 29 August, 2007
word up on the "command q" trick. ive done that during soljah boy as well. shit sounds really nice.
monkeybiz 9:24 PM - 29 August, 2007
Quote:
word up on the "command q" trick. ive done that during soljah boy as well. shit sounds really nice.


But you also have to hit "Enter", like, instantly.
sixxx 11:32 PM - 29 August, 2007
If you wanna be super cool while doing it, do what every major DJ does:

a) Rock the crowd into a frenzy.
b) Show them how you can get blindfolded cause you rock!
c) Command + Q (if you're that good with a blindfold)
d) Press enter.

Oh yeah, don't forget doubles! It's essential.
smoothe 12:36 AM - 30 August, 2007
What the hell does command Q do?
I don't have a mac.
Can this be done on a PC as well?
djpuma_gemini 12:36 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
If you wanna be super cool while doing it, do what every major DJ does:

a) Rock the crowd into a frenzy.
b) Show them how you can get blindfolded cause you rock!
c) Command + Q (if you're that good with a blindfold)
d) Press enter.

Oh yeah, don't forget doubles! It's essential.

Dont forget Command + Option + Q, you gotta choose Serato, but that shit is nice too.
Dj BuddyLove 12:40 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
What the hell does command Q do?
I don't have a mac.
Can this be done on a PC as well?

+1
Konix 12:46 AM - 30 August, 2007
ALT+F4 on PCs.
Dj BuddyLove 12:49 AM - 30 August, 2007
humm cool.
ill check it out when i get home.

thanks konix
djnvs 1:18 AM - 30 August, 2007
Don't forget Command A+M... the auto crusher
Dj BuddyLove 1:20 AM - 30 August, 2007
djnvs is that alt+A+M or just A+M

dont know about this?
probbly a set up to crash our drives?
who wants to be the ginny pig first.
djnvs 1:28 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
djnvs is that alt+A+M or just A+M

dont know about this?
probbly a set up to crash our drives?
who wants to be the ginny pig first.


Sorry I have a mac... on pc it would be alt a+m...
AFR33K1000 1:29 AM - 30 August, 2007
Fuck it, at this point........Power + R





































































...........On a mac of course
smoothe 1:29 AM - 30 August, 2007
Alt+f+4 closes the program.
I don't get it.
AFR33K1000 1:30 AM - 30 August, 2007
Not if you have caps lock enabled
Dj BuddyLove 1:30 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
djnvs is that alt+A+M or just A+M

dont know about this?
probbly a set up to crash our drives?
who wants to be the ginny pig first.


Sorry I have a mac... on pc it would be alt a+m...

ahh thats the djam hide track function right!?
sixxx 1:31 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Fuck it, at this point........Power + R

...........On a mac of course


That's the super easter egg essential! Nice.
AFR33K1000 1:31 AM - 30 August, 2007
Oh yeah, and playback keys use SHIFT
sixxx 1:31 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Alt+f+4 closes the program.
I don't get it.


You're not doing it right. Plus you gotta do it live in front of a crowd anyway. It doesn't work otherwise.
Dj BuddyLove 1:32 AM - 30 August, 2007
^^lol

"crickits"
djnvs 1:43 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
djnvs is that alt+A+M or just A+M

dont know about this?
probbly a set up to crash our drives?
who wants to be the ginny pig first.


Sorry I have a mac... on pc it would be alt a+m...

ahh thats the djam hide track function right!?


Actually, it lets automatically crushes it in the mix for you
Dj BuddyLove 1:46 AM - 30 August, 2007
huh??
i hope you didnt mean it dose the mixxing for you.
i support no-mico djing
djnvs 1:47 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
huh??
i hope you didnt mean it dose the mixxing for you.
i support no-mico djing


No no no.... it just crushes it... for those that can mix, but not quite crush it
Dj BuddyLove 1:49 AM - 30 August, 2007
crushes it?? you mean compresses..

shit dude im confuzed
sixxx 1:51 AM - 30 August, 2007
Crushes it.... tightens it up! You know. Makes it 1000 times better.
Dj BuddyLove 1:53 AM - 30 August, 2007
ill try it later. so i see what ya mean?
AFR33K1000 2:02 AM - 30 August, 2007
And for all the black Belt, truly kiwi-fied Serato users out there;

CTRL+SHIFT+S
Right click +A
Double Tap +R
Type +C
Hold Caps+TAB +A
ALT +S
CTRL Tap ENTER +M

Will allow you to understand this Forum.
djnvs 2:03 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Crushes it.... tightens it up! You know. Makes it 1000 times better.


