no

once you get married it's all over. You might as well quit

You need to find a balance between the music and the wife. I used to be 100% all music, for a long time, and my wife almost left me... I made a few changes and all that shit worked itself out... When Im with my wife, Its our time. When Im in the lab or the club, Its music time. Relationships are give and take. If she truly loves you, She will understand and respect the time you need to dedicate to your craft, but you gotta spend that quality time with her and the family as well.

I quit my residency for my girlfriend.....WORST MISTAKE EVER, cause now all she wants to do is go to the damn club but now im payin to get in like a sucka, luckily fates throwin me a 2nd chance as i have a good prospect comming up at a new residency. Ive already told her im taking it if possible and shes gonna have to make her decession afterwards, i promised myself 2010 im going to focus HARD on my music hustle

I would GLADLY make that compromise......then spend all my time at the club or in the lab LOL

oh its you!! lololol hahhaa
nice to hear your side of the story. yeah that would be a mistake, and one i dont want to make, but i have had to cancel sets and have other people play my slot many times for the GF. but i think im selfish sometimes, but am i really??? thats my problem.

+1 Best response! Been married 26 yrs..so I can say that!

I'd sell my equipment for a good piece of @ss

lol. ill get you some ass for your DJM800 and your techs and SL3.

lol

There are a few things I would never sell and that's my 1200's and mixer. I don't care if I'm completely broke.

As far as the relationship, all relationships are based (or should be) based on compromise. Right now, I'm still doing the weekly club thing after many years. The only difference is now I have two kids and a wife. Is it different than when I was single? Of course, but at the same time, it's possible. You just gotta learn to manage your time.

Ive been married 8 years, been with my lady for 12, so yeah... She survived all the music genres... She hated Drum&Bass... LOL

Seriously tho.... You just gotta set that time aside... For me, Its meant sometimes losing sleep. Hang out with wife, watch movie or TV, put her to sleep and hit the lab from 11pm-3-4am just to go to work at 8am. Im still dedicated to my music hustle but the family always comes first.

If you have kids, The dynamics between music, wife and family can change drastically. I'll find out soon enough.

hated? or hates now?

my GF hated but doesnt hate DNB now. she also hated weed, flat screen tvs, cars, nice sofa's, basically anything she coundnt have, lol. but now its all good.

LOL - MY wife doesnt mind DNB. For a while, I played real dark, twisted, non-vocal DNB.... She likes ragga and hiphop styled stuff... All good... When I started playing open format around 02-03, She was digging that more.

I wish my wife would go to sleep so I could work on stuff. She just can't. So, if I'm up at 3 am, so is she. She can't sleep alone.

(no misquote)

My ex used to be just like that.

No, and that's why my last relationship ended.

If you are getting paid and DJing is your job and not an expensive hobby, then you have to have a lady that at least respects what you do for a living. And if your a good DJ there is NO WAY your equipment is worth more then using it to get paid. most people these days are working mad hours to pay the bills if you weren't DJing you might still be at the office for 50-60 hours a week. I'm lucky now, but I had a few girlfriends that just seemed mad that I got paid to do what I love. Entertaining people is fun an is a legit job no matter what your ladies might think.

My missus is fine with it as long as the money comes in. The events that are not bringing dough in she moans about which is fair enough.

As for the question. I probably wouldn't quit. If its bringing in money to the house then I see no reason to quit. If it wasn't and I was doing what I call ''for the love of djing'' gigs then yeah I'd consider quitting. I like spending time with the missus and to be honest she moans about alot of stuff but me making time for her isn't one of them so I can only assume I have the balance right.

I am fortunate to have a wife who supports my love of music. (she doesn`t mind the extra money either)
I quit my day job a couple years ago (I was a land surveyor for 7+ yrs.) and I`m making more money doing music than I ever did working in the woods 10 hrs. a day.
My wife was the one who encouraged me to follow my dreams and turn my DJing/producing from a hobby into a career.
Just like a 9-5 takes time away from your family, only now it`s just mostly weekends
9-2 (plus time in the lab and the occasional mobile job)
We also have a 18mo. old girl who has already put her share of fingerprints on my control vinyl. I actually get to spend all week with them at this precious stage of our lives.
There is a balance, you just have to find it. It IS possible to have your cake and eat it too!