Sixxx knows what's up.....
Dj BuddyLove 2:08 AM - 30 August, 2007
kiwi-fied?

thats a new one.
what the hell dose that mean?
djnvs 2:12 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
kiwi-fied?

thats a new one.
what the hell dose that mean?

You don't know?

Type L,R,L,R,A,B,Select,Start

It will give you the meaning of kiwi-fied
Dj BuddyLove 2:13 AM - 30 August, 2007
^^^LOL



"crickets"
djnvs 2:15 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
^^^LOL



"crickets"

Dude, seriously... try it... it will also give you infinity chances at crushing it in the mix
AFR33K1000 2:16 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
kiwi-fied?

thats a new one.
what the hell dose that mean?


I don't know, Open Serato hit CTRL F and Type in "kiwi-fied"




.................Serato's the new google / Wikipedia, it will find anything for you.
Dj BuddyLove 2:18 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
^^^LOL



"crickets"

Dude, seriously... try it... it will also give you infinity chances at crushing it in the mix
huh??

man i must be dumb. because i dont understand a friggin thing you guys are talking bout. L,R,L,R,SELECT,START
Dj BuddyLove 2:19 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
kiwi-fied?

thats a new one.
what the hell dose that mean?


I don't know, Open Serato hit CTRL F and Type in "kiwi-fied"




.................Serato's the new google / Wikipedia, it will find anything for you.
NO IM NOT THAT STUPID
djnvs 2:21 AM - 30 August, 2007
Just do as stated above and search for "cheat codes" in serato
Dj BuddyLove 2:22 AM - 30 August, 2007
will see..but have to do it later.
at work
AFR33K1000 2:26 AM - 30 August, 2007
^^^^Oh uh RING THE ALARM I think we may have a Smoothe Jr here.


**Reference**


www.scratchlive.net


Your New Name : Dj Smoothe BuddyLove Jr
KaGeN 2:29 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
And for all the black Belt, truly kiwi-fied Serato users out there;

CTRL+SHIFT+S
Right click +A
Double Tap +R
Type +C
Hold Caps+TAB +A
ALT +S
CTRL Tap ENTER +M

Will allow you to understand this Forum.


fyckin brill-yant
alphaquake 2:29 AM - 30 August, 2007
U,U,D,D,L,R,L,R,B,A,SEL,START will give you 30 men

D,R,U,X,L,Y,B will give you championship edition
Dj BuddyLove 2:33 AM - 30 August, 2007
ahh no dont think so.
Dj BuddyLove 2:34 AM - 30 August, 2007
^^
Quote:
^^^^Oh uh RING THE ALARM I think we may have a Smoothe Jr here.


**Reference**


www.scratchlive.net


Your New Name : Dj Smoothe BuddyLove Jr
DrStank 2:35 AM - 30 August, 2007
on PC, if you don't have Caps Lock on, you will close Serato. So make sure it's Caps Lock, then hit Alt+F4.

On Mac, Command+Q, Enter is dope buy you HAVE to try the Auto Break Beat feature. You have to do this in Relative Mode. Fill a crate with songs that have breaks in them, like James Brown's Funky Drummer, Apache, etc... Load the first song in that crate into the NON-Playing deck. When you're ready for the Auto-Break, hit Command-Q and IMMEDIATELY let go of Command-Q and real quickly hit "Y." You have to do it within one beat "Boom-Bap" or else it will just load the next song.

Remember, Load first track... then when you're ready, Command-Q/Y real quick.