My wife is cool with it as long as the Cash keeps flowing. She's not a big fan of my nasty gear habit but she understands it to a point. It is a little harder to keep a balance when you have kids, but my Son is getting into it and I'm sure my daughter will like music too. My kids and family will always come first though. The tough part is today, My son's birthday and I've got to prep for a massive 500ppl party. I feel like I try to do 2 or 3 things at once on NYE every year.... Plus it always snows today. But in short, Never quit for a woman, never! :)

Ive been married for 20 years and my wife always support my hobbie as a dj, + making extra money is always nice =), the deal was i get to spin she keeps the money hehehe so it worked out pretty good.
You need to find balance in your life in order to do both (regular job and dj) but once you find it its all good, my daughters love the fact im a dj and my oldest daughter is always at the club with me, she is the one who tells me what song is good or what song is about to hit and so far she is always right! so it helps to have someone in the inside helping you out.
I spin fridays and saturdays so sundays its family day, we all go out and eat and at night i hit the club with my wife and have a good time.

Indeed.... DJing nowadays is supplemental income to get rid of those pesky bill collectors... LOL

very true, when bill collectors call me i tell them i dont currently have the money to pay, when they ask what my job is i tell them im a full time DJ and begin asking if they need a dj then i play them my mix...usually they hang up by the 1st scratch and it usually buys me a few weeks before they call back.....I DJ SO BAD....

I think that i'm supportive of her interests, so she should be supportive and want to see me be happy in mine too...

that said, i think that relationships need time, and you cant be selfish.

My X acted supportive, and then threw everything (DJ-ing) in my face once divorce was brought up... obviously she wasnt as supportive as she acted...

Thats how my wife is. I'll be down in the lab and she'll keep commin in and botherin me and tellin me to come to bed.

The DJing and family is a weekly battle with me. I recently got let go from my Friday night gig. Which kinda worked out. (Owner wanted to switch up the genre of music because of fights.) My girl kept complaining she wanted me home for 1 of the weekend nights. So now im going to try and find a weekday evening gig.

We've had many of fights over my DJing. Until I start gettin paid those big bucks to DJ and quit my day job, we will probally be having many more.........sucks.

SAME FOR ME!

Well if anything, us single ones are the people you should be taking advice from.You think cause were single were automaticaly have always been that way?We are the ones who have already been through the shit you asking the question about while you are obviously still learning.Thats why we say "we would never quit or cut back". Dont get it twisted.

I believe in compromise but that goes both ways.If you both cant handle it (that goes for anything) then dont be in a relationship.Its not about being weak and quiting, its about being wise and strong enough to know when shits not gonna work and cutting your losses.

In the end,theres really no right or wrong answer to this because every relationship is different and no one knows your relationship better than you and your girl (or at least you should)

same here but mines acutually worse than that, mines a bit needy so its not just a bedtime thing, for example i have a gig tonight, and last night im doing some last minute digging, as soon as i popped up itunes to look and make sure theres nothing i missed i get "hey come lay in the bed with me and watch this show", i tell her i gotta do this as its important for tomarow and she starts wiggin out sayin just for a minute ect ect ect so obviously im not gonna get any work done so i go watch TV with her, after about 5 minutes i realise i have NO interest in the movie shes watching and go to get up and i start hearing it again about how i never pay attn to her (mind you before this we went out to eat went shopping for her new years eve outfit and went and hung out with some of her friends)....this is pretty much an every night thing




this is what im trying to drive into my head currently, I dont have any quit in my personality and im the kinda guy who will always try to work things out if somethings not working but the more serious im getting with DJin and the more serious she is about just goin out in general the more im wonderin if its worth it

mine whould be my vinyl..
1200's & mixers are easly replaced..

and

fuck a relationship..
the more women the better

Ya but people worry about how society veiws them.^^

in a relationship for 4 years.. living together for 3.. this girl needs constant attention, i work just 30 hours a week - she works nothing - and when I'm not sitting on the couch with her I may as well be on the otherside of the country.. turns into arguments with me screaming for 45mins to myself, just 1 room away on the decks. She see's musicians, producers on TV, rolling around in money, turns to me and asks why aren't you famous?.. "give me a day on the MPC without working, cooking and cleaning for you and I just might" no wonder i drink so much.

^^^ Damn homie

yo thats not a relationship, she sounds like a dictator, fuck that get out while u still can!!!!

@ Formulated.

To give you a different view point men are kind of self sufficient in the sense that if we're home alone we'll watch a movie, play xbox, dj, learn a new instrument etc etc. We find things to amuse our time where as i find as a rule women don't.