Enjoy.
Dj BuddyLove 2:44 AM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
And for all the black Belt, truly kiwi-fied Serato users out there;

CTRL+SHIFT+S
Right click +A
Double Tap +R
Type +C
Hold Caps+TAB +A
ALT +S
CTRL Tap ENTER +M

Will allow you to understand this Forum.


fyckin brill-yant

ok...this shit went way over my head..
nice one AFR33K100 or should i say SARCASM


lol, man i got to get off this fourm at work..
shits flying by my head *duh*
AFR33K1000 2:48 AM - 30 August, 2007
Dear Serato,

Can you please Remove the "Exit?" dialog when I

Quote:
ALT+F4 on PCs.


Causes I'm really having a hard time doing

Quote:
a) Rock the crowd into a frenzy.
b) Show them how you can get blindfolded cause you rock!
c) Command + Q or ALT + F4 for us PC fags (if you're that good with a blindfold)
d) Press enter.


(like Guru Sixxx said)

Thus finding it hard to gain pure satisfaction with this software. I demand this bug fix be in before 1.8 :)


Matter of fact I'm going to the Feature suggestions right now.


Sincerely yours, AFR33K
DJ Art Pumpin Payne 2:58 AM - 30 August, 2007
ROTFL....

You guys are gonna kill some microwave this weekend.

I was confused until you guys said Quickly hit the "Enter Key"

LOL! This shit is sooooo cool
djnvs 3:06 AM - 30 August, 2007
Lol... microwaves will be the new am if they follow my command + a+ m feature
J0be 1:51 PM - 30 August, 2007
lol this is the funniest thread ever.

Fucking AWESOME! Just rocked a gig in the UK, crowd hit capacity, people dancing on the bar, saw my moment, dropped a heavy bassline, hit Command +Q.

THE WHOLE FUCKIN PLACE ERUPTED! Crowd went mental.

Saw the promoters in the corner giving me the wink and the gun.

I'm big time now baby, going all the way.

Thanks guys!
djaction 2:00 PM - 30 August, 2007
the funniest part about this thread is that in the older (pre-current beta) version of Serato Command+q or Alt-F4 would actually QUIT serato.

You have to try it with the new beta to actually see what it really does.
J0be 2:13 PM - 30 August, 2007
Yeh, weird that!

Still, what a function though! REL mode blows my mind.
djnvs 4:22 PM - 30 August, 2007
Relative mode is jesus magic
sixxx 4:29 PM - 30 August, 2007
lol @ jesus magic.


Oh man. Some dope ass shortcuts, commands, hidden eggs, and things like that on this thread! I made a cheat sheet. :)
djnvs 4:32 PM - 30 August, 2007
Didn't you know there's a command for making cheat sheets too?
sixxx 4:33 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Didn't you know there's a command for making cheat sheets too?


Oh shit! That's right! Damn it.
djnvs 4:34 PM - 30 August, 2007
Duhh... betta ax sumbawdy... ok...that's my ghetto talk for the day
tig ol' bitties 4:35 PM - 30 August, 2007
who wants to be a kind gent and inform us dummies about the shortcuts and commands for a mac?
tig ol' bitties 4:35 PM - 30 August, 2007
at least the crucial ones
djnvs 4:37 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
at least the crucial ones


Most important ones are
Command a+m
Command q,y
tig ol' bitties 4:39 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
at least the crucial ones


Most important ones are
Command a+m
Command q,y


lol. I know im never really serious, but this is one of those special moments when I am...haha
djnvs 4:44 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
at least the crucial ones


Most important ones are
Command a+m
Command q,y


lol. I know im never really serious, but this is one of those special moments when I am...haha


Just activate the help button... and mouse over whatever you need to find shortcuts for... it will give you the shortcut for each deck... or mouseover the help button and you will get a list of all shortcuts
tig ol' bitties 4:46 PM - 30 August, 2007
ive done that and nothing ever flippin works...the use of the mouse is beginning to really irk me.

do i need caps lock on?
djnvs 4:49 PM - 30 August, 2007
Nope...should just work... leave the cursor over whatever you want the shortcut for... leave it for a second or 2
AFR33K1000 4:50 PM - 30 August, 2007
You need to click on the ? mark first for the hover action to work.
tig ol' bitties 4:52 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
You need to click on the ? mark first for the hover action to work.


yah i got that. haha
djnvs 4:52 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
You need to click on the ? mark first for the hover action to work.
J0be 5:11 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
You need to click on the ? mark first for the hover action to work.
AFR33K1000 5:13 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
You need to ? on the click mark first for the hover action to work.
sixxx 5:14 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
You need to click on the ? mark first for the hover action to work.
AFR33K1000 5:15 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
You need to click on her ?-able mark first for her hoover action to work.
KaGeN 5:17 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
You need to click on her ?-able mark first for her hoover action to work.


MAC or PC ?
sixxx 5:20 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
You need to her for her action to work on your hoover
AFR33K1000 5:23 PM - 30 August, 2007
^^^that just made ne sense.......re-up.
djaction 5:34 PM - 30 August, 2007
wait did someone say I'm working on someones hoover?!
sixxx 5:57 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
^^^that just made ne sense.......re-up.


hahaha. I did fuck it all up didn't I? hahaha
AdamJay 6:59 PM - 30 August, 2007
one of my favorite tricks for people with macs no more than a couple years old is to take my frontrow remote with me to the club, and right when they are searching for a tune, hit the menu button. these little remotes are all the same and work on all macs with the frontrow infrared censor.

the look on a dude's face when his SSL screen fades to the background is priceless.
you usually have to be behind him to do this, as the censor is on the front. so the key is being getting behind him without him knowing you're back there.

few people who buy macs disable this feature, as its in the Security section of System Prefs (odd place for it), you'd be amazed how many DJs i've done this to early in the night (definitely not a peak hour prank, unless you hate the guy)

warning, this may cause a USB drop out.
KaGeN 7:02 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
one of my favorite tricks for people with macs no more than a couple years old is to take my frontrow remote with me to the club, and right when they are searching for a tune, hit the menu button. these little remotes are all the same and work on all macs with the frontrow infrared censor.

the look on a dude's face when his SSL screen fades to the background is priceless.
you usually have to be behind him to do this, as the censor is on the front. so the key is being getting behind him without him knowing you're back there.

few people who buy macs disable this feature, as its in the Security section of System Prefs (odd place for it), you'd be amazed how many DJs i've done this to early in the night (definitely not a peak hour prank, unless you hate the guy)

warning, this may cause a USB drop out.


I am so buying that fuckin REMOTE !!
DJ-A 7:05 PM - 30 August, 2007
That is AWESOME! i'll put one in my gig bag forsure.

what is the range?
AdamJay 7:08 PM - 30 August, 2007
i've done it from as far as 30ft away with a direct line of sight.

all they gotta do from the computer is hit escape to get out of it though. but they rarely know that. few DJs with macs are actual mac nerds. so its a fun game.
once i had a DJ run up to me freaking out, i told him we have a remote at the club that might work, took it out of my pocket and handed it to him... he didn't put 2 and 2 together, just thankfully grabbed it and hit the menu button to make it all go away.



dense!!!
AdamJay 7:09 PM - 30 August, 2007
oooooh and if they have porn in their movie folder, you can quickly navigate to it from front row and get that double penetration scene going in no time!!
AFR33K1000 7:10 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
I am so buying that fuckin REMOTE !!


YES! me too............Supa Soak dem Mac bitches, then tell em I got me some bathin' apes.
J0be 7:13 PM - 30 August, 2007
hahahah class
AdamJay 7:13 PM - 30 August, 2007
its a great way to request a track too, just navigate to "lean like a cholo" under the music icon.
hahahaha
KaGeN 7:14 PM - 30 August, 2007
all the more reason to buy a DELL dude... LOL
AdamJay 7:15 PM - 30 August, 2007
or learn how to really use your fucking mac.
i swear i've become mac guru at the club lately, so many SSL DJs buying macs and then having no clue how to use them.
tig ol' bitties 7:18 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
or learn how to really use your fucking mac.
i swear i've become mac guru at the club lately, so many SSL DJs buying macs and then having no clue how to use them.