If you're missus is out of work (assuming she's not just lazy) she maybe bored and looking forward to you coming home. My missus had an operation a month ago and has been at home recovering and is bored stiff from watching tv. As soon as I come in she perks up and wants to talk. It's hard as I've been at work and want to relax but you have to make that time if you want things to work.

My girl has really put a damper on my dj game but I can't blame her, I was doing way to much durring and after my gigs.

I guess that's one way to do it. lol

My girlfriend really does have bad attitudes, mostly towards me paying attention to other women, but she NEVER complained about me djing. In that case she is really encouraging me.
She also doesn´t want to spend too much time with me on the couch and leaves me alone when I am doing something concentrated. Only important thing is to do stuff with her like go skiing our go out for a long walk. I am glad she got her own hobbies and likes being left alone from time to time.
It is really funny how we all talk about our girlfriens like other people talk about taking care of their dogs.

My friends were telling me to get out of my MARRIAGE for a long time... and your girl sounds like more of a bitch than my X... After I got out i was so much more happy. Do yourself a favor and get out. There's tons of chicks that will treat you better and be less stress than her.

No way.......in the past I did that, with no noticeable gain. Give an inch, they'll take a yard!

a yard? more like they'll take everything!!!!

they'll see it as you should feel lucky for mowing the yard... cause they can find someone to do that too...

My wife doesn't mind the DJing and getting paid part. She just does not like for me to do the networking part. To her it looks like partying and hanging out. Nowdays, if I'm working at the club or party I'm just not there. But being out there and being seen at the clubs and talking to promoters and owners is how you keep that money coming in. Combine the money you spend on drinks, gas, and sometimes a door fee you can end up spending $50 a night easily. Sometimes the wife just doesn't understand that.

Then you factor in the time that she is left alone with the kids while you are out at work during the day and DJing or networking at night and forget about it. There's an argument every other day.

I pretty much had to cut out the networking part just to keep the peace, but I gotta start it back up again because the gigs are getting kinda slow.

Cut back, yes

Sell-off Equipment? no

If she met you as a DJ, and accepted you, she should take the good with the bad.
If DJing is a secondary source of income, then you might be able to afford the change.
But if it's your primary...FUGGETABOUTIT!

Why in a relationship, the guy wants the girl to stay exactly how she is, but the girl will spend a lifetime trying to change HIM?!?!

myself im extremely lucky my gf supports what i do and drives me to all my events so im fresh and relaxed and is always supportive and even helps sometimes taking requests down on post its so i dont have to chat to the drunk people

but if she asked me to quit im afraid i would have to say no i love the its all about the music for me

Ya I mentioned this to a female friend and she was like "Thats not true.Men are controlling and try to change the girl all the time"

I said: "Well its in a mans nature to want to take controll of any situation that affects him directly, especially if its hurting him.If anything, if done apppropriatly, that should be admired.And its not that the man is trying to change his girl, its that he's trying to keep her from changing"

Yep^^^^

Men were first to say WTF... I guarantee it

WOW that shounds EXACTLY like my situation lol

you'll regret it more for staying in the relationship than if you get out...

Yall 2 need a big box of "throw that bitch out". Especially you bezzle, you had a paying gig to prepare for and she said "fuck that hes gonna pay attention to me". Run for the hills homies.

im currently single and i know with me, im trying to dump one of my weekend nights.. i have missed some serious opportunities with some fresh hotties... the more access u have to that special lady, the better u have of getting to know her and gettn with her... on a relationship basis, im tired of fuckin these sluts... i wanna serious chick. i guess thats what im gonna do in march, drop one of my nights so i can be with my friends.. and actually spend time with a girl... on a weekend night. i have a wed fri and a sat gig, so im gonna pick up a thurs and drop fri or sat, but do i get with the money... or the hot spot?

I was dj-in for about 10 years when I met my girl. Took a few years of to start a family (Like 8 years hahah). Now I have a nice home and a two year old son and in 2009 I picked up spinning again...

The last year has allready been amazing: I helped putting up a big summer festival, met loads of interesting people and learned so much about other musical styles and I've been to and played at some of the best party's ever!!!
Seems like last year brought me more in music then the ten years did before, and the misses supports me 100%.

Only downside is; By now I'm about the oldest dude around here playing progressive house, techno and electro hahaha.

maybe the wisest too...
are you experienced? ;)

no misquote needed, keep it in the PMs guys (no misquote)

^^^obviously M.Bezzle is experienced...

btw "are you experienced?" refers to the Jimi Hendrix album and the psychedelic culture that began in the late 60's...