I blame it on the excess of diesel that has been flowing thru the Bean as of late :p
KaGeN 7:18 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
or learn how to really use your fucking mac.
i swear i've become mac guru at the club lately, so many SSL DJs buying macs and then having no clue how to use them.


cuz of all the hype on these boards.. LOL
dirtbag filthy 7:21 PM - 30 August, 2007
thats how i usually dj

sit back and drink and use the remote and itunes

i just bring all the gear to pretend im not a microwave
dj_soo 7:51 PM - 30 August, 2007
you guys are such dicks
DJ Limelight 7:57 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
one of my favorite tricks for people with macs no more than a couple years old is to take my frontrow remote with me to the club, and right when they are searching for a tune, hit the menu button. these little remotes are all the same and work on all macs with the frontrow infrared censor.

the look on a dude's face when his SSL screen fades to the background is priceless.
you usually have to be behind him to do this, as the censor is on the front. so the key is being getting behind him without him knowing you're back there.

few people who buy macs disable this feature, as its in the Security section of System Prefs (odd place for it), you'd be amazed how many DJs i've done this to early in the night (definitely not a peak hour prank, unless you hate the guy)

warning, this may cause a USB drop out.


Considering I've played at your club, I'm REALLY trying to remember if you did that shit to me! HAHA!!!
DrStank 8:18 PM - 30 August, 2007
One of the first things I did was disable my remote sensor. But, my remote is brand spankin' new and still in the box my PowerBook came in. BUAHAHAHAHAHAH... I can't wait to spin with Joel Madden again... or any other celebrity DJ for that matter.

BTW, to all the Dell people who think they're safe, think again. I also have a Media Center remote.
AFR33K1000 8:36 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
BTW, to all the Dell people who think they're safe, think again. I also have a Media Center remote.


But yeah,PC heads are smart enough to kick that media center shit to the curb. They all know bloat don't do you good.
DrStank 8:45 PM - 30 August, 2007
Quote:
But yeah,PC heads are smart enough to kick that media center shit to the curb. They all know bloat don't do you good.


That's the funniest post in this thread. We have a winer!!!
Fishr Pryce 9:26 PM - 30 August, 2007
Gee thanks a lot guys. I was rocking my residnecy last night and was killing it, and decided to try the ctrl Q Y ya'll kept talking about, and it shut my fucking Searto off @ peak time. The owners were fucking pissed, and I lost my 3 nights. I got home, and my chick left me when I told about it. Thanks a lot you assholes ruined my life.
AFR33K1000 9:30 PM - 30 August, 2007
.......and I also heard there gonna BAN ya ass from the board too.
sixxx 9:31 PM - 30 August, 2007
lol
Fishr Pryce 9:55 PM - 30 August, 2007
Sidenote the ctrl am did help me crush it up until that incident.
DrStank 10:22 PM - 30 August, 2007
Did you upgrade to the Final version of 1.73???

That's why you're alone and gigless.
DJ_Mike_Coquilla 10:30 PM - 30 August, 2007
bump
djmarvel 12:11 AM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
Gee thanks a lot guys. I was rocking my residnecy last night and was killing it, and decided to try the ctrl Q Y ya'll kept talking about, and it shut my fucking Searto off @ peak time. The owners were fucking pissed, and I lost my 3 nights. I got home, and my chick left me when I told about it. Thanks a lot you assholes ruined my life.



there is a god!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DJ-A 1:55 AM - 31 August, 2007
want to take a poll to see who we wish that had happened to?
djnvs 3:08 AM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
Gee thanks a lot guys. I was rocking my residnecy last night and was killing it, and decided to try the ctrl Q Y ya'll kept talking about, and it shut my fucking Searto off @ peak time. The owners were fucking pissed, and I lost my 3 nights. I got home, and my chick left me when I told about it. Thanks a lot you assholes ruined my life.