Wisest?? I siriously doubt it..
Most motivated? Yes!
Most open minded? Yes!

Experience? 16 years of dj-in.

In a relationship for 6 years - just got married last Sept.

my wife is also a DJ and producer so she understands and is incredibly supportive.

that be said, you have to make time for your family... if you're going to be focused on music 100% at the exclusion of all else then why even be in a relationship?

What has helped is I'm doing DJing full time right now and she only works part time so i get to spend a lot of time with her during the day.

Damn that would be nice.

my girl just bought me a MAcbook pro yesterday bc i was complaining my computer was not stable enough to do gigs! so yea i would spare some time for her

........where do you guys find these chics!!!!

^^^^nice one!! yeah i know! lol where do you find em. but dont get me wrong love mine, absolutely love her. except when she wants me home early on gig nights. lol.
i gotta play and leave right away sometimes. but its a weekly gig, so i dont mind sometimes.

lol mine just bitches at me cause when im giggin cause im not there to pay for her to get into a good club to see a good dj

what!!! that sucks. to my GF, im the DJ she wants to see play. and all our club friends. not someone else in another club, thats no support. why, doesnt she like the tunes you spin?

not so much the tunes as shes just not a fan of me spinnin out, she cant stand that people show me attn when i do it and she double cant stand that when i do it she dosent have all of my attn. Shes not a fan at all and shes WAYYY more intersted in hangin with our club frineds then seein me spin so if there not where im at good luck gettin her there. I was spinning downtown new years eve and all of our friends had this place onthe other side of town locked down so she went there showed up to my gig at 12 on the dot hung out for about 20 minutes and dipped back to the other spot. she does bitch about the music a bit but its cause she (like me) is an EDM fan so she bitches that she wants certian EDM songs and theres no way i can play em cause theyd kill the dancefloor..we also get into arguments over music in the car, shes SUCH a sheep and a control freak, ill be playing a mixtape and shell bitch about how the music sucks so ill get fed up with it and tell her to put a cd in and itll be the same kinda shit i was playin, like for example DJ Digital sent me an exclusive hotboys\lilwayne mixtape...basically ALL lil wayne tracks, i was checkin it out to see how he mixed the cuts, well she starts bitching about how the music sucks and she wants to hear HER cds, finally i say fine fuck it put in your cd and what does she put in.......the carter 3

I just cut my old lady loose a few weeks.. I can't tell you how much stress that relieved.... Where's freeman when you need him?? LOL

i tried that last week, we got into a fight and i kept my phone off for about 3 days, maaaddd relaxin got tons done got some good spinnin in i was feelin good, then i turned the phone on day 4 and by that night she was back with me lookin like how the hell did i fuck this up

ohman thats messed up and must be hard. sorry man, ive been there too. hard choice to make.

Hands down... the best thing about an X is having them in the past.

I think we can all agree that X's are X's for a reason...

How do you try to cut someone loose. You either do or you dont. This chick from what you have written sounds like a major Cunt.

HELL NO!!
Roll with me or get left behind

dude, sounds like a dead-end relationship. stop wasting your time with her and focus on what you want to do. might give up a bit of sex but sometimes it's good to take a break and get your head straight.

either that or gives you a chance to play the field again.

"You and I are the past, c'est la vie, much respect girl.....
but now you're my ex-girl, cuz I'm on with the next girl"

Time to cut her loose Beezle, looks like your just carrying dead weight around. Next.......

I agree. if your going through that much Drama now? It only gets worse over time.. Trust me.

I'd cut my woman In half to increse my dj ing time!!!

hahahaha

Just kidding! (hopes she isnt reading this) hahaha

no if she ever asked me to quit, she can fuck off come back again then fuck off !!!

My ex HATED my job. I never gave her any reason, but she was super insecure about my work environment because of other women. She was a former bar whore so she thought I was that way. I'm not. I've worked in the clubs long enough to have a very good understanding of where the line is. That being said, if they don't like what you do, they don't like you for you. PERIOD. I don't care if there's money coming in or not!! It really comes down to your own priorities. Do you want to be a big time DJ, have a couple nights somewhere, or be a hobbyist? If you just want to dabble, it shouldn't be hard making a woman happy. If you want to be dedicated and work a lot, be prepared to piss a few women off before you find one that understands. I know a guy who has so many it doesn't matter if one of them understands, he'll just move on to the next ;) I can tell you this, I will NEVER let a woman, no matter how hot, get in the way of me or any of my dreams. Life is way too short!!