now only if you would have died... that would have been the perfect evening...
sixxx 4:44 AM - 31 August, 2007
lol
DJ-A 5:37 AM - 31 August, 2007
damn the haters are out tonight... must be mad cause they're not working...
Dj Silver Glass 7:26 AM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
Gee thanks a lot guys. I was rocking my residnecy last night and was killing it, and decided to try the ctrl Q Y ya'll kept talking about, and it shut my fucking Searto off @ peak time. The owners were fucking pissed, and I lost my 3 nights. I got home, and my chick left me when I told about it. Thanks a lot you assholes ruined my life.



HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! sorry but I can't help but laugh at that
djnvs 7:42 AM - 31 August, 2007
No really sixxx...this forum and the world would be better if he wasn't alive...
J0be 3:28 PM - 31 August, 2007
That what your mom said.

Sorry I HAD TO!

;) ;)
djnvs 4:49 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
That what your mom said.

Sorry I HAD TO!

;) ;)

Ooh... sick burn
djmarvel 5:23 PM - 31 August, 2007
or just bang mutes like i do, even if i do it wrong what can they say about it
djnvs 6:27 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
or just bang mutes like i do, even if i do it wrong what can they say about it



Hahahahahahahahaha...... or cripples, so they can't run away
djmarvel 8:43 PM - 31 August, 2007
yeah i like a chick with no arms or no legs, so if she rolls over to get away its just a brand new position, plus she cant fight back
sixxx 8:58 PM - 31 August, 2007
hahahahaha
djnvs 8:59 PM - 31 August, 2007
I got a trick you can do with relatives...

Convince a hot cousin to play "just the tip" and tell her its to preserve the purity of your bloodline
sixxx 8:59 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
I got a trick you can do with relatives...

Convince a hot cousin to play "just the tip" and tell her its to preserve the purity of your bloodline


hahahahahaha. You're a fool for that one!
djnvs 9:01 PM - 31 August, 2007
Ooh shit.. Its relative MODE...my bad
djmarvel 9:05 PM - 31 August, 2007
"YOUR MY SISTER, YOUR MY SISTER"
djnvs 9:07 PM - 31 August, 2007
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
djmarvel 9:16 PM - 31 August, 2007
im all about science and i have a hot 1st cousin and if i knock her up i dont think i will spawn a tard. i know i could wear a condom but those are for nazi's and non christians, so ima put science to the test

by the way if i offended any nazi's i apologize

im crush my cousin in the mix now be back
sixxx 9:17 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
im all about science and i have a hot 1st cousin and if i knock her up i dont think i will spawn a tard. i know i could wear a condom but those are for nazi's and non christians, so ima put science to the test

by the way if i offended any nazi's i apologize

im crush my cousin in the mix now be back


hahahaha
djnvs 9:19 PM - 31 August, 2007
Lol... I see your parents were first cousins...
DJ-A 9:29 PM - 31 August, 2007
Must live in the south...
DJ-A 9:30 PM - 31 August, 2007
seriously though i was in the south and there is a town about 60 minutes from Memphis and every person who is from that town has the last name of either Ivy, Berry, or Welch
djnvs 9:35 PM - 31 August, 2007
Wow.... I never really met anyone that was inbred... but it would be funny as shit though
DJ-A 9:45 PM - 31 August, 2007
its wierd... you dont know who is related to who... but then they really are all realated to eachother... but who is brother, sister, mom, who is dad, uncle, grandpa... i mean they are married and stuff... but confusing as hell when they all have the same last name... maybe thats why they are called by their first and middle name...

mary lee
mary leigh
mary beth
mary ann
billy joe
billy bob
djnvs 9:53 PM - 31 August, 2007
Hahahahahahahahahahaha..... everytime I go to little rock I hope I see someone who was inbred... a lot of people there look like they might just be..
Fishr Pryce 9:59 PM - 31 August, 2007
Forget crippled and mutes, I mess with homeless chicks. When you're done you can drop them off anywhere.
djnvs 10:02 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
Forget crippled and mutes, I mess with homeless chicks. When you're done you can drop them off anywhere.


You never want to hang out at their place though... them bitches always live in the middle of nowhere
djmarvel 10:14 PM - 31 August, 2007
plus homeless chicks never want to cuddle, just wipe of with a newspaper and keep it movin
djnvs 10:19 PM - 31 August, 2007
I'm never giving another homless chic a cheeseburger for a gummer again
djmarvel 10:33 PM - 31 August, 2007
your grandma pops the dentures out for free homie
djnvs 10:39 PM - 31 August, 2007
She's been holding out on me... the slut
DJ-A 10:46 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
Forget crippled and mutes, I mess with homeless chicks. When you're done you can drop them off anywhere.


never take them home... they may decide your front step is more comfortabe than their bench
djnvs 10:49 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Forget crippled and mutes, I mess with homeless chicks. When you're done you can drop them off anywhere.


never take them home... they may decide your front step is more comfortabe than their bench

And here I thought the bitch was stalking me....
djmarvel 10:55 PM - 31 August, 2007
never take any broad home!
djnvs 11:00 PM - 31 August, 2007
Them bitches only get the back seat of the buick....
DJ-A 11:16 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
never take any broad home!


their room mates always made me feel wierd though... hi i'm ______ we'll see you tomorrow morning. good night...
djmarvel 11:17 PM - 31 August, 2007
lol the buick!!! Im never sitting in the back of that thing
HittinSkinzTa2 11:19 PM - 31 August, 2007
This has got to be one of the funniest threads I've ever come across. Literally laughing out loud. I can't believe I never opened it before!!! :)
djmarvel 11:19 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
never take any broad home!


their room mates always made me feel wierd though... hi i'm ______ we'll see you tomorrow morning. good night...


i think its awesome to see them the next morning after drilling that hoe all night, especially after i throw the condom in thier room afterwards
DJ-A 11:19 PM - 31 August, 2007
the one night thing was always weird too... uhhh want to do it again?

so,what are you doing today

"nothing"

oh, (shit think of something...) cool... (damn now what do i say)

"what are you doing today?"

uhhh nothing (fuck me! damnit!! did i just say that?)
DJ-A 11:20 PM - 31 August, 2007
^^^(forgot to say next morning)
DJ-A 11:22 PM - 31 August, 2007
i thought it was akward when they stay at my house, its sunday and they know i dont have concrete plans, and they dont want to leave... or when you are tired of them in your bed, and you want them on th e floor or something
DJ-A 11:23 PM - 31 August, 2007
Anyone from Seattle? if so i'll tell a story... if not maybe some other time
djnvs 11:23 PM - 31 August, 2007
Lol... marvel... actually no one ever got the back seat... but someone DID get the front seat...hahahahaha


One night things are cool..especially if you give a chic your date ra..errr um, your "vegas" name... you get her pregnant and never call her again
DJ-A 11:25 PM - 31 August, 2007
pregnant is never cool... i like kids, but i dont want one attached to my DNA
djnvs 11:26 PM - 31 August, 2007
Lol...eh... if shecant find me, I don't worry about it
DJ-A 11:29 PM - 31 August, 2007
babies are people... thats fucked up... i dont want to mess anyones life up so i can get laid... just wear a condom and everyone is happy... besides i got to protect myself too... all kinds of nastiness covered up out there
djmarvel 11:32 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
babies are people... thats fucked up... i dont want to mess anyones life up so i can get laid... just wear a condom and everyone is happy... besides i got to protect myself too... all kinds of nastiness covered up out there


babies arent people if you kick her in the stomache

also thats why you pay hookers, they leave in the morning
djnvs 11:32 PM - 31 August, 2007
Hahaha
HittinSkinzTa2 11:33 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
babies are people... thats fucked up... i dont want to mess anyones life up so i can get laid... just wear a condom and everyone is happy... besides i got to protect myself too... all kinds of nastiness covered up out there


babies arent people if you kick her in the stomache

also thats why you pay hookers, they leave in the morning


LOL!
DJ-A 11:34 PM - 31 August, 2007
never paid for sex... if i did i think there would have been less drama in my life..
KaGeN 11:34 PM - 31 August, 2007
hmm. I thought you didn't pay for sex with a hooker, you paid them to leave.
djnvs 11:36 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
babies are people... thats fucked up... i dont want to mess anyones life up so i can get laid... just wear a condom and everyone is happy... besides i got to protect myself too... all kinds of nastiness covered up out there


babies arent people if you kick her in the stomache

also thats why you pay hookers, they leave in the morning
DJ-A 11:36 PM - 31 August, 2007
think of that... offering a chick $20 to shut up and leave... that would be funny
djnvs 11:38 PM - 31 August, 2007
$20?? Someone overpaid
DrStank 11:40 PM - 31 August, 2007
Done it.


"Hon... hon!!!! BABE!!!!! Hey... I'll give you $100 to STFU and leave. Seriously. I gotta work in the morning and you wanna talk. So name your price."
djnvs 11:44 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
Done it.


"Hon... hon!!!! BABE!!!!! Hey... I'll give you $100 to STFU and leave. Seriously. I gotta work in the morning and you wanna talk. So name your price."


You guys are paying way too much.... she's lucky if she gets $5 from me
KaGeN 11:47 PM - 31 August, 2007
I cut farts, it's cheaper.
djnvs 11:49 PM - 31 August, 2007
Quote:
I cut farts, it's cheaper.


Is that a feature you can use in relative mode?
KaGeN 11:51 PM - 31 August, 2007
totally... rip and press Alt + F4 - game over.
djmarvel 11:51 PM - 31 August, 2007
you really dont have to pay a hooker, just beat her till she leaves
djnvs 11:53 PM - 31 August, 2007
I have a mac... so command q
djmarvel 11:58 PM - 31 August, 2007
i know beating women is wrong, but how else do they learn not to talk back!!!
djnvs 12:03 AM - 1 September, 2007
Plus... its a hooker... they don't count like normal women....
djmarvel 12:07 AM - 1 September, 2007
of course not, they also have no souls or feelings
djnvs 12:09 AM - 1 September, 2007
I also hear they preffer traktor scratch....
djmarvel 12:11 AM - 1 September, 2007
what was this thread about again?
djnvs 12:13 AM - 1 September, 2007
Something about relatives turning tricks
Fishr Pryce 1:44 AM - 1 September, 2007
Quote:
Something about relatives turning tricks


So what did most people say? Cause I think if its your relative you should get a discount, and its not incest, because its business. Everyone knows you don't mix biz and family.
djnvs 1:50 AM - 1 September, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
Something about relatives turning tricks


So what did most people say? Cause I think if its your relative you should get a discount, and its not incest, because its business. Everyone knows you don't mix biz and family.

No its "don't do busines with relatives" and if your relative turns tricks then no matter what you're DOING business with relatives... or doing "the business" with relatives
djnvs 8:08 AM - 4 September, 2007
no one revealing anymore tricks?
CMOS 5:33 PM - 4 September, 2007
Quote:
i know beating women is wrong, but how else do they learn not to talk back!!!





What do one Million abused women have in common?




















































































They dont fuckin listen!
djnvs 5:38 PM - 4 September, 2007
Maybe some of them will learn to listen
J0be 6:52 PM - 4 September, 2007
Quote:
Quote:
i know beating women is wrong, but how else do they learn not to talk back!!!





What do one Million abused women have in common?




They dont fuckin listen!


hahahahaha
DJ-A 8:03 PM - 4 September, 2007
what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?





















nothin, she's been twice already!
Fishr Pryce 8:23 PM - 4 September, 2007
Why do women wear white at their weddings?





You want your dishwasher to match your fridge.
J0be 9:25 PM - 4 September, 2007
hahaha!